I saw another post were someone was asking what their skills and experiences are worth to a potential employer, out of curiosity what would you rate mine.
The following is my CV, unfortunately pasting it to Reddit has messed up the formatting a bit.
*******@.com ∙ ******* ∙ Leeds, UK
A results-oriented individual with experience in warehouse operations. Negotiates effectively at senior level, with a proven ability to develop and implement effective new processes. An influential communicator, able to successfully motivate teams to deliver warehouse operations across planning, inventory management, purchasing, storage, safety, security, and quality. Areas of Expertise include: Warehouse Operations Logistics Distribution Stock Control Project Coordination Staff Training & Motivation Relationship Building Accurate Record Keeping Problem Resolution Preventative maintenance Customer Service Tool Repairs
Professional Experience Lontra ∙ Doncater ∙ August 2023 to present Inventors of the LPs Blower Unit.
Stores Person, (August 2023 to Present) Key responsibilities Maintain accurate records of all items in stock. Conduct regular stock checks and audits. Receive incoming shipments of goods and verify their accuracy. Inspect products for quality and quantity. Document and report any damaged or defective items. Maintain detailed records of inventory transactions. Generate reports on inventory levels and activities. Keep accurate records of received and shipped goods. Adhere to safety regulations and guidelines. Maintain a clean and organised work environment. Collaborate with other departments to meet inventory needs. Address inventory discrepancies and resolve issues. Identify and propose process improvements for efficiency. Prepare items for shipment, including packaging and labelling. Maintain shipping records and documentation.
Employment Gap ∙ June 2023 to August 2023.
Due to the unfortunate closure of Ilke Homes I found myself unemployed from June 2023 to August 2023.
Ilke Homes ∙ Knaresborough ∙ 2021 to June 2023. The market leader in sustainable modular housing.
Tooling Technician, Tool Store manager, Manufacturing Engineering (January 2022 to June 2023) As the inaugural Tooling Technician, I successfully established and managed the tool stores, overseeing their expansion from a small storeroom to a warehouse housing over 350 items.
Key responsibilities and Accomplishments: Standardising tooling processes to ensure consistency and efficiency throughout the organisation. Identifying and sourcing cost-effective tooling alternatives, resulting in significant cost savings. Maintaining optimal stock levels of power tools, hand tools, and machine consumables in the tool stores. Managing monthly purchasing activities, with an average expenditure of £35,000 to £45,000. Providing expert advice on selecting new tools for emerging procedures. Establishing relationships with new tool suppliers and coordinating account setup with the finance team. Conducting maintenance and repairs on power tools, including chop saws, air tools, and other equipment. Assisting in the upkeep and repair of fixed assets such as screw bridges, OSB saws, and FCS saws. Operating fork trucks and Powered Pallet Trucks (PPT) as needed for ManEng operations. Collaborating with fork truck drivers and materials stores personnel to ensure smooth goods movement and accurate deliveries. Conducting quarterly stocktakes of the tool store inventory. Performing an annual tool audit of all tool cabinets on the factory floor. Maintaining meticulous records, including tool check-ins and check-outs, repair requests, irreparable damages, missing tools, and monthly expenditure tracking via purchase order records. Managing the Tool Request Register, including updating and maintaining accurate information, obtaining necessary approvals, notifying section leaders of approved requests, and sourcing new tools for specific procedures. Overseeing the Asset Register by adding new tools, updating asset locations, and recording asset status (returned, damaged, in repair, disposed, in use, off-site). Maintaining the asset calibration register and organising calibration certificates for all tools and test equipment. This includes arranging calibrations and repairs, obtaining quotes, and storing out-of-calibration or damaged tools securely.
Warehouse Team Member, (June 2021 to January 2022) Ensure the smooth running of production by facilitating the timely delivery of materials to the required locations on the factory floor. Manage goods in ensuring quality and quantity are correct. Work with purchasing and procurement teams to quickly resolve any issues or material shortages. Uses of fork trucks and other lifting equipment to ensure the safe movement of heavy materials.
Travis Perkins ∙ Doncaster ∙ 2020 to 2021 Travis Perkins, The UK’s largest builder’s merchant.
Category C (Class 2) Tool Hire Driver, Tool Fitter (June 2020 to June 2021) Ensuring safe transport, delivery and retrieval of Tool Hire equipment and plant, covering everything from 110V hand tools up to three tonne excavators. Working closely with the Tool Hire team to ensure efficient and timely delivery, while making sure to conform with the Working Time Directive and Road Transport Directive. Servicing, cleaning, and repairing of electrical hand tools, petrol driven equipment and small plant up to three tonnes.
ELLIOTT UK ∙ Wakefield ∙ 2004 to 2020 A market leading provider of modular space and portable buildings.
Category C (Class 2) Tanker Driver (October 2019 to June 2020) Plan, coordinate and optimise the emptying of effluent tanks and refilling of water tanks by communicating closely with the transport planners and discussing planned routes with fellow tanker drivers. Maintain a clean wagon and work environment. Perform daily vehicle checks. Logging and reporting of defects, comply with all CPC rules and regulations regarding driving a HGV, maintain an accurate record of daily work activities through the use of tachograph, Comply with all on site health and safety regulations. Uphold the image and ethics of Elliott UK and maintain good communications with the customer base. Swiftly resolve any issues that may arise e.g.: breakdowns, punctures, etc.
Logistics and Inventory Manager (2014 to October 2019) Support routine operation of the warehouse, work with internal departments to troubleshoot and resolve issues. Motivate team members to achieve targets without compromising standards. Manage goods in and goods out of the warehouse, oversee logistics, and log all deliveries. Arrange maintenance and repairs of all electrical equipment and hand tools. Collaborate with the Standardisation team to forecast future material usage. Unload pallet boards, break down products, sort for stocking and dispatch. Made use of forklift trucks, store and handle equipment and materials in line with safety and security requirements. Maintain COSHH data.
Key Accomplishments: Originated a rolling stock take; reduced timescales for completing stock take from 84 hours to 6 hours. Effectively managed inventory to optimise the availability of stock; reduced stock valuation from £380,000 to £130,000. Conceptualised and introduced a secure storage area; improved layout to decrease the movement and handling of stock. Maintained an accurate inventory of stock; enabled effective product orders and business decision making. Formed strong and mutually beneficial relationships with suppliers; resolved issues swiftly and professionally. Communicate with the Support Service team; resolve 60-day service calls. Selected to roll out a two bin Kanban system across multiple stores, inclusive of training staff. Log all hand tools and electrical equipment, making sure all PAT tests and calibration certification are kept up to date.
Electrical Engineer (2012 to 2014) Organised and planned essential services. Directed planned and unplanned maintenance requirements, ensured safe and efficient operation of electrical systems. Examined and tested equipment, machines and tools, delivered technical support to assist the department in the maintenance and refurbishment of equipment. Imparted knowledge to explain technical issues to colleagues. Enforced and adhered to all safety requirements, executed safety tests on equipment, resolved issues, analysed and rectified problems to prevent loss of operations. Prepared and presented technical reports, updated systems and paperwork to retain accurate records.
Key Accomplishments: Contributed significantly to the simplification of test procedures. Successfully executed PAT Portable appliance testing for all electrical equipment; ensured safe operation of all machinery at Elliott Wakefield depot.
Spray Painter (2008 to 2012) Worked individually and as part of a time to prepare surfaces for the application of paint. Conducted external repairs to units and cabins. Maintained painting equipment, PPE, and safety equipment.
Key Accomplishments: Enhanced overall quality of finished product. Completed several projects; consistently met timescales and budgets. Established and maintained good working relationships with suppliers and customers, managed queries and complaints efficiently and effectively.
Maintenance Operative (2004 to 2008) Planned and coordinated maintenance works, organised resources and timescales, monitored and managed work to ensure high standards. Completed risk assessments, prior to, and during projects. Enforced and reviewed site health and safety practices, implemented quality assurance and control procedures and retained appropriate paperwork. Devised and produced accurate records of all materials and labour used, prepared and presented paperwork.
Key Accomplishments: Optimised maintenance strategies, attained safe operations in accordance with company and industry regulations. Represented the organisation as the main point of contact for maintenance projects.
Previous Experience: Order Picker, Ashworth Frazer Machine Operator, Wakefield Timber Education & Training GCSEs, including English and Mathematics Other Skills Software: Citrix, Zoho, Navision, Excel, Outlook, OneNote, Teams, Slack, Dynamics 365 Business Central, LibreOffice, Microsoft, Linux Licences: Category C licence and full CPC. Full car licence Additional: Level one TIG welding

This is a really good read I've picked up from Neon in Nervos Nation TG from a Chinese website and the browser has translated it, seems like a good translation from Brave!!! Please be aware there are a few images that cannot be transferred form this article, but if you're not caring about lines of code or any of the schematics, you can give this a good read regardless.
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Bullish; Heres the link for those that might want to cross reference
https://mirror.xyz/0xB239e7668B6dAF0122166E2De879Da87FF47858C/hkXPFe0uBy2fQNIzjVrL0rMUONj2hTJklaN14Rbguuk
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Foreword

In the fourth round of bitcoin halving cycle, the outbreak of the Ordinals agreement and similar agreements was adopted to make the encryption industry aware of the positive externality of the security and ecological development of the bitcoin master network based on the Bitcoin L1 layer of issued assets and transaction assets. Value is the “Uniswap moment” of Bitcoin ecology.
The programmable evolution and iteration of Bitcoin is the result of market governance in the Bitcoin community, not driven by the theory of Holder of BTC, Builder of block space, etc.
At present, by enhancing the programmability of Bitcoin and increasing the utilization rate of the block space of the main network of Bitcoin, it has become a new design space for the consensus of the Bitcoin community.
Unlike Etai and other high-performance public chains, in order to ensure the simplicity and light quantification of UTXO episodes, the design space for the programmability of bitcoins is highly restricted, and the basic constraints are how to use scripts and OP Code to operate UTXO.
The classic Bitcoin programmable program has a state channel （ Lightning Network ）, customer end verification （RGB）, side chain （Liquid Network, Stacks, RootSock, etc. ）, CounterParty, Omni Layer Asser, TaproC, etc. Emerging bitcoin programmability programs since 2023 include Ordinals, BRC20, Runes, Atomicals, Stamps, etc.
After the end of the second wave of inscriptions, a new generation of bitcoin programmability programs and so on emerged, such as CKB's UTXO co-construct binding program, EVM compatible bitcoin L2 program, DriveChain program, etc.
Compared with the EVM compatible bitcoin L2 scheme, CKB（Common Knowledge Base） The Bitcoin Programmability Program is a native, safe, and non-introducing social trust hypothesis solution in the Bitcoin Programmability Modern Design Space. Compared with the DriveChain plan, it does not require any change in the level of the Bitcoin agreement.
In the foreseeable future, the programmable growth curve of Bitcoin will go through an accelerated growth stage, and the assets, users, and applications of Bitcoin ecology will usher in a massive outbreak of martial arts，The UTXO Stack of the CKB ecology will provide new Bitcoin developers with the ability to build protocols using modular stacks. In addition, CKB is exploring the integration of the lightning network with UTXO Stack, using the original programmability of Bitcoin to achieve interoperability between the new agreements.

Programmable naming space for bitcoin

The block chain is a machine for creating trust, and the main Bitcoin network is the No. 0 machine. Like all philosophy in the West is a footnote to Plato, everything in the encrypted world （ assets, narratives, block chain networks, protocols, DAO, etc. ） are derivatives and derivatives of bitcoin.
In the process of coordinated evolution of Bitcoin Maxi and expansionists, from whether the Bitcoin main network supports Turing’s complete struggle to the dispute between the isolation witness program and the large block expansion plan, Bitcoin is constantly split. This is not only creating new encryption projects and encryption community consensus, but also strengthening and consolidating Bitcoin's own community consensus, which is a process of completing self-identification while others are institutionalized.
Due to the mysterious disappearance of Satoshi Zhong, Bitcoin community governance does not exist in the governance structure of the “ enlightened monarchy ” like Taifang, but is a balanced governance model in open games by miners, developers, communities and markets. This gives Bitcoin a community consensus that once formed and is extremely stable.
The characteristics of the current Bitcoin community consensus are: consensus is not command and control, trust minimization, decentralization, anti-censorship, anonymity, open source, open collaboration, licensing exemption, legal neutrality, homogenization, forward compatibility, resources Use minimization, verification > calculation, convergence, transaction volatility、Resist DoS attacks, avoid scramble entry, robustness, consistent incentives, curing, consensus that should not be tampered with, conflicting principles, collaborative advancement, etc. [1]
The current form of the Bitcoin main network can be regarded as an example of the consensus characteristics of the above Bitcoin community. The programmable design space of Bitcoin is also defined by the consensus characteristics of the Bitcoin community.

Programmable classic design space for bitcoin

When other public chains try to be modular, parallel, etc. to explore the design space where the block chain cannot be a triangular solution, the design space of the bitcoin protocol has always focused on scripts, OP Code, and UTXO.
Two typical examples are the two major upgrades to the Bitcoin main network since 2017, Segwit hard fork and Taproot soft fork.
In August 2017, Segwit bifurcated hard, adding 3M blocks outside the main block of 1M to save the signature （ Witness）, and setting the weight of the signature data as the main block when calculating the miner’s fee 1/4 to maintain consistency in the cost of spending a UTXO output and creating a UTXO output，Prevent the abuse of UTXO to zero to increase the expansion rate of UTXO sets.
In November 2021, Taproot's soft fork was introduced by introducing Schnorr's multiple signature program to save UTXO's verification time and block space occupied by multiple signatures.
UTXO（ The unspent transaction output ） is the basic data structure of the Bitcoin main network, which has atomic, non-homogeneous, and chain-coupled characteristics. Every transaction on the main net of Bitcoin consumes 1 UTXO as input, and creates an integer n new UTXO output. It is generally understood that UTXO can be regarded as a dollar, euro and other banknotes running on the chain. It can cost, change, split, combine, etc., but its minimum atomic unit is Satoshi（sats）. 1 UTXO represents the latest state at a particular time. UTXO episode, which represents the latest state of the Bitcoin main network at a certain time.
By maintaining the simplicity, light quantification, and easy verification of the Bitcoin UTXO episode, the state expansion rate of the Bitcoin main network has successfully stabilized at a level compatible with the hardware Moore law, thereby ensuring the participation of the entire Bitcoin network nodes And the robustness of transaction verification.
Correspondingly, the programmable design space of Bitcoin is also constrained by the consensus characteristics of the Bitcoin community. For example, in order to prevent potential security risks, Satoshi Nakamoto decided to remove the OP-CAT operation code in August 2010, which is the key logic for achieving programmability at the complete level of Bitcoin Turing.
Bitcoin's programmable realization path does not use the virtual machine （VM） scheme in the chain like Taifang and Solana, but chooses to use the script and operation code （OP Code） for UXTO, transaction Input field, output field and witness data （Witness）.
The main toolboxes for programmability of bitcoin are: multiple signatures, time locks, Hash locks, process control （OP_IF, OP_ELIF）. [2]
Under the classic design space, the programmability of bitcoin is very limited. It only supports a few verification procedures, but does not support chain storage and chain calculations, and chain storage and chain calculations are precisely to achieve Turing's complete level programmability. Core functional components.

Programmable Renaissance of Bitcoin

But Bitcoin's programmable design space is not a fixed state. Instead, it is closer to a dynamic spectrum that changes over time.
Unlike the outside world's stereotype that the development of the Bitcoin main network is at a standstill, in the case of various consensus vectors limiting the design space, the development, deployment, adoption, and promotion of the new script and new operation code of the Bitcoin main network are always in progress Times，And at some point even triggered a fork war in the encrypted community （ such as Segwit hard fork ）.
Taking the Bitcoin main net script type with degree change as an example, we can clearly perceive the changes. We can divide the scripts used by the Bitcoin main network output type into three categories: original script pubkey, pubkeyhash, enhanced script multisig, scripthash, witness script witness_v0_keyhash, witness_v0_scripthash, witness_v1_taproot.
From the change trend chart of the entire historical output type of the Bitcoin main network, we observe a basic fact: the programmability enhancement of the Bitcoin main network is a long-term historical trend, enhancing the share of scripts in the original script, and witnessing the script being swallowed The share of the enhanced script. The Ordinals agreement based on Segweit's enhanced script and Taproot's witness script opened a wave of Bitcoin L1 asset issuance, which is both a continuation of the programmable historical trend of the Bitcoin main network and a new stage of programmability of the Bitcoin main network.
The Bitcoin main network operation code also has an evolutionary process similar to the Bitcoin main net script.
For example, the Ordinals agreement is to achieve its functional design by combining the Bitcoin main net script taproot script-path spend and operation code （OP_FALSE, OP_IF, OP_PUSH, OP_ENDIF）.
Before the official birth of the Ordinals agreement, the programmable classic plan of bitcoin mainly has the state channel （ Lightning Network ）, customer verification （RGB）, side chain （Liquid Network, Stacks, RootSock, etc.）, CounterParty, etc.
The Ordinals agreement sequences the smallest atomized unit of UXTO （Satoshi）, and then inserts the data content in the Witness field of UTXO, and is associated with a specific deafness after sequencing, and then the chain indexer is responsible for indexing and Perform programmable operations of these data states. This new bitcoin programmability paradigm is vividly likened to “ Golden Eagle ”.
The new paradigm of the Ordinals agreement has inspired a wider range of encrypted communities to use the Bitcoin main network block space to distribute, cast and trade NFT collections and MeMe-type Token（, which can be collectively referred to as the inscription ）. For the first time in life, you have your own Bitcoin address.
However, the programmability of the Ordinals agreement inherits the limited programmability of Bitcoin and only supports the three functional methods of Deploy, Mint and Transfer. This allows the Ordinals agreement and its followers BRC20, Runes, Atomicals, Stamps, etc. to apply only to the application scenes where assets are issued. Support for DeFi application scenes such as transactions and loans that require state calculation and state storage is relatively weak.
Liquidity is the source of vitality for assets. Due to the natural characteristics of the programmability agreement of the Ordinals type bitcoin, the reissue of the inscription assets and the provision of light liquidity affect the value of the entire life cycle of the inscription assets.
Moreover, the Ordinals and BRC20 agreements are also suspected of misusing the witness data space and objectively causing the explosion of the main network of Bitcoin.
As a reference system, the main sources of the Pacific Master Network Gas fee are DEX transaction Gas fee, L2 data availability fee, and stable currency transfer Gas fee. Compared with the Taifang main network, the income type of the Bitcoin main network is single, cyclical, and the volatility rate is large.
The programmability of the Bitcoin main network cannot yet meet the demand for the space supply side of the Bitcoin main network block. To achieve a stable and sustainable block space income state with the Pacific Master Network, the original DEX, stable currency and L2 of the Bitcoin ecology are required. The prerequisite for the realization of these agreements and applications is that Bitcoin programmable agreements need to provide Turing's complete programming capabilities.
Therefore, how to achieve the complete programmability of Bitcoin Turing in its original place, while constraining the negative impact on the size of the Bitcoin main network, has become a current manifestation of Bitcoin ecology.

Bitcoin programmable CKB scheme

At present, the complete programmable programs for the original Turing of Bitcoin are: BitVM, RGB, CKB, EVM compatible with Rollup L2, DriveChain, etc.
BitVM uses a group of OP Code in Bitcoin to build and non-logical doors, and then builds other basic logical doors with non-logical doors. Eventually, these basic logical gate circuits construct a VM native to Bitcoin. This principle is somewhat similar to the array of the Qin king of the famous science fiction novel 《 Tripartite 》. There are specific scenes in the TV series of the same name adapted by Netflix. The paper of the BitVM program has been completely open source, and is highly expected by the encrypted community. However, its engineering implementation is very difficult. It is difficult to land in the short term when it encounters problems such as data management costs under the chain, the number of participants, challenges-response interactions, and the complexity of the Hash function.
The RGB protocol uses customer end verification and one-time sealing technology to achieve the complete programmability of Turing. The core design idea is to store the status and logic of the smart contract in the output of the bitcoin transaction （Transaction）On the implementation of the maintenance and data storage of the smart contract code under the chain，The main network of bitcoins serves as the commitment layer of the final state.
EVM compatible with Rollup L2 is a quick plan to rebuild Bitcoin L2 with a mature Rollup L2 stack. However, given that the Bitcoin main network is currently unable to support fraud certification/validity certification, Rollup L2 needs to introduce the social trust assumption （ over-sign ）.
DriveChain is a side chain expansion plan. The basic design idea is to use Bitcoin as the bottom layer of the block chain, and to create side chains by locking Bitcoin to achieve two-way interoperability between Bitcoin and side chains. The realization of the DriveChain project requires agreement-level changes to Bitcoin, which will deploy the BIP300 and BIP301 proposed by the development team to the main network.
The above Bitcoin programmability plan is either extremely difficult to land in the short term, or introduces too many social trust assumptions, or requires agreement-level changes to Bitcoin.

Bitcoin L1 Asset Agreement: RGB++

In response to the shortcomings and problems of the programmability agreement in Bitcoin above, the CKB team gave a relatively balanced solution. The solution consists of Bitcoin L1 asset agreement RGB++, Bitcoin L2 Raas service provider UTXO Stack and interoperability agreement integrated with the lightning network.
Original language of UXTO: tied to the same organization
RGB++ is a bitcoin L1 asset issuance agreement based on RGB design ideas. The project of RGB++ was realized, while inheriting the technical original words of CKB and RBG. It uses RGB's “ one-time seal ” and customer end verification technology, and at the same time tied up the UTXO（ expanded version of Cell） that maps Bitcoin UTXO to the CKB main network, and uses CKB and Bitcoin chains Script constraints to verify the accuracy of status calculations and the validity of ownership changes.
In other words, RGB++ uses Cell on the CKB chain to express the ownership relationship of RGB assets. It moves the asset data originally stored at the end of the RGB customer to the CKB chain and expresses it in the form of Cell. It establishes a mapping relationship with Bitcoin UTXO, allowing CKB to act as an open database and chain of RGB assets. Settlement layer, replacing RGB client，Achieve more reliable data hosting and RGB contract interaction.
Cell is the basic data storage unit of CKB and can contain various data types, such as CKBytes, tokens, TypeScript codes or sequencing data （ such as the JSON string ）. Each Cell contains a small program called Lock Script, which defines the owner of Cell. Lock Script not only supports the scripts of the Bitcoin main network, such as multiple signatures, Hash locks, time locks, etc., but also allows a Type Script to enforce specific rules to control its use. This allows developers to customize smart contracts according to different usages, such as issuing NFT, airdropping tokens, AMM Swap, etc.
The RGB protocol adds the root of the transaction under the chain to a UTXO'output by using the OP RETURN operating code, and uses UTXO as a container of status information. Then, RGB++ map this state information container constructed by RGB to Cell in CKB, keep the state information in Cell's type and data, and use this container UTXO as the Cell state owner.
As shown in the figure above, a complete RGB++ transaction life cycle is as follows：

1. Calculation under the chain. When initiating a Tx bound by the same configuration, first choose a new UTXO btc_utxo#2 of the Bitcoin main network as a one-time sealed container, and then bind the UTXO btc_utxo#1 of the original Cell co-construct under the chain Btc_utxo#2、Using the original Cell as a CKB TX to enter the new Cel as an output to perform Hashi calculations to generate a commitment.
2. Submit Bitcoin transactions. RGB++ initiated a Tx of the main bitcoin network, which will use btc_utxo#1 bound to the original Cell co-organizer as an input, and use OP RETURN to use the promise generated in the previous step as an output.
3. Submit CKB transactions. CKB Tx calculated and generated under the chain before the execution of the CKB main network.
4. Verify on the chain. The CKB main network runs a Bitcoin main network light client to verify the state change of the entire system. This is very different from RGB. The P2P mechanism used in the verification of RGB's status change requires that the initiator of Tx and the receiver be online at the same time and only interactively verify the relevant TX spectrum.

Based on the above-mentioned tied logic to achieve RGB++, compared with the RGB agreement, while allowing part of the privacy, some new features were obtained: enhanced customer end verification of block chains, transaction folding, no ownership contract Shared status and non-interactive transfer.

• Customer end verification with enhanced blockchain. RGB++ allows users to choose to use PoW to maintain consensus security CKB verification status calculations and URXO-Cell ownership changes.
• Trading folding. RGB++ supports the mapping of multiple Cells to a single UTXO, thereby achieving the elastic expansion of RGB++.
• Unowned smart contracts and shared status. A major difficulty in achieving a complete intelligent contract for Turing in the UTXO state data structure is the unowned intelligent contract and shared state. RGB++ can use CKB's overall state Cell and Cell of Intent to solve this problem.
• Non-interactive transfer. RGB++ turns RGB’s client verification process into an option, and no longer requires interactive transfers. If the user chooses CKB verification status calculation and ownership change, the interactive experience of the transaction is consistent with the Bitcoin main network.

In addition, RGB++ also inherited the state space privatization characteristics of CKB main network Cell. In addition to paying the miner's fees for using Bitcoin main network block space, each TX also needs to pay for leasing Cell status space. The cost + this part of the cost returns to + after Cell consumption. Cell's state space privatization is a defense mechanism invented by CKB to deal with the explosion of the block chain main network. The leasers of Cell state space need to pay continuously during their use （ in the form of CKB circulation tokens inflation Value ）. This makes the RGB++ agreement a responsible programmable expansion agreement for the main network of Bitcoin, which can limit the abuse of the block space of the main network of Bitcoin to a certain extent.
To trust L1<>L2 interoperability: Leap
The tied tie of the same structure of RGB++ is a common logic for the realization of a common atom, which either occurs at the same time or flips at the same time without intermediate states. All RGB++ transactions will appear simultaneously on the BTC and CKB chains. The former is compatible with the transactions of the RGB agreement, while the latter replaces the process of customer end verification. The user only needs to check the relevant transactions on the CKB to verify whether the calculation of the status of the RGB++ transaction is correct. However, users may also use the transaction on the CKB chain as the verification basis, and use the local Tx map of UTXO to independently verify the RGB++ transaction. （Part of the functions such as transaction folding still need to rely on CKB block Hashi for anti-double flower verification ）
Therefore, the asset cross-chain between RGB++ and the CKB main network does not rely on the introduction of additional social trust assumptions, such as the relay layer of the cross-chain bridge, the centralized multi-sign vault of EVM compatible Rollup, etc. RGB++ Assets can be transferred from the Bitcoin main network to the CKB main network, or from the CKB main network to the Bitcoin main network. CKB calls this cross-chain workflow Leap.
RGB++ and CKB are loosely coupled. In addition to the assets supporting the Bitcoin L 1st floor （ are not limited to the original assets of the RGB++ agreement, including assets issued by Runes, Atomicals, Taproot Asset and other agreements ）Leap to CKB, RGB++The other support Leap to Cardan. At the same time, RGB++ also supports Bitcoin L2 assets Leap to Bitcoin main network.
Examples of extended functions and applications of RGB++
The RGB++ agreement originally supported the issuance of homogenized tokens and NFT.
The homogenized token standard of RGB++ is xUDT, and the NFT standard is Spore.
The xUDT standard supports a variety of homogenized tokens issuance methods, including but not limited to centralized distribution, airdrops, subscriptions, etc. The total amount of tokens can also be selected between the upper limit and the upper limit. For the tokens with a preset upper limit, a status sharing scheme can be used to verify whether the total number of each issuance is less than or equal to the preset upper limit.
Spore in the NFT standard will store all metadata on the chain, achieving 100% data availability security. Assets issued by the Spore Agreement DOB（Digital Object, digital object）, similar to Ordinals NFT, but with richer characteristics and play methods.
As a customer verification agreement, the RGB protocol naturally supports state channels and lightning networks, but is limited by the ability to calculate the script of Bitcoin, it is very difficult to bring assets other than BTC into the lightning network. However, the RGB++ protocol can use CKB's Turing Complete Script System to realize the status channel and lightning network of CKB-based RGB++ assets.
With the above standards and functions, the RGB++ agreement is not limited to simple asset issuance scenarios like other Bitcoin host network programmable agreements, but supports complex applications such as asset transactions, asset lending, and CDP stabilizer coins. For example, RGB++ combined with the tied logic of the Bitcoin main network, the PSBT script can realize a DEX form of order book grid.

Bitcoin L2 RaaS service provider: UTXO Stack

UTXO is the same as Bitcoin L2 Vs EVM compatible Bitcoin Rollup L2
In the market competition for the programmatic realization of Bitcoin in Turing, DriveChain and the restoration of OPCAT operating codes and other programs require very large uncertainties and unpredictability due to changes in the Bitcoin agreement layer， UTXO compatible with Bitcoin L2 and EVM in the realist route is more recognized by developers and capital. UTXO is also composed of Bitcoin L2, represented by CKB. EVM is compatible with Bitcoin Rollup L2, represented by Merlin Chain and BOB.
To be practical, the Bitcoin L1 asset issuance agreement has just begun to form a local consensus in the Bitcoin community, and the community consensus of Bitcoin L2 is at an earlier stage. But in this frontier area, 《 Bitcoin magazine 》 and Pantera have tried to set the definition range for Bitcoin L2 by drawing on the conceptual structure of Taifang L2.
In their eyes, Bitcoin L2 should have the following three characteristics：

• Use bitcoin as a native asset. Bitcoin L2 must use Bitcoin as its main settlement asset.
• Use bitcoin as a settlement mechanism to enforce transactions. Users of Bitcoin L2 must be able to force their return to their first-tier asset control （ credible or untrustworthy ）.
• Demonstrate functional dependence on bitcoin. If the Bitcoin main network fails but the Bitcoin L2 system is still operational, then the system is not L2 of Bitcoin. [4]

In other words, they believe that Bitcoin L2 should have data availability verification based on the Bitcoin main network, escape cabin mechanism, BTC as Bitcoin L2 Gas tokens, etc. In this way, in their subconscious mind, the EVM compatible L2 paradigm was used as the standard template for Bitcoin L2.
However, the weak state calculation and verification capabilities of the Bitcoin main network cannot achieve Feature 1 and Feature 2 in the short term. In this case, EVM compatible L2 is a chain expansion plan that is completely dependent on social trust assumptions，Although they are writing in white papers that future integration of BitVM for data availability verification and joint mining with the Bitcoin main network enhances safety.
Of course, this does not mean that these EVM compatibility Rollup L2 is fake Bitcoin L2, but that they do not strike a good balance between security, distrust and scalability. Moreover, the Bitcoin ecology introduces a complete solution with the Turing of Taifang, which is easily regarded by Bitcoin Maxi as appeasement for the expansionist route.
Therefore, UTXO and Bitcoin L2 are naturally superior to EVM compatible Rollup L2 in terms of orthodox and Bitcoin community consensus.
Characteristics of UTXO Stack: Fractal Bitcoin Main Network
If the Episcopal L2 is based on the fractal of the Taifang, then the Bitcoin L2 should be the fractal of Bitcoin.
The UTXO Stack of the CKB ecology activates UTXO bitcoin L2 for the developer's key and originally integrates the RGB++ protocol capability. This allows seamless interoperability between the Bitcoin main network and UTXO developed using UTXO Stack and Bitcoin L2. UTXO Stack supports the pledge of BTC, CKB and BTC L1 assets to ensure the safety of UTXO co-constructor Bitcoin L2.
UTXO Stack currently supports the free flow and interoperability of RGB++ assets between the Bitcoin Lightning Network-CKB Lightning Network-UTXO Stack parallel L2s. In addition, UTXO Stack also supports Runes, Atomicals, Taproot Asset, Stamps and other UTXO-based Bitcoin L1 programmability protocol assets to flow freely and interoperate between UTXO Stack parallel L2s-CKB Lightning Network-Bitcoin Lightning Network.
UTXO Stack introduced the modular paradigm into the construction field of Bitcoin L2, and cleverly bypassed the calculation of the Bitcoin main network status and the verification of data availability with the tie of the same structure. In this modular stack, the role of Bitcoin is the consensus layer and the settlement layer. The role of CKB is the data availability layer, while the roles of UTXO Stack parallel L2 are the execution layer.

Bitcoin's programmable growth curve and CKB's future

Bitcoin's programmable growth curve and CKB's future

In fact, there is an inherent tension between Bitcoin’s digital gold narrative and Bitcoin’s programmable narrative. Some OGs in the Bitcoin community regard the Bitcoin L1 programmable agreement that has emerged since 23 years as a new round of Bitcoin main network. Dust attack boom. To some extent, the saliva war between the core developer of Bitcoin, Luke, and the fans of BRC20, is the third world war between Bitcoin maxi and the expanders following the battle for the completeness of Turing and the block.
But there is actually another perspective that regards bitcoin as APP Chain for digital gold. From this perspective, it is the positioning of the bottom layer of digital gold to centralize the ledger, which shapes the shape of the current Bitcoin main network UTXO set and the characteristics of programmable protocols. But if I remember correctly, Satoshi Nakamoto's vision is to make Bitcoin a P2P electronic currency. The demand for programmability in digital gold is safes and vaults, and the demand for programmability in currency is the central bank-commercial bank circulation network. Therefore, the programmability enhancement agreement of Bitcoin is not an outrageous behavior, but a return to the vision of Satoshi Nakamoto.
Drawing on Gartner Hype Cycle's research method, we can divide the Bitcoin programmability programs into 5 stages

• Technology budding period: DriveChain, UTXO Stack, BitVM, etc.
• Expected expansion period: Runes, RGB++, EVM Rollup bitcoin L2, etc.
• Foam burst period: BRC20, Atomicals, etc.
• Steady recovery period: RGB, lightning network, bitcoin side chain, etc.
• Mature plateau period: bitcoin script, Taproot script, Hash time lock, etc.

The future of CKB: OP Stack+Eigenlayer

Whether it is EVM compatible with Bitcoin Rollup L2, UTXO co-constructor Bitcoin L2, or Drive Chain and other new paradigms, Turing’s complete programmable implementation of various programs ultimately points to the Bitcoin main network as a consensus and settlement layer.
Just as the evolution of convergence has occurred repeatedly in nature, it can be expected that the trend of the complete and programmable development of the Bitcoin eco-turing will show a certain degree of consistency with the Episcopal ecology in some respects. But this consistency will not simply be based on Taifang's technology stack to Bitcoin ecology, but on the use of Bitcoin's original technology stack （ programmability based on UTXO ） to achieve a similar ecological structure.
CKB's UTXO Stack is very similar to Optimism's OP Stack positioning. OP Stack maintains strong equivalence and consistency with the Israel-Pacific main network at the executive level, and UTXO Stack maintains strong equivalence with the Bitcoin main network at the executive level. And consistency. At the same time, UTXO Stack, like the OP Stack structure, is a parallel structure.
In the future, UTXO Stack will introduce RaaS services such as shared servers, shared security, shared liquidity, and shared verification sets to further reduce the cost and difficulty of developers to start UTXO co-constructor Bitcoin L2. At present, there are a large number of projects such as the Decentralized Stabilization Coin Agreement, AMM DEX, Borrowing Agreement, and Autonomous World. It is planned to use UTXO Stack to build UTXO co-constructor Bitcoin L2 as its bottom consensus infrastructure.
Unlike other Bitcoin security abstract agreements, the CKB's consensus mechanism is a PoW consensus mechanism consistent with the Bitcoin main network, and the machine algorithm maintains the consistency of the consensus ledger. But there is some difference between CKB's tokens economics and Bitcoin. In order to maintain the consistency of block space production and consumption behavior incentives, Bitcoin chose to introduce weights and vByte mechanism to calculate state space usage fees, and CKB chose to privatize state space.
CKB's tokens economics consists of two parts: basic distribution and secondary distribution. All CKBs issued on a basic basis are fully rewarded to miners. The purpose of CKB issued in the second level is to collect state rent. The specific distribution ratio of the issued in the second level depends on the current way in which CKBs are used in the network.
For example, suppose that 50% of all circulating CKBs are used for storage, 30% are locked in NervosDAO, and 20% are fully mobile. Then, 50% of （ issued in the second level, that is, the rent of the storage state ）, will be allocated to miners, 30% will be allocated to NervosDAO depositors, and the remaining 20% will be allocated to the Treasury Fund.
This tokens economic model can constrain overall growth, coordinate the interests of different network participants （ including users, miners, developers, and tokens holders ）, and create an incentive structure that is beneficial to everyone. This is different from other L1 situations in the market.
In addition, CKB allows a single Cell to occupy a maximum state space of 1,000 bytes, which gives the NFT assets on the CKB some other block chain similar assets that do not have strange characteristics, such as the original portability of Gas fees, the programmability of state space, etc. These bizarre characteristics make UTXO Stack very suitable for building digital physical reality for the infrastructure of autonomous world projects.
UTXO Stack allows Bitcoin L2 developers to use BTC, CKB, and other Bitcoin L1 asset pledges to participate in their network consensus.
Summary
It is inevitable that Bitcoin will develop to the stage of Turing's complete programmable program. But Turing’s complete programmability will not happen to the Bitcoin main network, but under the chain （RGB, BitVM） or Bitcoin L2 （CKB, EVM Rollup, DriveChain）.
According to historical experience, one of these agreements will eventually develop into a monopolistic standard agreement.
There are two key factors that determine the competitiveness of Bitcoin programmable agreements: 1. Realization of BTC's free flow between L1<>L2 without relying on additional social trust assumptions; 2. Attract developers, funds and users of sufficient scale into their L2 ecology.
As a programmable solution for bitcoin, CKB has used the co-constructed binding +CKB network to replace the customer verification solution to achieve the free flow of Bitcoin L1 assets between L1<>L2, and Does not rely on additional social trust assumptions. Moreover, the benefit is in the spatial privatization characteristics of CKB Cell, and RBG++ does not bring pressure to the Bitcoin main network to explode like other Bitcoin programmability agreements.
Recently, through RGB++~ the first batch of asset releases, the ecological thermal start was initially completed, and the new users and a group of new developers were 150,000 new users for the CKB ecological success OnB. For example, OpenStamp, a one-stop solution for Stamps ecology in Bitcoin L1, has chosen to use UTXO Stack to construct UTXOs serving Stamps ecology and Bitcoin L2.
In the next stage, CKB will focus on ecological application construction, realizing BTC's free flow between L1<>L2, and integrating lightning networks, and strive to become a programmable layer of future bitcoins.
[1] What are the Key Properties of Bitcoin?
[2] Programmability of bitcoin
[3] ABCDE: Why should we invest in UTXO Stack
[4] LAYER 2 IS NOT A MAGIC INCANTATION
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1st
When I was still in college I had a dream where I was in a subway station, looking professional and all. It felt like I was waiting for the train but have no idea where it was, the train stopped and when it opened everything slow-mo'd and everything was blurry, a guy walked towards me but I don't really recognized his face completely but in my mind I know I am looking at a guy with thick bushy brows, with an average height and with a skin that's glowing, he has this chubby figure but it was more like a shadow and a black hair, like his hair is as bushy as his eyebrows. We then started walking but everything was still slow-mo'd. I just know I was with that guy and that we knew each other. Everything was like my life flashing towards me it will pause in a moment but with me being with him and being inlove and everything. When I woke up I keep thinking who he was and do I know anyone that looked like him? but no. So as I grew old I didn't really let it bother me or made it a big deal cause It was just a dream and at that time I'm not really a believer of destiny and anything of sorts. But it felt so real.
2nd
Skip to when I was in my early 20's, have 2 kids and is a working single mom, Everything started when I was walking in the halls at the office with my friend Annie, then suddenly someone walked by us and they did a little handshake, I was surprised because I didn't know that they knew each other. Little did Annie know I already saw him walking towards us from afar and I don't know what's with that guy but suddenly he went slow-mo, like he was walking towards us but every single thing besides him is blurry and fast paced like everything was fast forwarded except him then everything went normal when he handshaked Annie, I thought to myself "luh! Pogi". I didn't really made it a big deal because I don't usually acknowledge those kinds of feelings towards some guy I just saw, I didn't even bother asking Annie anything about him.
3rd
When I get off work I usually come with my friends' boarding house because we always get off work early in the morning, so usually I come with my friends/co-workers' boarding house to rest and smoke cigars. One friend of mine his name was Jason asked if I want something from the store cause he was going to buy something, I was hungry and out of cigarettes that time so I just came with Jason. We didn't really bother to look at other people when going to places like that so we were surprised when someone called out his name "Jason!" He said it was loud so I looked, and then I saw him, again. He was smiling so brightly, so happily, so cute actually. My friend Jason said "tara tambay". He waa eating that time so he can't answer verbally he just nodded, so I expected he doesn't smoke and he doesn't want to "tambay" and again I didn't made that a big deal even though I just saw him last nights shift. We came back in the smoking area and sat for a while then, there he is again, smiling so brightly that his eyes were like sparkling with happiness. He then sat down at the big water pipe at my back while I was lying in my friend Jasons leg. He then started talking to us and teasing me, he said I look like I have 5 children and that I looked like I'm in my 30's I was just laughing at him because he was new in the group so I didn't mind him teasing me and touching my things, he even tugged my ID just to look at my card cause I have a "Hunter X Hunter" Hunters Card at the back and he told me "ah mahilig ka sa anime?" I said "hindi masyado, HxH lang tska Naruto" then he took out his phone and started playing a song from "the 1975", that is my favourite band so I sang along with the music and he saw me singin cause he was too and said "ay mahilig ka din sa the 19..?" I didn't even let him finish his sentence I said "YES!!!" Immediately, then every single song he plays I'd follow and sing he was so shook because I sang along everytime, even the songs that people that don't usually know I'd still sing along with it. Then, It was time to go, He asked me what my name was and he even slipped a joke about my name even if I was walking away from them. Still, I didn't make it a big deal even though he was so focused on teasing and looking at me.
4th
I got to work, opened my PC and my tools. Suddenly a notification popped, someone chatted me from Teams. It was an unfamiliar name so I took a look at the photo first before replying. IT. WAS. HIM. he said "ang hirap hanapin ng pangalan mo ha?" I laughed so hard because my name is DOMINIQUE and he said knows my name but he already tried every single letter that sounded right. I was actually glad I gave him a hard time looking for me in Teams because it means he is making extra effort to communicate with me. He then asked me if I drink coffee I said "black please" he immediately said "sige, wait" he told me he wants to smoke before shift so he said let's exchange, he then told me to come out from our production floor cause he's already there. I came out and gave him the smoke and he then proceeded to giving me the coffee he bought for me I smiled and said "thank youuuuu" and very quickly and quietly he responded with "ok" with his tone almost cracking. I smiled while looking at the cup at my desk, remembering how nervous he was when he saw me. We then talked non-stop, literally. If he's going to have his break I'm required to join him even when we are going to have our lunch, I adjust because I can have my lunch break anytime so we follow his schedule. We continued talking, even on facebook. He asked for my fb name, I said "wag na, magsisisi ka lang. May mga anak na ko" I was nervous to give him my fb name because we were having so much fun and I don't want it to change because he doesn't want to have any issues with anyone, he replied "fb ba ng anak mo tinatanong ko?" I was so surprised he wasn't even bothered with it so I thought maybe this is not actually a big deal for him. So, I gave him my name eventually then told him "okay lang kung ayaw mo na makipag usap, I'll understand" but he told me to relax and not make it a big deal, and he doesn't really mind.
5th
My friends and I decided to drink after shift so we went to our usual spot near our office. At this point we were already talking to each other even outside work so I was talking to him while we were drinking and everything. I got drunk and slept in my friends house so I didn't went home even though I have a shift that night. I just said "bahala na". So my friend and I went to the boarding house he used to live because some of his things were still there. I was hoping and praying not to see him there because he might judge me and say that I'm still wearing the same shirt when I went to work last night. So I was hoping not to see him there, then we were getting close to the boarding house when I saw a shadow, standing like he was waiting for something. IT WAS HIM. I panicked but still walked to him and told him I need to go to the mall to buy a shirt so I don't look stupid wearing the same outfit I was wearing last night, he said "sayang lang pera mo, teka lang" he then walked and went up to his room. I waited downstairs and told my friend to just go without me cause I'm waiting for someone. He came back and handed me his shirt and told me "ayan, magpalit ka sa CR at sabay na tayong pumasok" that's when I realized we have been seeing each other without planning and I just thought to myself "destiny". Is it really? What is happening to me? I just got off of a 5 year relationship, I can't be falling for someone this sudden.
6th
After everything we talked every single day, every hour, every minute. He then told me he has a crush on me, long before we even met each other. He has been asking my co-workers about my name and everything about me. He asked my friend Annie about me long before sighting him at the halls, long before having breakfast together, long before hanging with him at the smoking are and long before talking to him. He was there all along, he has been searching for me all along, then he told me "mas okay nang sabihin ko ngayon na crush kita, kesa magregret lang ako later" we have been obsessed with each other since then. We decided to live together after a month and we both never regret anything. It just felt right, everything just felt right with him. Since then I have already met almost everyone in his family tree, we went to weddings together, birthdays together, had family events together. I knew then and there, we were meant for each other, we have found what we were searching for for a long time. We were meant to meet eventually. He randomly tells me stories that starts with "naniniwala na talaga ako sa destiny...". He never made me feel unsecured, he was always there to protect me from everything.
7th
We now have a 7 month old preemie baby and mind you, he is also a preemie when his mom gave birth to him with the same reason as mine, being "gala-era" even on my 8th month of pregnancy. His mom also has 2 kids before his mom and dad met and married and had 4 more kids. Which is a coincidence maybe, but his mom also has a girl and a boy before meeting his dad, I also have 2 kids, a girl and a boy before meeting him. I have a bump on my right underarm (this might be irrelevant) he says his mom also has one but on the right knee. We also have moles that are on the same spots hahaha a bit weird but yeah. Our entire relationships just fits to each others pasts or present lives and I know this will get even weirder as we grow old together and I can't wait for that time.
You'll just know that he is the one, my twin flame, the guy in my dream, the one that made me feel so real and that a love like that actually exists. We are in a different city now, together. With our son along with my kids that became our kids. Working hard to have the future we both planned for our children and for us two. We stay in love even in the hardest of times. We always end up inlove even after every fight we fought. We are not a perfect couple but like they say "If you love someone, fight for that love" never let go. You'll just know he's the one when everything feels right with him.

Owning a business is a thrilling ride, but financial roadblocks can sometimes slow you down. Especially if your Credit Information Bureau (CIBIL) score is less than ideal, securing a business loan can feel like an uphill battle. However, don't lose hope! This blog empowers you with the knowledge of essential documents to prepare for a business loan application, even with a low CIBIL score.
Understanding the Importance of Documents
While a low CIBIL score might raise a red flag for lenders, strong supporting documents can showcase your business's potential and strengthen your loan application. These documents provide a comprehensive picture of your business's health, increasing the lender's confidence in your ability to repay the loan.
Crucial Documents for Your Business Loan for low CIBIL score Application :

• Business KYC Documents:
  • Company Registration Proof: This could be a Certificate of Incorporation, Partnership Deed, or Shop and Establishment Certificate, depending on your business structure.
  • PAN Card: A copy of the PAN Card for your company/firm/individual.
• Identity & Address Proof:
  • Identity Proof for Directors/Partners/Guarantors: This could include Aadhaar Card, Passport, Voter ID Card, or Driving License for all directors, partners, and guarantors involved in the business.
  • Address Proof: Documents like Aadhaar Card, Passport, Voter ID Card, Driving License, or utility bills (electricity bill, water bill) can serve as address proof for your business and key personnel.

Financial Documents: Building Trust Beyond CIBIL
A low CIBIL score can be mitigated by presenting strong financial documents that demonstrate your business's stability and potential for growth. Here's what to include:

• Audited Financials (Last 3 Years - If Applicable): If your business has been operational for 3 years or more, submit audited balance sheets, profit and loss statements, and tax audit reports. These documents provide a clear picture of your past financial performance.
• Provisional Financials (For New Businesses): If your business is relatively new (less than 3 years old), submit provisional financials along with VAT returns. Project future financial performance through well-structured financial projections.
• Bank Statements (Latest 6-12 Months): Provide bank statements for your business account covering the past 6 months (minimum) or 12 months (for takeover proposals). If you have multiple bank accounts, ensure statements cover at least 75% of your business turnover. Consistent and healthy cash flow reflected in your bank statements strengthens your application.

Supplementary Documents to Bolster Your Case:
Beyond the core documents, consider including these to further showcase your creditworthiness:

• Business Plan (For New Businesses or Loan Purpose Specific): A well-crafted business plan outlining your venture's goals, strategies, and financial projections demonstrates a clear vision for the future and responsible financial planning.
• Security Documents (If Applicable): If you're applying for a loan secured by property or assets, include ownership certificates and no-objection certificates (NOCs) for the collateral. This can improve your chances of loan approval, especially with a lower CIBIL score.
• Purchase Orders/Contracts (For Specific Loan Purposes): If your loan is to finance a specific purchase (equipment, inventory), include relevant purchase orders or contracts. This demonstrates a concrete use for the loan funds.

Additional Tips for Success with a Low CIBIL Score:

• Explain Loan Purpose Clearly: Clearly articulate the purpose of your loan and how the funds will be utilized. This demonstrates responsible financial planning.
• Maintain Transparency: Be upfront about your CIBIL score and explain any mitigating factors that might have led to a lower score. Honesty builds trust with the lender.
• Consider a Guarantor: Having a guarantor with a strong credit score can significantly improve your chances of loan approval, especially with a low CIBIL score.
• Explore Alternative Lenders: Don't limit yourself to traditional banks. Research alternative lenders who might be more flexible with credit score requirements for businesses with strong potential.

Conclusion
Even with a low CIBIL score, securing a business loan is possible. By gathering the essential documents highlighted in this blog, showcasing your business's financial health, and presenting a compelling case, you can increase your chances of loan approval. Remember, a well-prepared application with strong supporting documents paves the way for securing the financial boost your business needs to thrive. So, don't be discouraged, gather your documents, tell your business story, and embark on your journey to securing the perfect loan!

TW: mention of drug use/talk, alcohol use, SA, physical abuse, self harm; cutting, razors
I’ve never posted anything about this before, and have never discussed my trauma in detail outside of therapy, so this might be long.
Some context/backstory: This happened years ago, starting when I was 19, off and on up until I was 22. I’m AFAB and at the time I Identified as female. For the sake of avoiding confusion I’ll be referring to myself using she/her pronouns, however I use He/Him pronouns now. My abuser (let’s call him Eric) was the same age(s) as me.
Our “relationship” was complicated. He was in a long term relationship with another girl, and I (having extensive trauma prior to meeting Eric) refused to commit to anyone at all by that point.. so we kept it on the DL (and no, at the time I didn’t care that he was dating someone. Only that he was attractive, so I pursued him.)
We were volatile to say the least. Jumping at any opportunity to scream, argue, throw things, and even put hands on each other. It was all foreplay to what the foundation of our relationship was really built on; sex. We both regularly picked fights almost every time we hung out just to segue into long aggressive “sessions”. It was plain to both of us that we were using each other as a destructive and aggressive outlet for our own past traumas. We knew what it was. But seeing as we both partied hard (Coke, weed, molly, and alcohol mostly), and didn’t ask prying questions about each other, it was a match made in hell and clearly destined for disaster.
I want to specifically say that during this time in my life I felt completely numb and dead inside. I was using coke to feel alive, drowning the nasty thoughts late at night with liquor, and self harming (cutting) daily to “manage” the war in my head.
I was the party girl, the one who demanded attention and flirted with everyone. I was invited to most parties and kickbacks because I was a social chameleon (masking) and got along well with anyone.
The only time I felt alive was when I was using with Eric. We would buy a couple 8 balls and go through it all in a weekend. When I eventually decided to quit, Eric was pissed and unsupportive to say the least. He regularly bought more, and pressured me -often times until I gave in- because that was when we both really “let go” and got into kinkier things.
The night our situationship ended was one of the nights where I adamantly refused to get high.
Eric was having a small party, and his girlfriend was out of town, so naturally I took my place by his side. I was drinking and having a good time just buzzing around from group to group, but he kept pressing and pressuring me to do some lines with him and his guy friends. First of all, I had never met these friends. Secondly, I was trying to stop using as it was, I didn’t like to get high around other people if they weren’t close friends, LET ALONE people I didn’t know. So I refused, and things escalated to where we were yelling at each other and causing a scene. He took my phone, so it then escalated even more to where we were SCREAMING at one another. He yelled for everyone to leave and I thought at this point we would either fight or fuck our way back into an agreeable place.
I was drunk enough to not be able to drive, or even entertain the idea of a dramatic exit. I had also planned on spending the night partying pretty hard and sleeping over, so I was dropped off and effectively stranded without my phone. I wasn’t drunk enough to forget though.
When Eric announced that everyone needed to leave, I stormed away, went into his room, and waited for him to come in so we could finish this. I waited and waited until finally Eric came into the room holding a rolling tray with A LOT of coke on it, accompanied by three of the men he was trying to get me to party with earlier in the evening. He said to me that he wasn’t asking, he was TELLING me I was going to get high with them. I was terrified, so I railed the fat line he made for me. The four of them then did their lines. After that, Eric told me to take my clothes off. All of the anger and confidence I had died away the second he confirmed my suspicions. I just melted and started crying and begging him to stop this and to just give me my phone back. Instead he walked toward me, and I walked backwards away from them until I was pressed against the far wall. He grabbed me, and they all ripped my clothes off. I was tied to his workout equipment on the wall standing with my arms tied above my head. At first they were just standing around me, describing the things they liked about my face and my body and how they were going to hurt me. They were telling me awful things about myself. They little amount I HAD opened up to Eric over the years was weaponized and twisted and used to degrade me. I was sobbing before they even started. They hit me and slapped me and then they took turns using me. I was moved to his bed, and forced to do more lines with them before they continued. At some point Eric grabbed a razor blade and dragged it across my back several times (we had experimented with knife/blood play in the past that ended with disastrous results, and we never tried it again). When I cried out one of them slapped me in my thigh where I had self harmed. They mocked me and made fun of me for hurting myself. They made it seem like this was something I was used to and even enjoyed. They made me tell them I did enjoy it. They made me say a lot of things.
The absolute worst part for me though, was that I had an orgasm. I had never felt more disgusted with myself than in that moment. I felt utterly betrayed by my own body. I can’t even begin to describe the pain and turmoil that I felt. I couldn’t even rely on myself. I truly wanted to die. And worse, when I finished, they all laughed at me. The second it happened they paused and just laughed at me. As if it confirmed to them that I actually WAS enjoying myself like the twisted slut they said I was all along.
I don’t know how long I was in the room. It carried on like that for awhile I think, moving me around, mocking me, making me do even more coke. At one point they forced me to look at myself in Eric’s bedroom mirror and repeat what they said while they used me. After forever had passed, the 3 friends left and I was alone with Eric. I saw his feet across the room by his closet, but I wouldn’t look at him anymore than that. I don’t know why, but he said nothing. I said nothing too. I just kind of laid there collecting myself in silence. After a while he just up and left too. Nothing ever said. No explanation or even acknowledgment of what had just happened. Eventually I got up, threw on clothes I found in his closet and walked out. My phone was out in the livingroom on the table, and I remember thinking to myself that it was positioned almost mockingly close to the front door this entire time. I walked about a half mile away until I was at my old elementary school and then called as many people as I could until someone woke up and came to get me.
I never told the friend that picked me up what happened, just sat mostly in silence and then paid him for the ride once I was home. After that, I went inside cooked and ate an entire bag of chicken nuggets and watched Moana until the sun rose and my roommates were waking up. I wasn’t able to sleep for several days following that. I spent most of the time in bed with my dog, or sitting in the shower for hours at a time.
~ I don’t want to get into details about why, but I never pursued legal action. His fathers job made it near impossible to pursue without a huge fight and even then it wasn’t something that i thought would work out in my favor. ~
I’ve spent the last 6 years of my life trying to piece myself together after that. I had experienced awful things in my past, but that moment was the moment that truly broke me. It made me feel like I was worthless. Below worthless, utterly and irredeemably disposable. I hated myself to my core. I hated every single thing about myself separately and individually. I especially hated my body for how it responded, and it took me years of faking orgasms with partners and intense therapy for me to let myself feel like I deserved to finish. simply put: I was completely undone.
I couldn’t stand silence after that anymore. Anytime I caught myself in a quiet place my heart would race and my mind would bring myself mentally back there in Eric’s bed. Used and discarded. Wondering why my body betrayed me, why did I walk in his room? How else did I think our relationship would end? There was a pattern, I was the only constant and it was my fault. Everything was my fault.
I couldn’t stop thinking.
I don’t think I ever DO stop thinking. Almost obsessively thinking and rethinking my life choices and decisions. How it’s going to effect my future. Always have a plan, always have a backup plan. Always have a backup plan for the backup plan. It’s just easier to quiet down my thoughts with music or some kind of distraction.
Circling back to my initial question; even now that I’ve been hard at work addressing and unpacking what happened to me, and even though i’m in a safe place with a wonderful family and a partner who is very supportive and understanding..I feel like a part of me was left behind in that room that night. I feel like it effortlessly pulls me right back there whenever it gets the chance no matter how much I unpack it. Sometimes I think that i’ll feel this way forever.

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
Uhm, I’m a 14yo female, I’m a pretty typical teen I guess. Got the weird mental health thing going on and I’m pretty angsty but I suppose it’s pretty standard for a teen?
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
Not a medical diagnosis but I’m suspected to have mild depression
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
I grew up in a religious household but it wasn’t too bad, I left when I was 11 and my parents couldn’t care less. I do have a more conservative dad and a more liberal mom but that’s whatever. I am bisexual though which my dad probably won’t appreciate as he doesn’t like gay people, I haven’t come out to my family though so that’s pretty fun. My parents are loving but my mom is sometimes emotionally distant, whereas my dad is SUPER loving. But I don’t really reciprocate that love, I was never lovey dovey with my family, I don’t have a particularly strong emotional connection/bond with them for some reason. Whenever I show my love physically it’s more of a “damn I have to do this cause it looks like I don’t love them.” Which is completely my fault, not my parents. I mean I do love my parents but it’s more of a “they’re my parents and they do things for me so i have to love them.” my parents are completely chill and not strict at all so this isn’t a family issue. Sometimes my friends tell me how they buy stuff for their parents or plan special vacations for them and I think “wow, I’m a shit child.” So I do feel guilty at times because my parents are my world but I don’t have a close bond with them.
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
I don’t have a job atm seeing as I am 14, but I’m starting my art commissions soon! I like doing art and I want to make more money, hence the art commissions. But I do believe in the belief that hobbies shouldn’t be your job as it blurs the line between past times where you do things for the fun of it whereas doing it for your job takes the fun out of it since it’s mandatory and you’re not working for yourself, you’re working for others. But art commissions allow me to pay back for what my parents do for me and to have some extra spending money.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
Before, I probably would’ve felt amazing for the first day but lonely on the second. I’m a huge peoples person and an extrovert so I need my human bonding time. It’s a way for me to project my feelings and thoughts onto others but it’s also an ego thing for me. I need to hang out with others to show that I’m not lonely and I do in fact have friends because there was a time in my life where all I would do was rot at home all day, which I didn’t have a problem with but it was very lonely at times. Sometimes I force myself to hang out with others because I don’t want to go back to that stage where I was a shell of who I used to be. If I was alone for a whole weekend I would immerse myself into books, anime, manga, and my hobbies to forget about my existence because if I was ever left alone with my actual thoughts I would probably die because I’m a super self aware person. I’m so self aware sometimes I literally have to find philosophy videos so that I can think about other things and not lead myself down the rabbithole of self pity and guilt. But being self aware doesn’t mean that I change myself for the better. I know my weaknesses and I know my toxic traits but I won’t do anything to actually change unless I have the motivation to do so. Nowadays I like being alone and I would probably feel refreshed to just spend two days alone because the other 5 I am constantly with others. Being alone is a way for me to disassociate and I love it.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I LOVE “self” activities where I do stuff myself, such as drawing, reading, writing, etc.. But I also love activities with other people such as debating, being in bands etc.. I play badminton for fun, I’m not particularly good at it but it’s exhilarating for me. I am definitely not good at sports lol, but I am good at lifting weights! 10/10 for that self improvement, lol. I really love to debate, to discuss about things and see them through different perspectives. But unfortunately I don’t do it often because my friends aren’t the ones to debate. I seriously love to debate and to argue about worldly topics that are slightly political to more philosophical and moral topics. It allows me to be more open minded about the world because I’m being challenged about my beliefs, everything I know, etc.. But I also do it for the pure fun of it, I love destroying people in debates (corny, I know).
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I’m not a very curious person I suppose. But I have a lot of ideas in my head that are only up to the drawing board but never the execution phase, sadly. I’m not naturally curious, I just love learning new things (is that a contradiction?) haha. I wouldn’t say that curious is the right word, but I am curious about life itself and other moral things. Like why are we so big on morality, why do we think that the human species is special, it’s hard to put my thoughts into words. How are we sure if we even have a consciousness, if we have free will, free choice. Why we think that hard work is important when most of our successes are stemmed from pure luck. Everything we do, we think, our behaviours and mannerisms all stem from our environment, our DNA, our ancestry, etc.. People who grew up poor and became successful, they had the willpower, the motivation, the mindset and personality for it. Those things are based off of environment, DNA, etc.. Did you know that your unconsciousness makes your choices before you consciously make those choices? I’m going off track, I sound edgy. Anyways, most of my ideas aren’t the ideas that you can really execute. They’re mostly to challenge what we know now. Before, back in the 1600s, people thought that the world was flat, and that there was a thing called the great chain of being. Nowadays we know better than that, but how do we know that what we know now is actually real? Or is it concepts that we give ourselves to understand the world better when they don’t actually have any real answer? We understand gravity and the laws of gravity but why are there laws of gravity (stupid question, i know)? Everything has an origin but what origin do those origins have? It’s like that story where the fish doesn’t even know what water is because it’s so painfully obvious and there that it becomes something that they can’t comprehend/don’t understand. Everything I said sounds like I’m trying to be deep but I’m actually being corny, I’m sorry I can’t explain my ideas any better than this 😔
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I’m not the best leader if I’m forced into it or if I’m conscious of the role of leader. I often turn into a stumbling mess of weird ideas that I can’t explain well. But I am a leader in terms of giving ideas to others and helping them execute it out? Like we don’t have a said leader follower system but in terms of the ideas and guiding it’s me who often does that. I just don’t like the physical role of leader I guess. If I were the leader I would give ideas and suggestions but I would encourage others for their ideas and based off of that we can make a hybird of our ideas and stuff, I’m terrible at ordering others around though, makes me feel like an asshole.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
Definitely not coordinated in the slightest. My hands aren’t good at acting out what my brain tells it to do. Which is why I’m terrible at bass guitars, my bass teacher has amazing patience to not yell at me lol. The only coordinated thing I’m good at is drawing but I wouldn’t even call that coordinated, I just scribble with my hands and I make it look aesthetically pleasing. But that’s what I’m going for because I love messy, not cleanliness.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
Haha, I’m very artistic. I love drawing, art has no rules so I can do whatever I want as long as it looks good to me. I can experiment with different things to see what goes best with my art. My art is very messy, very textured, very colourful, etc.. My sketch is my lineart because I say so and I use random colours to make my art pop out. Random scribbles turns into eyes, ears, noses, etc.. Everything has a meaning in my art. I love drawing perspective art because it challenges how I draw typically, it’s interesting and expressive and it’s out of the ordinary. Art tells stories in the way typical stories don’t. It lets you interpret a lot of things rather than having a set and objective story, because it’s purely up to the interpreter. The story is how you interpret it to be, it isn’t written in stone. It’s open ended and it doesn’t tell you how to interpret it as so, thats why I love open interpretation books!
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
Do we really have a present? Right now may be the present but every ticking second after is the past. The present is just the past but more recent, something we made up. The future is what we delude ourselves into thinking, how do we know there is a future if it is not set into stone? How do we know that we will wake up tomorrow and the day after? How do we know that we will live in the next ten minutes? We are basing everything off of the future, why we work for retirement, why we study to graduate, why we live for the future, but the future isn’t set in stone. Everything is based off of pure chance that we are still alive. It’s so standard to just think that you automatically have a future, but there’s no definite proof that we will have one, so why do we keep working our asses off for a future that may not even exist? Why work for retirement when you aren’t even sure if you’ll live til then, and if you do, why are you so sure that you will be in the right mind to enjoy that retirement? Many people live in retirement homes after retirement with mental illnesses like dementia, Alzheimers, or they live with physical illnesses like cancer or whatnot. They spent their prime years working for something that they overestimated, and now they can’t even enjoy their hard-work because they simply don’t have the capacity for that.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
Of course I’ll help them! I’m a kindhearted being by nature, but it honestly depends if it’s in my skillset/power to help them. I help them because there’s a chance in the future that when I ask for help, they’ll help me back. Everybody can’t just function on their own, we are social mammals for a reason. We got so far in life due to the sacrifices of other human beings, so why not give back? If it doesn’t harm us to help then why not?
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
Interesting question. Logic may be something we came up to help us understand the world better and to help us function, so everybody does need a bit of logical consistency in their lives. But for me personally, I couldn’t care less. Society is built on a system of theories and concepts to help us explain things and to keep us functioning with rules and shit. But sometimes we forget that there are things out of our understanding that can’t be explained by that system, and that’s just life! Not everything has to have a logical explanation or whatnot, that’s just the fun of it.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
Productivity is important, efficiency? Sort of I guess. Currently in this time period, I’m not a very productive person, thinking about all the things I need to do stresses me out and gives me anxiety because I can be so unproductive it damages my mental health. Efficiency is nice if you’re rushing to do things but I like to take my time.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
I don’t control others in the sense that I order them around, but I control their view of me I guess? From the outside I seem like a very outgoing, happy go lucky person who is like an open book, but unfortunately I am not that person. I’m a reserved person at heart, I have a lot of friends but I only trust one. But I make it seem like I trust all of them? Hard to explain, I know. Sometimes when I’m stuck in rough situations I spin lies to make it seem like I’m the good person, I guess that’s called controlling and manipulation? Ultimately, I think about myself the most so everything I do is for my self preservation. So you can say that I’m controlling others in the sense that I can save myself? I know that’s not good and I’m trying to change my ways though.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
Reading, writing, playing bass guitar, drawing, reading manga/watching anime. All of them have a thing in common which is that I get to disassociate myself from my reality and immerse myself into a different world where I get to pretend that I’m living a different life where everything is tailored to my standards, where I have no responsibility, etc.. I used to have this daydreaming thing where I would daydream for hours while walking around in circles, dreaming about my perfect world. I don’t do that as often but I definitely use other outlets for that. I get to be a different person, play a different role, live a different life when I practice my hobbies.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
I like a learning environment where everything is subjective, open ended, where they give us space for open interpretation and our own ideas instead of a set system with an objective way of thinking patterns. Which is what I struggle with the most, just a set system of what to think where I can’t debate/challenge it. When I learn, I need an explanation, a reason, etc.. I want different opinions, different perspectives instead of just one opinion and one perspective and no explanation as to why. How will we grow as beings if we don’t have any critical thinking skills? If we just learn to think one way, and to never challenge our beliefs? Nowadays people just believe everything they see (I am a victim of this LMAO) but they don’t have the critical thinking skills to think “is there any proof? is there a demonstration of this? any explanation?” Because we are so used to others doing the thinking for us. I also hate memorisation because it’s essentially “Here, I’ll give you a bunch of things to memorise but with no reason as to why we should and how this helps us learn and will be useless in the future because all we know is what to do but not why we do it.” You’re just parroting the information but not actually evaluating it in your head!
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I am not a strategist, I’m a “go with the flow” type of person, I just wing stuff and improvise as I go because it helps with thinking and helps me better improve my explaining/arguing skills. I don’t plan off a script where I edit everything until it looks perfect, these are my raw thoughts and feelings that I’m putting out into this world. But then again I’m too fucking lazy to actually write a script and shit so LMAO. But then again random ideas are the best ideas because they tend to be unbiased and come from the creative side of your brain.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
I find that most of my aspirations in life are set by what society tells me to do, like I have to work a good paying job and have a stable life where I settle down and have a family. And maybe that’s what I want to do but honestly I just want to travel the world, typical, I know. I want to make a bunch of friends wherever I go and backpack across the world or something. I don’t need to make a lot of money because it doesn’t matter how much you make, having a 6k figure salary only means a two bedroom apartment with barely enough to scrap by after living expenses where i live, and it’ll only continue to get more expensive after i graduate so. but sometimes in the back of my mind, i just want to live in solitude surrounded by my favourite things without having any responsibilities, where i am forgotten by the world.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
I don’t really have any set fears? I can’t really think of anything other than roaches going up my ears, or any insect for that matter. Maybe dying a really painful death but that’s better than torture, or existing but not living. like having a body but no mind. I read a few stories about the elderly being trapped in their body, basically like living zombies forced to live until they die. i’m just uncomfortable with the idea that you can’t “exit” life even after your soul has withered away and your existence serves no purpose to anything until your body breaks down. it’s like you’re numb to everything and you can’t comprehend anything but you have only that one window of consciousness that you can’t even exercise because you aren’t in control of your body. you know nothing, you don’t know who you are, who your loved ones are, etc.. You are basically reduced to the empty shell of your former self. Scary, huh?
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
Healthy balance of a social life, actually being social without forcing yourself to be. having a healthy relationship with yourself, with your loved ones. not having debilitating thoughts wherever you go.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
being numb to everything, having debilitating thoughts where you despise everyone in your life, think the worst of everyone in your life, self sabotaging relationships, distancing from relationships. being high-functioning because you look so happy outside but you actually haven’t showered in two weeks, haven’t brushed your hair in a month nor brushed your teeth in a week, and locked yourself inside your room til you can’t anymore. sleeping all the time because that’s the closest thing to not existing, immersing yourself into anime and manga because you can forget shit going on in your life. feeling like shit but not actually having a reason for that. I SOUND SO EDGY????
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I like to detach a lot, whenever I have free time I listen to music whenever I can to distract myself from reality. I daydream everyday because sometimes I’m so stressed out by the future that I want to leave. But day dreaming has always been a habit of mines, I started daydreaming around 7yrs old and I would daydream for hours about my perfect life and stuff and building alternate realities and intricate plots because that’s so much fun. I never pay attention to the things around me, I don’t think I even pay attention to anyone but myself. I’m not the type to pay attention to my surroundings so I’m not aware of what others think of me or how they act around me. When I daydream I often stare at the ground or zone out so I’m not aware of my surroundings LOL.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I daydream while walking around in circles, often about fandoms that I’m in. I also talk to myself a lot like I’m my own narrator. I like to think a lot about the universe itself because I don’t need to think about my life. I never actually have a set pattern of thoughts, they tend to jump around from thought to thought. So I’ll think a bit about the universe then it jumps to my fantasy land until it jumps to my past experiences and it jumps to myself, etc.. I’ll also think about things that I need to do, like finishing that one piece of artwork or practicing that new bass line I learnt.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
I can be very impulsive at times but I already have a set answer to everything because I just am that person. I know what I want and it doesn’t take a lot for me to figure it out because like I said, I’m a very self aware person. I tend to be very indecisive when it comes to unimportant decisions though because they’re things that I can enjoy in the moment so I like to take my time deciding. Sometimes after making an important decision I might change it, but it’s usually because the situation has changed or another factor has changed or I gained a new perspective. But I am most often not unmoving after setting my decision.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
Depends on how extreme my emotions are. When my grandma died, it took me a whole month to process that I was grieving, I was basically numb/shocked until I went to her funeral and that was the first time I ever cried about her passing. Grief is a weird thing. Emotions are important but I don’t really care about them. I’m basically a “as long as it doesn’t harm anyone then whatever” type of person.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
Very often, actually, and I fucking hate it. Because whenever they say anything negative about something with no basis or explanation and I have to explain with them my perspective and the explanation of why that thing happens and they get pissy about me for it and think that I’m arguing. No, I’m not arguing, no, I’m not offended. I’m just trying to explain about why something they’re mad at is like that. They don’t like it when I give them logical arguments and questions because it breaks everything they know. So I usually keep quiet and rage silently while they go through their stupid mindfucks. I’m not about to risk my life explaining logic to someone who couldn’t give a shit. Like no Jennifer, you indoctrinate gay people, not the other way around. we literally get the death penalty in multiple countries for being gay and you’re saying that we’re trying to indoctrinate little timmy cause two girls were kissing each other?
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
I don’t break rules often unless they’re rules I deem stupid. Some rules are only kept in place to control others into thinking or acting a certain way. Authority should definitely be challenged to deem if they are fit enough to order us around. If we give them free reign of what to do then it won’t take long until a tyrant is ruling around. We are what gives them power, not the other way around. I break rules sometimes because I see no reason why I should follow those rules. If it doesn’t affect anyone then why should I care?

Previous thread
This is the weekly translation status update thread. Use this thread to discuss translation news, issues, titles you're looking forward to, etc.
Note: This is simply a mirror from 4chan's weekly thread on the /jp/ board. All credit goes to the user VNTS there. I'm simply copying and pasting for discussion sake here since some people can't access 4chan.
Entries in Bold have had changes since last week
Entries in itallics denote my own changes

Fan Translations

• 12RIVEN -the Ψcliminal of integral- - 42% translated
• Aiyoku No Eustia - In progress 100% TL patch leaked, project to continue, 100% Translated/edited/TLC
• Akatsuki no Goei ~Principal-tachi no Kyuujitsu~ - 100% translated and edited, 70.11% through QA
• Akatsuki no Goei ~Tsumibukaki Shuumatsuron~ - 100% translated, 37,354 lines edited (61.45%), 4,508 (7.42%) through QA
• Axanael - "Overwhelming majority" of the text translated, including the main story, some side content remains, in need of editing
• CHAOS;HEAD Love Chu Chu! - 70.54% translated, 22.70% edited
• CHAOS;CHILD Love Chu Chu!! - 100% translated, 55.30% edited
• Chusingura 46+1 - 35329/82770 (42.68%) lines translated, Kuranosuke route partial patch released
• Dragon Knight 4 - 60% translated, playtesting also ongoing
• Eiga Go-toubun no Hanayome ~Kimi to Sugoshita Itsutsu no Omoide~ - 100% translated and edited
• Fate/Stay Night - Partial patch released with a new translation for Fate/UBW/9 days of HF
• GinIro Haruka - Released
• Haruka na Sora - Sora and Yahiro routes translated, Kozue 75% translated, Sora 90% edited
• Honoo no Haramase Oppai Nyuu Doukyuusei ~Oppai mo Haramase! New Class Zen'in Harama-sensation!~ - Picked up, porting to Ren'Py
• If My Heart Had Wings: Snow Presents - 100% translated, 100% edited
• Jisatsu no Tame no 101 no Houhou - 17% translated
• Junketsu Megami-Sama - 2nd Alpha patch released, Astarotte route finishing up
• Kaseki no Uta - Translation: 15389/15389 (100%)
• Ken ga Kimi - 58% translated
• Koukan no Toriko-Tachi - Prologue, common, and Cuckold Play route translated, Swinging Route 35%, Yukari POV 40%
• Kud Wafter - AA Version 23,835/31,579 (75.5%) Lines translated, 18+ Version 19,240 / 33,113 (58.1%) lines translated
• Kusarihime ~Euthanasia~ - Translation finished, fully edited
• Lover Able - 100% translated and edited, 8466/32258 lines approved (26.26%)
• Lucky Star ~Ryouou Gakuen Outousai~ - episode 1 patch released
• Maji de Watashi ni Koishinasai! A - Ryouken Route After - 1942/3,494 (55.58%) lines translated
• Maji de Watashi ni Koishinasai! A Plus Disk - Preparing files
• Manakashi no Yuri wa Akaku Somaru - 66% translated
• Miagete Goran, Yozora no Hoshi o - 1 of 4 routes translation finished for the restoration patch, Houkiboshi Hika 2 of 4 H-scenes translated
• Nursery Rhyme - 100% translated and edited, text insertion 100% complete, testing ongoing
• Pure Pure - 100% translated, needs proofreading, partial patch released, all routes have been inserted
• Sakura no Uta - Chapter I 30% translated
• Sakura No Toki - 5.11% translated, 4.58% edited
• Sakura Wars 2 - Demo patch released, ADV, Battle, and "Long Day in the Theater" mode fully translated, disc 1 text inserted
• Sen no Hatou, Tsukisome no Kouki - Both original and fan disc 100% translated, in need of editing
• Shirotsume Yubiwa - 100% translated, 50% beta patch released
• Shizuku - 120/197 script files translated, 20/197 edited
• Taima Seiko Alice - 35% translated, 35% edited, 35% proofread, 1st partial patch out
• Tenshi no Inai 12-gatsu - 100% translated, Editing ongoing
• To Heart - 720/993 scripts translated, 200/993 edited
• Tokimeki Memorial 2 - Being translated
• Tokimeki Memorial Girls Side 4 - 55% translated
• Tsui no Sora Remake - 100% translated and edited, entering QC
• Umi kara Kuru Mono - 91/138 scripts translated
• Yosuga no Sora - Translation finished, editing and TLC ongoing, Total: TL 100% TLC 71% ED 55%, Common/Kazuha/Motoka/Sora routes fully edited

Official work

MangaGamer

• The Pillagers of Raillore - Out of Beta
• Ciconia - Phase 1 Released
• Hadaka Shitsuji fandisc - Picked up
• Rance 03 - 73% translated, 41% edited
• Rance X - 90% translated, 5% edited
• Luckydog1 - Translation nearly complete
• Funbag Fantasy 4 - 80% translated, 78% edited
• Eve of the 12th Month - 100% translated and 88% edited
• DEAD DAYS - 100% translated and edited
• Beat Valkyrie Ixseal - 84% translated and 81% edited
• Welcome to a Sexy, Open World - 92% translated and 86% edited

JAST

• Paradise - Released
• Sisters: Last Day of Summer - June 3rd release
• Sumaga- Slow progress ongoing
• Katahane - Progress being made again
• Django - Not actively making progress
• Tokyo Hero Project - Translation finished, dealing with bugs
• Machine Child - Still being developed
• Yomegami: My Sweet Goddess - 100% translated
• Yamizome Liberator - Picked up
• Mojika: Truth Rears Its Ugly Head - Picked up
• Djibril - 100% translated, in editing
• Masquerade: Hell Academy - Through 1st QA pass, in 2nd QA pass

Sekai/Denpa

• Kuri Kuri Click! ~My Summer Vacation!~ - May 3rd release
• Happy Saint Sheol - 100% edited, 40% QA, waiting on build, Demo released
• Harumade Kururu - Waiting on build
• Rewrite+ Harvest Festa - 100% translated, 40% edited
• Subete no Koi ni, Hanabata o. - 50% translated
• Sumire - Picked up
• Sanarara R - 100% translated and edited, waiting on build
• Glass - Picked up
• New Glass - Picked up
• Karakara 3 - 100% translated and edited, 70% engine work
• Yume to Iro de Dekiteiru - 100% translated, 35% edited
• Zutto Mae Kara Joshi Deshita - 100% translated, in editing
• Chiisana Kanojo no Serenade - 75% translated, 35% edited
• Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi 10% translated
• Hoshizora e Kakaru Hashi AA - Announced
• Akaneiro ni Somaru Saka - 50% translated
• Hamidashi Creative - Announced
• Inupara - In Development
• Nekopara After La Vraie Familie - In Development
• Raspberry Cube - Announced
• NEKO-NIN exHeart SPIN - 100% translated and edited, waiting on build

Nekonyan

• Aoi Tori - April 30th release
• Angel Chaos RE-BOOT!- Delayed after Steam rejection
• Dracu Riot - Waiting on Build, Release date announcement on hold until after Angel Chaos
• Melty Moment - 80% translated
• Fureraba Complete edition - Vita exclusive content to be added to Fureraba a couple months after the fandisc release
• Floral Flowlove - 100% translated, 70% edited, enging port ongoing
• Kakenuke Seishun Sparking - 80% translated, 70% edited, QA started
• Love, Elections, & Chocolate - 100% translated and edited, Engine port nearly finished, entering QA shortly
• Love Love Love, Burning in my Heart! - 100% translated and 74% edited
• Ready or Not: The Deadline is Coming! - 100% translated, 99% edited, waiting on build
• Mysteries of the Heart: The Psychic Detective Case Files - 100% translated and edited, engine work in progress
• Secret Project 2 - 100% translated and edited, queued for Unity port
• Secret Project 3 - 100% translated and edited, 50% though QA

PQube

• SINce Memories: Off the Starry Sky - Announced

VisualArts

• Summer Pockets Reflection Blue - 2024 release

Dualtail

• Venus Blood Ragnarok - Kickstarter starting in May

Frontwing

• Sharin no Kuni - Working to resolve remaining issues
• Lilja and Natsuka: Painting Lies - June 6th release
• Everlasting Flowers - June 27th release date
• Revue Starlight El Dorado - August 8th release

Aksys

• Radiant Tale -Fanfare- - June 27th release
• Tales from Toyotoki: Arrival of the Witch - Summer release
• Virche Evermore -EpiC: Lycoris- - Fall release
• Despera Drops - 2025 release

Age titles

• Kiminozo - Aiming for a Summer 2024 release

Fakku

• Two Beasts Or Not To Beast!! - 2.0 version, editing in progress
• Forbidden Ward - In Pre-Production

Saikey Studios (mix of official/unofficial)

• The Reason For Your Smile - Steam page up, Happy and NTR routes translated
• Toaru Hahaoya no Ayamachi ~Yukari Hen~ - 50% translated

HyoukanOpera

• Knight Case Files - Trial released, upcoming release

MAGES. GAME

• Corpse Party II - Darkness Distortion - 2024 release

Voltage Inc.

• Project Code Kaleido Tower - 2024 release
• Project Code Neon Mafia - 2024 release
• Project Code Vampire Hunter - 2025 release

B-cluster

• Re;quartz Raid - 2024 release

MediBang Inc.

• Cocktail Magic - Upcoming release

Kamitsubaki Studio

• KAMITSUBAKI CITY REGENERATE - Upcoming release

Dayu Zixun

• Voice Love on Air - Upcoming release

Kemco Corporation

• Horrific Xanatorium - Released

Shiravune

• Amazing Grace - Released
• Taimanin Yukikaze - April 30th release
• Mashiroiro Symphony HD -Love is Pure White- - May 2nd release
• Mashiroiro Symphony HD -Sana Edition- - May 2nd release
• Destiny Star Girlfriend 2 - Q2 2024 release
• Real Hentai Situation! 2 - 2024 release
• NYO-NIN-JIMA -My New Life in Charge of a Tropical Island- - 2024 release
• Kara no Shoujo III - Announced
• Sacrifice Villains - Announced
• AMANATSU ~Perfect Edition~ - Announced

Kagura Games

• Yoru ga Kuru! -Square of the Moon- Remastered - 2024 release
• Forsaken Quartet - Upcoming release

Aniplex

• Tsukihime -A piece of blue glass moon- - June 27th release
• Fate/stay night REMASTERED - 2024 release
• Hookah Haze - 2024 release
• Tanetsumi no Uta - 2024 release

Spike Chunsoft

• The Quintessential Quintuplets: Memories of a Quintessential Summer - Announced
• The Quintessential Quintuplets: Five Memories Spent With You - Announced

Love Lab

• Ever Maiden - 2024 release

DLsite

• Friendly lab - unlock(); - Upcoming release
• Club Suicide - Picked up

Idea Factory

• 9 R.I.P. - Fall 2024 release
• Date A Live: Ren Dystopia - 2024 release
• Cupid Parasite: Sweet and Spicy Darling - 2024 release

CRAFTWORK

• Geminism - English version announced

Harukaze

• Monkeys! - English release planned

Moonchime

• Haunted Obachestra Vol.1 Awaking - Upcoming release

Alice In Dissonance

• Fault Milestone 2 - Side Below - Upcoming release

G-mode

• Shinjuku Soumei - Demo Released, May 24th release

MiKandi Japan

• Libra of the Vampire Princess - All versions of the patches in testing

PRODUCTION PENCIL

• Paradise Cleaning! -Tutor X Hypnosis- - Upcoming release

072 Project

• Princess Paradise - 2024 release

F&C

• NTR with hypnosis application - Upcoming release

Eroge Japan

• Trap Yuri Garden - 2024 release

Tensei Games

• Unfaithful Wife: Ayano's "Netorare Report" - My gentle wife is fucking another man - - Q2 2024 release

GRAVITY GAME ARISE

• Tokyo Psychodemic - Demo released, May 30th release

Dark Nyaa

• Master & Succubi Hentai Lessons 2 - April release

MintLip

• Him, the Smile & Bloom - August 8th release

I’ve put on more and more weight over time, which I am working on losing in a healthy and sustainable way (which is unfortunately slower than the crash dieting I’ve done in the past). I’m currently 250 lbs 5’6 27F and although I think I generally carry it well, I’ve always had a very weak chin, seemingly recessed jaw, and a double chin. My parents and brother do too, but my brother has always been a thin, healthy weight. I’ve also had TMJ since grade school. So does my brother. He was recommend to get braces, but I never was. Idk if I have any bite issues, but it does seem like something is off in general here
I’ve been struggling with what seems to be sleep apnea, which has pushed me to want to lose weight and get a sleep study, but I’m wondering if that’s where I should start with all of this? I’m open to jaw surgery if it will improve my aesthetics and prevent future issues because my parents both have fairly severe sleep apnea and issues (they are also obese). I’ve also been getting masseter botox for my TMJ and using a night guard so I’d love to not have to worry about either of those things in the future. Doing those things and possibly getting a CPAC machine just seem like putting a bandaid on an issue
I’m thinking long term it seems like I’ll need some sort of jaw surgery and possibly lipo/something chin related, but idk the correct order of operations from here. Also it would obviously be great if any aspect could possibly be covered by insurance so I’m trying to be strategic
Should I get a sleep study while I’m still fat? Should I focus on losing weight and then deal with all of this? Is it best to start planning the surgery while still overweight? I’d love to hear from anyone who’s navigated this before. Thank you!

Socionics Questionnaire for MBTI help please:
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?

• Gonna head into Phystical Therapy school soon. I got interested in it because I personally injured myself and went through the process of healing through PT. I also enjoy anatomy and exercise a lot and it meshes pretty well with that. I like a lot of things about it, the only thing I dislike though, is how as a PT you have to keep your mouth shut when a patient angers you by annoying you or saying something heavily immoral

What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?

• I just be chilling. I lift weights everyday and box. I also spend a lot of time in my room watching Netflix and I watch Basketball with my homies. I occasionally go outside and ride my longboard and draw. I like having an active lifestyle. Lifting and boxing are also good routines that ground me and center me in the moment. I also want to get tougher and stronger which is what boxing and lifting help with

What are your values, and why?

• Mental peace for sure. I don’t like when too much mental turmoil goes on. I also believe honesty, courage, doing the right thing, and kindness are extremely important. No one grows from staying in their comfort zone and courage is the first step to growth. Honesty and doing the right thing are important because you’re just a pussy if you can’t find yourself doing these. Kindness is also important because everyone deserves to be treated equally

Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?

• With my family I’m seen as the relaxed, carefree youngest son who does his own thing. But being the youngest son also puts a big burden on me that I don’t reveal with anyone. I feel as if my parents financially supporting me cuts them off from their dreams. My father specifically wants to retire but knows he can’t because of me which makes me feel pretty guilty. But I love my family nonetheless. My relationship with my friends is that I can be the real goofy guy that always has something funny to say. They also see me as tough and relaxed though, because of my hobbies. I don’t feel like I have any toughness that they don’t have however

What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?

• I guess I just look for people who make me feel comfortable and that I can have a good time with. Idk I don’t really go looking for friends tbh, if things happen and I’m your friend then I’ll be your friend. In romantic relationships I’m pretty attracted to confident women who share the same hobbies and values as me. But again, I’m open to whatever. The most important thing in a girl is values to me

What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?

• I don’t really think I get into conflicts that often but if I had to say something it would be whenever someone tries to get me to do something while I’m just relaxing. I get visibly irritated and tell them to bug off. Whenever my dad barges into my room and tells me to research something I usually tell him to piss off. Another thing I can think of is when my roommates leave a shared area gross and messy. I’m oftentimes the guy to yell at them to clean up after themselves. Idgaf if you’re messy, I’m messy asf too, but don’t let it get into an area we all share

What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?

• When I set my mind to something I know I can get it done. My base state is to be relaxed however. People normally like my carefree attitude I bring to the atmosphere. I would say I like my courage and how much I’ve grown over time

What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?

• I guess maybe being too relaxed? I also do inappropriate things in public because Idrc about what other people say. This oftentimes can embarrass my friends lol. I can’t really think of anything I dislike about myself that much. I’m pretty satisfied where I’m at, but I’m not perfect ofc

In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?

• I’m not an anxious person so I’m confident in challenges. I would also say I’m pretty empathetic and make good connections. I would like help in logical consistency however. I feel like oftentimes I act on a whim and it’s something I could work on fs

What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?

• I dislike doing monotonous work where I can’t be myself. If I had to sit a desk job I’d not be happy at all. I enjoy relaxation and physical activity. I also like art a lot too and am pretty good at expressing myself through drawings

What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?

• Nothing crazy really. I just want a stable income and a family I can protect. I want to be a pillar of strength and stability for my future children and wife

What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?

• I like color coordinating things and I’ve slightly decorated my room. I have my boxing gloves hanging on my wall, I have pictures of me and my homies, and a TPAB vinyl album on my wall

How do you behave around strangers?

• Calmly and in a friendly enough manner. Not too loud not too quiet

How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?

• I feel like I’m decently assertive. I’ll be able to tell someone off if they insult me fs. But I wouldn’t really say I get offended that easy either. If someone physically attacks me I’m fighting back ofc. I don’t like to be in conflict though, I’d much rather just be harmonious

Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?

• Nah not really, sounds like too much work

How do you dress or manage your appearance?

• Dress in baggy clothes in a more urban style. I usually like clothes that make me look bigger. I color coordinate my clothes and I pretty much always wear white sneaks. Blazers or air forces

Do you like kids? Why or why not?

• Yeah they’re adorable and innocent. Same way I feel about animals (except centipedes, FUCK centipedes). I wanna take care of kids of my own eventually and be a loving father

In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?

• I feel most fulfilled when I’m at the gym or just enjoying myself. I also like having deep conversations with my friends from time to time, when we’re not just shooting the shit

How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?

• I don’t really seek it out I don’t think. But I do dress form fitting when I’m at the gym so maybe? I see that as me tryna check out my own physique and progress though, not as a way to get attention

How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?

• I’d say I’m not super responsible and I ca. def get better about it. But I do follow through with my promises and I expect others to do the same. Don’t let your words mean nothing, they are a binding vow

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what approach would you take, and why?

• My main concerns would be that they don’t feel loved and that they are weak and unprepared for the world. For those reasons I want to be as loving to them as I can. A father that’s seen as a best friend. But also I wanna put them in physical activities that strengthen them and challenge them

Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?

• First I would feel shock and a little bit of confusion. I wouldn’t know exactly what to do. I think initially I’ll be nurturing, telling them they’re alright and I’m here for them, but afterwards I would try to offer them practical advice

What is your biggest accomplishment?

• Getting bigger through the gym. I used to be a skinny kid, so feeling powerful and having confidence knowing I can do anything I set my mind too feels extremely good

What was (or is) your high school experience like?

• I was pretty shy back in highschool. I had a small friend group that I grew up with but I felt out of place in physical environments. Whenever we played a sport, I felt pretty awkward. I also did not know how to talk to girls, or anyone for that matter, and got pretty nervous in conversations. However I’d say I’m not like this now and changed quite a bit through time. I really don’t relate with any of these qualities anymore

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

• Yeah occasionally, I feel like everyone does. Oftentimes it’s when I have an uncertain future, I use something to put off my decision and get irritated whenever people ask about that future. In those moments I get short in conversation and leave the room

What is something you regret?

• No regrets mane, that’s how we live life. But if I HAD to pick… hmmm… there was one girl who I spent too much time on and now I’m confident I’ll never make that mistake again

Who do you admire, and why?

• My mother and father. My ma’s tough and she’s been through so much but she keeps moving forward. I respect her so much for that. My pa’s extremely intelligent and has an insatiable thirst for knowledge, something I could never relate to. He also always puts on a smile and is too loving. I wanna protect them both if it’s the last thing I do

What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?

• Getting into PT school. It’s been on my mind. I’m taking it day by day but there’s a part of me that’s kinda worried because I haven’t moved in yet or nun

What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?

• A laidback environment that allows me to be myself and move at my own pace

What is or was your favorite school subject and why?

• Anatomy and Phys. I love learning about the body and how the moments are so similar to that of a machine with pulleys on it. It’s just so cool and practical too

What is one common misconception that people have about life? Explain why it is wrong.

• People work too hard and take no time to chill. I think life is too short to not enjoy the moment. You also shouldn’t compromise your morals to get to the top. A lot of people do shitty things to benefit themselves and that’s fucked up

Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
Talk about a significant event from your life.

• Injuring my bicep. I couldn’t lift anymore and the frustration I felt was real. I snapped at everyone and was living in constant fear that I would never get better. The injury kept replaying in my head over and over. Eventually I worked through the injury and now I’m stronger than ever, both mentally and physically. It’s also what got me into PT. Truly a turning point in my life and I have no regrets about it, because of how much I learned

How do you see other people as a whole?

• They cool man. They just living their lives. People can be good or bad, but I never understood people that stereotype people. I know people that are lowkey racist and I don’t get it. I have a friend who constantly asks me “what do you think about x people” and I’ll constantly say I have no opinion, because I genuinely don’t see people as groups

What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

• Shamelessness for the bag nowadays. OF models and dudes beating their shit to that annoy me. It’s hurting society and is not something that children should be aware of. As we move forward with this we are losing our morality. I also absolutely HATE the US and how we’re funding multiple genocides. Free Palestine, Free Congo, Free Sudan, Free the Uyghurs, Free Kurdistan, free them all, they have a right to live and a right to freedom. Fuck greed, fuck the US, UK, and Israel

What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?

• I make my needs known. I’m usually direct and tell people what’s up, but because of chillness it may take me a bit to get here

Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?

• Not really. But if no one else steps up to the plate then I will. Most positions in which I’m a leader is when I’m convincing others to do something fun. Or when I know how to get to a place and others don’t

How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?

• I’d say I get at least irritated every day. I use anger as fuel for the gym. Things that make me angry and people trying to control what I do or push me away from my routine. Despite my mostly pleasant nature I can get quite snappy

What is one unusual trait or ability you possess? What makes you special?

• Idk I guess I’m pretty strong willed when I want to be? Idk if it makes me special but it’s something I’m proud of

What is your sense of humor like? Do you joke around a lot?

• I’m very gregarious and humorous. I joke around all the time. My humor is usually random and playful. Like a dog doing goofy shit. When I’m with my homies I’m constantly laughing

What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then?

• Different phases. Quiet, distracted, and violent in elementary school. Oftentimes getting into physical fights with classmates just because I could. Shyer in Middle school. Not really knowing how the social system worked I became friends with the stoners but then realized they were kinda shitty people. In Highschool I got pretty shy but I still had my gang of boys I enjoyed my time with. I’m much more confident, gregarious, and peaceful now. I feel as if I’m gentle but still direct. My hobbies also ground me now and make me feel whole

What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?

• Had a great time at Karaoke and the day after me and my homies explored the city and just had a ton of fun

What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?

• The purpose of life is to find a balance between worldly pleasures and pleasing God. You must be in the moment and appreciate everything you have in front of you. It’s fine if you slip up from time to time but always turn to God whenever you can

What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?

• Hard to say. I loved the UK when I was there. I also love Chicago and Austin. I honestly can’t pick one. Mecca was amazing too from a spiritual perspective. Any place that puts me at peace, where I can enjoy the moment is my favorite

NEED TYPING HELP
What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?

• Gonna head into Phystical Therapy school soon. I got interested in it because I personally injured myself and went through the process of healing through PT. I also enjoy anatomy and exercise a lot and it meshes pretty well with that. I like a lot of things about it, the only thing I dislike though, is how as a PT you have to keep your mouth shut when a patient angers you by annoying you or saying something heavily immoral

What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?

• I just be chilling. I lift weights everyday and box. I also spend a lot of time in my room watching Netflix and I watch Basketball with my homies. I occasionally go outside and ride my longboard and draw. I like having an active lifestyle. Lifting and boxing are also good routines that ground me and center me in the moment. I also want to get tougher and stronger which is what boxing and lifting help with

What are your values, and why?

• Mental peace for sure. I don’t like when too much mental turmoil goes on. I also believe honesty, courage, doing the right thing, and kindness are extremely important. No one grows from staying in their comfort zone and courage is the first step to growth. Honesty and doing the right thing are important because you’re just a pussy if you can’t find yourself doing these. Kindness is also important because everyone deserves to be treated equally

Describe your relationships with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?

• With my family I’m seen as the relaxed, carefree youngest son who does his own thing. But being the youngest son also puts a big burden on me that I don’t reveal with anyone. I feel as if my parents financially supporting me cuts them off from their dreams. My father specifically wants to retire but knows he can’t because of me which makes me feel pretty guilty. But I love my family nonetheless. My relationship with my friends is that I can be the real goofy guy that always has something funny to say. They also see me as tough and relaxed though, because of my hobbies. I don’t feel like I have any toughness that they don’t have however

What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?

• I guess I just look for people who make me feel comfortable and that I can have a good time with. Idk I don’t really go looking for friends tbh, if things happen and I’m your friend then I’ll be your friend. In romantic relationships I’m pretty attracted to confident women who share the same hobbies and values as me. But again, I’m open to whatever. The most important thing in a girl is values to me

What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?

• I don’t really think I get into conflicts that often but if I had to say something it would be whenever someone tries to get me to do something while I’m just relaxing. I get visibly irritated and tell them to bug off. Whenever my dad barges into my room and tells me to research something I usually tell him to piss off. Another thing I can think of is when my roommates leave a shared area gross and messy. I’m oftentimes the guy to yell at them to clean up after themselves. Idgaf if you’re messy, I’m messy asf too, but don’t let it get into an area we all share

What are your strengths? What do people like about you? What do you like about yourself?

• When I set my mind to something I know I can get it done. My base state is to be relaxed however. People normally like my carefree attitude I bring to the atmosphere. I would say I like my courage and how much I’ve grown over time

What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?

• I guess maybe being too relaxed? I also do inappropriate things in public because Idrc about what other people say. This oftentimes can embarrass my friends lol. I can’t really think of anything I dislike about myself that much. I’m pretty satisfied where I’m at, but I’m not perfect ofc

In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?

• I’m not an anxious person so I’m confident in challenges. I would also say I’m pretty empathetic and make good connections. I would like help in logical consistency however. I feel like oftentimes I act on a whim and it’s something I could work on fs

What things do you dislike doing? What things do you enjoy more than others?

• I dislike doing monotonous work where I can’t be myself. If I had to sit a desk job I’d not be happy at all. I enjoy relaxation and physical activity. I also like art a lot too and am pretty good at expressing myself through drawings

What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future, and why?

• Nothing crazy really. I just want a stable income and a family I can protect. I want to be a pillar of strength and stability for my future children and wife

What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)?

• I like color coordinating things and I’ve slightly decorated my room. I have my boxing gloves hanging on my wall, I have pictures of me and my homies, and a TPAB vinyl album on my wall

How do you behave around strangers?

• Calmly and in a friendly enough manner. Not too loud not too quiet

How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?

• I feel like I’m decently assertive. I’ll be able to tell someone off if they insult me fs. But I wouldn’t really say I get offended that easy either. If someone physically attacks me I’m fighting back ofc. I don’t like to be in conflict though, I’d much rather just be harmonious

Would you ever be interested in starting a business? Why or why not? What role would you play in it? What kind of business would it be?

• Nah not really, sounds like too much work

How do you dress or manage your appearance?

• Dress in baggy clothes in a more urban style. I usually like clothes that make me look bigger. I color coordinate my clothes and I pretty much always wear white sneaks. Blazers or air forces

Do you like kids? Why or why not?

• Yeah they’re adorable and innocent. Same way I feel about animals (except centipedes, FUCK centipedes). I wanna take care of kids of my own eventually and be a loving father

In what situations or times in your life did you feel most fulfilled, and why?

• I feel most fulfilled when I’m at the gym or just enjoying myself. I also like having deep conversations with my friends from time to time, when we’re not just shooting the shit

How do you feel about attention? Do you seek it out?

• I don’t really seek it out I don’t think. But I do dress form fitting when I’m at the gym so maybe? I see that as me tryna check out my own physique and progress though, not as a way to get attention

How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others?

• I’d say I’m not super responsible and I ca. def get better about it. But I do follow through with my promises and I expect others to do the same. Don’t let your words mean nothing, they are a binding vow

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what approach would you take, and why?

• My main concerns would be that they don’t feel loved and that they are weak and unprepared for the world. For those reasons I want to be as loving to them as I can. A father that’s seen as a best friend. But also I wanna put them in physical activities that strengthen them and challenge them

Your friend bursts into tears. What do you do? How does it make you feel?

• First I would feel shock and a little bit of confusion. I wouldn’t know exactly what to do. I think initially I’ll be nurturing, telling them they’re alright and I’m here for them, but afterwards I would try to offer them practical advice

What is your biggest accomplishment?

• Getting bigger through the gym. I used to be a skinny kid, so feeling powerful and having confidence knowing I can do anything I set my mind too feels extremely good

What was (or is) your high school experience like?

• I was pretty shy back in highschool. I had a small friend group that I grew up with but I felt out of place in physical environments. Whenever we played a sport, I felt pretty awkward. I also did not know how to talk to girls, or anyone for that matter, and got pretty nervous in conversations. However I’d say I’m not like this now and changed quite a bit through time. I really don’t relate with any of these qualities anymore

Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

• Yeah occasionally, I feel like everyone does. Oftentimes it’s when I have an uncertain future, I use something to put off my decision and get irritated whenever people ask about that future. In those moments I get short in conversation and leave the room

What is something you regret?

• No regrets mane, that’s how we live life. But if I HAD to pick… hmmm… there was one girl who I spent too much time on and now I’m confident I’ll never make that mistake again

Who do you admire, and why?

• My mother and father. My ma’s tough and she’s been through so much but she keeps moving forward. I respect her so much for that. My pa’s extremely intelligent and has an insatiable thirst for knowledge, something I could never relate to. He also always puts on a smile and is too loving. I wanna protect them both if it’s the last thing I do

What's been on your mind? Has anything been worrying or concerning you? What problems have you encountered lately?

• Getting into PT school. It’s been on my mind. I’m taking it day by day but there’s a part of me that’s kinda worried because I haven’t moved in yet or nun

What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job?

• A laidback environment that allows me to be myself and move at my own pace

What is or was your favorite school subject and why?

• Anatomy and Phys. I love learning about the body and how the moments are so similar to that of a machine with pulleys on it. It’s just so cool and practical too

What is one common misconception that people have about life? Explain why it is wrong.

• People work too hard and take no time to chill. I think life is too short to not enjoy the moment. You also shouldn’t compromise your morals to get to the top. A lot of people do shitty things to benefit themselves and that’s fucked up

Where did you go on your most recent vacation? What did you do there? How did you like it and why?
Talk about a significant event from your life.

• Injuring my bicep. I couldn’t lift anymore and the frustration I felt was real. I snapped at everyone and was living in constant fear that I would never get better. The injury kept replaying in my head over and over. Eventually I worked through the injury and now I’m stronger than ever, both mentally and physically. It’s also what got me into PT. Truly a turning point in my life and I have no regrets about it, because of how much I learned

How do you see other people as a whole?

• They cool man. They just living their lives. People can be good or bad, but I never understood people that stereotype people. I know people that are lowkey racist and I don’t get it. I have a friend who constantly asks me “what do you think about x people” and I’ll constantly say I have no opinion, because I genuinely don’t see people as groups

What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

• Shamelessness for the bag nowadays. OF models and dudes beating their shit to that annoy me. It’s hurting society and is not something that children should be aware of. As we move forward with this we are losing our morality. I also absolutely HATE the US and how we’re funding multiple genocides. Free Palestine, Free Congo, Free Sudan, Free the Uyghurs, Free Kurdistan, free them all, they have a right to live and a right to freedom. Fuck greed, fuck the US, UK, and Israel

What do you do if you're not getting what you want? What approach do you use?

• I make my needs known. I’m usually direct and tell people what’s up, but because of chillness it may take me a bit to get here

Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not?

• Not really. But if no one else steps up to the plate then I will. Most positions in which I’m a leader is when I’m convincing others to do something fun. Or when I know how to get to a place and others don’t

How often do you get angry? What kinds of things make you angry?

• I’d say I get at least irritated every day. I use anger as fuel for the gym. Things that make me angry and people trying to control what I do or push me away from my routine. Despite my mostly pleasant nature I can get quite snappy

What is one unusual trait or ability you possess? What makes you special?

• Idk I guess I’m pretty strong willed when I want to be? Idk if it makes me special but it’s something I’m proud of

What is your sense of humor like? Do you joke around a lot?

• I’m very gregarious and humorous. I joke around all the time. My humor is usually random and playful. Like a dog doing goofy shit. When I’m with my homies I’m constantly laughing

What were you like as a child? How have you changed since then?

• Different phases. Quiet, distracted, and violent in elementary school. Oftentimes getting into physical fights with classmates just because I could. Shyer in Middle school. Not really knowing how the social system worked I became friends with the stoners but then realized they were kinda shitty people. In Highschool I got pretty shy but I still had my gang of boys I enjoyed my time with. I’m much more confident, gregarious, and peaceful now. I feel as if I’m gentle but still direct. My hobbies also ground me now and make me feel whole

What is the best thing that happened to you during the past week?

• Had a great time at Karaoke and the day after me and my homies explored the city and just had a ton of fun

What is the purpose of life? What do you find personally meaningful in life?

• The purpose of life is to find a balance between worldly pleasures and pleasing God. You must be in the moment and appreciate everything you have in front of you. It’s fine if you slip up from time to time but always turn to God whenever you can

What is the most interesting place you have been, and why?

• Hard to say. I loved the UK when I was there. I also love Chicago and Austin. I honestly can’t pick one. Mecca was amazing too from a spiritual perspective. Any place that puts me at peace, where I can enjoy the moment is my favorite

My husband (32M) and I (31F) are a military family. Been married 3 years but together 7. He’s deployed right now to a pretty calm location, with no combat and short work days + weekends off. Currently I live alone in our home, and we’re stationed overseas. He’s set to return here in a few months. For context, it’s nice in a way, to have him deployed. I have the home to myself to present it the way I like. I don’t have to rub his back every night the way he likes. No meals to cook unless I want to. And because he’s not here, I don’t find or feel any crumbs or dipping tobacco in my sheets. But it does get lonely here sometimes. Right now, I’m alone in this foreign place. But I try to make the best of it, because it’s beautiful.
My husband isn’t really there for me emotionally, the way I’d like him to be. But I get by, and for the most part, I try to be patient. Generally he is very loving and affectionate. But he doesn’t like to talk. He doesn’t like to be bothered with much outside of his job. He doesn’t like to plan for the future, or strategize in terms of career. He doesn’t like to talk about finances, and has made a few financial pitfalls. Last year he bought 2 cars he couldn’t afford, insisting that he’d sell them for a profit. He never tried to sell, and the cats are sitting in parking lots out here growing rust. But we all make financial mistakes. When he was here, he had a hard time being here for me emotionally. I like to explore new places, go for walks, and spend time with people I love. He outright refused to do those things with me for a long time, and when I’d ask him he’d get upset and talk about his job. Things got better and he started taking me out some, but he can still be this way with me. He prefers that I don’t go for my daily walks. That I stay home, rub his back, and watch tv or movies with him until he falls asleep. In a lot of ways, this deployment is a great break from that chaos. For a while he seemed happier out there, with a different group of people from other units. But things have apparently taken a turn.
This past week, I asked if he would spare time and talk with me for a few minutes later in the day, as I’d received awful news about a close family member that I needed to talk through. He said sure, and the day went on. But he never offered up a set time. He got off work early that day and told me he was going to take a nap, and when push came to shove, he flaked on talking at all, saying he wasn’t feeling good. The next day I checked in on him and broached the topic of us talking as planned, and he told me he felt he was going through depression. That a lot of dudes out there were going through something similar, and that he could go and do things, but talking was taking a lot out of him. I pivoted and tried to encourage him and asked if there was anything I could do to help. He told me sending funny videos would help and that he enjoyed seeing photos and videos I was taking of my life out here, so I sent some of those along, but he didn’t really engage with it much.
The week went on like this, with very little communication on his part. I would get bits and pieces, he would he out with colleagues to eat, have drinks, and spend time after work. But he didn’t talk to me, wouldn’t share what might be going on with him internally. I told him this hurt my feelings, and that I didn’t feel like he was prioritizing his relationship with me. Specifically during a time when I really needed to talk.
Cut to this past weekend. My husband and I did talk a bit Saturday evening. It was a short phone conversation about channel passwords. At the end of the convo, I’d again told him, I felt frustrated and sad because he wasn’t really communicating with me. My husband told me he understood and that he loved me. We hang up and I feel glad we got to talk, and that he could understand where I was coming from. I call it a night Saturday night and fall asleep haphazardly, forgetting to text him goodnight.
It’s Sunday morning and I wake up, and husband hasn’t texted, his phone is actually off. It remains off for most of the day. I text him good morning and go about my day, and hours later he texts good morning. I ask him how his night went. Usually, when his phone dies over night, there’s been drinking involved. He’s fallen asleep and forgotten to charge his phone. Stuff like that. There’s radio silence on his end, and then it starts to hit me that just last night, he told me he could understand where I was coming from with my frustrations with him. But he’s just continuing to fail to communicate, or prioritize us. I tell him I’m feeling a slight way about all of this. He texts me back a little bit later and is like give me a few minutes to wake up and I’ll give you the rundown about last night.
Two hours go by, and nothing. Then he tells me actually, he “had an accident” last night (not the car kind) and used the bathroom (unsure #1 or #2 on himself), on his bed, and on his rug. He tells me he’s spent the last bit of time trying to clean that up, and that he feels awful about it.
I tell him I’m so sorry that this is happening, and that it sounds terrible. But I add that it has nothing to do with what’s been going on between us. He gets upset and says “Yeah, I’m going through some things right, but I’ll be sure to sit and take a look at how you’ve been feeling.”
I tell him that feels like a slap in the face response. Then he tells me he wants “some space”. These words really trigger me, because 1. He tends to ask for “space” at the slightest hint of conflict between us, but he never, ever offers up a time for reengagement, to sort through our issues. For him, space can take days or weeks, if left unchecked. 2. I just feel so beyond let down by him shutting down for the umpteenth time, right when I’m airing out valid concerns.
This is the part that I’m not proud of. I feel deeply ashamed and responsible for my actions, and at the same time I feel so upset and righteous: I call him non stop for 2 hours, demanding that he talk to me. I text him message after message, imploring him to pick up the phone. I tell him not to speak to me for the rest of the deployment, and then I’m begging him to just talk with me for 5 minutes. It’s chaos. And I’m doing this for about 2 hours straight.
He blocks me on iPhone but keeps me unblocked on WhatsApp. And he just lets the phone ring and ring, which baffles me. In hindsight, he might have been letting it ring to show his buddies how “crazy” his wife is. Or to have documented evidence of how “crazy, unhinged, and disrespectful of boundaries” I can be, just in case we split and get a divorce.
Whatever the reason, he lets me keep calling and calling, until after midnight his time and 2 am my time.
And this is where we’re at.
How do I recover from such a messed up thing that I’ve done? I feel so bad, for ruining this man’s night and potentially fucking up his Monday morning. And I also feel so frustrated that he doesn’t care about me. I feel hurt. And I also feel like I lack self respect or love for myself. How do I recover from all of these hurt feelings and shame I have over what I’ve done?
You know what I hate? I hate that this fucked up relationship I have with this guy can sometimes make me so desperate. Why do I care and try and try with someone who is soiling themselves in drunken stupors, and actively avoiding having solid communication with me?
I feel so bad about myself this morning. I feel alone in my relationship and afraid to just be here, alone with myself. How do I make things right, first with myself, and later with him. Despite his piss poor treatment of me, I do deeply feel that I owe him an apology, for calling like that and not respecting his space. That’s not who I want to be. But is this who I am? It’s what I did in my moment of weakness. How do I recover from this?
TL;DR: I went nuts oh my emotionally and physically absent husband. I feel hurt by him and frustrated, but I know that was wrong. how do I recover from my bad behavior?

Before I say anything I want to say ive written a whole as paragraph FUCKING TWICE and they both got deleted because my parents either literally called the phone or yelled for me to go to them and when I tell you reddit doesnt do drafts for google or my version first time I was depressed the second time I was pissed and I couldn't even vent about it so im doing it here Yes i'm writing this on a phone using google instead instead the reddit app this time I was smart and wrote this on google docs so it would save I'm sorry for my bad manners or bad grammer But i'll keep the story brief because im not typing for 30 minutes anymore Basically I wanted to ask why is it treated like a taboo to hate bad mothers I have a narcissistic mother as bad as they get only she's not a drug addict or sexually abusive (thank god) But she's a narcissist if you look up a narcissist parent she fits the description. She ruined my future and claims she loves me She smiled when my grandmother died and called my father and said to him “that's why you lost your dad and your mom” in front of me (This was when my grandma died). She physically abuses me, hits me when she's mad, calls me slurs and claims it's to toughen me up for the world when things get bad. She then says she loves me. I figured out she was a bad mom when i was 13 now im 17 i have a year left and she's gonna kick me out she doesnt love me anymore i can't cry they teach men not to cry so nothing will come out and frankly crying doesn't do anything. I don't want to excuse anything not even myself Because recently I hit her when she hit me we were in the car and I smacked her face she pulled out my dreads and I somehow scratched her I'm not trying to justify what i did but to give perspective i'm around 5,10 and she's slightly smaller than me but shes heavier than me and i'd argue slightly stronger she managed to pull out like 4 of my dreads. She threatened to put me in prison because no man should put their hands on their mother and i know she was right because of that i'm gonna miss school field trips that were scholarship worthy and i lost the chance for her to give me a bank account with 100 dollars for my birthday (i didn't get get anything for that 🙂). She bought a cake for my birthday. It tasted awful and claimed it was our cake because my birthday is a week apart. Then she bought herself two cakes that tasted way better and wanted me to sing her happy birthday (it was Ramadan so I didn't even want to think about eating, no i'm not muslim I just wanted to try it for the first time to respect the muslim culture). she doesn't let me work either so i'm basically gonna be homeless. I'm not scared of going to prison because I feel like I deserve some form of punishment. I do feel guilty. I hate how people can take advantage of the system. My mom knows she's a woman and can guilt people and manipulate people into thinking she's a victim. I wish we had a dynamic system. I didn't know that it was possible to love your children unequally and claim you love them but abuse them. She's done bad things that not even I can tell you. In some way she does love me by giving me a roof over my head and food with my phone that she didn't buy or the Internet she's not paying for. But she said if i keep fucking with her the only thing ill have is just food. My dad doesnt pay child support but even if he did she wouldn't use it on us trust me. My dads broke (not saying that to be mean) so if I did need money he'd tell moneys tight or I'd have to wait another day. It's embarrassing that we're poor and she won't even let me work for myself. I get bullied about being broke. Sometimes I find that humiliating. She says i'm too disrespectful to work and that i'm spoiled but i'm rambling sorry. I wanted to tell you all the things she's done but I'm always told she's my mother. No matter what she does she's your mother and the bible says honor thy mother and thy father so i try to listen but she freaks out if i do anything wrong and has her friends belittle and berate me. She threatens to put me in prison. I could do the same thing but i dont record anything she does and I don't want to put her in jail because I love my siblings. If she knows I even typed this she will call the cops to save her face. She also threatens to put me on the streets. My father loves me and regrets basically being the reason our family is so broken. But sometimes i doubt he knows what hes doing. My father said he'll take me in his home but he's broke i dont mean that in a mean way. I dont think he can truely take care of me. i hate it when he smokes everyday inside the house. he has no shower or washer and hes also the reason my gpa is horrible because he tried to take me out of my school and failed. He also cant take me to school on time so i had to go back to my mom So i plan to join the military and leave for good i wanna do the air force because that's what everyone says i have the smarts to do There's nothing anyone can do and I lost hope but inside I'm heartbroken that there's nothing I can do to take back hitting my mom. No matter what she did. It feels like it invalidates everything she did wrong. I'm hurt that I'm gonna essentially be alone when I've grown completely. I've never gotten to leave my home and I'm expected to leave completely and I wonder if anyone understands. Maybe one day I could talk about everything but its not today. I apologized to her immediately after I hit her but I've also never forgiven her for the things she's done. Why do I have to live humiliated not because of what she did or didn't do but because of the things she didn't allow me to do. I will always be her failure but i want everyone to know that i plan to make something of myself in the future but itll only be when im allowed to spread my wings and get out her door 🕊️ Ps i wrote Wayyy more but again my stuff got deleted twice. To summarize I'm just surprised parents can push their children to the edge get away with it and ruin the children's present and future my mom said if i go against her I will get raped and killed by people but when i try to work with her she hates it. I don't feel like i can truly tell anybody anything so i resort to venting at reddit I'm very poetic tho so i hope to rap about my past and trauma to turn it into something positive (no i'm not a rapper right now and no this isn't for clout). Let this be a letter to me from the past for the future. If I am successful without her or maybe somehow repair this utterly broken relationship I hope to come back and edit this response to let y'all know. For the people just like me I HEAR YOU, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. If there's anyone just like me I turn to you to share your experiences.
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I'm reviewing The Taunting Hour because it is an episode that did something very wrong and disgusting. This episode came out back in March 2022, and after seeing it when it came out, I knew this was easily a top 10 worst episode of the show. The word I could use to describe this episode is: ATROCIOUS. There were no positives to this episode at all. The concept seemed good but it just did not work at all here. Before this episode, we hadn't gotten a bad episode on this scale since October 2019, but this episode broke that streak of no bad episodes on this level. So, let's get into this.
The episode begins with Lynn at a soccer game against Beaverton with the rest of the family cheering her on, but Chandler purposely blocks Lincoln from seeing the game. Now, Chandler is the least of this episode's problems. As we know, he is just a school bully and that's his nature.
The game continues and things appear to be going fine. But then, Scoots comes in and starts to heckle Lynn in the middle of her game saying that Lynn has emu legs. It then gets into her head causing her to miss the goal. Eventually, all of Scoots' comments get the better of her and she freezes in place and it ends with Beaverton scoring a game-winning goal and Scoots laughing at Lynn.
We then go to the house where Lynn is very angry and goes to her room. She then starts rage-lifting 60-pounders. Lincoln then tries to help Lynn with her problem. After all, he's the man with the plan, right? Well, eventually this plan backfires later on without his knowledge. We will get to that part later.
Lincoln shows Lynn that she is not the only one in the family to have a hater. He starts by showing Lynn a video of Lola at a pageant doing her ribbon dance but one of the judges says it's the same thing from a previous pageant. What the judge says is 100% constructive criticism given how many times in the series we see Lola do the exact same ribbon dance throughout the series.
He then tells her that others in the family have haters. So first, they go to Luna's concert at the Burnt Bean and the manager says they sound worse than her grandma's piccolo band. Lynn then makes a note about that. Then, the two go over to the restaurant where Mr. Grouse gets a meal that he says tastes bad and that Lynn Sr. should stick to lasagna. Third, they then go to Rita's office where they find a bin with letters to the editor for the writing column.
One of the letters reads: Dear Rita, your advice stinks. Lynn opens one of them and lots of hate emojis blast at her. They leave and go back to the house and go onto the computer looking at mean comments on Luan's comedy blog. Finally, they go to one of Lisa's science presentations with Todd, her robot. One of the scientists says that he is sick of seeing Todd so many times and that it's embarrassing with his colleague agreeing.
Then, we go back to the house that evening at the dinner table where Lynn is feeling better. She thanks Lincoln for helping her see that she should not make a big deal about having a hater. She and Lincoln reveal to Lola, Luna, Luan, Lynn Sr., Rita, and Lisa the nasty things their haters say without them knowing. This then causes them to sulk and feel sad. Keep in mind that both Lincoln AND Lynn are involved in telling them about their haters. This is a major red flag here because of what happens the next night and who gets blamed.
Anyways, this causes the criticized Louds to have nightmares and they can't sleep. The next day, they try to make it past the day. Unfortunately, they end up having a terrible day when they were thinking about what their haters say behind their backs.
This includes Lola being unable to perform her ribbon dance at a pageant believing the judges will think her performance is boring, Luan being unable to deliver jokes on a live stream thinking about all the mean comments she got, Lynn Sr. freaking out by imagining Mr. Grouse saying his food is terrible and even freaking out when he actually sees Mr. Grouse, Luna imagining Chunk is the Burnt Bean manager asking her why she even bothered hiring her, Rita imagining receiving many hate letters from people telling her that her advice ruined their lives, and finally Lisa freezing in fear when she thinks that all the scientists will criticize her for using Todd in her presentation.
Then, we cut to the house that night with Lincoln watching a movie on the TV, and this is where everything comes crashing down. The criticized Louds burst through the front door extremely angry at him. They question him why he told them about their haters and that they were all freezing up. He told them that he only told them because he wanted to help Lynn feel better. Oh, but it gets worse. At that moment, Lynn punches through the door also extremely angry at him. She says that his trick to help her did not work as Scoots harassed her more at the mall food court and she says she got emu legs again.
Lincoln then questions why they're paying attention to their haters saying that it doesn't matter what they say. Then Luan uses Mr. Coconuts to accuse him by saying that he doesn't have to deal with it. Finally, the worst part about this scene is where Lola yells "YOU JUST GO AROUND RUINING LIVES!!" at Lincoln and everyone else calling him a life ruiner, EVEN THE PARENTS!! At this point, I lost it. This was the point where this episode broke me.
Remember how I said that both Lincoln AND Lynn were both involved in telling them about their haters? Well, they decide to pin the blame entirely on him! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! Lynn was just as involved! Also, Lincoln was not trying to deliberately piss them off. He didn't know that they would lash out entirely at him afterward! They only take their anger out on Lincoln, but Lynn gets away with it?! It does not make any sense!
The next day, Lincoln has no choice but to tell them about his hater just to get back on their good side, and let me just say, the ending is absolutely DISGUSTING. He shows the videos of many instances of Chandler heckling him. He makes the point that Chandler's comments hurt him at first but that ignoring him began to make it easier for him.
The rest of the Louds just decide to take his advice and they don't learn their lesson. It all comes to a sad end with Mr. Grouse coming in and Lynn Sr. blocking him out thinking that he was there to hate on his food again. But Mr. Grouse was actually trying to tell him that he forgot to put the parking brake on vanzilla. This results in vanzilla rolling backwards and Lynn Sr. chasing it down, and that's the episode.
I don't even know where to begin with this. All I can say is that this episode broke me. I couldn't find anything good about this episode. All of the characters involved minus Lincoln were very unlikeable. All Lincoln did was try to help Lynn with her problem and he didn't know what would happen. He was not trying to deliberately make them angry. He was just trying to help someone.
The way this could've worked is that if Lincoln and the rest of the Louds that have haters pitched in to help Lynn, it could've been better. But nope, this is what we got instead. Also, Luan being involved in this episode was very questionable. Remember Head Poet's Anxiety? Well, this episode basically took that episode and threw it in the garbage. Also, Luna? Really? One of Lincoln's nicer sisters was involved in this as well? It just blew my mind.
The part where everyone lashes out at Lincoln and the ending are just unwatchable. Why is the ending so bad? Well, the fact that they don't apologize to Lincoln for what they did to him the previous night is absolutely DISGUSTING. They had absolutely NO right to take their anger out on him. It was even worse because even the parents were in on it the whole time. This is where it gets very personal for me.
As someone who grew up with a very angry mom who would target me for very stupid reasons, this is why the episode broke me. The part where even the parents call Lincoln a life ruiner really hit me close to home. That's why it angered me to the max. Then again, it would anger anyone. Now, let's get into the characters involved.
Lisa, Lola, and Luan make my bottom 3 on my rankings of the Loud siblings. It honestly doesn't surprise me that they were involved. I was just so shocked at Luna's involvement. She's supposed to be one of the nicer sisters. The parents' involvement, I already talked about. I hated them all in this episode. And finally, the main focus of the episode. Lynn.
Lynn has been in my top 3 rankings ever since Singled Out and Hurl Interrupted. Normally with a character I love, I could never hate them. The worst I could be towards them if the do something bad is that I would just be disappointed, but, I'm gonna say it. I absolutely HATED her in this episode. She takes the cake for being the absolute worst character of the episode. The fact that she was involved in telling the rest of the criticized Louds about their haters and that she got away with it is just unacceptable.
There's a fanfiction of this episode on DeviantArt where Lincoln stands up for himself and retaliates. He rages at them, calls them out for all the bad things they do, and leaves the house, along with Leni, Lucy, Lana, and Lily putting the criticized Louds in their place for what they did to Lincoln. I'd honestly recommend you read that than watch the episode. It's 10x better.
I just cannot believe that Andrew Brooks thought that this was a good idea. What he wrote in this episode is very disgusting. Look, before this, I had high hopes for him. He wrote great episodes like Strife of the Party, and Much Ado about Noshing. I had a lot of respect for him at first, but now, he is one of my most hated writers on the show, much like Sammie Crowley and Whitney Wetta. He should not be allowed to touch Lynn ever again.
This episode was at first a top 10 worst episode of the show, but given my personal experience with an angry parent, this is instead top 5. It currently sits at number 4 on my list. I was going to give it a 2.6/10 because of the concept, but the concept just flat out did not work at all here. This episode was just a complete nightmare.
Final Score: 1.6/10

Drinking five liters of Fizzy Faz is a bad idea. Think of your kidneys and liver!
Previous part: 5.
Nothing to say really, let's just keep on keeping on!
For those new to this series or who have lost which part or place they're on, check out The Jonsie Burrows: Help Wanted 2: Tables of contents to find where you want to go! If you haven't seen any of my stuff before then...
Hello, this is something you might have missed in Help Wanted 2.
Previously Post Interesting things:

1. Our main character, HW Jeremy, Cassie's dad, is already wearing the Security Mask before we even start the game. This means Glitchtrap has access to his mind and body. As for what that entails...
2. Help Wanted 2's AMask-on version of the FNAF6 Pizzaria might be based on Micheal's canonical look for it near the end of Pizzaria Simulator.
3. After completing each minigame, a party hat, plate, and cup will appear on the table next to you. Whose party are we attending as a guest?
4. The protagonist of Help Wanted 2 is HW Jeremy, discovered through the color blue items which are prominent in the game and used for his name and shirt in Ruin. Jeremy was a former employee of Circus Baby's Entertainment and Rental and may have been present during the events of Sister Location.
5. In the First Aid minigame of Help Wanted 2, the "GET WELL SOON!" drawings depict Baby's life as seen through Vanny's eyes, hinting towards the game's secret ending. These drawings also reveal that Baby's data card from Sister Location was inside Helpy in Pizzeria Simulator and survived the fire. As a result, her programming was eventually absorbed into the Pizzaplex's Network, leading to her appearance in Help Wanted 2.
6. Glitchtrap may have collected the souls and memories of the original dead kids into the Pizzaplex's Network and in this game, Jeremy is going is his memories.
7. Help Wanted 2's Fizz Faz minigame's location is the same but different location in Security Breach. They both have identical objects placed in the exact place as each other, giving evidence to the fact that Jeremy is physically moving to certain locations in the Pizzaplex when clicking on the minigames.

Now back to our unregularly scheduled series!
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Once in the restaurant again, Helpy as always when you completed a minigame, informed you that a new task was available to you. Checking the Staff Only folder revealed that it was the next night of Fizzy Faz, which you clicked on to open its pop-up window.
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You know I've been meaning to get into the Helpi of this game. That's right not even a second paragraph into the next part and we're already deep diving into another subject!
So lets start with the interesting thing about Helpi in Help Wanted 2, is he actually Glitchtrap? Yes, no, and maybe. Let's think it through.
Unlike his Ruin variant, Help Wanted 2's Helpi only appears in one place, the projector screen in the hub world. Also unlike Ruin's this Helpi has a completely different design.
Although those two points about this Helpi don't give us much to work on to figure out why he the way he is in this game at first glance. It actually gives us a ton of information!
For one, his design and singular placement in the game tell us that this Helpi is not a part of the V.A.N.N.I. network like Ruin Helpi was. How can I know this? Simple. The V.A.N.N.I. network does not cover the FNAF 6 pizzeria.
You see something that I didn't cover in my Ruin deep dive is its Brazil ending. In that ending, Cassie puts on the Security Mask and integrates into the network one last time as she hides from the Mimic behind a Fredbear's cutout. But how could this be when Helpi explicitly tells us that the V.A.N.N.I. network ends at the door to the underground?
Something that I learned when I started my quest to prove stuff, especially when it comes to the endings of these games, is that each of the alternate endings we're given, no matter if they're the canon ending or not, provides us with valuable information about the ongoings of the game. Including stuff that's happening in the background sort of speak.
Take my "One ending leads to Ruin" post for example. Some of Security Breach's endings give us a pretty clear picture of what Vanny was doing when Gregory and Freddy went underground for the Burn It All Down ending.
The Alley ending for instance has Vanny tracking down Gregory into its namesake. But how Vanny knows that Gregory has left the building so quickly and managed to follow him right after he leaves is only hinted at in the To the Rooftop ending. During that ending we're are shown that Vanny is on the rooftop before Gregory gets there, much to his shock.
You see when deciding to escape the Pizzaplex rather than confront Vanny, Gregory falls right into one of her traps. Vanny knows that Gregory is going to try and escape the building once it hits 6:00 a.m. because she made almost every exit to the Pizzaplex unavailable and inaccessible to him until that time.
The front entrance, of course, opens at 6:00 a.m., and The loading dock requires at least a level seven clearance, which would take literally hours for Gregory to get. This leaves only one possible exit for him to leave through and the one place she can ambush him and catch him by surprise, the Pizzaplex's rooftop.
So when 6:00 a.m. hits and she still doesn't have him, Vanny waits on the roof as it provides her with a vantage point to catch him or spot which way he leaves the Pizzaplex. Unfortunately for her, but not too unfortunate considering all the possible endings, Gregory had decided to confront not her, but the true source of evil and attempt to Burn it All Down.
Though funnily enough, The Getaway ending, in which Greg and Fred steal a van, was the best possible escape plan, because the van provides Gregory the advantage of speed to outrun Vanny when she spots him from the rooftop.
All of this is information that could only be gained by looking at what the other endings tell us about what could possibly happen if different choices are made.
So what does the Brazil ending of Ruin inform us?
It can tell us that the Vanny Mask can connect to the Pizzaplex's network outside of the V.A.N.N.I network. If you are confused by my wording, let me explain as I haven't talked about it in a while. But the Pizzaplex has a main network and subnetworks. The main network is basically the foundation for every other network in the Pizzaplex, like the security system, the wet floor bots, and Glamrock Bonnie network, the various attractions' network, and the V.A.N.N.I network.
So the V.A.N.N.I network is not actually required for the Security Mask to be used, just the main network of the Pizzaplex, and as the hidden cameras of Ruin show us, at least one subnetwork connects all the down to where the Mimic was sealed. Way past where Jeremy is in the FNAF6 pizzeria.
But you don't really need the Brazil ending to find this out as the sequence leading up to it helps tease that out. No, what the Brazil ending tells us, or rather shows us and relates to Help Wanted 2, is that Helpi can appear outside of the V.A.N.N.I network.
How can I know this is Helpi? If you're referring to this Helpi, our little helper from the Security Mask, then no, I'm not talking about that Helpi. Whom I'm referring too is a variant I've come to call Helpmi. In Ruin, this corrupted version of Helpi is defined by his slight change in appearance and personality.
But more than that as I talked about in my "Helpi is a victim Prove it!" post. The source of our corrupted Helper in Ruin and is using him as a puppet is other than Glitchtrap. Our malhare has quite the fondness of using other known characters in the franchise as a trojan horse with which to interact and manipulate things. A quirk developed from his Mimic and Aftons origins, no doubt.
So when I say that Helpi can appear outside of the V.A.N.N.I network. What I'm actually saying is that Glitchtrap's Helpmi decoy can appear outside of that network. And that decoy can appear as any variant of Helpi, including Glamrock Helpy who makes an appearance in the Brazil ending instead of V.A.N.N.I. Helpi.
As to why it's Glamrock Helpy and not V.A.N.N.I Helpi who appears in that final image of that ending, I'm not totally sure. It could be that Cassie would be more familiar with that variant of Helpy as that one is the current standard design in the Pizzaplex, it may be because V.A.N.N.I Helpi is actually an entity compared to the other Helpys, or could be because Glamrock Helpy was the first version of him to be controlled by Glitchtrap.
Each possibility is likely, but no way to know the truth of it. At least for now.
But what's important here is that Glitchtrap is capable of showing those who wear the Security Mask a Helpi decoy that can direct them to do what he wants while he hides in the shadows. And that decoy can shift its appearance to fit any occasion.
Say a certain pizzeria that's deep under the Pizzaplex.
Is this Helpi actually Glitchtrap? Yes. Unlike Ruin's Helpi, this one is entirely Glitchtrap in disguise with no alter ego.
Wow, I just clocked in on that! Glitchtrap actually shows another trait of his Mimic predecessor by having a habit of putting on disguises! That is interesting...
Helpi, Nightmarrione plushie, and even Burntrap to an extent. I've been wondering why in this game, Glitchtrap seemed so intent on being hidden from our view. Especially since this is the type of situation that we should expect to see him since our mind is in the network.
We never see him up close, have a direct view of his full body, or face him directly. It can't be because he's stuck somewhere and has to communicate through a proxy as he personally hands us the memory dolls and even personally plays with us directly with his hand puppet in the Bonk-a-Bon minigame.
Maybe Glitchtrap being so hidden from us in these games after Help Wanted is not because he was cut from the games, but because he's deliberately hiding from the protagonists of these games' point of view and uses disguise to interact with them. Hmm...
Okay, we're getting off-topic now. But we will talk about this at a later date.
As for this Helpi retro appearance, I believe it has to do with being inside the pizzeria. This restaurant although is the location where FNAF 6 took place, may also be the place where a carnival happened to be. And if that giant Freddy we find near this restaurant is any indication, a Freddy 's-themed carnival that coincides with a certain annual festival that we've been hinted about in these new-era games.
Anyway, that about wraps it up about Helpi in this game. But I want to get further along in the deep dive to see if there's any else I can glean from this decoy.
Let's get back to the Help Wanted 2!
​
"Fizzy Faz fun! Meet production quotas and protect the bottom line." this was what the pop window for Fizzy Faz Night 2 read before pressed the TUTORIAL button and was transported by darkness into the void again.
"Make the correct order and send it up to the delivery unit. " "Give S.T.A.F.F. Bots a break occasionally or you may regret it." "Use the
Emergency Shut Down if things get out of hand."
Were what the ominous instructions floating in the void greeted you with. It looks like things aren't going to be so easy this night if that third one was any indication. With a press of the start button and a blink of darkness later, you find yourself back in the Mixing Room once again.
"You are back." was FIZZ Bot welcoming on your return.
"S.T.A.F.F may become hostile." Another warning about the dangers of the S.T.A.F.F bots. Looks like you are really going to need to start paying attention to them and how much of each ingredient you have.
"Give forced break." Nothing about your surroundings changed from what you've seen. Even that half-empty Sodaroni can that was between the tall monitor and the button control panel in front of you last time, was still there. So you decided to take these next few moments to prepare yourself for what's to come.
"If S.T.A.F.F strike, use SHUTDOWN button. Force reboot." Was the end of Fizz Bot's short and clip instructions for the night before the tall monitor let up, implying the shift had started and the work had begun.
(Oooh, that's what that button does, reboot the S.T.A.F.F bots. I thought it was just a lockdown button. I should've probably paid more attention to Fizz Bot's explanation on my first watch-through of this game.)
It was all going well enough for you, you followed the list of ingredients, placed the container in the delivery unit, and kept an eye on the S.T.A.F.F bots as quickly and as best as you could. Rinse and repeat.
To your misfortune though.
A loud metallic screeching noise echoed throughout the Mixing Room, throwing you off your rhythm and causing you to stare out your window and into the warehouse itself. You didn't see anything, so you checked the cameras for the source of the noise.
Your best wasn't good enough.
A whirring sound pulled your gaze off the monitor and back to our front window as something that wasn't there before had pulled up to the window and was now standing there.
It was a S.T.A.F.F bot but not one that you've seen before. It was covered in dirt like someone had pulled it out of some old dusty dirt pile left in some forgotten part of the warehouse. But more than that, someone had decided to give it strange markings made by a black marker.
Its eyes were blacked out and tear marks were given to its face along with a drawn gaping mouth designed in a way to give the impression of teeth and three stripes were made around its forearms. But the strangest thing about this bot besides the fact that it was made to look like Nightmarionne, was that there was writing on its chest and what it read.
"In your Dreams."
What? But before you could think another thought, the bot slammed its hands against the glass window before rolling itself towards your right. Right to the open exit door.
In a moment of panic and quick thinking, you slammed the emergency SHUT DOWN button in front of you before you lost sight of it in the front window. Immediately, sparks shot up from various areas in the room as a metal wall came down from above and blocked the front window and a metal door came down in the doorway. Shielding you inside the room that was currently letting off an alarm sound and blinking a red light.
With the metal shield blocking the front window and your right short monitor displaying a black screen preventing you from seeing the cameras, you were totally isolated from the ongoing outside of the room you were in.
Luckily, your other monitor was on and still gave you the current order, so using this time wisely, you finished up the next few orders before the shutdown was over.
Which was soon enough as the metal shields went back up, the red lights turned off, and the alarm became silent. The Nightmarionne bot that was once in your front view has disappeared, but you had no time to be more thorough in your search for it as you still had orders to complete and S.T.A.F.F. bots to manage.
​
I find it really odd and curious that the Nightmarione bots in this minigame don't have their glowing white eyes like in Security Breach. Is this implying that the minigame's version of these bots is just a recreation rather than being the real ones?
I just went and checked out the normal ending for this game because I remembered that the Nightmarione bots appear there too and the same goes for them. No white eyes...
At first, I was going to brush this whole thing off as just an ordinary appearance of that special S.T.A.F.F. bot. But the missing eyes thing is starting to make me believe that something else is going on here with those bots in particular.
But what?
I know that the S.T.A.F.F. bots, or at least some of them, have the souls of Fazbear employees or other victims trapped within them due to Security Breach voice lines for them. Is this telling us that the souls within them are no longer there? Or is it telling us that the souls aren't in the network that we are in?
What I mean by that last line, is that both in this minigame and the ending, we are integrated into the network through the Security Mask. But unlike Ruin, we are integrated into a different network, not the V.A.N.N.I. network.
Still, there's got to be a reason why Steel Wool decided not to give them their signature white eyes in Help Wanted 2. I can't think of anything so I'll just stick a mental pin on this for later.
​
Before long, the ending shift alarm rang throughout the warehouse letting you know that your shift has ended and your work was completed. "Return and work. Save time tomorrow." Was the last thing you heard before you were transported back to "GAME WON!" void to claim your reward from the claw machine.
Which turned out to be something surprising compared to the other prizes you've gotten from the machine. It was a red gumball machine with arms and googly eyes, aptly named Gumball Swivelhands.
Pressing the "RETURN TO HUB" button had you transported back to the restaurant. Once there, it was the same as usual. Helpy notifying you, that there was another task available and huh?
You spotted something in the left side corner of the restaurant that wasn't there before. What was weird was that it was something that you've become recently familiar with. Like, a couple of seconds ago.
Standing before you, right next to a bill-to-change machine, with an open smile, extended eyelashes, and a propeller hat was Gumball Swivelhands. How did it get here? Did someone place it here? Could you get a gumball?
No matter the question asked, the answer remained unknown to you. But this goofy gumball machine made you wonder if other prizes you receive will show up here too.
There was only one way to find out.
Back at the computer station, you clicked on the Staff Only folder to presumingly start Fizzy Faz Night 3 but you were shocked to find that the next unlocked file was another corrupted file. In fact, you had another file that was corrupted in addition to that.
This meant there were no more tasks that you could complete in the Staff Only folder until you figured out how to fix these corrupted files.
You stood there, staring at the screen wondering how were you supposed to fix them, until you sighed and closed the Staff Only folder window. There was absolutely nothing you could do, so the only logical choice you had was to pick a different folder to complete for now. Who knows, maybe one prize you will receive from one of these other folders holds the key to the corrupted files.
But which folder should you do next?
(By using a random letter generator and picking the starting letter of a YouTuber's name, we decide what to do next! So the honor of picking the next folder goes to... Huh, I guess there's not a YouTuber that played Help Wanted 2 with L as the first letter in their name.
Alright then, next letter! It's A! Which means Astralspiff!)
You decided to do Ticket Both next as you were curious as to what exactly that entailed. Clicking on the folder caused its popup window to be displayed and revealed what the folder contains. And surprisingly, there were only three things in it. Needless to say, that was much less than what the other folder had.
There were two locked folders and a file that was named Carousel with an icon of its namesake. Looks like this is going to be a little bit more interesting than the other ones too, going by just its name alone.
(Oh joy! It's the Moon minigame!)
Another click brought up the Carousel pop window which stated, "Enjoy a ride on the classical Fazbear antique carousel. May require technical support." Alright, it was time for you to see what this was all about and see what this folder had in store for you. And so with one more click, your vision was covered in black.
​
Not gonna lie, I was pumped to finish Night 3 of Fizzy Faz in this part. This is the second time where I'm ready to do a two-in-one special within one part! But I guess the Ticket Both minigames are going to have the honor of fulfilling that.
And oh joy, am I excited to get into this carousel minigame as my mind has given me an interesting thought which we'll explore more™ in the next part!

TTPD Twin Storylines weaved together & double meanings throughout! ✌️👯‍♀️💕

**Attention ALL Swifties (particularly Gaylors) and associates of the Tortured Poets department*\*
PLEASE READ!! (and read with an open mind!!)🤍
Listening to the amazing TTPD on repeat this past week, I am almost certain that I have made an important discovery that I haven't seen talked about anywhere else yet and would love to get the coversation going, in hopes that Taylor will see that we are all finally listening to her! I'm still piecing everything together, as there is so much to unravel and am far from calling myself an expert on her exact timelines and dates, so am looking forward to hearing thoughts from others that are more knowledgable in her history.
I have been of the belief for a while now that Mastermind and Dear Reader were foretelling of her future, and also that the album title had a double meaning (evidenced by the lack of apostrophe in 'poets'). That the tortured poet would be departing. Note that I am also a believer that she has been closeted by those closest to her and is preparing to ruin her name and perceived reputation, give up the false public version of herself and come into her own true self. Everything as we know it will be destroyed and it is all playing out now, coming together as part of her plan.
Falling in line with all of the two's - the double album, the double meaning in the album name, the two sides of taylor etc, I have found that there are two intertwining stories told throughout her tracklist, AND that all songs also have a double meaning!! None of which are about the perceived muses of Travis, Matty or Joe. The 'evidence' for those relationships are all red herrings (for example 'putting narcotics into all of my songs' - but only in the songs with obvious reference to her beards), to make it seem ambiguous and open to interpretation of who the songs may be about, which is seen often throughout her discography. She uses an incredible amount of metaphors and we must look beyond those to decipher her lyrics - do not take anything at face level with Taylor. Most should realise that she is so much smarter than making obvious songs about whichever male muse she is 'dating' at the time. She has always played into that public view to cover her true self. Many songs have themes of secret and hidden love, which juxtaposes with the public 'relationships' she is seen as having.
She tells us in 'The Manuscript' that "lookin' backwards might be the only way to move forward". Therefore we must listen to TTPD in reverse, from track 31 (13 reversed!) to track 1. I believe The Manuscript also acts as a bookend for both of her stories and should be listened to as a closer after the last song of the story 'Fortnight' ends, to get a complete picture. Once we have listened to the album in reverse order, can we see so plainly that each song tells a different story of a period/situation/muse/love/heartbreak in her life - beginning at her parents meeting in The Manuscript, to current day. I think the songs may also actually have a sister song from the corresponding album/period in time, with similar sound, lyrics or theme that connects them. I believe that each song also has a double meaning and can be interpreted as messages to her fans about things that have happened to her over the years or that are about to happen, and she is trying to communicate her feelings of being trapped. Many songs relate to her being caged and forced to hide her true self, in particular by one person closest to her - her father. It is heartbreaking to listen to.
The really brilliant part I discovered next, is that The Anthology tracks also have another hidden storyline being told which intertwines and intersects in the exact right place to fit in with her life story. It includes all of the "THE" songs and is in reverse order from the parallel life story and vinyl variants order of issue (but chronological track list order).

1. The Tortured Poets Department
2. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
3. The Alchemy
4. The Black Dog
5. The Albatross
6. The Prophecy
7. The Bolter
8. The Manuscript

Rather than presenting my interpretation of the timeline and each story told in every song, I urge everyone to listen to both stories, in these exact orders, with an open mind as to what she could possibly be describing! My mind was completely blown when I figured this out!! Her mind is incredible, there is no other way to describe the album, other than a masterpiece! I feel so much for the pain she has gone through. This album explains her feelings and reasons for hiding her true self over the years for any fans that will inevitably be feeling upset and deceived by her. We all need to show compassion for everything Taylor has sacrificed in her life and give her what she needs. She truly deserves love, honesty, happiness and peace. ✌️💜
I'm in the process of creating a document trying to piece all of the hidden connections together just to wrap my head around this amazing body of work, so may possibly link this when I have it completed, otherwise I might add more info to this post as I go, for anyone that might be interested.
I have a couple of extra personal thoughts, theories and hopes for anyone still reading…
The manuscript of her life story may possibly be the manuscript for a future book/film.
I think one meaning of "Fortnight" is a foretelling message to the fans that havent been noticing any of her many hair pin drops - she has been trying to get the message across but they aren't listening. For the fans she loses when she comes out - she touched them with this album for only a fortnight, before she lost them. She loves the fans but staying in the closet is ruining her life. I think something big could be happening a fortnight after release? Friday 3rd May is International Sun Day. ☀️ Karlie Kloss was always 'sunshine' to Taylor. According to Karlie, their first meeting was at the 2011 Met Gala on May 2, however, there is a possibility that they could have met at the afterparty - after midnight, making the anniversary May 3! Met Gala 2024 is only a few days later, could they both make an appearance and be seen together? If nothing big occurs, perhaps some seeds of doubt will be planted on the 3rd? Or.. It perhaps could it also be a surprise rep TV (with or without Karma?) with either some questionable or obviously queer vault tracks?! Who really knows.. I honestly have no idea, but whatever happens, I know Taylor has it all meticulously planned out and everything will happen when it is supposed to.
Taylor is chairman of the Tortured Poets department - the leader of the mass coming out we are about to see. As Chely Wright put - 'we need someone at the top' to come out and pave the way for others to do the same, and to stop the forced closeting in the celebrity world. I think Travis and a lot of her former beards are also queer and there will be many more 'tortured poets' that will join 'the department'.
Karma will be album 1 (TS12) in the 3,2,1 countdown, TS13 is 0 - the album in which she gets her colour back, reclaims her glitter gel pens and finally can sing her truth proudly! When she destroys her own name and reputation for herself, I cant wait to see if she uses original female pronouns for muses in Debut and Rep!
Last of all, PLEASE BE KIND! If anyone has made it to the end of this and doesnt agree, I'd love for you to have a listen to the songs in the orders above before commenting. If not, lets just agree to disagree! We all have our own personal takes on Taylor's lyricism and I would never dream of being unkind to another just for having a difference of opinion. 🫶
For Taylor - if you somehow happen to see this - please know you are truly a mastermind, you are loved and we've got you!
🌈💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🌈
❤️ gerimegs

I need advice on how to deal with my situation appropriately and it’s been going on for awhile now. It seems to be getting worse each time.
I’m almost 22 and have been married since 2021. My Husband and I have a beautiful 2 year old Daughter. Back when I first met my husband I was 18 and had gotten kicked out of my house (my mom and I had a bad relationship at the time) Having nowhere to go my now husband asked his parents if I could stay with them. He was 19 at the time and had just came back from Army Basic Training. His Dad didn’t have a problem with it but his Mom didn’t want me there and I didn’t know it at that time but I never resented her for that especially now as a Mom myself. I wasn’t talking to my Mom or any of my family at the time. I really appreciated them taking me in. I was very shy and didn’t talk much. It was a new environment for me. He told his parents everything. They seemed to have a really close bond. We sat at the dinner table every night with them. It was all new for me and naturally I felt like a burden.
My Mom called out of the blue and my Husband convinced me to answer and talk things out. My mom apologized for everything and she seen that I went to the doctor from an email she had gotten and she knew I was pregnant. When my Husband and I found out we decided we wanted to move to Florida so he could start a career and become a cop eventually so he applied for correctional officer jobs in Fl. My mom knew and she had to take me to my appointments while we still lived in Nc because my husband worked and I didn’t have a car. My husband’s sister knew because he couldn’t keep it from her. His sister told their Grandpa and even told their Mom “I won’t say yes, but I won’t say no” when asked if I was pregnant. We didn’t tell his parents because almost everyday was a lecture about how we better not get pregnant and she would constantly ask if I was taking birth control. She said a few times that she’d “kick our ass” if she found out we were. I didn’t know them well enough to feel comfortable telling them and my Husband just didn’t want a lecture about something we wanted. We were 18 and 19. Yes, that’s super young but we talked about starting a family and moving away and starting a life together. He wanted to be a cop and I wanted to Stay home and raise babies.
So my family got together to throw us a going away party/gender reveal party and also that’s the day my husband proposed to me. His parents knew about the engagement (which btw I later found out his mom didn’t approve when he first told them he wanted to marry me) but they still didn’t know we were pregnant. At this point I felt like his parents liked me and I really liked them. We moved to Fl and his parents even volunteered to put a down payment on a house if we pay the mortgage and eventually buy it from them. We were incredibly grateful. I was actually shocked they offered. I wasn’t there when they talked it over but my Husband and I were planning to rent somewhere before they came up with this idea. His Mom did make comments to people that it was going to be their vacation home and also telling us that the spare room in the house would be their room when they come down Meanwhile, we knew the spare room would be our future child’s room and It did make me a little uncomfortable about it all but I was still trying to show respect and gratitude.
We were staying in an airbnb until the house closed and we got married at a courthouse shortly after and that’s when he called his parents and told them we were pregnant. Naturally they were upset and felt left out and I felt bad but they put some much pressure on us. After that we made the announcement publicly to all friends and family that we were expecting a baby and everything seemed fine. His Mom and Dad were happy, My parents were happy. My mom did later on. tell me that my Husband’s Mom called her telling her that she was going to be in charge of the baby shower since we left her out and that she was owed the right to be there for the first ultrasound for the next baby and she was making my mom feel like she couldn’t be involved in the baby shower, but it didn’t work out the way she wanted because I was the one that planned my own baby shower and my Mom stayed there all night making desserts and that I am sure made her mad when she could’ve went there and helped my mom that night and since then it felt like my Husband’s Mom didn’t like mine.
Slowly I started to realize that they didn’t respect us. For a few examples, lecturing us over and over about something, calling telling us to do things that didn’t concern them something as simple as sending an important paper in the mail, or fixing our car. if we didn’t agree with them, we just said OK to them we never talked back or argued. I told them that I didn’t want anyone at the house when we had our daughter and they came down to stay for a week and she was trying so hard to stay for me to go into labor when my own mom couldn’t make it down to be there. I just wanted it to be me and my Husband because by that point we found out that he was going to deploy two months after we were going to have our baby for a whole year and I wanted that time with just him. luckily, I went into labor the day after they got back home.
He deployed when our daughter was only a month and a half old and I went to live with his parents for a year because I couldn’t be by myself. I didn’t know anyone I had no family or friends down in Florida, so I just wanted some emotional support during that time two months postpartum with a newborn, and I had a fear of driving. sorry, I started regretting that decision because I felt judged and uncomfortable and unwelcome. They would say little out-of-the-way things to me and make me feel like what I was going through, wasn’t a reason to feel the way I did. I had no motivation I was depressed and I was homesick but I still got up every day and took care of my baby. I never needed their help taking care of her. I just wanted people to talk to when I was having anxiety or when my husband and I were going through problems. she never wanted to be comforting during our fights. She would always tell me or my husband that we weren’t gonna make it and we were gonna end up getting a divorce and she even told me one time that she would not let our daughter grow up around that meaning us arguing when we were going through a long-distance relationship and having a hard time. while living with her, she told me that I needed to get off my phone and pay more attention to our daughter even though it wasn’t like I was neglecting her, I would just do things to keep my mind busy when my daughter was content and didn’t need me. my husband was overseas so we had different time zone so I had to adjust to that while taking care of a baby. I constantly felt judged by them. I didn’t like driving so I would always DoorDash things I needed. I bought everything that my daughter needed. I bought breakfast and lunch for us. The only thing that they provided was dinner.
my mother-in-law’s aunt lived right next-door and she would asked me to go out and run errands with her all the time and it helped me get out of the house. We would go grocery shopping together and she took me anywhere i needed to go. we had good conversations and it was a way to bring us closer. she was really there for me when no one else was emotionally . multiple times while living with them. They would ignore me when I would ask for my daughter back tell me “no it’s okay” they got her or when she was screaming they thought that they could comfort her more than I could and they would not hand her back to me.
I’m sorry this is super freaking long but fast forward to May of last year.
my sister-in-law, and I have the same birthday and she lives in North Carolina and at this time his parents live in Tennessee they took off work to go down to North Carolina to spend time with their daughter on her birthday but she decided to go to the beach so they took the opportunity to come down to Florida for my birthday and I was already upset that my family couldn’t be there but I decided to try and enjoy it. we had been arguing with his parents a week before, and I didn’t want them to come down and continue to argue with us and ruin my birthday and that’s exactly what happened the day after my birthday they were outside washing our house because they said it was really dirty and we went next-door to swim for 20 minutes.
We came back and they were so mad and said that we needed to get rid of our dog, because it chewed the table they gave us, and before we had time to even react, she told us the table was destroyed, and we need to figure something out about the dog so we went in and saw that the leg of the table was chewed, and our dog was in a cage shaking with P all over the house. We were upset because they were demanding that we get rid of our dog before even trying to talk it out like adults and for us to actually feel sorry about what had happened we let it go for a little bit and I was in my room on the phone with my mom and that’s when I heard my husband and his dad getting into an argument. His dad was cussing him and my husband walked through our room to go outside because we were grilling out and his dad followed so I told my mom that I would have to call her back at that same moment my husbands mom open the door and demanded that I get outside and listen to what they had to say. I didn’t say anything I just walked outside and they bashed for everything, our financial struggles, the fact that I didn’t take Mother’s Day to go get cookies to my husband’s grandma in a nursing home
I was shaking so bad I was so upset that they were just yelling and screaming and bashing us, and I was just sitting there quiet not saying anything back. I finally had enough and I started standing up for myself, saying that I didn’t appreciate how they didn’t care about my feelings so they asked me to give them examples. I told them whenever I had my wedding, I also had a miscarriage and I didn’t feel comfortable with one of my sister-in-law‘s friends coming, and I was made out to be the bad guy, and they only thought about her and how I ended up giving in and letting her come because I didn’t want her sitting at a hotel by herself so I was still thinking about someone else’s feelings, but no one was thinking about mine and how I was going through a hard time and they of course shut that down and gave excuses.
I gave them another example about how Christmas of 2022 was going to be mine and my husband and daughter‘s first Christmas ever together because he was deployed for our daughter’s first Christmas my dad had also died December 5 of 2022 and I was also supposed to be pregnant by that time but I lost the baby. I didn’t even get to get anything out and explain my side. The only thing I could get out was “like Christmas-“ and she started waving her hands and screaming and sayin “my son was deployed for a year and I lost my dad”(he died in 2019) I was taken back, but I calmly said” my dad died too” and she fires back and yells. “Yeah, but mine was my life “ I shut down after that how dare she say that and try to one up me ? because my dad had just died a few weeks before that Christmas that we were talking about but she made it about her, which honestly proves my point when I told him they didn’t care about my feelings. She turns around and attacks me and makes it about her but I didn’t even have time to explain that I just wanted Christmas morning to be a tradition with my family. My daughter and my husband and I was going through a hard time anyways, so I was trying to say that it upset me that they made it out to people like we didn’t even want them there when they spent a week with us before Christmas. They live 7 hours away so we can’t have the normal grandparents come over Christmas afternoon like everyone else in my family can’t come over for Christmas morning so they shouldn’t be able to either and the point at the end of the day is that we were that’s what we wanted as a family of three to have Christmas mornings with our daughter.
she didn’t talk to me for the rest of that day and the next day they had left early to go see my husband’s grandma at the nursing home that they moved her to and my mother-in-law texted my husband and asked if we wanted to meet them for lunch so we did I said right across from her in a booth and she didn’t even look at me once or speak to me at all when my daughter‘s food came out it was hot so I put it closer to me to try to break up her food and let it cool down each time she would pull it away from me because my daughter was sitting next to her. I would pull it back and take out the bag of chips and then she would pull it back I would pull it back and dump out her green beans and she would take it back. She did it 3 times all while not looking at me and I still was the bigger person and didn’t say anything and continue to act like nothing happened
when we got back to our house, I went to my screen porch for the rest of the time that they were there. My husband and his parents were in our kitchen and when they were ready to leave my husband came and got me and told me that I should come say goodbye, so I stood in the driveway while my husband, my daughter and his parents all laughed, hugged and kissed and said goodbyes, and then she walks up to me and speaks like a robot in a way of not even wanting to come up to me, like it was bothering her that she even had to speak to me and she just said “bye. Love you” in a really rude way over something that she said to me and it’s funny too because in her hand was a homemade Mother’s Day gift that I made her but she’s going to talk to me like that, and ignore me and treat me like that over her yelling at me and putting me down about my pain with my dad. After they pulled out of the driveway , I went back to the screen porch and cried because that’s the first time I fully felt like I wasn’t part of their family and she showed her true colors once I tried to stand up for myself about her being disrespectful to me when for the three years that I’ve been with my husband at this point, I’ve never spoken back to her or disrespected her
for days they ignored us, and I just cried over my dad because he’s gone and it was like throwing my grief in my face and my husband finally told his mom that she needed to apologize to me. She called him and asked to speak to him alone, and I later found out that she was saying that I took everything the wrong way and she didn’t mean it like that. Finally she text me and basically tells me the same thing that she wasn’t saying anything about my relationship with my dad. She was simply saying why she needed Christmas morning with her family. I didn’t accept her apology because it was basically making excuses, but I decided not to hold her accountable and I just simply explain to her that Christmas has never been the same for me since my grandparents died and then I just wanted that special moment with my daughter especially now that my dad it was gone and I moved on from it I for gave her a few months after this happened she came down for my daughters birthday, and it was still awkward and I was still a little hurt by the way she treated me, but I was trying to MoveOn for it for my husband and daughter sake, and even my own.
After May 2023 it seemed like things were going good they would call and the conversations were nice they weren’t lecturing. We finally thought they learned their lesson after the big blowup in May but then fast forward to April 2024.
they came down suddenly in April after coming down a few weeks before just to visit because my husband’s grandma wasn’t doing too good she was in the hospital and they were preparing for her to pass away. I was taking ovulation medication because we were trying to have another baby. I felt very hung over sound out am I anxiety was the worst it has ever been I would cry almost every night because I would almost go into panic attacks so while they were here, I stopped taking the medicine and was still suffering side effects so I try to stay out of the way because I know they were grieving and everything was happening so suddenly for them and I wanted to be there to support my husband, his work schedule was so messed up that he only had a few hours after waking up to be able to go to the hospital before having to leave for work until 1 AM in the morning so I was never able to go with him to see his grandma, but he asked me if he thought she was about to die if I would go with her and I said of course. Well she passed away before we can make it to the hospital and I know everyone was devastated. This was a day after Easter. My husband had to work on Easter so before we even knew the condition of his grandma’s health, we plan to have our own Easter and egg hunt the day after Easter because my husband would be off work, and that is the day that she passed away so I told my husband that we could cancel our egg hunt and he said no because he wanted to be there with our daughter and enjoy that time. I also invited his parents because I thought it would be good for them to get their mind off of things, and I made a bunch of desserts, including homemade cookies that his mother had asked me to make weeks before this for the next time they came down we grilled out and there was gonna be plenty of food for them and I wanted that time with them as well, but I respected that they needed time to themselves after his dad had just lost his mother.
they had been staying in a hotel, the whole time they were here but the day after she passed away, they came over that morning, and our house was a mess because we had a cookout the night before, and my husband was grieving and upset and we were just too tired to clean and we were planning to get it the next morning They wanted to take our daughter to the park and Dairy Queen and we were going to stay back because we both weren’t feeling too well and we were going to clean the house but before they left my husband’s Dad told us “I wish I would come with us.” so my husband told him that we would get ready and meet him there and that’s exactly what we did. We had lunch with them and the little things like forcing her to eat a hamburger when I told him that she like chicken nuggets or taking her drink away and telling her she’s not feeling up on a drink that she’s going to eat always bothered me and there’s always done it but I knew that at this time it wasn’t my opportunity to stand up because he just lost his mom and I didn’t want to start anything not that I would’ve been rude about it but they never take it for what it is. It’s disrespect if we stand up or tell them we don’t like what they’re doing but I told my husband that what happened in May would never happen again.
we were driving my mom’s truck because my husband‘s truck was in the shop and we went to a thrift store while his parents took our daughter to the park at the thrift store. I found an angel that I wanted to gift his dad to show sympathy. I got a few little toys for my daughter to so when we left we were on our way to meet them at the park and that’s when the mechanic called my husband and said his truck was ready. He called his mom to ask if his dad would follow him and get the truck and if his mom will drive my mom’s truck back home because I was under the influence with the side effects of the medication. She then asked if I couldn’t just make it to the park and the mechanics is right behind the park so of course I could have, but I didn’t see the difference of them going to getting it when we were ready to leave the park together or us going and getting it so we went to the park instead so I could give my daughter her toys.
while I was in the truck getting the gifts out for my husband’s dad, my husband went over to explain that I would just feel more comfortable if they went and got the truck because I was under the influence and later on I found out that his mom said “no she’s not, and saying that I was lying” but when I got out of the truck, she was talking all nice to me and explaining that my husband and my father-in-law we’re going to go get his truck and she even told me to watch my daughter for a second while she went and grabbed her drink out of the car and hit my head. I thought that was crazy that she told me to watch my own daughter, but she those are the little things that I let go and let her say because there’s no point of talking back. It always will start something.
if you’re with me so far, this is the end in our current situation. We all got back home and they walked in and saw that our puppy Peed on the floor and they got mad. We tried to let it go because my father-in-law‘s mom just died and there’s no sense of getting into an argument. We went to our neighbors to give them desserts that I had made for a cookout because I didn’t want them to go to waste while we were there. His mom texted him asking if our daughter could spend the night with them in a hotel when we thought they were staying with us first I didn’t say no I just said where is she going to sleep and they said in the bed with us I didn’t like that. I wanted her to be in a crib so we said no but we even called the hotel to ask if they had cribs to rent because somebody in the hotel said no so we were trying to compromise. We got back to our house and they were so mad. They were ready to leave without saying bye his dad was already in the car and his mom was walking out the door and didn’t really wanna speak to us. We asked her what the issue was and they went off. He went to the car to talk to his dad. his dad screamed at him and drove off. I was so upset because there was no reason to treat us like that when we have boundaries with our daughter and they were supposed to stay with us, but they decided that they were too upset about the dog peeing, and that our house was a little messy from the night before that they wanted to stay in a hotel, and they wanted to take our daughter too.
The next day I had an eye doctors appointment that I scheduled months in advance, and my husband had a job interview and they did not communicate when they were coming over so my husband was already gone and I was about to walk out the door. My husband’s grandpa lives right next-door because we moved him down here a few months ago and they were out there talking to him so I let my daughter go say bye to them and they didn’t speak to me at all. again the same treatment like back in May how she didn’t even want to look in my direction or speak to me so I left and they then texted my husband how I just took off with my own daughter, so there was no reason to stick around blaming me, of course.
I understand that his dad was going through a hard time but my husband also just lost his grandma and that just so happen to be my dad‘s birthday. I wasn’t going to make it about me of course not but I still didn’t wanna get yelled at on my dad‘s birthday I wanted to remember him and have a good day. I texted his mom three days after the incident. Nothing about the text was rude. I just told her that I was blown way by the disrespect and I didn’t like how they treated us. I brought back up me and how it was unfair that she thinks she can continue to yell and scream at us and ignore us. she read it and instantly called my husband and tried to bash me and I tried to speak up and she shut me up telling me that she was talking to her son not me my husband told her not to speak to his wife that way and she tries to bash me and say that I didn’t even want to say sorry to my father-in-law for his loss when I tried to do little things like buy him that angel and make cookies for them and I made a grocery order the night they came down and I clean the house and I was expecting to cook dinner for them and host them but they stayed in a hotel the whole time
she bashed us saying that we didn’t even offer them a shower, or anything to drink or anything to eat when they came home but right when we walked in the door is when they started yelling and lecturing us about dog pee, and it went downhill from there so we didn’t even have time to offer anything that they wanted or needed but every time they come over they make themselves at home because their name is on the deed even though we pay for the home, they act like it’s their home and they do whatever they please, so there was no reason we felt like we needed to assist them to the shower or ask if they needed anything even though that morning they got there She asked if I had any Dr Pepper and I said no that I had Sprite and she didn’t want that so at this point she’s just trying to make us look bad like it was our fault and they didn’t feel welcome here so that’s why they went to a hotel that night.
she was so rude and making excuses and disrespecting me not wanting me to talk to her. She kept saying she wanted to talk to her son and not me and she even called me a little girl at that point I had enough I was finally standing up for myself after four years of my mother-in-law saying out-of-the-way things to me and putting me down and lecturing me, I finally had enough I never cussed once at her I never cussed on her because I respect her enough, but I finally had enough of shutting my mouth and letting her talk to me anyway she want it. I told her she was not gonna call me a little girl and that she was going to hear from me because she’s bashing me to my husband, I tried to explain my side, but she kept on and on accusing us and saying that we were the reason for all of this and that they did nothing wrong and keep in mind, we have never raised our voice to them. We have never cussed at them we have never told them. Hey you’re wrong we don’t agree we just let them have their way and we were done May 2023 was our breaking point even though then we still were respectful, this time we weren’t gonna let them have their way and feel like they were right
The next week my husband went to go pick up his grandma’s ashes because before the fight that was the arrangements because they had to go back home to Tennessee he called the funeral home and they said that the day before his mom called and told them that they were coming down for the weekend to get them but they said nothing about that to us and at this point he hasn’t spoken to his dad in a week. he told his mom that he didn’t even feel welcome at the funeral, and that it really upset him. His mom told him that I had nothing to do with the fight, and that his dad simply just wanted his mothers ashes and she made excuses of course later that day she calls and I heard everything she said even though she thought I wasn’t around and she continue to bash me over and over about how everything was my fault, and I never wanted them around our daughter or to have a relationship with her.
it was extremely hard for me to keep my mouth shut for an entire hour when someone’s making things up and bashing you she think those want to say that she’s sick and tired of me calling her a liar, which I’m never said hey you’re a liar I just said that her apology wasn’t sincere and she continued to say that I took it the wrong way when she was bashing me about my dad and tell her that’s calling her a liar because she continues to say she didn’t mean it like that but the reason I brought back up made her was to say she thinks she can continue to talk to me that way and get away with it and that I was tired of it. my husband try to stand up for me and tell her how it made me feel like she was comparing my pain to hers about my dad and then she makes the snarky remark” I actually had a relationship with Mine”. she was talking about her relationship with her dad and comparing it to mine so again she’s throwing up my pain and trying to one up me and again argue on why she should’ve been there Christmas morning and she even said” I was explaining what I needed Christmas morning with my son and his daughter” His daughter???!
after that phone call, everything seem to be fine with his parents and my husband but she was still ignoring me. She wouldn’t call or message me and apologize or even explain herself. She just wanted to bash me to my husband and now everything was cool with them and they came down for a weekend to get my husband’s grandma‘s ashes and they went to the park with my husband and daughter and I decided to stay home because I didn’t want anything to go down and I be blamed for ruining that hard time for his family. My husband said they didn’t even ask about me and I know that they were happy that I wasn’t around because she made a post about how she just needed that time with her son and granddaughter, and everything was worded perfectly but I know that that was a dig at me and every time I would post something about the way I was feeling just little quotes that I see she would always post something as if she was speaking to me. it didn’t matter if it was something to do with disrespect or my daughter, or supporting my husband she would always find a post to relate it about what I’m posting. stuff like “no one could love her children the way she does” when I would post about how I love my husband and that I am there to support him
ever since then she has been calling my husband to bash me and come up with a new reasons on why I am the bad guy and I’m sick of it so if you’ve made it this far, thank you so much for reading my story because I don’t even know what to do at this point my husband wants to cut her off maybe not forever but he wants her to understand that she can’t keep treating me like this and even treating him like this because the last phone call was two days ago when we thought everything was at least cool with my husband and his parents even though I knew she still had a problem with me over things she said to me she calls him and bashes me and tells my husband that he’s not standing up for his parents and that that’s wrong and that that is his blood family and that he should be the hero and fix everything or she’s not gonna want to be around me
i’ve read a bunch of other stories about toxic in-laws, and there’s a lot that are way worse than my situation but I’ve had enough of her talking to me anyway she wants, putting me down, lecturing me, throwing my dad’s death in my face as if her relationship was greater and her pain is worse and I’m just sick of it because I can’t even look at pictures of my dad without crying and regretting and it’s really hard to stand up for myself when someone bashes me and makes themself the victim when I know for a fact, the last four years I’ve been nothing but kind to her. Yes, she has done things for me, but when she treats me bad, she uses that as a way to say “look at everything I’ve done for her and she wants to treat me like this?” just because I stand up for myself when she yells at me and I don’t know what to do so if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I need help

TTPD Twin Storylines weaved together & double meanings throughout! ✌️👯‍♀️💕

**Attention ALL Swifties (particularly Gaylors) and associates of the Tortured Poets department*\*
PLEASE READ!! (and read with an open mind!!)🤍
Listening to the amazing TTPD on repeat this past week, I am almost certain that I have made an important discovery that I haven't seen talked about anywhere else yet and would love to get the coversation going, in hopes that Taylor will see that we are all finally listening to her! I'm still piecing everything together, as there is so much to unravel and am far from calling myself an expert on her exact timelines and dates, so am looking forward to hearing thoughts from others that are more knowledgable in her history.
I have been of the belief for a while now that Mastermind and Dear Reader were foretelling of her future, and also that the album title had a double meaning (evidenced by the lack of apostrophe in 'poets'). That the tortured poet would be departing. Note that I am also a believer that she has been closeted by those closest to her and is preparing to ruin her name and perceived reputation, give up the false public version of herself and come into her own true self. Everything as we know it will be destroyed and it is all playing out now, coming together as part of her plan.
Falling in line with all of the two's - the double album, the double meaning in the album name, the two sides of taylor etc, I have found that there are two intertwining stories told throughout her tracklist, AND that all songs also have a double meaning!! None of which are about the perceived muses of Travis, Matty or Joe. The 'evidence' for those relationships are all red herrings (for example 'putting narcotics into all of my songs' - but only in the songs with obvious reference to her beards), to make it seem ambiguous and open to interpretation of who the songs may be about, which is seen often throughout her discography. She uses an incredible amount of metaphors and we must look beyond those to decipher her lyrics - do not take anything at face level with Taylor. Most should realise that she is so much smarter than making obvious songs about whichever male muse she is 'dating' at the time. She has always played into that public view to cover her true self. Many songs have themes of secret and hidden love, which juxtaposes with the public 'relationships' she is seen as having.
She tells us in 'The Manuscript' that "lookin' backwards might be the only way to move forward". Therefore we must listen to TTPD in reverse, from track 31 (13 reversed!) to track 1. I believe The Manuscript also acts as a bookend for both of her stories and should be listened to as a closer after the last song of the story 'Fortnight' ends, to get a complete picture. Once we have listened to the album in reverse order, can we see so plainly that each song tells a different story of a period/situation/muse/love/heartbreak in her life - beginning at her parents meeting in The Manuscript, to current day. I think the songs may also actually have a sister song from the corresponding album/period in time, with similar sound, lyrics or theme that connects them. I believe that each song also has a double meaning and can be interpreted as messages to her fans about things that have happened to her over the years or that are about to happen, and she is trying to communicate her feelings of being trapped. Many songs relate to her being caged and forced to hide her true self, in particular by one person closest to her - her father. It is heartbreaking to listen to.
The really brilliant part I discovered next, is that The Anthology tracks also have another hidden storyline being told which intertwines and intersects in the exact right place to fit in with her life story. It includes all of the "THE" songs and is in reverse order from the parallel life story and vinyl variants order of issue (but chronological track list order).

1. The Tortured Poets Department
2. The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived
3. The Alchemy
4. The Black Dog
5. The Albatross
6. The Prophecy
7. The Bolter
8. The Manuscript

Rather than presenting my interpretation of the timeline and each story told in every song, I urge everyone to listen to both stories, in these exact orders, with an open mind as to what she could possibly be describing! My mind was completely blown when I figured this out!! Her mind is incredible, there is no other way to describe the album, other than a masterpiece! I feel so much for the pain she has gone through. This album explains her feelings and reasons for hiding her true self over the years for any fans that will inevitably be feeling upset and deceived by her. We all need to show compassion for everything Taylor has sacrificed in her life and give her what she needs. She truly deserves love, honesty, happiness and peace. ✌️💜
I'm in the process of creating a document trying to piece all of the hidden connections together just to wrap my head around this amazing body of work, so may possibly link this when I have it completed, otherwise I might add more info to this post as I go, for anyone that might be interested.
I have a couple of extra personal thoughts, theories and hopes for anyone still reading…
The manuscript of her life story may possibly be the manuscript for a future book/film.
I think one meaning of "Fortnight" is a foretelling message to the fans that havent been noticing any of her many hair pin drops - she has been trying to get the message across but they aren't listening. For the fans she loses when she comes out - she touched them with this album for only a fortnight, before she lost them. She loves the fans but staying in the closet is ruining her life. I think something big could be happening a fortnight after release? Friday 3rd May is International Sun Day. ☀️ Karlie Kloss was always 'sunshine' to Taylor. According to Karlie, their first meeting was at the 2011 Met Gala on May 2, however, there is a possibility that they could have met at the afterparty - after midnight, making the anniversary May 3! Met Gala 2024 is only a few days later, could they both make an appearance and be seen together? If nothing big occurs, perhaps some seeds of doubt will be planted on the 3rd? Or.. It perhaps could it also be a surprise rep TV (with or without Karma?) with either some questionable or obviously queer vault tracks?! Who really knows.. I honestly have no idea, but whatever happens, I know Taylor has it all meticulously planned out and everything will happen when it is supposed to.
Taylor is chairman of the Tortured Poets department - the leader of the mass coming out we are about to see. As Chely Wright put - 'we need someone at the top' to come out and pave the way for others to do the same, and to stop the forced closeting in the celebrity world. I think Travis and a lot of her former beards are also queer and there will be many more 'tortured poets' that will join 'the department'.
Karma will be album 1 (TS12) in the 3,2,1 countdown, TS13 is 0 - the album in which she gets all of her colour back, reclaims her glitter gel pens and finally can sing her truth proudly! When she destroys her own name and reputation for herself, I cant wait to see if she uses original female pronouns for muses in Debut and Rep!
Last of all, PLEASE BE KIND! If anyone has made it to the end of this and doesnt agree, I'd love for you to have a listen to the songs in the orders above before commenting. If not, lets just agree to disagree! We all have our own personal takes on Taylor's lyricism and I would never dream of being unkind to another just for having a difference of opinion. 🫶
For Taylor - if you somehow happen to see this - please know you are truly a mastermind, you are loved and we've got you!
🌈💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛🌈
❤️ gerimegs

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.
-I am a 30-year-old biological female, mentally male most of the time.
• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
-I don't think so. I'm relatively mentally stable, I think.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
-My upbringing was relatively boring. I have my parents and my two younger sisters (28 and 22). I think that my parents were irresponsible for wanting to have children for their reasons. My parents both broke out of religious households and my sisters and I (have one wish before we die and it may sound strange as if our minds are deranged) grew up sans religion. (Extra credit points if you get the reference.)
• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?
-I am employed as a veterinary assistant by my veterinarian mother. Yay, nepotism. I don't really enjoy my job, but I get paid fairly well for the hours I put in. I enjoy working more when it's just me and the vet because then I have way more control over everything than when the other assistant(s) and the receptionist are at the clinic. When it's just me and the veterinarian, I can get the vet and her patient prepared and in surgery, set up for all of the appointments and other surgeries during the day, prepare vaccine certificates, take phone calls and assist clients, get the X-ray table ready, do any bloodwork/urinalysis for patients done, schedule appointments, and overall get everything done how I want to get it done right then.
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
-I could probably spend eons by myself and not get sad or lonely. I can have my surroundings be as quiet as I want them.
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
-I'm not really good at sports, especially team sports. I do like archery, cycling, hiking, weightlifting, kettlebell exercises, weight drafting/pulling and can pull my 1.5 ton car on good days.
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
-First of all, it's *than. I would say that I am pretty curious, I think. I don't really know about executing ideas. I tend to hyperfocus on one thing, if this is what the question is asking. Most my "ideas" are storylines in my head and I have a couple of those. Other more realistic (at least I think they're realistic) ideas are more based on the future of humanity and future civilizations and other crap like that.
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
-I do not want to take on a leadership role. I think if I had someone else to tell what to do who would do what I say would be the best way that I could be a leader.
• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
-Coordinated as in calculated or not clumsy? Well, I enjoy gardening, home improvement, and all of the physical things I said about the sports question.
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
-I am pretty artistic, but not the most. I draw mostly tangible things like dogs, cats, horses, and humans. I also like drawing dragons and aliens and other crap. I would just say that animals and outside scenery are the main focus of my drawing. I also draw some surreal and kaleidoscope-esque things and other things. I am not very good with clay, but I like making tiny clay sculptures. I also like making music. I play a dozen different instruments and use my ability to read music (western notation and tablature) to play with modes, transpose, transcribe, etc my sheet music from lessons and schools in between each instrument. It's a sort of my own little game with my own rules for me. I can do this by ear, but it's more fun and more challenging with actually mapping things out. I also incorporate basic algebra and the FOIL method into my music theory game rules. I don't know if that made sense.
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
-I think we can learn from the past, but it's not something to get hung up on. Wars, genocides, mass extinctions, and more efficient ways of life (on a softer note) are something to consider. I think it's kind of stupid when parents don't understand that their child is an adult and has changed while they won't let the past go, or whatever. For the present, it's just here. I just go along with whatever is thrown my way whether I can take it or not in the end. For the future? I'm not sure. I don't want to sound contradictory to what I said about the present, but while the present is here and is... here, I like to think about what I can be doing in the future. I will reach my 80lb weight loss goal in 1 year, for one example. I will have this sort of "devil on the deep blue sea behind me" moment (another reference of The Police) if I can just figure out how to break those chains that bind me here.
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
-If it's something that I can realistically and physically help them with, then I will help them. If it's something isn't detrimental to me, I don't see why not. If I can't help them with something, then I will point them to something or someone who can.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
-Yes.
• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?
-It is very important. I think it should be important to everyone. Like I said in an earlier question, I like to take charge of the productivity because then I know it will get done correctly even if it's not done how someone would like it done.
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
-Yes and yes. As said earlier, I get everything in my external surroundings prepared exactly how I think it should be done and everyone else (whether coworker or client, at least in the workspace) just follow with what I already have set up. Other than at work, I don't really interact with other people all that much, so I just have control over people at work.
• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?
-My hobbies are the exercise things and "art" things that I mentioned earlier along with reading books. I enjoy them because they are essentially an escape from reality as well as that I make a little money from taking drawing commissions for art roleplay games, so there's something to that. The exercise and music are more for helping my mind and body. I can come home to walk on my treadmill for an hour, do some deadlifts, and then play bass a little bit once I have exerted myself, for a small example.
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
-I could have done better in school with how smart I was (my teachers would pull me out of class and would nag me about my grades). I had to have paras in some classes for some reason, but they and the teachers both sucked at explaining things to me in ways that I would understand. I think my science and band classes had the highest grades. I was bad at math and with understanding what my English literature and writing teachers were trying to teach me. TLDR for this is that I can't learn things on other people's terms. For school in specific, if I had dropped out and learned the world my way without the pressure of grades, I probably would have learned things a lot quicker. I like a lot of things now that I hated learning in school. I know that this question isn't all about school. I think logic and creativity would be most how I prefer classes. With science classes and band, I could easily use both.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
-This depends on the task. I have a bunch of notes that I make for myself regarding a task so that I can come back and either do it the same if it works or change it if it messed up. Usually, I start something completely new sometimes by winging it and piecing things together to what works in the most convenient way.
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
-Well, like I said before, I'd like to lose 80 more pounds by the end of this year. I'd like a different career and to move out of the current state I live in. I'd also like to keep myself independent for the rest of my life.
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
-I don't really have any fears. Smalltalk and hyper people make me uncomfortable. People trying to "help" me with things I've already planned out because they think their way is better without thinking things through or explaining why their way is better annoy me. Clients who come in and tell some dumb sob story about how their dog was badly abused by its previous owner and about how sick it makes them to think about it annoy me. Do they abuse their dog? No. The dog is with them, now. They need to stop worrying about the dog's past because the only "trauma" their dog has now is its owner's negative and irrational emotions towards the past situation.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
-My highs are that pretty on top of the world feeling. It can be little things like getting my rent, utility bills, and car payments done on time. I also am more mentally "aggressive" if that makes sense. Usually, I keep my highs internal. I don't really know how to explain the non-sensory highs.
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
-The lows are me being externally crabby, no motivation to do anything, naggy, eating an ungodly amount of unhealthy and savory food. I think "bitchy" is a good way to describe it.
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
-What is spatial awareness? I am aware that I am here, but I feel very detached from my body almost constantly. I can completely lose myself in whichever of my storylines I want to. I do it at work a lot where I can just autopilot my body while my brain goes to LaLa Land.
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
-If it's a blank and empty room, that sounds like prime breeding grounds to just zone out and not think about anything. If I get bored, I can revisit my internal storylines and look for something in their to either start a new storyline or go back and rewatch one of my other filed storylines. I often like to think about if I were to trade bodies with an unrelated biological cisgender male and about the differences that I would experience like what having a higher center of gravity would feel like, for one. Another thing is what a civilization would do with having to harness radiation from black holes to use as power.
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
-This depends on the situation. If it's a pet that broke its back and has no use of any of its legs, that's an automatic euthanasia. Other times, because I have no examples right off the top of my head for this, it can probably take a while for it to mull over.
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
-So, everyone's emotions are valid, but they should not let them get in the way of logic. I feel pretty calm most of the time, but sometimes there will be one thing that just sets me off and then I get passive aggressive and snappy. These times are all shallow and short-lived, though.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?
-Not really. I don't like talking to people just to talk and I will tell them what I think if they ask for my opinion. If something comes up in their conversation that I can reply to, if it's something I disagree with I'll answer them so long as they will listen without interrupting my point of view. If they get hissy with me for disagreeing, then they shouldn't have asked for my opinion. This only goes for people who engage in conversation with me. I do not seek out conversation with others unless it's important information.
• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?
-I break rules if the rule in place doesn't make sense. If the rule does make logical sense, then I'll follow it. I follow most rules at work, but sometimes I'll be extremely honest with clients and tell them things that I think they need to hear even if the vet yells at me later for it. She usually puts the receptionist and me in charge of bluntness, though, because she can't bring herself to hurt her clients' feelings. In the real world, this also depends on the rules broken because I don't want to do something against the rules (speeding, for instance) and have to fork money over for a ticket or go waste time in a court of something that could have been avoided if I had followed the rule in the first place. Authority figures depend on the person in charge. Some of them do and some of them don't. I don't know what else to say about this. I think it's pretty straightforward.