Bin weevil cheats temple

Feedback on my first two attempts was comprehensive and appreciated. I'm struggling for clear comps at the moment as what I've read in the last while doesn't fit, so any suggestions to check in on would be grand.
Dear AGENT
LINEAGE is a 96,000 word science fantasy novel comparable to ___ for its ____ and ___ for ___. It is a standalone novel with series potential.
Noah Kiers has to get out of here. Last night his girlfriend confessed she’s been cheating on him for months; his head is spinning. So, when some stranger writes to him saying he’s to be brought to Gesmet, an unknown city-state he must somehow save despite knowing nothing of it… he thinks it’s some silly prank. The letter goes in the bin. Except, he’s spent the first twenty-five years of his life believing he was an only child, and this stranger claims to be his sister. It's at least worth asking his parents.
It wasn’t the first letter. This stranger they’ve never met, Simone, has been sending his parents money in the form of gold, jewels and artwork, but even they hardly know why. They’ve never even met her. Neither of Noah’s parents claim parentage of Simone, and she doesn’t claim to be their daughter, yet the letters are adamant she’s Noah’s sister. Police, even private detectives have never been able to find this woman. Determined to escape his messy heartache, to meet Simone and get the answers his parents couldn’t, Noah lets himself be taken.
Gesmet needs no saviour. They already have a beloved, all-powerful dictator. A man with no title but with seemingly limitless and impossible abilities, Oscar has made a utopia, and it is not on the world Noah knows. The glittery ever-red sky covers a city without homelessness, thirst, hunger or pollution. It seems like a paradise, but Simone keeps dodging his questions and instead makes him rub elbows with Gesmet’s influential figures. He soon realises the only thing that needs saving is her political standing and the polls of the candidate whom she is pushing for President.
Politicking overshadows his heartbreak so he sees her flashy promise of his own fantastical powers as hollow. It would only make him more useful; prominent to the public and an easy way to pull more votes. A glorified PR stunt in her campaign against the powered, factional family who puppeteer Gesmet's presidential candidates. He grows resentful at being used and plans to earn Oscar’s favour to get back home. Oscar will never send him back, but with Noah’s fantastical and political power rising from nowhere he must see if the young man is better tamed or dead. After all, no-one leaves Gesmet.
First 300:
Monday
Bird
Noah lifted the diamond to his eye and watched the blueish sunrise through his window with dead eyes. The light seemed beautiful until it blinded him, and he dropped the fist-sized jewel on his foot. Grunting in pain, he hopped around it while the Beige thing he unconsciously unsaw stepped out of his way. He shook his leg and slammed the diamond onto his dresser as the Beige silhouette pressed against his wardrobe.
“Hey, you okay?” Dani shouted.
“Yeah, fine, just stubbed my toe.”
He got dressed in his haggard black jeans and wool turtleneck and pushed on two gold band rings. He was permitted only to notice his own reflection in the window where he saw yesterday’s unwashed hair gel had become todays mohawk. He couldn’t be bothered changing it; he knew he looked like a walking hangover and figured itd be nice to start the day off with a laugh, even if it was at himself. Then he did a double take at his blue-speckled window.
The Beige waited unflinching as Noah climbed back over his bed. He couldn’t wipe the blue specks off. Opening it halfway, he reached outside and up and smeared the dust everywhere. Inspecting his dyed hand it smelled like nothing and washed off faster than paint. Seeing only himself in the bathroom mirror, he smiled at his hair and went downstairs.
“When did you go goth?” Dani asked as he came into the living room. Smiling lifted the deep bags under his eyes.“At least it’s not raining, so you don’t have to worry about that ruining your look.”
“I was thinking of keeping it, just for you.”
Dani took out her phone and pointed the camera at him, “Let’s see what Rita has to–”
“No,” he was across the room, hand on her phone, “thanks.”

Well as the title says its pretty self explanatory. Im 19 and have just about had enough. I left home at 15 due to being neglected, physically abused, emotionally abused and sexually abused from the ages of 2 onwards every day of my life. i witnessed my dad smashing my mothers face in each night and her doing the same to him as well as being so drug fucked they weren’t able to look after their children nor feed them bath them or anything. As well as the fact we were so poor my mother would pick the mould off my only bread rolls for lunch thats when i was lucky enough to even get a roll for lunch. When i left home for the better at 15 i moved into refuges alone cut off my family and at the age of 16 i met my most recent ex girlfriend we stayed together for three years till i waked in on her cheating on me with my roomate from one of these refuges which sucks bc she was the only person i have truly been able to trust then me and him got into a fight he then had me charged my police and the refuge sends me 3hrs away by myself away from everything ive known. 5 months later i get kicked out and am forced to live with my father another 4hrs away. So this is where i am now and i genuinely cannot keep going. There are sex dolls all through my house i step on shattered meth pipes daily when i leave a trail of blood around the house you best believe im in lots of trouble for it even tho there are no bandaids and its not really my fault to begin with. There is no bin i cannot wash my clothes or even myself there are just weird gross drug things everywhere im sick of having to avoid stabbing myself with a used needle each time i open the cutlery draw or have to wash the burn marks off each spoon i use. And this is every single day. Im also sick at the moment i can barely breathe probably due to bongs but my father just genuinely doesnt care for my health hes a narcissist who will interrupt me and tell me i dont have any issues its him that has issues. I can barely breathe and this man will take away my puffer bc all of a sudden “he cant breathe either” not that he would give it back and its small things like that keep building up every damn day i cant get a break also the fact im so paranoid i feel like im genuinely being raped in my sleep.and i onow he is going through my room when im not here I hate it here i choose to spend my nights in a busted homeless tent in abandoned building wit junkies with my friends getting fucked up. theres nothing to eat nowhere to shower or be alone hes consistently listening to me bc hes always outside my room and he never sleeps like ever he will blast music at 4am hes like on a bender 24/8 i am giving up i have no therapist bc he ruined that for me by telling them im fine i have no one no family i can actually rely on or even open up and talk to them about whats happening for me or that i genuinely need help or friends either i have the worst mental health issues and they are only getting worse - i jump onto train tracks without even processing what im doing i keep almost killing myself and no ones helping me i need to get out of here i cant walk bare foot or my feet will turn black no refuges will take me and im only staying here because im being given free drugs almost everyday and now i have even more of a problem i feel like im back at the beginning. I genuinely cant eat wash myself sit in a clean space there is shit everywhere i cant cook i can barely walk out of my room i cant do the things i enjoy doing because this place stops me from doing them. I feel so alone and so hungry lol ive lost 19kg in the past 2 months alone as well as our house gets broken into at least once a fortnite and im a female who is very gay and has lots and lots of trauma and doesnt like men and there are at least 6 men including my dad here daily who are creepy as fuck and who just came outta jail. Im sick of the hood and i feel like my human rights are non existent.

I have fallen in love with your film...when and how did you decide to make Do Aur Do Pyaar(don't like the title, though)?
I have always been interested in what happens to all those perfectly in-love couples that we show in our films. What happened to Raj and Simran after running away on the train at the end of DDLJ twenty years later? Where are they now? Have they become flatmates instead of lovers? What happens when the initial chemistry has worn off and love becomes a habit. This has always fascinated me. I see people around me struggling with this in our modern lives - to hold on to this Hallmark version of love, with so many distractions, with social media. Real Love is not a straight line - its cyclical. It comes and goes. The songs and books all lied.
You wanted to demolish myths about perfect love?
So when my producers Swati Iyer and Tanuj Garg brought this story to me, an adaptation of an independent American film called The Lovers by Azazel Jacobs, I jumped at the opportunity of telling a story of love which was lived in and more real. This was in 2020 just before Covid hit - it's taken four years to finally bring this story to you.
Are you deterred by the low opening? Don’t be, your film is destined to be recognized as a piece of art.
Hahahaha. Thank you so much for the kind words. I'm not deterred by the low opening. I simply wanted to tell this story honestly and to the best of my abilities - and hopefully if I have managed to do that it will resonate with some people. That's all I can do as a storyteller. But I'm hoping because of the positive word of mouth, more people will discover the film and fall in love with our characters.
It is very different from the original source, Lovers. What prompted you to adapt the original film and then the structural changes?
Like I mentioned, I liked the one liner of the original film. But the movie itself was off beat and culturally very different. The writers, Suprotim Sengupta and Eisha Chopra did a fantastic job of making the structural changes. I loved their idea of taking my protagonists Ani and Kavya back to her hometown to rekindle their chemistry. I specially loved the idea of them disrupting a funeral and not say a wedding which is the traditional Bollywood choice it seemed more fun and fresh. They made the characters much more nuanced and fun and relatable for our audiences than the original.
The casting is magical. This is Vidya Balan's best ever. Was she your first choice? Was it difficult convincing her? I can't imagine what you would have done had she not agreed!
I agree. I got lucky. Vidya was absolutely the first choice. She brings a vulnerability and beauty and warmth to the role that no one else could have. You can't take your eyes off her. There is no lie in her fire. I don't think this film would happen without her. Pratik Gandhi is an absolute surprise and delight. He plays the Bengali nerd with such affection.
Tell me about his casting? We knew we had to cast someone who could hold his own against the acting powerhouse that Vidya is. Also, Ani’s character would do things which audiences might construe as wrong. Ani shouldn't come across as someone smug and revelling in the cheating and adultery but actually be confused and messed up. And Pratik nails that.
Their dance together! Bin tere sanam will never be the same again?
It’s such a fun catchy song. It was Suprotim’s idea to use that song. He made us watch the original video in which the hero heroine do strange dance moves in front of some thin malnourished cows. The producers and I knew straightaway we wanted those dance moves in our film. And Vidya and Pratik killed it!
Sendhil and Ileana have one thing in common: their cheechee angrezi...What made you pick them?
They just fit their characters very well. We knew we couldn't give them too much screen time. So they had to really stand out. Ani and Kavya were looking for things in Sendhil and Ileana that they couldn't find in each other anymore. We always thought of the four characters together as an ensemble. They complemented each other Kavya was vivacious and larger than life. Ani was sincere and laid back. Nora was neurotic and needy. Vikram was independent and very hot. And most importantly, they had the same quality that Vidya and Pratik have-they look and feel relatable and likeable. And we feel for their story arcs as well, which was very important for the movie to work. They should seem credible threats to the marriage.
Shirsha, your brilliant film begins as double love triangle but eventually it settles down to sanctioning the institution of marriage. What according to you holds a modern marriage together?
I wish I had the answer. I feel every marriage or relationship will have their own keys. But for me personally I feel - for a long lasting marriage - its important to be friends, its important to talk, its important to fight, its important to be comfortable with each other. It’s a very underrated romantic word. Comfort. You need to be each other's comfort food. Find your own Chicken 65.
If this film was made in the 1970s, it would be directed by Basu Bhattacharya, sans the humour of course. Who are your inspiration?It will sound cliched because I am Bengali. But Satyajit Ray, of course. The simplicity and beauty and humanity in his storytelling, agnostic of whatever the genre, will always be my biggest inspiration. Then of course, Hrishikesh Mukherjee, Wong Kar Wai, Sam Mendes and Alexander Payne.
That entire chunk where Kavya and Ani visit her home in Ooty is not in the original film. It could have been an autonomous film, don't you think?
Honestly, that's my favourite part of the film. That was the only part we could really open it up, have lots of other characters, more fun, more music, before things became really messy back in the smaller, more real world. The surroundings were beautiful, the actors and characters and faces were lovely, it had so much flavour. Given a choice I would stay in that world for ever - but then real life crept in. Exactly like it did for Ani and Kavya. In our heads there was a separate movie in Ooty with Kavya and Ani's college romance and running away and the scandal in the Ganeshan household. We just didnt show that to you.
The spoken lines by all the four protagonists are the best I have heard in years, my favourite being 'I feel homesick when I am not with you'. Where did these wonderful words come from?
All that is Suprotim, Eisha and Amrita Bagchi. The writers. Given that we wanted to make a very lived-in, real love story, they had the difficult job of writing dialogues that sounded real and everyday and yet keep it engaging. Sometimes the simplest things can sound so beautiful or funny. Like my favorite line is , 'Kabhi Kabhi shayad pyaar kaafi nahin hota'. It’s such a simple thought but it's so layered , and it is the heart of our film. It goes against everything our films generally tell us : that it’s all about falling in love and once you are in love, its absolute and forever. It is not.
https://www.timesnownews.com/entertainment-news/bollywood/do-aur-do-pyaar-director-shirsha-guha-thakurta-says-she-is-not-deterred-by-low-opening-exclusive-article-109610987

I recently had to properly kick my first ever player, things got a little intense between us for it and well left me on the all sorts of spectrum of emotions sides. I just had to get both feelings and my logic for the reasons for this removal of at the start, a good player and good guy and character that.. to me just started to not be. Maybe to just vent out, maybe to see if I was justified, but also to hope that, if there were points I didnt see or think of at the time that someone can help me think better if a scenario ever bubbles up like this, I have a better headspace to go about things right.
To start, I am more or less a newby forever DM (1 oneshot game to my belt under as a player), my current running campaign is only my second, going 2 years strong now. Its been bumpy recently do to my work schedule last few months but we are nearly up to our 100th session together and things have begun to heat up story wise and excitement wise by my players. Everything's in the story is homebrew more or less, both my own works and others I found and my players bring up to me.
At the start of the game, I had 5 starting players, and the one in question was one of them. We lost a few of them, first sadly I more suggested he leave, as much as he wanted to play, it was to the point he was playing while traveling via busses, planes and others (he traveled alot for his daily life events he couldnt get out of) an never mentioned when these would happen. That went smooth, we were both polite and I wasnt upset with them, just upset a good player like him will have hard times with finding a table. Better ways, would have been having a blast with them to this day. The second was starting to act up, I had to shoot him down a bit hard at times, more so when a new player, a girl, joined up an he started being a bit inappropriate and not act like the character he told me he would be. After I started blocking his more chaotic antics, he pretty much ghosted the group all together. Our third player who left is more on a prolonged hiatus cause of his work schedule, but he keeps in contact. So as far as the original party goes there are only two, with the first whom replaced our enthusiastic but unable to stay with us player being 'Miss 3 1/2's'.
With most of that out of the way, I can get onto the player in question. Again, he was there from the start, only second in my player search to start this campaign. Wanting to play a neutral good paladin who grew up a simple farmers life and was on a life walk-about to enrich himself before his turn to take over the family farmlands. At the start things were bit fine, he showed a general interest to hooks that kinda developed in the intro fight, making some good goofy aspects with his character and interactions and at least at first, an interest to some of the things in the world at the time. But looking back, I did likely trust him with a bit much, the other characters likewise were very 'go with teh flow' but they liked to investigate and get into things outside the city that they were given slight hero titles to after the start of things. With him though, he did 'actively' have his character go to get the town effective 'quest board' and ask around if people needed help with things... and.. not tell the other PC's about it or try an start the missions or plots.
While in itself it wasnt 'bad' people also trusted him a bit as 'the note taker' at first, so maybe we just expected him to go into things later or something, but, this became something I was concerned of with him on it. I mentioned his own story progression aspects from the start of the game, well, when given a lead that would let him undo a poor families ailment he showed interests too with time to go at least check it.. he suddenly invented a sister for his character.. who was getting married, back in his home country, that they 'had' to visit right then an there.
He had been vague about his characters history, he may have mentioned a sister 'in passing' but nothing ever set in stone besides his Grandfather being the true head of the farm and his dad. Not even anything about his characters mother, an now suddenly he wanted to spend a week or two travel via air ship to go see a 'new fiance' on top of it. I admit, I wasn't too happy but I also didnt outright pull him to the side to talk about that. Mark against me I know.
But it kind of worked out, as because no one could do much since he was kinda blocking the group from reaching the intended quest givers that he swore he would get with (2 of the other remaining characters at the time mostly had their stuff working on things they were trying to do that wasnt too crazy but at least progressed their characters in ways). And Miss 3 1/2 wasnt sure of her character at the time so played a temp one to feel out being another class and style for a bit. It helped her bloom a little. They ended up helping another little quest idea i had for halloween, late it was, but had fun with it an great action. But do to how that took an bad dice rolls which I do no flub or such, they got sidetracked from things an had to go back to go onto a quest 3 1/2 got them to.. an he wasnt exactly actively happy or doing the quest (guard a noblewoman on a quest to one of the countries for buisness matters. Kinda.. avoided the woman in weird ways.. like trying to push the hotel cooks asideto 'show them how its done'..).
When the crew finished with it, it was with another teaser to quest lines he was kinda pinning the group with. Again unfortunately the rest were 'kinda' okay with his choice on it but they were doing a bit more to be active now so it wasnt likely to work out for long. Around this time is when 'Work Haitus' had to sadly step away, so i started to put feelers out for new players again. During this time, he was still kinda pulling back on things as best he could, but he started to show a.. interesting trait. He wanted to start 'grinding' for EXP.. without going into the literal forest where some creatures could be faught, instead, he went to the city coliseum. Now this was explained since session one, I dont give any real EXP for fights there, quit literally if you have a fun sparing match or a more rough bloody match in it against a tamed or caught creature or class person, you'll only end up with 1 xp point. I did this cause I heard of a number of stories of 'those' players showing up, going to fight pits to make themselves stronger an not bother with rp time stuff. But I also tweaked it, so you could make bets for yourself, and the boon of prize and noterity (IE, people start being more favorable to you, seek you out that sort of stuff.. which considering he had so many 'hidden to activate quests' at this point wouldnt have mattered either way). He very quickly stopped after his 2nd or so solo attempt and made a passing comment on being upset of it. I overlooked that time.
During this, the entire party collectively was sought out, as the city knew 'all of them' roughly, so no reason only someone looking to the quest board would be involved alone. They were given a new quest by a neighboring kingdom, to deal with monsters they had ties with from the start as an already active side-story plot. He kinda 'backed' a bit into doing his characters 'im off to clean the broom closet' antics during some of this.. alot.. so looking back it feels he was upset not only was he not 'in charge' of getting the quests, but that the whole party agreed to be invovled with it regardless of anything else. I did try to bring him bback in, by having that Sister and her Fiance appear to meet them since he couldnt make the meeting.
There was some .. issues.. he kinda started to instantly mistrust the fiance, he litterally used 'every' detection spell he had on them trying to sus if they were demon, enregy or otherwise. An more or less ignored the sister even when she asked him his plans on things.. an since he 'left the sibling things to me besides she pranks him maybe' he didnt seem thrilled that she was upset the 'Lord title' brother, who won plots of land in this country an was going to open, I kid you not, an 'Pizzaria Inn petting zoo pet super plant farm forge and factory' on said plot of land with 'secret super caves our befriended monster friend will terraforming for us'. Short version of the monster thing.. monster had no such ability and at best had very tiny cute versions of itself digging out the cave, one pebble at a time.. this is when i noticed he sort of 'half' listened to details given.
I will admit, I wanted to have a moment where the sister was going to become some sort of 'rival', if she couldnt find way to convince the older men who are currently running the farm that big bro might have more important things to do as 'a Lordship hero paladin' maybe its time to break 'the men run the farm' tradition. In character he was warned 'she really wants your farm, and as someone whose seen people go extremes maybe you should reach out to her so its not so bad an no bad blood has to happen'... he kinda took it that she wants him dead, sorta. Took a bit with the informer to correct it.
He .. 'kinda' tried to 'make it up to her' i think by baking her favorite pie an admittedly as a nice act gave her his holly symbol which was the family's given by grandpa to him.. no biggy as the city hade a temple of his goddess to get a replacement soo.. yeah. Honestly I did talk with him a little on it.. but this is when another aspect started being apparent.
I hadnt mentioned, but I am not a fan of no call no show specially when we had a constant schedule, he had a few, but 'did' sorta apologize, at first. We do everything discord and roll20, so when he starts to not appear i would '@' the group and then '@' via DM's, and there maybe 'weeks' to 'months' if theres nothing 'important' to talk to me about response wise. And at the start of those times he started missing alot. An also, not apologizing or saying why. He doesnt always have to I know, but given we were having fewer players, wed have sudden 'we cant plays' cause it was 2 people only..
Then, we get introduced to not one or two but three new players. I kinda worried with them being prior friends and click group but its been working out for most part. Timing for ones admittedly stunk, an their on a personal leave Im not faulting but having their character background for now. They show up, an their characters, well starting at high level for at least 2 fresh faces an one long term one is a little odd, but its been fun. They instantly get into their characters mindsets, weird quirks that fit their upbringings and own style of things, but they also work as a functional communicating and asking questions group with slight airs of 'they are not lower class but deal with both from the noble side of things' air to them. Again its worked out, given they lost a litter hard hitter the three work great.
As the plot went, they were actually being lured away by a group who they helped bust antics an get called out on it in the city, the bait was just 'oh it might be the same type of monster you guys are looking for who might eat an entire city', done via a modified memory spell on the patsy. They were lead to a campsite the badguys set up to be a kill/trap spot.. It was a bit rough with things, but the group was doing 'amazingly' well. But I had an even bigger surprise for everyone, to take our game to a new level an give a 'big' meaty plot hook to hype and put every character on an equal 'i dont know anyone around here/dont have the same resources you do' foot from how the characters went, as an idea to build their bonds.
The trap, got ambushed, by a big honken monster I teased the first players with barely into session 4 that was a corps but came back. An this thing was a beast, CR minimal 20+ an higher (i suck at figuren the maths) but yeah, it was 'not' a winnable fight they could escape from that even the badguys said 'truce till were not monster food???'
It blew apart the trap-badguys, an sent the PC's hurdling into a space that was supost to be instant death, but plot armor I intended for em saved them if only 'barely' but now, their in ' a ocean like space between the outter realm and multi realms', with faint contact by the holly characters gods saying 'theres a way back, you must return'. including to the Paladin an 3 1/2 (who is cleric).. and honestly, everyones raved to me about it.. but looking back agian, given lack of Paladins communications 'out' of his appearances in game.. he hasnt said much, unless someone else starts it..an even then its.. barely a sentence..
The players were picked up by 'friendly pirates' an have been discovering things and gaining new strengths.. least, most of them again. 3 1/2 really bounded with the new NPC's an been expanding their character (shes been very creative that way an shes really gotten into the player bug, im sooo happy i could get her into the hobby) the new players had their growths too, the full slightly higher brow noble of them has come to terms 'hes mortal an can die, but people need his strength' too, as well as 'living is hard.. their not just 'dirty' or something by chance its just the efforts of their brow' to the sorceress of his friends being delighted to be sailing the seas with quirky merman, turtle an other type pirates with treasures an jerks to kick in the seat of the pants. Even the other first player has tried new character aspects, trying to be a 'new version' of himself till an event happened (which he half told me of, but it was more workable then 'sudden sister quest').
But.. paladin has been a bit more missing an sadly we have had spotty game times cause this is when my own work schedule has been bad. An again, he never gets back or says 'oh sorry cant make it' or whatever happened. I brought up a bit ago about his passing remarks of the exp thing for this point to make, he doesnt like to have his character have much of my homebrew stuff.. despite how many treasures hes had that hes just gone 'i sell it' or 'eh if you want it take it dont want it' that has been (a) a plot starter, or (b) a pretty handy if maybe OP item, hes just passed them off even from session z where I give every player chances to pick a unique thing for their character that helps tie them to the world. He opted out of it, an through everything they have done an gathered.. hes held onto a grand total of 2 homebrew things.. a sword, that after a 'certin point' he used as his hexblade warlock focus point with his goddess also being his patron, and 'one' spell that I had to reach out to offer him, well, technically '2' spells. One that he could use to turn a mundane object into a powerful magic weapon, an a ritual spell that he needs to cast to regain uses of the other spell.
The reason this ties to the EXP block from the coliseum bit, is because as part of the ritual to regain usages, he has to create a small 'choke point' of a ritual spell ring to fight an unending horde of monsters that the spell summons to fight just him. Now, the monsters are extremely low level, like 1/4 cr, an they wont try an kill him, as the ritual ends when hes KO'ed. It took a bit before he had to properly cast it in ession (big surprise, had him recharging it on some of the missing day's of his). But when eh did, an he finished it, he did instantly ask 'how much exp to i get?' an kinda grew hushed when I said 'you.. get your six usages of your spell back?'. I.. low key wonder if he wanted to try an use it as a cheat to grind or something..
This also does not help that, just prior, 3 1/2 managed to do our 'biggest' damage in a single round during a hord fight, literally between her spells an a new weapon with some seriously amazing rolls, did over 200 hp of damage on her own. To the point she KO'ed the boss monster leader. granted it was with a smart play and some literal crit hits, but thats when his vibe for games started kinda feeling off big time. An come now, to the more recent events before the kick..
I had a rare day off i could have a game completely unhindered, an we agreed to all have it.. sadly starter 2 forgot the US has Daylights saving, so we did loose an hour for him getten outta work. Eh it happens. An sadly the new 3 didnt get to join in so it was an agreed on one shot. Well, that 'was' the idea..
When we started.. when we 'could' have started, I gave them the quick plot of how they got to this place (this all happened just before the event with the pirates so they had their stuff but meta'ed they were still their current levels). Now, Im loose with my own OS's, so I used a module i bought that looked fun an it was interesting. I did have to build a bunch of rough doubles of the maps, since turns out the PDF didnt want to let me get the pics right at the time, so wasnt focusing too much on some details but for key point ones. Its important for later. But anwyay after the basic 'you did a hero thing an was invited to a small isle city by its noble ruler who has big parties every week an your the guests of honor', you know the usual kinda crud. Well i started to get into the start of it, about to go to details of the maps location.. when he, stopped me an blocked me to go 'oh i climb the building or whatever to get that gun!'.....there was unfortunately an image of a gun on the part of the token i used to build the maps clocktower..didnt notice it.. he sure did.. an kinda derailed me a bit more..reminder, we were an hour late into session.
I managed to get back on track, the security at the start of the party line stoppen the crew an saying 'sorry its a costume party, dont worry we always have spares, pick one' an they got to pick a set of masks for themselves. They rolled to take turns, he got first dibs, an picked one he 'really liked', but I do kinda wonder cause my tag name relates to what it was.. Well, I sent them the screenshot of the masks an their effects as an item/equip card... he started to.. get sour sounding.
In prior in between an pre game times, hes mentioned hes.. not exactly a fan of alot of stuff. Even some of the oldest movies an comics that are still being made now an are big on fandoms, hes got zero interests or cares for.. an on troupes, he is not big on mysteries. An sadly, the mask gave him an ability thats great in discovering secrets...
Well, I started to bring one of the moduels NPC's to start pointing out details, give them some hook bits an background to what goes on normally in the city... and.. he used that one use ability to check if she liked her mask.. literally stepping the entire conversation, then walked away to break into that clocktower.. that had the guns on it..
3 1/2 an second 1'st decided 'lets try an get on with the actual story regardless' an tried to go to the party which they did, trying to get him to come with too, crossing the small castle bridge to get to there an start mingling as they do.. paladin did 'eventually'.. but first he shimmied the bridge to use up his stealth abilities from the mask... then when 3 1/2 noticed, tried to get him to come in, he... started climbing to the top of the castle wall..
His character, never acted like this, in any OS we had before or in game before. Second 1'st did do a little weird, but it was stuff his character was infamous for, but not good for the long run. I admit.. I lost my cool, I didnt shout, yell, or otherwise.. but at this point, from when we 'late started', to paladins 3'rd athletic roll to scale the building he was invited for, we had lost over 2 hours of our usual session time an it was very apparent he was really not going to act like the character we were accustomed to.. so I said, 'sorry guys, see you next time'.. admittedly, I did kinda vent in our group chat text wise.. I was pretty upset an tired i cant lie on this, i had spent very early hours on the maps an looking over to familair most of the thing as best i could while having lack of sleep beforehand. But, I basically just said, if you dont feel up to a game please just say so cause putting all that time en effort for even a one shot was time an tiring thing an just frankly kinda rude antics for no reason just hurt.... didnt use cures or otherwise but that was about it..
It did help that, the group reached out to me about it, even both our Hiatus ones.. everyone but Paladin who kinda went back to basic no coms with me pretty much like norm.. he kinda missed a few more sessions between then to now.. so lets get to what became the last straws of the DM..
So, in the 'undersea' places, the crew realized that, the party had something they could use with their nations rulers to try an breach peace with the races that was locking everyone up in this space between the multiverse, to escape some big dangers thats happening here. This thing was second 1'sts 'tie in starting choice' i gave the first party options too an hes loved ever since, giving his character a level of importance. Of course there is the risk the guys could go 'we dont need 'them' for just 'that'. but thankfully its the nicer space sea folks side so thankfully its all negotiations. I rolled beforehand to see what outcome would happen.. not the best roll but it was one with surprising good results but the meeting was postponed with the intended target cause.. well the system got fragged as they sent the unintended invite back to the outer realms and their time slot to reach out to there was lost. So the party an the friendly pirate captain npc buddy was told 'come back in several months well try again'. The captain was telling the leaders 'oh sure no problem' while giving a 'if we dont find you guys a way back to your side of the world to stop that big bad monster for good first 'wink' to them..
An paladin.. confronted an tried telling the nation guys the details in a... weird way. I really dont know how to explain how he said it it still sounds weird to me. But he basically wanted too.. convince the nation that 'the party' could end all their troubles.. against a hord of demons an undeads effectively 'not understanding' the monster that threw them here was not one of the creatures in question. Which even after i pointed out 'if he couldnt do more than 13 points of damage to that thing, how would he think he can beat the monster he 'thinks' made it?'... which on that matter, he was told multiple times it wasnt.
Well, the rest of the gang tried to talk reason to him, even pull him aaway.. an i had made split choice of the captain decided to put a 'command bracelet' on him, effectively 'if you fight the order given you get zapped an paralyzed'. telling him 'please stop an lets talk about this somewhere 'safe'... because the party and them werent safe..
People in the sea space place, dont like people 'from their side' not that any survive coming down to there. Again, they survived via their plot armor's they dont even fully get yet. With the leadership litterally saying to him before the captain dragged him to the doors a bit 'let them hang for all we care'...
Well, paladin passed the check against the paralyze effect (again, i give honest rolls unless absolutely necessary which i dont like doing..) an.. he had his character chop his hand off, use every will save till he passed the players spells an use his tp abilities to get out of any grapple an ran into the building to more or less brow beat the leaders into listening to him...I made a choice as the captain npc... an ran for the ship to get the heck out before his crew would be arrested an maybe killed for hiding the PC's, an the other PC's likewise, ran for the hills too with them saying 'your mad if you do this'..
That is where that session ended, he made a passing comment 'guess ill reroll a character for the time being'... an he never showed up for the following one despite knowing 3 weeks in advance..though it turns out he 'did' roll stats for a character after I left the chat an roll20... an 'then' designed his character... which at first i was iffy but gave him a sheet to fill in to go ahead an start worken it, not knowing he had pre existing stat rolls for it or clearing that with me.. something I dont like..
Well, cant say i fault him for not knowing this, none of them did.. but there was a planned event for the city they were in. After the 'meeting the outsiders' event, they were going to be there during a siege by the monsters the leaders were worried about. I had the mechanics that, theyd get swarmed by mooks they could likely kill in a round or two at worst with a few higher level front line commanders thrown in, for each one of these theyd get a -5 to around -15 against a d100 roll (which I infamously roll low on all the time) on how much the city gets damaged up (multiple of the results for fyi), where either (a) they would stand their grounds just enough to cause the enemy to tempt pull back from the current onslaught, (b) the do enough damage an pull back gettin more then they need for now (long story) or (c) the party retreats for the time trying to pick up some survives they could fit on the ship an get the heck out as the city is torn up...
Instead.. I roll flat 3d100's as the party 'just' avoided the guards an lockdown.. which didnt add any bonses for the city guards chance to prep ships an counter attackk.. of the three, 2 in the ninties, one over fifty.. the city was whiped out.. I was 'devastated' that now i may have put the paladins character in a state he was just outright mamed and couldnt even give his player a 'last hura an fade to black'...because they never showed up or said anything...
I had to take a day or two before i sent the news to him, i did kinda phrase it a little angerly but i was 'where were you what happend'?... no response the entire week, right up to our next game session with nothing being done to that character sheet i gave him for a month..
And then came to our last bit of communication.. one hour before we started, he wanted to ask me about his character creation thing.. he stuck with the class i was iffy on to begin with but he.. went with a completely different class, an frankly he was maxing out the stats on the class too..
I confronted him since at least then he was 'finally' speaking to me. He was giving me the 'he would have convince them' speach of his characters plans.. I was just getting more confused by some of his responses of what that even was. The 'misunderstandings' of his character of what things are going on, why he did an extrem like 'why would he cut his hand off' an then he admitted no matter what, his character was going to leave. All on the fact his 'Paladin Alignment as Lawful good' wouldnt let him 'let a bunch of people die in the city'... his character has pulled back from fights an stuff before, while yeah if he saw a fight he would totally try an defend someone if need be, but, the abandon the party thinking they were doing wrong, knowing that the plan the group would be involved with after the outsider meeting, was to go search for things that might power them all up enough to be on the same playing field as the monster that beat them, or event he ones attacking the undersea side.. He even made a passing comment 'yeah i know they all talked about it for an hour'.. when.. he caused the conversation to las tthe hour by having them repeat it different ways several times.. something he also did alot im afraid when the quest was not one he started/invested in specifically of himself (the starting foot of it happened to one of the new players an 3 1/2 while he was on one of his missing days again).
He made a slight passing comment about me jus killing off his character an how they were acting as a 'what if someone wanted to play something else' .. which i did ask 'did you want to play something new why didnt you just ask?' to which.. he kinda ignored an went on. It was roughly at this time that he said he was trying to focus on his wizard spell list that i clicked to he was playing a new type of character all together.. one he admitted he wanted to play as 'weird and kinda crazy'.. it honestly sent chills to me given his 'sane' character did something extreme out of the blue for no reason an would never had done before was a bad sign what he considers 'slightly weird/crazy' would be.. but i was further made up set he made up a character only 'after' getting rolls he didnt get clearance from me with beforehand. I asked if this was the case which he confirmed and simply asked 'what want me to do point buy instead?'... an thats when I said i dont think he was set for my game again.. most so since all this all he focused on, again, an hour before game time, was only the basic mechanics an nothing else (given my honest mistrust of him springing something on me on this point with the sister visit 'quest').
I had literally given him my reasons, told him didn tlike how many red flags hes pulled lately. Including our game communities famed words by players who do things that tend to do things that.. kinda make things weird or bad or start to trail from how they start as.. When he first started missing the bulk of sessions, an losing plot interest, was when he 'lost his notes'. Then an most infamous last appearance, literally last bits hes said when he decided to have his character leave (which in hindsight i think he may have just wanted but again.. pardon me for guessing since he never communicated) 'Its what my character would do' when he had him cut his hand off.. Then during our conversation when i was trying to figure out what the heck was all that an what happend he said 'because my lawful good paladin couldnt let that under his oath'... his 'netual good' character whose hidden monsters under his house, stolen from a school of magic, made friends with an had sight powers from a devil an a few other shady things to say the least...so he was plannen or taking that his character should have a diff alignment without communing with me on it..who knows ont hat one..
I honestly did my usual, 'i dont think this game is for you' exit speech... an he said 'dont bs me with this over polite crap' an tried to make me say 'i want you gone'.. he was more or less animate on the specifics of the words.. and I think i know why..
Because, the players have a private text chat, not that hes much on there himself unless his character name is mentioned multiple times, but they do have it for funnies an stuff between em. I dont mind it, but.. at some point when I officially announced I'd be removing the player in our whole group chat.. he sent a very cropped two lines that was the tail end of us with me saying him in the groups not looken good, but told them 'i shouldnt be contacted about this'..
Tooo bad for him, I screenshot everything big like this. An further bad for him, the new guys an me talk alot too, like constant, and he forgot, 3 1/2 are friends for over a decade. 3 1/2 told me that... so i reached out to the rest of the group, shared the entire thing with them on the spot, saying 'i am sorry, its been bad with all these points' (i mention in here better more details after all, given how it was an hour of getting heated an trying to get him to tell me what his game plan is or anything else if need be given everything else sounded like he was flipping between wanting to be something new or... again i can only speculate since he just went offensive/defenses with no explanations or stuff to understand him the player). an sent them the entire conversation the two of us had as a screenshot.
While I was polite an just saying 'dont think the games for you' which yeah is a little over gentle.. after i pointed out one of them mentioned with a tiny screenshot of only me saying 'you should go' an the 'dont talk to me about it'. He honestly said 'i told them they shouldnt bother with it' like they should have just listened to him on the get go...an that 'he' would send it.. told him I already had. And for that level of honestly kinda manipulative tactic, both trying to isolate the party from me and only showing the 'closest' he would have of me saying 'i want you gone' comment, which he had stressed for a bout a minute i should 'say' in our private chat, i cant help but wonder if he was seriously trying to poison the well between me and the others.. an then said he would 'show them the whole conversation.... well he kinda got super silent with the private group and to me when i said 'i already sent the whole. I told him, good luck an goodbye, an then removed him from my DND group.. he suddenly for the first time in 2 years 'went offline', on my notice thing, so i think he made himself invisible but at first i thought he blocked me.. made a passing comment to test, but he went 'no' an was suddenly fully online an back to his MMO's that he 'usually' played too much an overslept some of our early day games on... not surprising..
The rest of the party were.. thankfully understanding, 3 1/2 suggested we didnt play but i pressed on but we did kinda vent.. helped one of the experienced newby of the three was a dm, an said 'hey its what you feel too, if he was making you feel uncomfortable at the table with that, your alright to feel it an remove him' which helped too..
But part of me does have to have that nagging feel since, he is the 'first' true kick i have done. ALl my other possible problem players ghost themselves from my games an he had been in for 2 years.. not that we done much since we are nearly at our 100'th session an only 'now' getting to the possible tea of the world i have been sitting on for 3 years since started working on the campaign over it. I left it openf or them to discover, an things started to click when the new guys came in an started being able to 'take lead' a bit on group choices.. not waiting for the paladin to lead them.. but.
of course, communication is '2 way street' i know, I said he didnt talk to me on things but likewise maybe i shoulda been more active reaching to him. To a point I tried, but, unless it was 'hey want a new power or something' ...he didnt respond back much. Again we had not much on similar things an it feel slike he was cluing in that many of my influences was from comics, movies games an anime that even if he was into the fandoms of, he didnt know alot as I have a broad and little known spectrum of series. Maybe a bit of it was lill mix of we didnt upfront what we expected, but also disinterests... but I do know at least 2 of his fave games.. tha has owning land, getting bonus in some way from that, an thats that.. an some other aspects, kinda in hindsight were what he wanted/expected for his character at times.
Again, my thing is full homebrew, an always say 'hey if you find something you like, lemme know an see maybe we can toss it in.', sadly some of the gang dont take that up too much, but the new players have lately an its been fun. He did at first 'start' suggesting something.. but with no set things, so when i brought up things that we can do for it he kinda.. shot em down, like not say full on no but.. just went silent.
In the end, Im upset with myself over not confronting the problem a bit more 'first', but i guess i just started to let him just 'be silent all the time is fine the problem goes away' as much as he did it when i reached out to him. Hell if he stepped away for a bit, sadly perfect since his first character might be KO'ed, i may have taken him back if he just said 'been dealing with things' or 'wanted to be something new' or, 'can i try something crazy'.. but in the end he only wanted me to respond in the moment to what he came up without double checking things an it can happen so sparatically, so 'railroady' for me an the other players I just cant anymore. An knowing hell honestly try an manipulate my words behind my back to the rest of the players.. yeah Im not trusting that player at any of my games ever again and wont ever trust one like that... but I hope it doesnt turn to that for just that factor an not because of other reasons that can be avoided...
Anyone who reads, thanks for your time. If you got tips or mindsets to consider for me here, like to help get them like a mindworm to maybe help me over things, given how my head is still lill swimmen on it both emotionally an thoughts. I guess maybe im looking to see if I was valid (I know for my 'mental health' i was, but want to know its not just my own head thinking it an maybe cases like this is at least partly justified). An hey, if you ever had a sitch like this, lemme hear how ya felt too, never helps bottling it in. Just typing this at first as a note to myself before it showed up anywhere helped me clear my head a fair bit, so theres always getting the words out there wither someone's ear or eyes take it is a nice way to get the happy feels in. Next order buisness to feel better... getten to those cursed die rolls (come on Dice Gods treat me an my players failry, ah dangit another 1! I thought i blotted it out!)

I’m doing a rewatch and I’m currently in the 7th season. During my rewatch, I noticed that the women on this show are portrayed as moody, jealous and nutty and it’s even more noticeable in season 7. This show is great at making women incredibly unlikeable people while the men do stupid things to set the women off then play victim. I feel like there’s not a single likable character.
Lucy - She gets crazy jealous over any woman that even looks at Kevin, but Kevin doesn’t help it either. He doesn’t make her feel secure about Roxanne being his partner. Roxanne asks him to kiss her and he doesn’t tell Lucy this but freaks out because A) Lucy doesn’t have a cell phone and B) he can’t find her. He flips out on Lucy then kisses Roxanne and Lucy is the one who needs to apologize? I hate Kevin! All is forgiven, of course, because Lucy apologizes and is gaslighted into believing she’s the only crazy person in this situation. When Lucy goes to the church to find peace, she speaks with Kevin where he calls her crazy and an idiot and tells her she can change how she feels about Roxanne. The only one she needs to change her mind about it Kevin! In earlier seasons, she was constantly crying and jealous and couldn’t keep a single friend long term. Her friends always disappeared. She was also nicknamed the “make out queen”. I had high hopes for her to be successful after high school and the show blew it. She went to NY and came right back because women can’t seem to be successful in this show, apparently.
Mary - Portrayed as the trouble maker who can’t get her life together. She was such an awesome character in the earlier seasons and then they blew it. The family shipped her off to NY over the dumbest thing. I feel like yeah, she obviously was troubled and needed help, but ship her off to NY? That storyline was stupid. Then in NY she wasn’t even successful. They had her end up with Wilson for a bit who treated her like a mom/babysitter instead of his girlfriend. He tried breaking her down until she finally cheated and left. Of course, the show portrays her as the bad guy. While cheating isn’t right, his treatment of her wasn’t right either. He didn’t want to see her at her full potential. Before she left for NY, her parents told her if she wasn’t going to college then she needed to work and pay rent. Why wasn’t that same treatment given to the other kids? Lucy went to NY and came back. They didn’t make her work or continue college. She eventually went back to school but definitely not right away! It was more than half a season later that she went back to school.
Annie - She’s always such a nut! Her extreme mood swings during pregnancy. Her wanting to become a teacher then dropping out when she found a job she didn’t need to be licensed for. Then she quit said job. Eric didn’t support her. He was a total piece of crap the whole time! Eric hides things from her and then gaslights her every season. Then tells everyone how Annie is just moody and hormonal. What’s wrong with the writers? Couldn’t Annie be more than just a partner to Eric??
Roxanne - Obviously just there to stir up some trouble because of course only women stir up trouble. She sought after Kevin then Robbie then Kevin again then Chandler. She comes on way too strong and just an overall horrible, uncomfortable and unlikeable character that everyone except for Lucy likes. I don’t blame Lucy for her concerns. All of the other people seem to be blind.
Eric - What a total trash bin! The advice he gives Kevin during season 7 about steering clear of the women because they all have mood swings and one comes after another. Like bro, you can’t even wash your own pants or show up to dinner, but you want to complain because Annie gets overwhelmed with 7 kids and housework? Okay.
Kevin - Misogynistic jerk! He treats Lucy like she’s a crazy lunatic. Calling her an idiot, crazy, emotional and tells her how she should feel. He gaslights her into making herself feel crazy and emotional so she apologizes to him when he’s absolutely in the wrong, especially about Roxanne. He is so unlikable.
Sorry, I just needed to vent!

Benefitted from reading trip reports here so paying it forward :)
About us: British couple in our thirties and my parents, who both have limited mobility. My wife speaks Japanese, while for my parents it was their first time in Japan.
Our trip:

• Two weeks in early April.
• Flew into Fukuoka, landing pretty late in the evening. This was fine albeit the airport is a building site at the moment.
• For the most part we stayed in western-style chain hotels, so I won't comment on the hotel unless there is something unusual about it.
• Unless otherwise stated, we travelled on the train by the fastest route (Shinkansen or LEX). I calculated our train costs before the holiday and the full JR pass did not save us money. We used a 7 day JR Kyushu pass, 1 day Kintetsu Rail Pass and 3 day Hakone FreePass. For the rest of the travel we bought single tickets or used IC cards.
• Aso: I was worried about the plan for the first full day as it seemed rather ambitious. We got the train to Kumamoto, hired a car from Toyota Rent a Car (there are two branches by the station and inevitably I managed to take us to the wrong one first), and drove up to Aso. The effort was worth it - I have never seen a landscape like it. Nakadake crater is still closed though. After driving around some viewpoints, we returned the car in Kumamoto and got back on the train to finish the day in a Kagoshima hotel. In the event, the day went swimmingly, but I was glad to not try and add any Kumamoto activities to the mix.
• Kagoshima (two nights): Sengan-en was the best garden of the trip - if you want to know the meaning of "borrowed scenery" this is the place. We did the tourist bus on Sakurajima, but I wished we'd had a car that day too - somehow didn't feel we saw much more from the bus than we did from the ferry port!
• Nagasaki (three nights): we had the best food of the trip in Nagasaki - the shabu-shabu in DOT.lamb was a consensus favourite, as well as Katsushika. Glover Garden has an electric-assist wheelchair rental which was essential for my parents to be able to access and enjoy it - we entered via the top entrance which I think is probably preferable since you get the view over the harbour as you walk downwards. We visited both the Atomic Bomb Museum (wheelchairs available), but also the small and challenging private Nagasaki Human Rights and Peace Museum (no wheelchair, no lift). It is difficult to know whether to recommend the latter, which unflinchingly addresses unpleasant episodes in Japan's history. There is relatively little English information. We found both museums deeply moving and thought-provoking. The Nagaski Ropeway is a must-do on a clear night.
• Kyoto (three nights): Hotel Anteroom was certainly our most fashionable hotel - it has an art exhibition space and the building itself is characterful - definitely recommended. Stopped off at Okayama for Korakuen - certianly worthwhile for us due to amazing cherry-blossom. We did an unsurprising itinerary for Kyoto: Nara, Kinkakuji, Ryoan-ji, Fushimi Inari, Tofukuji, about which I have few novel things to add. For Nara, getting the private Kintetsu railway day pass including Nara Kotsu bus was a good move which reduced the level of walking required compared to the JR option. Of the temples, I think we liked Tofukuji the best - deeply creative gardens.
• Hakone (two nights): this was a bit of a chillout stop in an onsen hotel - Hakone Yutowa. We did a bit of self-catering here - worth considering if you don't think you'll get value from the hotel restaurant as the other restaurant options are limited (although we did also go to Gyoza Center which was excellent). Hakone is a very developed resort - but this is what we wanted since it meant good accessibility for my parents. Have to say the standard of the art museums here exceeded my expectations, particularly liked the Narukawa museum which has a view of Fuji. We took the RomanceCar into Tokyo, which is worth the additional limited express fare.
• Tokyo (two nights): My wife has been to Tokyo many times and so we didn't do a typical tourist itinerary. To be honest, I think you could spend two weeks in Tokyo and still be finding new things to do - my advice is don't worry too much about missing out on "the best stuff", there are so many great things. We did the Jiyu Gakuen Myonichikan school designed by Frank Lloyd Wright; the new viewing floor in the Sunshine City tower, which seemed to be designed to be more child-friendly than other viewpoints; single act Kabuki at Kabuki-za (lift available); Korakuen, which is surreally overshadowed by the Tokyo Dome; the National Art Centre (wheelchairs available); the Taro Okamoto Memorial Museum (no lift); looked at the Shibuya crossing; and walked by the Meguro River.
• Flew home from Haneda - <3 monorail.

Overall thoughts about accessibility: My parents managed well throughout. They can walk short distances, but stairs are an issue. There are lifts, escalators or ramps in every station we went to, and most public transport was level-boarding or low-floor enough except some of the trams we ran into on Kyushu. Members of the public always gave up seats for my parents without being asked (getting lots of thank yous from us of course!).
I wish I'd had the foresight to rent a wheelchair for Tokyo. The hotel wasn't able to obtain one for us at short notice, and my parents did struggle with the degree of walking required to get around Tokyo, even by public transport.
We used taxis liberally, just hailing them on the street rather than using an app. I can't recall any occasions where we waited more an a couple of minutes.
Using TA-Q-BIN also helped on this front.
Final thoughts: This was an amazing, amazing holiday - I don't think there is much I would have changed.

Context: This is an online 5E game that has been going on for about eight months so far, and I do not know any of the other players outside of the internet. The sessions are also streamed, but I won't bore you with that unless you ask when and where.
This game takes place in a world partly of our DM's creation and partly taken from both mythology and anime, set in the land of Alfheim. We (the players) were selected to be Ambassadors of our nations, tasked with traveling the continent and solving various crises plaguing each nation before preparing to charge up the World Tree since the magic of the Tree's pollen is waning, essentially meaning that eventually nobody will be able to fly. It's Alfheim, everyone has wings. The players that are more relevant to the story consisted of the Dragonborn Paladin Leo, a Gnome Bard named Lilly from the Pooka nation, and myself playing Terrias Noros, Satyr Artificer from the Leprechauns. There were other players, an Elf Druid called Loreldel and Tabaxi named Senshi who for the life of me I cannot remember the class of, but both characters left for one reason or another and are not important to the story.
Now that that is out of the way, this story begins about 3-4 months ago (I don't exactly remember when but it was around then from todays date) when I was the unfortunate victim winner of the Campaign's First Player Death Award. While I did have an idea of what I wanted my previous character to do, him dying in what we like to call "the Fantasy Titan Incident" was rather fitting. I would say Rest in Piece for that Satyr Dakas the Wild Magic Sorcerer Politian, but his hatred to basically everyone that wasn't either super rich, in a position of power, or both was generally mutual. Also there weren't any pieces of him left. I know that a hateful character in a good aligned party is generally a very bad idea, but I did what I could to not force the other characters or antagonise them in any way, and apparently Leo saw him as a grandfather for some reason? Tangent aside, Dakas is dead, onto the actual story with Terrias.
I introduced him the next session and immediately everyone liked him right away, mainly because this new character was actually nice to basically everyone. after getting the party back together, the queen of the Undine Nation ( where we currently were) came to us and bestowed onto me the responsibilities of being the new Leprechaun Ambassador. After that we travelled to the Leprechaun region to see the funeral of Dakas and I was given the opportunity to explain to everyone what the crisis of my homeland was. Every time someone asked me about it before I would say something along the lines of "Dakas just believes that the problem is that this new generation is lazy and that they aren't working", but with a new character that wasn't a huge liar I said it was actually akin to political corruption and that the Council of Twelve (the government of the Leprechaun region) was exploiting the citizens for their own gain through the power of gambling.
After finding out that the leader of the Council had made a deal with Asmodeus for power and that he needed to pay his casino workers to keep it, we set a plan of action. The casino was actually pulled from Keys to the Golden Vault since the DM wasn't sure how to run political intrigue, so he made it a heist, and we hatched a plan. There was a card tournament in one of the halls, and the leader of the Council "had never lost a game," so Lilly went there to keep him occupied. We even managed to get her some help from the god of this region because the council leader had trapped it millennia ago to get that power. Leo went to create a distraction in the zoo by releasing the animals, which went poorly. My job was to break into the actual vault and get the gold out somehow, which I managed getting really high Stealth from various Infusions and blasting a hole to the outside and casting Enhance Ability - Strength on myself to move it. Overall, mostly a success other than the fact that Leo ended up dying and we had to resurrect him. With that problem solved, we took some downtime which mainly involved levelling up, completely restructuring the government, crafting magic items, and moving onto the Pooka region.
The problem here was some strange parasitic plant was draining the life from everything it touched, so we weren't quite sure how to go about it at first. Lilly was acting pretty withdrawn because she was partly responsible for it, so she gave an explanation on what had happened and that she had been corrupted when it occurred. She then tried to run into the centre of the mass of vines, which didn't exactly help, but did give more insight on what happened to the people it got a hold of, basically offering them their heart's desires which the thankfully resisted. I however, had a plan and pulled out a Cube of Force I managed to get during the downtime, using it as a shield to get to the core of the plant with Leo. It resisted and tried to convince both of us to give up, which we refused.
Sidenote: I should probably mention that while basically everything was standard DnD, there were a couple things the DM had made sure we all know. First, no multiclassing, since that is how Alfs became corrupted by not focusing on one track in life. I don't exactly remember what the other class Lilly had when we met her the first time, but she was the reason for a different problem we had already fixed involving destroying reality and breaking into weird planes of existence. Second, if anyone, DM included, rolled the same number on the D20 three times in a row, something similar to Wild Magic happens, but on a much grander scale, and it just so happened that the DM had rolled three consecutive 9's and decided that Tiamat showed up. Not her avatar, the actual god Tiamat.
So, we were getting close to the centre, Tiamat shows up, and proceeds to critically fail the save against the plant, thus falling under it's control. Lilly is the only one that actually sees Tiamat (leo and I are completely surrounded by vines so we can't see outside the Cube of Force), reasonably decides to not be anywhere near what is likely about to happen, gives Bardic Inspiration to Tiamat to try and help her break the mind control, and nopes out of there. The plant the controls it's new pet god to use a breath weapon on the Cube, which the DM treats as Prismatic Spray to try and break it. The Cube holds strong with 7 charges left. We make it to the centre, and I pass the item off to Leo with instructions to press side 3 on his turn, then hold an action to cast Lightning Bolt. I figured out the plant was weak to lightning when I tried to clear a path earlier using the same spell, but as an Artificer I only had two 3rd level slots, so I needed to make this last one count. He was up next due to convenient initiative rolls, so he complied with my request, the plant failed the save, and it died to almost max damage on the spell. Tiamat left shortly after and begrudgingly thanked us for saving her.
We decided to stay in this region for a little while helping it rebuild, so we got a little more downtime and levelled up some more. Eventually a festival was held where I was approached by a stranger that introduced themselves as a former Ambassador and claimed to have issues with my father. Terrias had no idea what his dad did, but we all knew out of character that this was tied to when Dakas started a loan shark business by tearing down an orphanage. As previously stated, that character was an ***hole that did it for the money, power, and because they were lazy good-for-nothing wastes of space. Since Dakas was now burning in Hel for all eternity, and planar travel is very much banned for everyone outside of extremely specific circumstances, his enemies passed onto me as next of kin. This former Ambassador sized me up, trying to get a good read on my personality, and came to the conclusion that Terrias wasn't a bad person but still wanted to set things right bu challenging me to a duel. I win, I get to keep the business, they win I have to hand it over, along with a house Dakas paid for in a very prestigious city. I didn't see a downside, so I accepted and stated that while I would go all out, I wouldn't be using the Cube as that would be cheating.
The rules of this duel were simple: first to successfully land a damaging attack or cause the other to fail a saving throw against a damaging effect wins. I prepared with what buffs as I could manage for myself without overlapping concentration, with Longstrider, Mirror Image, and Enhance Ability - Dexterity for the Initiative roll. I manage to go first because advantage, and after a few rounds of combat I manage to win. It was a little stressful since they cast Silence almost right away which nullified my Thunder Gauntlets, but I got lucky with a crit shortly after they dropped it to cast other spells. After the battle I gave them the deeds to both the business and the house anyway since I had no need of them, and the DM gave me Inspiration for that as he wasn't expecting it. Next up, back to the Undine region.
Originally the problem here was increased shark activity, but Leo and Lilly solved that by talking to some sea god about it after nearly dying in "the Fantasy Titan Incident." Now there was a new problem involving some cult that wanted to end the world, and while I went to investigate it, Leo and Lilly (who were getting along quite well by this point) took a trial to redeem themselves of past guilts in the Fountain of Truth. Lilly managed to pass, but Leo unfortunately did not, dying permanently with no option of resurrection. We went to his funeral and met his new character Atemir, but for simplicities sake I will continue to call him Leo because they were brothers. After the funeral we went back to the Undine region and I informed everyone that my investigation resulted in finding their hideout, and the Undine Queen gave me some notes discussing cults from a Midgardian organization (It was the FBI). With notes in hand we decided to sneak in to get more information.
Sneaking in went... well enough. We found a library with texts describing the end of the world involving water, and a symbol from another official 5E book that I unfortunately didn't quite recognise even with really high History, so we went further in. Got into one combat that could have ended badly if not for Sanctuary, but other than that nothing went terribly wrong. Lilly noticed a Dragon Turtle in this cult temple and told us to steer clear, but the stealth mission ended abruptly when we triggered a trapped door alerting everything inside to our location. I managed to escape, Lilly tried to hide, and Leo... Tried to ride that Dragon Turtle like a jet ski. He did ride it, but it didn't end well for him and he died again to the same thing that killed him both other times.
Anyways, Lilly got captured and promptly escaped, but not after dropping a Silence on the ritual these cultists were chanting to summon Olhydra, Princess of Evil Water. This turned out to be a really good idea, because when we actually fought said Princess of Evil Water she had much less health than we anticipated. We did get some NPC help and Leo drafted up a new character called Nevil (Halfling Ranger from the Spriggan territory, but he doesn't do much), but we managed to win after struggling with Lilly not having a Spellcasting Focus and myself being out of spellslots. We get some more downtime here, where Lilly has to recover from almost dying and I craft some more magic items, but when she asks if I visit her, I say yes and that I would have brought flowers to keep her company. She then informed me (out of character) that she just thought of something she found incredibly funny: what if Lilly fell in love with Terrias?
At this point the two of us came up with what happened between our characters during that downtime, with the main point being that since I brought her flowers, the bouquet could accidentally profess love through Floriography. Lilly's player knows more about the subject than I do, so she came up with Sunflowers, Yellow Roses, and Pink Tulips, which mean good fortune, love between friends, and affection. From my character's perspective, he knows about Floriography, he just doesn't know how to read it. He studied politics to help the people when he replaced his father, so he is rather dense to the concept of romance and having an 8 in Charisma doesn't help. Lilly, being a Bard, has really high Charisma, and while she did use it once to seduce the Council member back in the Leprechaun region, that isn't how she normally acts, so for once the Bard isn't the one seducing, they're being seduced themselves.
After the recovery period, we had three problems left: someone causing interdimensional portals to show up, earthquakes in the Spriggan territory, and bandit activity in the Gnome region. We decide to deal with the portal issue first because we don't want to have to fight monsters from other planes, and it seemed to be related to Lilly as well due to why it's happening ( the DM had a crossover event on Hallowe'en between this game and a Call of Cthulu game he ran at the same time which I was also playing in. We got some help from another player from that game who knew Lilly in character as well). It was a tough fight involving body swapping, making sure Lilly didn't break down, and realising the minions were immune to Lightning Bolt. Whoops. We won in the end with no casualties.
This basically brings us to where we are right now, in the Spriggan territory with the earthquakes. Turns out, it's much worse as essentially all Spriggans are being devoured by something locked away. Leo (now Nevil) was also taken away by whatever it was since he was a Spriggan as well (he's getting married IRL so he had to leave), so we got two new characters, a DMPC Orc Monk named Bonk the Kronk from the Gnome region, and a new Tabaxi Rogue Jinx from the Imps (played by the same person who played Senshi since they just rejoined). After getting inside a labyrinthian temple by using the Fibonacci Sequence, we find out the creature is called the Devourer of Souls, and that if one of the nations dies, so does everything tied to that nation, which for the Spriggans was treasure. This means we can't use magic items and my armour is now just fancy clothes.
This is where we currently are in the story, but I'll update this when we get further if I remember to.

Hi all, long time listener, first time OP poster.
My parents are pretty orthodox Hindus. They raised us as pretty strict Hindus. Temple every Sunday. Bhajan group first and last Saturday of the month. Encouragement to read the various books. Those Amar Chitra Katha comics. Various translations of Ramayana and Mahabharata (For the record, I felt like Rajaji's translations were the most accessible, and were pretty easy to settle in and read the book like a story.)
From a fairly young age, because we lived in USA and Hinduism wasn't the predominant culture, any Hindu stuff I knew I had to sort of go seek out and learn on my own. It wasn't like being in India, and having the religious stories showing up on TV with the various dramatisations. It was more like being an alien in a different planet, where you brought your strange customs with you that the natives don't understand what's going on.
Also, I kind of wanted the approval of my parents. I knew I was gay pretty early on, although I couldn't really admit it to myself because I didn't really have the words for it until around middle school~ish. I also knew that my parents would be fairly upset if I told them that I'm gay, and I didn't want to get married to a woman and have a bunch of babies. (Spoiler: They were very upset--not at the gayness, although that caused plenty; at the not wanting to get married and have children.) I knew what the culture of the USA thought of gay folk, because Ronald Reagan was president when we immigrated to the USA.
That said, I still did like the little stories that my parents would tell us about the gods and whatnot. The bad guys got their comeuppance in the end of the stories, and the gods were less like omnipotent beings, and more like super heroes. They had powers for sure, but still had to follow the rules or something. So it's not like they can just undo something that was promised, because even the gods have to follow the rules of karma, etc. It made me feel incredibly smug, because unlike those "backwards" Abrahamic religions, who have a made up deity who can just undo whatever, we had made up deities who still had to follow the rules, which made it more "logical" to my young brain.
Hit middle school/early high school summer. My family didn't go on a long-ass road trip like we did every summer, and I had finished reading all my books twice. Nobody wanted to take me to the library. Eff it, I thought. I picked up one of the Srimad Bhagavatam to read it. It was the ISCKON version. It had the Sanskrit original, the transliteration, and then the word-for-word translation, then the translation written into plain English, then a thing they called a "Purport", where the author would give an interpretation of that verse.
I skipped the explanations, and just dived in headfirst to read it, because I wanted to make up my own mind.The stuff I read in there was freaking wild, but did more or less jive with the rest of what my parents had been teaching me all these years. A few years later in the same situation, I polished off the Ramayana and Mahabharata. These were less weird and more like a story book. However, the random inserts every now an again about the ideals of Hindus was weird. You're on the field, Krishna. Could you maybe speed this stuff up so that we can get on with it?
My dad would be performing some puja or something for a naming ceremony, a death ceremony, a marriage, a whatever. It was the death ceremonies that really messed me up. We supposedly believe that once the body dies, the soul leaves the body and goes on to reincarnate or whatever. WTF is all this other stuff for? I had been raised with the religion talking out of both sides of its mouth. On the one hand, the rules of karma are absolute. You do a thing, you have to have the karma for it. Not even the gods can escape that. When the body dies, the soul moves on, period the end. Why are we doing all this elaborate money wasting stuff if the soul will move on regardless?
"Oh well the ceremonies are for the people here, not the dead soul." HUH? WHAT? You mean to tell me the grieving family has to now spend obscene amounts of money feeding Brahmins or whatever, when they're not even allowed to cook right now because they lost a family member? So now they have to hire someone to do all this stuff? AND THEN THEY DO IT AGAIN EACH YEAR AFTER? Are you SERIOUS? And that's for the benefit of the grieving family? WHAT BENEFIT?
They'd preach about how all lands are Bharat, and all people are Hindu, and then spout some really vile stomach churning stuff about Muslims or Christians. They'd talk about the equality of all people, and be leery of eating at a nonveg restaurant. They'd talk about natural law, and ahimsa and whatnot, but then breed and milk cows, while looking down on anyone who eats meat. Bro. If you're going to look down on something for their weirdness, look at yourself, drinking the breast milk of another animal, and not letting her own babies have at it. (Once that sank in later, I went vegan, because I couldn't really reconcile my love for animals with wanting to consume a product that causes them so much suffering.)
They'd talk about how the people who weren't Brahmin weren't at all oppressed, but rather were part of an "occupational classification". There was nothing wrong with being one of the other castes. It's all good! Peace and harmony! Meanwhile, they'd get weird about all sorts of stuff about the folk from those castes. And do NOT even consider marriage to someone from those castes. That's absolutely not on the table.
I figured that maybe my parents are just taking things to an extreme, like those preachers on TV who say god is love with one side of their mouth, and then talk about how anyone who doesn't follow their exact version of the religion is going to be damned for eternity in hell. Maybe there were other Hindu or Hindu adjacent people who were cool. I plunged headfirst into the religion. I'd encourage my parents to have prayer meetings and bhajan groups at our own house every Friday. We started hanging out with Sai devotees for a spell. Went to one family's house where they'd do a bhajan, then read a verse from the Gita and discuss it. As long as you could keep up with the discussion and contribute something to it, they didn't stop anyone from participating. And, because I'd done a ton of reading by this point, I could cross reference other books when I didn't think a point made sense.
My parents were extremely happy about that particular group because of that. Here's their son, who's raised in the USA, able to hold reasonable discussion about Hindu religion with people several times his age. Cool!
Even with all that, I still couldn't get myself to accept my fate as a man: I'd need to get married to a lady, have children, and then raise them to be good little Hindus. It was literally written in all the scriptures I read.
That, along with pretty much all the inconsistencies started stacking up, and I couldn't reconcile them anymore. Here were people who were saying that you can do a puja with a fruit, a flower, a drop of water, and as long as you're doing it with the proper Bhakti, you're cool. Then I'd see my dad perform some puja where he demanded milk, ghee, coconuts, the 9 grains, and all sorts of other elaborate stuff. Talk about nonviolence, but wear leather shoes. Talk about the equality of people, but distrust anyone who isn't Brahmin.
Also, to be honest, I didn't like most of the rituals anyway. The bhajans were cool. You could sit back and listen, or sing along in the repeating the line phase, or sing them to yourself. The pujas, however, were boring as fuck, and I felt absolutely nothing from them. Wasn't a fan of meditation (still am not). Didn't care for mindless chanting. As an adult, all those stories I loved as a kid started showing their cracks. Why did Rama do Sita like that? It was grody. How come Krishna couldn't keep it in his pants, and that was fine, but you're going to yell at my brother for having a girlfriend? WTF did that elephant ever do to Shiva to deserve that? Sure, the head lived on, but that elephant was just minding his own business. Also, Muruga really did fly around the world on his peacock. Ganesha cheated. Also, Tenali Raman was an asshole.
I digress.
Long story longer, what caused my eventual break from the religion was the religion itself. None of it sat right with me. The rules of being a good person didn't make sense with the glorification of brahmins being part of it. I can be a good person by being kind to everyone. The brahmins can ask their little god friends to be nice to them if they're all that holy. The stuff my parents were saying didn't line up with their actions. The rituals made me feel nothing. The prayer made me feel nothing. Whether or not I prayed, my life kept bopping along as it would.
If it's not showing me a good way to behave in the world, and it's not giving me comfort when I need it, and I'm not feeling anything positive from it, what's the point of identifying with it? Also, as I learned later from talking to other skeptical people, the person who's making the claim has the onus of proof on them. I don't need to prove they're wrong, they need to prove their claim has merit. You can't prove a negative. Reading more and more into science books, and getting a biology degree further drove that home.
Years later, I'm still doing well without religion. The ones in my family who do stick to some form of strict religious practice are allowed to do their own thing. As for me, I flatly refuse to have any part of it. I find all the stuff boring and annoying. I've also attended religious stuff for other religions. They're all boring and annoying. Nothing that I'm getting in the religious parts is enriching or useful to my life. Any good that happens is when the religious crap is over, and I can hang out with my friends.
My mom knew I'm atheist before she died, and wasn't thrilled with it, but had reconciled with it. My dad thinks I still have faith even though I haven't engaged with any part of the religion in ages. It's been a very very long time. But, the dude's in his 80s. He can have that hope if it lets him sleep at night. Just don't ask me to participate in anything, and we're cool. The rest of my family is pretty well aware that I'm an atheist. With one exception, they're pretty much live and let live.

TW: Mentions of drug abuse and self harm
“Well, Mr. King, it’s been quite a while since you’ve last been in that chair,” I said, greeting my two o’ clock appointment.
It’s always nice to meet with previous patients of mine, however there’s always a twinge of sadness to it. As a therapist, you never really want to see a familiar face sitting on the other side of your desk again.
The man sitting across from me chuckled lightly, sweeping some of his light brown hair out of his blue eyes. He readjusted himself in the chair. “Please, Dr. Morris, call me James.”
“Alright then, James,” I said, dropping the formality. Playfully I added, “It’s still Dr. Morris to you, though.”
“Alright, Harrison,” he quipped back with a sly smile. In response, I smiled and laughed.
Even though it’s been two years since I last saw James, he was still as charming as I remembered him to be.
“So,” he started, locking his hands together and leaning closer to me in his chair, “How’s the wife, doc? The kid?”
“I’m not paid to sit here and talk about myself, James. Let’s talk about what’s going on with you, shall we? Why are you here?”
“Okay, no time for small talk, I get that,” he mumbled.
I sat comfortably in my plush leather desk chair waiting for him to answer my question. A tense moment of silence passed. James’s cheerful mask slipped away, revealing a harder, more solemn expression.
He cleared his throat before he finally gave me an answer. “I- uh… I was mugged.”
“I’m sorry that you experienced that,” I apologized genuinely. “It must’ve been traumatizing.”
“It was,” was all he said.
“Do you want to talk about it, James? I’m assuming that’s why you scheduled an appointment with me after all?”
He nervously twiddled with his thumbs before giving me a very abridged version of events. “The boys and I were hanging out at my parents' cabin up in Mount Glenda. I went out for a late night walk and got attacked. Was in the hospital for a couple days. Now I’m here.”
“Do you remember much from the attack?” I questioned, noticing there weren’t any visible scratches or contusions on him. He was wearing black acid wash jeans and a button up flannel shirt, so it’s possible he was attempting to cover them up.
“I- I’d rather not recount that right now, if that’s alright with you, Dr. Morris.”
I nodded my head understandably. “Okay.”
James started picking at some skin on his fingers, a common nervous habit for him. “Thanks, doc. It’s still a little fresh to talk about.”
“It’s not a problem. We can talk about it whenever you’re ready, James.” Changing the topic, I asked, “So, how are things with you and Katie?”
James scrunched his eyelids closed and wrinkled his nose at the mention of her name. If an onlooker didn’t know any better, they’d say I’d just punched him in the face.
I frowned. “Last time you were here, you two were hitting it off pretty well. So well, in fact, you stopped scheduling sessions with me.”
“We broke up,” he admitted, messing with one of the cuffs on his red and white flannel sleeves. “That’s why we were up on Mount Glenda in the first place. My friends wanted to help cheer me up. Help me get over her.”
“Well that was nice of them,” I commented, writing down some observations I’d made. Given the way he avoided eye contact and became anxious while talking about the events that led up to his attack, a PTSD diagnosis was certainly in the cards after a violent experience such as a mugging. But, I needed to fully complete my evaluation before I could say anything was concrete.
“They had good intentions,” he grumbled.
“Why did you and Katie break up, if you don’t mind me asking? Was it amicable?”
James scoffed. “If by amicable, you mean she cheated and left me for the other guy, then yeah you can say it was amicable.”
“Mhm,” I muttered, taking more notes. “Want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about?” James raised his voice slightly. “She cheated on me and we broke up!”
Clearly I’d struck a nerve. I cleared my throat and moved on. “Why don’t we talk about something else, then? How’s work at the diner? How are your courses going at university?”
“L-look, Dr. Morris, I don’t even know why I came here,”James laughed out breathlessly, starting to stand up from his chair. “I’m sorry for wasting your time.”
I stood up with James, gently placing my hand on one of his. He paused and I could see in his eyes he was hurting. I could sense he wanted someone to talk to. Needed someone to talk to.
“How about this, James, why don’t we end our session early today. Go home, drink a warm beverage, take a nap. Come see me next week. Friday, same time.”
James nodded his head, “Ok doc.”
I called out suddenly as he was about to walk out the door. “You can come back anytime before then. If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you James.”
James flashed me a weak smile before walking out of my office.
I was unsure if I’d see James again. He seemed to be teetering on the edge of a depressive episode the last time we spoke. It’s not easy to ask for help once a person passes that threshold. So, I was glad when I saw he had requested an emergency session with me just a couple days before his next scheduled appointment.
“I was attacked!” James exclaimed, rushing into my office. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt with a gray zip up jacket and a pair of blue jeans. Slung over his shoulder was a black backpack with a red stripe down the sides.
I disregarded his incredibly rude entrance and placed my phone face down on the desk. I adjusted my reading glasses and raised an eyebrow inquisitively.
“I know? You were mugged.”
“No. No, no, you don’t understand,” James said, tapping his pointer finger on his temple erratically. “I was attacked, not by a person, but by something!”
I crossed one leg over the other and leaned in closer to him. I wondered where this was heading. “How do you mean James? You weren’t mugged? Were you attacked by an animal?”
“No I was mugged,” he explained, tucking a small tuft of his medium length hair behind his ear. “My wallet and phone were gone when my friends found me.”
As confusing as it sounded, this was good. James was opening up more about his mugging.
I sat with a puzzled expression, waiting for Mr. King to elaborate.
“I was mugged alright,”James paused for dramatic effect. “Mugged by a werewolf!”
I had to stifle a laugh. Trying my best to keep my expression neutral I asked, “You? Mugged by a… werewolf?”
James nodded his head frantically. He looked tired. Like he hadn’t gotten a good night's sleep in a couple of days.
“Do you maybe want to describe exactly what happened when you were mugged, James? Help me understand what you saw.”
“It was dark,” he started, taking a seat in his usual chair. He clutched the backpack closely to his chest. “I didn’t see much, but I *know* I was attacked. It was quick and fast, smelled real bad too! It was a werewolf, I’m telling you! It had to be… and I think it turned me.”
Oh this couldn’t be good.
The blood-shot eyes.
Delusions of grandeur, more fantastical than ever.
His unstable and nervous demeanor.
“Are- are you using again, James?” I placed my hand gently on one of his, a gesture to show that I cared and was worried about him.
James was a recovering addict, it’s one of the reasons he started seeing me in the first place.
He quickly withdrew his hand from under mine. He scoffed. “Y-you don’t believe me do you?”
“I believe that you believe you were attacked and turned into a werewolf,” I told him.
Clinical Lycanthropy. I’d heard of it before, but never thought I’d witness a possible case in real life. What a truly fascinating trauma response.
“Tell me why you think that, James.” I clicked my pen, ready to jot down some notes.
James gave me the side eye. I waved it off and prompted him to continue. He gulped before speaking.
“Well, I don’t know how to explain it, doc. Everything just feels… different.”
“Try to explain it,” I urged.
“Everything is just so bright and loud now. So I guess enhanced senses? And I’m hungry. All. The. Time. These cravings I’m having, they’re intense!”
“Cravings?”
“Meat,” he answered. “Lots and lots of meat.”
“Mhm,” I said, nodding along as I wrote down my thoughts. “Have you experienced any accelerated hair growth as well? Lupine-like urges?”
James grunted. “This is serious.”
“And I’m being serious, James,” I countered. “I need you to be as detailed as possible.”
“Listen,” he said earnestly, leaning close, “The full moon is two days from now. I’ll be able to prove it to you then. Come with me before I turn, please?”
Quite frankly I didn’t know how to verbally respond to that type of request. My face however, said it all.
“I’ll even let you video tape it!” he added hastily after seeing my reaction.
I raised an eyebrow inquisitively. Instantly, ideas for experiments and different studies for this disorder ran through my head. Just the thought of researching and exploring this rarely talked about mental phenomenon was making me giddy. I felt like an undergrad student working on my senior thesis again.
“You can use the video to break out in the medical world or something, I don’t know,” James said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
“But why me, James? Why not one of your friends?” I asked, curiously, seriously considering this insane proposition.
“Because, you’re the only person I trust with this. Plus, patient confidentiality and all that jazz.”
I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at that logic. “If you truly believe you’re a werewolf, aren’t you scared of hurting someone? Aren’t you terrified of becoming this big dangerous creature? Why not go off alone?”
“There’s a good reason for that, doc,” James answered, opening his backpack. He reached in and pulled out a thick metal chain. “I need someone to help chain me up.”
I can’t believe I’m doing this, I thought to myself as I walked into Nancy’s diner. James had requested we meet up for dinner before we headed off to see his “transition.”
Me meeting up with a patient outside of office hours was practically unheard of, and on top of that, extremely unprofessional. I honestly don’t know what’s worse, me aiding James with his delusion or the fact I was excited to see where this would go.
The inside of the diner was much warmer compared to the ambient temperature outside. So as I searched the small dining room for James, I took my overcoat off and slung it around my forearm.
James spotted me and waved me over excitedly. I walked over to the small booth and sat down across from him. It felt like we were in my office again.
“Cozy,” I said. James chuckled and took a sip of water.
He was wearing a thick gray hoodie, some dark blue jeans, and some converse sneakers. I wore my usual work attire, black slacks and a light colored long sleeve cotton button up.
“Are you alright James?” I asked, noticing how shaky he was. He started rubbing his arms intensely.
I made a mental note of this. If James had been using drugs again, he was most certainly in the beginning processes of withdrawal.
He rubbed his arms some more before answering me. “Just fine. It’s just *freezing* in this diner.”
I offered him my coat, which he graciously accepted.
“Thanks. And thanks again for coming all the way out here. Dr. Morris-“
“Please James,” I stopped him, “I’m off the clock now. You can call me Harrison.”
“H-Harrison,” he stuttered, “I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you coming out here. Once I prove my ‘condition’ to you, you’ll have no choice but to believe me. I know if I’d gone to anyone else they’d have just thought I was on Stardust again and not given me a chance.”
Well James, the consensus was still out on that last one.
I smiled and nodded. It was clear James was mentally unwell, probably due to both his break up and the trauma from his attack. I was merely here to make sure he didn’t harm himself with his little demonstration tonight, or at least that’s what I was telling myself.
What are the chances James actually does transform into a monster tonight? It’s improbable to happen, but there’s always that excitement that comes with the question: What if?
“Hi, welcome in!” Our waitress greeted, bringing me a menu and a glass of water. Her name tag read Jenny. “What can I get started for you this fine evening?”
James ordered first. “I think I’ll have a cheeseburger. Every thing on it and I’ll take that rare please.”
Jenny nodded as she jotted down his order in her book. She then looked at me. “I’ll just have the Cesar salad please.”
“Alrighty, folks!” Jenny announced as she snapped her book shut enthusiastically. “Your food will be out in just a moment.”
I looked out the window our booth was sitting next to. The horizon was full of light pastel colors as the sun started to set.
“If you’re worried about nightfall, I’ll turn when the full moon is at its peak. That’s what the internet says, at least.” James informed me. “You won’t have to worry about me, ya know, before then.”
I disguised my scoff as a laugh as I continued looking out at the pretty sunset.
Our food came out and we started eating. I don’t know if James was just putting on a show or what, but he stared at his cheeseburger like he hadn’t eaten for a year. He sunk his teeth into his food at the same time I took the first bite of my salad. James scrunched his face in confusion. Then he waved our server over.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He started.
Jenny’s unnaturally happy smile faltered. My eyeballs almost burst from their sockets. I started choking on my salad at James’s brash outburst.
“I asked for my cheeseburger RARE! Does this look RARE to you?” James shoved his cheeseburger in our waitresses face.
“I- I uh,” Jenny stumbled, clearly taken aback.
“Make me a new burger, rare like I asked for,” he demanded. “You can charge me for this one too, I’ll eat both of them.”
Jenny nodded before quickly running into the diner's kitchen, clearly about to cry.
I just sat there in shock as James tore back into his cheeseburger like it was a turkey leg you get at Medieval Times. He demolished that thing in three bites. Since he ordered his burger rare it didn’t take too long for his second one to come out. James then demanded our waitress bring him a full rack of BBQ ribs.
She looked to me for help to control my friend, but I was just as flabbergasted as she was. I hadn’t touched my salad as I sat in awe watching James.
If he was acting, he deserved an Oscar. It was actually kind of terrifying seeing him act like this.
It looked like James was on the cusp of an orgasm as he took the first bite of his second cheeseburger. Once again, it was gone in a couple bites. James snacked on his fries as he patiently waited for his ribs.
Jenny laid down the huge oval plate with a very judgmental look on her face. She scoffed as she took away James’s empty plates.
James waved her off as he began inhaling rib after rib. He devoured those ribs like he didn’t know when his next meal would be. He finished the whole rack of ribs only a couple minutes after Jenny had brought them out to him.
“Laying it on there real thick, huh, buddy?” I said sarcastically. Truth be told, I was bewildered that he actually managed to eat all that food.
James wiped all the barbecue sauce that had accumulated around his mouth with a couple napkins as he finished his meal. “What do you mean by that, Doc?”
“This whole…” I leaned in close to him and whispered,” werewolf thing. I mean the food, your aggression towards our server? That’s not like you, James.”
“I told you, doc, I haven’t been feeling myself. All day I’ve been agitated, and on top of that starving! It must be the moon. It’s affecting me.”
I rolled my eyes. There’s no way he was blaming his behavior on the moon. This Clinical Lycanthropy thing was pretty bizarre to witness.
James checked his watch before standing up and chucking a wad of cash on the table. “C’mon let’s go. It’ll be time soon.”
Still in a fugue state of shock, I followed James out of the diner. He got in his car and I got in mine. James quickly peeled out of the small parking lot. I followed closely behind him.
Honestly I was kind of relieved to have space from him. James was almost starting to freak me out, and that’s saying a lot coming from a therapist because I’ve seen some weird shit before.
We drove for about ten minutes before driving down a random dirt road. James got out of his car and prompted me to follow him. The two of us walked for about five minutes before arriving at this old rickety looking gazebo that was in the middle of nowhere.
“James, you seriously can’t still believe this can you?” I questioned as he pulled a thick and heavy chain out of his backpack. He handed it to me, the weight of it almost knocking me off balance. I’m surprised he carried that thing on his back without breaking a sweat.
James looked up at the clear night sky worriedly, the full moon slowly rising higher in the sky, “Hurry up, doc,” he pleaded, taking off my jacket and his hoodie
I stared at the now shirtless James, confused.
“So I don’t tear through it when I turn,” he explained nonchalantly. “The pants stay on for obvious reasons. I’m not getting fully nude in front of my therapist.”
“Yeah, cuz that’s weird,”I sighed, tying one end of the chain to the sturdiest looking part of the gazebo. The other end was wrapped around his waist and then his wrists.
“Okay,” James said after checking the time on his phone. “The moon should be at its peak within the next minute.”
I set up my phone across from him and pressed record. The light from the moon intensified as it reached its peak in the night sky.
James clenched his eyes shut and braced for pain, letting out a couple of anticipatory grunts.
He did look pretty sweaty and unwell, I have to admit. It could just be from all that food he ate, I rationalized.
James stayed that way, bracing himself for something to happen. He looked pretty uneasy. Scared. I felt bad for him.
A couple minutes passed and nothing happened.
“Wasn’t something supposed to happen by now?” I asked, stopping the recording on my phone.
James opened his eyes and looked down at his very human hands. “Maybe Google was wrong. Let’s wait a little longer.”
“James,” I said testingly. “You can’t let this go on.”
“Please,” he begged. “I need this, Harrison. Please!”
I scoffed, climbing down the steps of the gazebo and kicked a rock. I started walking back to my car before turning around. “Fine. We can wait a little longer.”
An hour passed and nothing happened to James. I got fed up and finally freed him from the chain.
“I- I don’t understand,” James looked dejected. “Nothing happened. Why didn’t I turn into a werewolf?”
“C’mon James it’s getting late,” I said, not answering his question. Instead, I put my hand on his bare shoulder to try and comfort him. He dragged his feet while I guided him back to his car. He looked like he was about to cry.
“Let’s go home.”
“Jesus, James, have you been eating?”
It was a couple days after the whole werewolf thing was debunked. James had just come in for his regular session. He looked worryingly thin, almost emaciated. To lose that large amount of weight in only a couple days wasn’t healthy. I worried the events that transpired the other night made James spiral even deeper.
It was quite embarrassing to witness, so I can only imagine how he was feeling.
“Yes!” He said plopping down in his chair. He must not have showered in a couple days judging by the ripe smell that wafted off him. “That’s all I’ve been doing!”
I wrote some notes down. He started lying. This wasn’t good.
“Mr. King-“
“I had it all wrong,”James interrupted me, almost excitedly. “I’ve been doing research. I know what happened now.”
“Oh really?” I asked. James was starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist now.
“I was cursed,” he stated matter-of-a-factly.
I wrote some more notes down. “Cursed?”
“By a wendigo.”
“James, not this again,” I said with a heavy sigh.
“I’m serious, it all lines up! The hunger, the weight loss, why I’m always cold all of a fucking sudden! Not to mention the slow transformation and matching symptoms to lycanthropy.”
“Wendigo’s don’t exist. They’re just creatures of Navajo folklore,” I said, exasperated.
What does exist, however, is Wendigo psychosis.
t’s a mental condition where someone believes they are becoming this cannibalistic creature. It usually stems from the person believing they lack the food and resources to stay nourished, especially during the winter, which causes them to turn to cannibalism.
I found out about it while researching more on Clinical Lycanthropy.
Sure, his skin had shrunk around his nails making them look longer, sharper too, and his skin was pale and sweaty. With how skinny he had become, he did look taller too, but that didn’t mean he was a Wendigo. He was using it as confirmation bias.
“James, let’s be rational here.”
“I AM BEING RATIONAL!” He yelled, getting up from his seat. He started pacing around the room nervously.
“Clearly,” I mumbled. “James, if you think this is true, how do you think you became ‘cursed’?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” James let out a maniac laugh. “The mugging! That thing must’ve attacked me and cursed me. That’s the only reason why it let me live. According to my research, not many people live to tell their tales about encountering these things. Harrison, please! I need your help trying to reverse this curse. I want to go back to normal!”
James’s mental spiral was becoming quite concerning. If I let this continue, someone was bound to get hurt.
“James,” I said softly, sliding a business card over to him. It was a contact number for a mental hospital named Brightburn. “I don’t think I can help you. But they can.”
“You’re a skeptic!” He shouted, throwing the card across the room.
“And you’re delusional!” I snapped. “I mean Wendigo’s and Werewolves?! James, you're unwell!”
“I wonder why!” He shouted, gesturing to himself. “Do you see what I’m becoming!”
“James, you’re not a wendigo!”
“I am!”
“You’re not!” I paused and lowered my voice. “Katie cheated on you! Left you for another guy.” James’s face fell when I brought up his ex.
I continued, explaining further, “So now you’re using this mugging as an excuse to make yourself something you’re not. You’re trying to make yourself seem like something bigger than you actually are, James. When deep down all you’re really doing is trying to do is show her that you’re someone worth staying with. Someone worth not cheating on!”
“You have no right to bring Katie into this!” James cried. “That’s not what’s happening! I’ve been cursed, I’m telling you!”
He grabbed his chair and chucked it across the room in a fit of anger. My chair splintered into a million pieces.
I sat back in my chair and sighed, rubbing my temples. “You say you want help, James. They can help you more than I can. If you don’t want to go, then that’s on you. But if you won’t help yourself, I can’t be your therapist any more.”
“No- don’t do this. Doc, you’re the only one I have.” James pleaded.
“You can’t keep this charade up anymore! I’ve indulged you long enough. You’re not turning into some supernatural creature. You’re human!”
James smoothed the wrinkles in his blue flannel shirt before making his way to the door. He stopped and turned to me.
“Just you wait, doc. I’ll prove it to you,” he seethed. “You better watch your back.”
With a slam of my office door, James was gone.
I took a breath before picking my phone up to call my secretary and to alert security to not let James back in the building.
“I think I’m being stalked,” I admitted to my wife Lauren. It had been a rough week with patients, plus I kept receiving threatening letters in the mail. But I couldn’t tell Lauren about it. I didn’t want to worry her.
We just found out she was expecting.
“You’re being silly, Harrison,” she said, trying to comfort me.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek good night. I turned over in our bed. My heart sank when I saw the shadow of a person glide past my window.
I came home late from work a little later than expected.
My office had been broken into and trashed. I had a sneaking suspicion who did it. Nevertheless, I had to clean my office, file a police report, and finish the rest of my appointments for the day.
Lauren had told me she had a surprise waiting for me at dinner, so I stopped on the way home to pick up flowers and a little gift for Brandon, our four year old son.
The overwhelming stench of iron and something putrid and rotting filled my nostrils as I opened the door to my house.
A massive pool of blood was visible in the kitchen.
I dropped everything in my hands and rushed to the kitchen. I almost puked when I found the dead bodies of my wife and son lying on the dining room table.
Half of Brandon’s face had been chewed off, his frozen expression that of terror.
Lauren had been disemboweled. Her intestines and other miscellaneous organs strewn about the table. On her chest was her uterus, which had been half eaten.
I fell to my knees and started bawling my eyes out. My family had been murdered.
Something growled animalistically behind me, “Believe me now?”
My stomach flipped. A tall emaciated figure stood in the doorway. It’s arms were disproportionately longer than its torso. Its hands and wrists were caked in blood. Sharp teeth glinted in artificial light. That putrid smell from earlier worsened.
A wendigo. James. It had to be.
He’d been right all along.
The wendigo pounced, but I managed to dodge. James recovered with supernatural speed as I ran as fast as I could for safety.
I lunged for the door to my home office for protection. I kept a pistol in there.
I managed to reach the gun before James reached me. He ripped the door off the hinges and bellowed out a blood curdling roar. I managed to squeeze past him and into the hallway. I took the safety off and cocked the gun, praying I had left it loaded.
click-click
James crawled up the banister of my stairs, hanging off of it like a monkey. He had chased me into a corner.
I braced myself as the thing that used to be my patient jumped. As James barreled towards me with a sadistic smile on his mutilated face, I pulled the trigger and aimed right for his chest. The force of the blast knocked me down.
When I regained my bearings, there was no monstrously disfigured body on the floor in front of me. Instead, my front door was swinging wide open.
James was in the wind. He left me alone, with my dead wife and kid in the next room. Grief and anger flooded my veins.
All I wanted to do at that moment was kill James King for what he’d done. I wanted to kill myself for not believing him and allowing this to happen.
Then I remembered reading about something online. The wendigo’s weakness was fire.
I could kill it with fire.
I could kill James with fire.
So much for a mugging, eh?

Load Flash.dll failed! 

Long time lurker, first time poster. So my (28M) wife (28F) have been together 8 years, married 3 years. We had our first child 13 months ago. Since then we haven’t really had much physical affection. We tried regular and special dates, buying cute costumes and outfits for each other, getting nights away from the baby, random flowers, mirror messages, and even trying to schedule sex. She is adjusting to her new body, which I’ve been extremely patient with (in my opinion). But she seems to have no desire to cater to my needs sexually. I understand not wanting piv sex because she can have pains in her vagina sometimes, but I’ve tried to compromise.
I am a pleaser in bed and my aphrodisiac is when I feel like I can please my partner. Then I choose to get off. That being said, I love giving oral sex. She’s let me know penetrative sex hurts sometimes but oral still can be pleasurable. I’ve given her a “free pass” on oral sex and massages (back, chest, belly, temple, hand & foot, etc). In that she can receive those whenever she wants if I’m willing and able (not sleeping, not working, etc.). I did this as a way to help her recover from baby, gain more self esteem, re-learn her body and sensations, and feel overall sexier and wanted by her husband. But she doesn’t want sex at all with me. She doesn’t initiate, she doesn’t touch me intimately, she says she’s drained from caring for our child, her body hurts, it’s weird for me to touch her sexually because she wasn’t “expecting it”, etc. I try to help her around the house as much as I can, initiate physical touch without expecting sexual advances, pay our bills, clean when I get off of work, change poopy diapers, talk about feelings and have transparent communication, spend quality time with her at night after our son is sleeping at the sacrifice of my sleep, and workout regularly to allow her something to be physically attracted to.
When I talk to her about my want/need for physical intimacy and how it makes me feel not receiving it, she will listen and understand but little to nothing will change. She will try a kiss or 2 extra the next day but then say she needs to step back and that it feels forced. I’ll bring up that I don’t mind blowjobs, handjobs, or anything really. But I say blowjobs because that’s my favorite way to be pleasured, but she just won’t. I keep myself clean, have a decent diet, and try to manscape to make things as pleasant as possible for her. Prior to marriage and baby she would willingly do this, I wouldn’t even have to ask. But now it seems like I’d be better off eating my own hand rather than asking for physical affection or oral sex.
Lately, I’ve been feeling unwanted, undesirable, not sexy/handsome, and like my son gets more affection from MY woman than I do. It hurts me everyday but I try my best to be respectful of how she feels while also expressing my feelings to her. I have had thoughts and temptations of cheating but I couldn’t do that to her, God, or my family.
Any advice on how to possibly increase the physical affection she has for me? Is there a way for women to feel more comfortable giving oral sex or anything I can do to help her want to give oral more? Is it just a lost cause and I need to be okay with the infrequent pleasure I get sexually? Am I missing something or doing something wrong?
P.S. in college, I did receive oral from a girl while my wife was my girlfriend (6 years ago) but that was all that physically happened. I used to seek attention through dating apps during our relationship but never had intercourse with anyone. I understand the incident with getting oral sex could create a mental block in her mind when it comes to oral but it’s been so long since that’s happened and I feel like I’ve given her every reason to know that wouldn’t happen again.
TLDR; wife (28f) and I (28m) have been together 8 years, married 3, and have a 1 year old. Sex is almost nonexistent after baby and I feel like I’ve tried everything I can to help the issue. I specifically would like more blowjobs but she doesn’t initiate any physical affection. Is it normal to go through this? Does it get better? Is there anything I can do/not do to help it? I feel unwanted by the only person I should be looking to feel wanted by.

TW: Mentions of drug abuse and self harm
“Well, Mr. King, it’s been quite a while since you’ve last been in that chair,” I said, greeting my two o’ clock appointment.
It’s always nice to meet with previous patients of mine, however there’s always a twinge of sadness to it. As a therapist, you never really want to see a familiar face sitting on the other side of your desk again.
The man sitting across from me chuckled lightly, sweeping some of his light brown hair out of his blue eyes. He readjusted himself in the chair. “Please, Dr. Morris, call me James.”
“Alright then, James,” I said, dropping the formality. Playfully I added, “It’s still Dr. Morris to you, though.”
“Alright, Harrison,” he quipped back with a sly smile. In response, I smiled and laughed.
Even though it’s been two years since I last saw James, he was still as charming as I remembered him to be.
“So,” he started, locking his hands together and leaning closer to me in his chair, “How’s the wife, doc? The kid?”
“I’m not paid to sit here and talk about myself, James. Let’s talk about what’s going on with you, shall we? Why are you here?”
“Okay, no time for small talk, I get that,” he mumbled.
I sat comfortably in my plush leather desk chair waiting for him to answer my question. A tense moment of silence passed. James’s cheerful mask slipped away, revealing a harder, more solemn expression.
He cleared his throat before he finally gave me an answer. “I- uh… I was mugged.”
“I’m sorry that you experienced that,” I apologized genuinely. “It must’ve been traumatizing.”
“It was,” was all he said.
“Do you want to talk about it, James? I’m assuming that’s why you scheduled an appointment with me after all?”
He nervously twiddled with his thumbs before giving me a very abridged version of events. “The boys and I were hanging out at my parents' cabin up in Mount Glenda. I went out for a late night walk and got attacked. Was in the hospital for a couple days. Now I’m here.”
“Do you remember much from the attack?” I questioned, noticing there weren’t any visible scratches or contusions on him. He was wearing black acid wash jeans and a button up flannel shirt, so it’s possible he was attempting to cover them up.
“I- I’d rather not recount that right now, if that’s alright with you, Dr. Morris.”
I nodded my head understandably. “Okay.”
James started picking at some skin on his fingers, a common nervous habit for him. “Thanks, doc. It’s still a little fresh to talk about.”
“It’s not a problem. We can talk about it whenever you’re ready, James.” Changing the topic, I asked, “So, how are things with you and Katie?”
James scrunched his eyelids closed and wrinkled his nose at the mention of her name. If an onlooker didn’t know any better, they’d say I’d just punched him in the face.
I frowned. “Last time you were here, you two were hitting it off pretty well. So well, in fact, you stopped scheduling sessions with me.”
“We broke up,” he admitted, messing with one of the cuffs on his red and white flannel sleeves. “That’s why we were up on Mount Glenda in the first place. My friends wanted to help cheer me up. Help me get over her.”
“Well that was nice of them,” I commented, writing down some observations I’d made. Given the way he avoided eye contact and became anxious while talking about the events that led up to his attack, a PTSD diagnosis was certainly in the cards after a violent experience such as a mugging. But, I needed to fully complete my evaluation before I could say anything was concrete.
“They had good intentions,” he grumbled.
“Why did you and Katie break up, if you don’t mind me asking? Was it amicable?”
James scoffed. “If by amicable, you mean she cheated and left me for the other guy, then yeah you can say it was amicable.”
“Mhm,” I muttered, taking more notes. “Want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about?” James raised his voice slightly. “She cheated on me and we broke up!”
Clearly I’d struck a nerve. I cleared my throat and moved on. “Why don’t we talk about something else, then? How’s work at the diner? How are your courses going at university?”
“L-look, Dr. Morris, I don’t even know why I came here,”James laughed out breathlessly, starting to stand up from his chair. “I’m sorry for wasting your time.”
I stood up with James, gently placing my hand on one of his. He paused and I could see in his eyes he was hurting. I could sense he wanted someone to talk to. Needed someone to talk to.
“How about this, James, why don’t we end our session early today. Go home, drink a warm beverage, take a nap. Come see me next week. Friday, same time.”
James nodded his head, “Ok doc.”
I called out suddenly as he was about to walk out the door. “You can come back anytime before then. If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you James.”
James flashed me a weak smile before walking out of my office.
I was unsure if I’d see James again. He seemed to be teetering on the edge of a depressive episode the last time we spoke. It’s not easy to ask for help once a person passes that threshold. So, I was glad when I saw he had requested an emergency session with me just a couple days before his next scheduled appointment.
“I was attacked!” James exclaimed, rushing into my office. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt with a gray zip up jacket and a pair of blue jeans. Slung over his shoulder was a black backpack with a red stripe down the sides.
I disregarded his incredibly rude entrance and placed my phone face down on the desk. I adjusted my reading glasses and raised an eyebrow inquisitively.
“I know? You were mugged.”
“No. No, no, you don’t understand,” James said, tapping his pointer finger on his temple erratically. “I was attacked, not by a person, but by something!”
I crossed one leg over the other and leaned in closer to him. I wondered where this was heading. “How do you mean James? You weren’t mugged? Were you attacked by an animal?”
“No I was mugged,” he explained, tucking a small tuft of his medium length hair behind his ear. “My wallet and phone were gone when my friends found me.”
As confusing as it sounded, this was good. James was opening up more about his mugging.
I sat with a puzzled expression, waiting for Mr. King to elaborate.
“I was mugged alright,”James paused for dramatic effect. “Mugged by a werewolf!”
I had to stifle a laugh. Trying my best to keep my expression neutral I asked, “You? Mugged by a… werewolf?”
James nodded his head frantically. He looked tired. Like he hadn’t gotten a good night's sleep in a couple of days.
“Do you maybe want to describe exactly what happened when you were mugged, James? Help me understand what you saw.”
“It was dark,” he started, taking a seat in his usual chair. He clutched the backpack closely to his chest. “I didn’t see much, but I *know* I was attacked. It was quick and fast, smelled real bad too! It was a werewolf, I’m telling you! It had to be… and I think it turned me.”
Oh this couldn’t be good.
The blood-shot eyes.
Delusions of grandeur, more fantastical than ever.
His unstable and nervous demeanor.
“Are- are you using again, James?” I placed my hand gently on one of his, a gesture to show that I cared and was worried about him.
James was a recovering addict, it’s one of the reasons he started seeing me in the first place.
He quickly withdrew his hand from under mine. He scoffed. “Y-you don’t believe me do you?”
“I believe that you believe you were attacked and turned into a werewolf,” I told him.
Clinical Lycanthropy. I’d heard of it before, but never thought I’d witness a possible case in real life. What a truly fascinating trauma response.
“Tell me why you think that, James.” I clicked my pen, ready to jot down some notes.
James gave me the side eye. I waved it off and prompted him to continue. He gulped before speaking.
“Well, I don’t know how to explain it, doc. Everything just feels… different.”
“Try to explain it,” I urged.
“Everything is just so bright and loud now. So I guess enhanced senses? And I’m hungry. All. The. Time. These cravings I’m having, they’re intense!”
“Cravings?”
“Meat,” he answered. “Lots and lots of meat.”
“Mhm,” I said, nodding along as I wrote down my thoughts. “Have you experienced any accelerated hair growth as well? Lupine-like urges?”
James grunted. “This is serious.”
“And I’m being serious, James,” I countered. “I need you to be as detailed as possible.”
“Listen,” he said earnestly, leaning close, “The full moon is two days from now. I’ll be able to prove it to you then. Come with me before I turn, please?”
Quite frankly I didn’t know how to verbally respond to that type of request. My face however, said it all.
“I’ll even let you video tape it!” he added hastily after seeing my reaction.
I raised an eyebrow inquisitively. Instantly, ideas for experiments and different studies for this disorder ran through my head. Just the thought of researching and exploring this rarely talked about mental phenomenon was making me giddy. I felt like an undergrad student working on my senior thesis again.
“You can use the video to break out in the medical world or something, I don’t know,” James said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
“But why me, James? Why not one of your friends?” I asked, curiously, seriously considering this insane proposition.
“Because, you’re the only person I trust with this. Plus, patient confidentiality and all that jazz.”
I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at that logic. “If you truly believe you’re a werewolf, aren’t you scared of hurting someone? Aren’t you terrified of becoming this big dangerous creature? Why not go off alone?”
“There’s a good reason for that, doc,” James answered, opening his backpack. He reached in and pulled out a thick metal chain. “I need someone to help chain me up.”
I can’t believe I’m doing this, I thought to myself as I walked into Nancy’s diner. James had requested we meet up for dinner before we headed off to see his “transition.”
Me meeting up with a patient outside of office hours was practically unheard of, and on top of that, extremely unprofessional. I honestly don’t know what’s worse, me aiding James with his delusion or the fact I was excited to see where this would go.
The inside of the diner was much warmer compared to the ambient temperature outside. So as I searched the small dining room for James, I took my overcoat off and slung it around my forearm.
James spotted me and waved me over excitedly. I walked over to the small booth and sat down across from him. It felt like we were in my office again.
“Cozy,” I said. James chuckled and took a sip of water.
He was wearing a thick gray hoodie, some dark blue jeans, and some converse sneakers. I wore my usual work attire, black slacks and a light colored long sleeve cotton button up.
“Are you alright James?” I asked, noticing how shaky he was. He started rubbing his arms intensely.
I made a mental note of this. If James had been using drugs again, he was most certainly in the beginning processes of withdrawal.
He rubbed his arms some more before answering me. “Just fine. It’s just *freezing* in this diner.”
I offered him my coat, which he graciously accepted.
“Thanks. And thanks again for coming all the way out here. Dr. Morris-“
“Please James,” I stopped him, “I’m off the clock now. You can call me Harrison.”
“H-Harrison,” he stuttered, “I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you coming out here. Once I prove my ‘condition’ to you, you’ll have no choice but to believe me. I know if I’d gone to anyone else they’d have just thought I was on Stardust again and not given me a chance.”
Well James, the consensus was still out on that last one.
I smiled and nodded. It was clear James was mentally unwell, probably due to both his break up and the trauma from his attack. I was merely here to make sure he didn’t harm himself with his little demonstration tonight, or at least that’s what I was telling myself.
What are the chances James actually does transform into a monster tonight? It’s improbable to happen, but there’s always that excitement that comes with the question: What if?
“Hi, welcome in!” Our waitress greeted, bringing me a menu and a glass of water. Her name tag read Jenny. “What can I get started for you this fine evening?”
James ordered first. “I think I’ll have a cheeseburger. Every thing on it and I’ll take that rare please.”
Jenny nodded as she jotted down his order in her book. She then looked at me. “I’ll just have the Cesar salad please.”
“Alrighty, folks!” Jenny announced as she snapped her book shut enthusiastically. “Your food will be out in just a moment.”
I looked out the window our booth was sitting next to. The horizon was full of light pastel colors as the sun started to set.
“If you’re worried about nightfall, I’ll turn when the full moon is at its peak. That’s what the internet says, at least.” James informed me. “You won’t have to worry about me, ya know, before then.”
I disguised my scoff as a laugh as I continued looking out at the pretty sunset.
Our food came out and we started eating. I don’t know if James was just putting on a show or what, but he stared at his cheeseburger like he hadn’t eaten for a year. He sunk his teeth into his food at the same time I took the first bite of my salad. James scrunched his face in confusion. Then he waved our server over.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He started.
Jenny’s unnaturally happy smile faltered. My eyeballs almost burst from their sockets. I started choking on my salad at James’s brash outburst.
“I asked for my cheeseburger RARE! Does this look RARE to you?” James shoved his cheeseburger in our waitresses face.
“I- I uh,” Jenny stumbled, clearly taken aback.
“Make me a new burger, rare like I asked for,” he demanded. “You can charge me for this one too, I’ll eat both of them.”
Jenny nodded before quickly running into the diner's kitchen, clearly about to cry.
I just sat there in shock as James tore back into his cheeseburger like it was a turkey leg you get at Medieval Times. He demolished that thing in three bites. Since he ordered his burger rare it didn’t take too long for his second one to come out. James then demanded our waitress bring him a full rack of BBQ ribs.
She looked to me for help to control my friend, but I was just as flabbergasted as she was. I hadn’t touched my salad as I sat in awe watching James.
If he was acting, he deserved an Oscar. It was actually kind of terrifying seeing him act like this.
It looked like James was on the cusp of an orgasm as he took the first bite of his second cheeseburger. Once again, it was gone in a couple bites. James snacked on his fries as he patiently waited for his ribs.
Jenny laid down the huge oval plate with a very judgmental look on her face. She scoffed as she took away James’s empty plates.
James waved her off as he began inhaling rib after rib. He devoured those ribs like he didn’t know when his next meal would be. He finished the whole rack of ribs only a couple minutes after Jenny had brought them out to him.
“Laying it on there real thick, huh, buddy?” I said sarcastically. Truth be told, I was bewildered that he actually managed to eat all that food.
James wiped all the barbecue sauce that had accumulated around his mouth with a couple napkins as he finished his meal. “What do you mean by that, Doc?”
“This whole…” I leaned in close to him and whispered,” werewolf thing. I mean the food, your aggression towards our server? That’s not like you, James.”
“I told you, doc, I haven’t been feeling myself. All day I’ve been agitated, and on top of that starving! It must be the moon. It’s affecting me.”
I rolled my eyes. There’s no way he was blaming his behavior on the moon. This Clinical Lycanthropy thing was pretty bizarre to witness.
James checked his watch before standing up and chucking a wad of cash on the table. “C’mon let’s go. It’ll be time soon.”
Still in a fugue state of shock, I followed James out of the diner. He got in his car and I got in mine. James quickly peeled out of the small parking lot. I followed closely behind him.
Honestly I was kind of relieved to have space from him. James was almost starting to freak me out, and that’s saying a lot coming from a therapist because I’ve seen some weird shit before.
We drove for about ten minutes before driving down a random dirt road. James got out of his car and prompted me to follow him. The two of us walked for about five minutes before arriving at this old rickety looking gazebo that was in the middle of nowhere.
“James, you seriously can’t still believe this can you?” I questioned as he pulled a thick and heavy chain out of his backpack. He handed it to me, the weight of it almost knocking me off balance. I’m surprised he carried that thing on his back without breaking a sweat.
James looked up at the clear night sky worriedly, the full moon slowly rising higher in the sky, “Hurry up, doc,” he pleaded, taking off my jacket and his hoodie
I stared at the now shirtless James, confused.
“So I don’t tear through it when I turn,” he explained nonchalantly. “The pants stay on for obvious reasons. I’m not getting fully nude in front of my therapist.”
“Yeah, cuz that’s weird,”I sighed, tying one end of the chain to the sturdiest looking part of the gazebo. The other end was wrapped around his waist and then his wrists.
“Okay,” James said after checking the time on his phone. “The moon should be at its peak within the next minute.”
I set up my phone across from him and pressed record. The light from the moon intensified as it reached its peak in the night sky.
James clenched his eyes shut and braced for pain, letting out a couple of anticipatory grunts.
He did look pretty sweaty and unwell, I have to admit. It could just be from all that food he ate, I rationalized.
James stayed that way, bracing himself for something to happen. He looked pretty uneasy. Scared. I felt bad for him.
A couple minutes passed and nothing happened.
“Wasn’t something supposed to happen by now?” I asked, stopping the recording on my phone.
James opened his eyes and looked down at his very human hands. “Maybe Google was wrong. Let’s wait a little longer.”
“James,” I said testingly. “You can’t let this go on.”
“Please,” he begged. “I need this, Harrison. Please!”
I scoffed, climbing down the steps of the gazebo and kicked a rock. I started walking back to my car before turning around. “Fine. We can wait a little longer.”
An hour passed and nothing happened to James. I got fed up and finally freed him from the chain.
“I- I don’t understand,” James looked dejected. “Nothing happened. Why didn’t I turn into a werewolf?”
“C’mon James it’s getting late,” I said, not answering his question. Instead, I put my hand on his bare shoulder to try and comfort him. He dragged his feet while I guided him back to his car. He looked like he was about to cry.
“Let’s go home.”
“Jesus, James, have you been eating?”
It was a couple days after the whole werewolf thing was debunked. James had just come in for his regular session. He looked worryingly thin, almost emaciated. To lose that large amount of weight in only a couple days wasn’t healthy. I worried the events that transpired the other night made James spiral even deeper.
It was quite embarrassing to witness, so I can only imagine how he was feeling.
“Yes!” He said plopping down in his chair. He must not have showered in a couple days judging by the ripe smell that wafted off him. “That’s all I’ve been doing!”
I wrote some notes down. He started lying. This wasn’t good.
“Mr. King-“
“I had it all wrong,”James interrupted me, almost excitedly. “I’ve been doing research. I know what happened now.”
“Oh really?” I asked. James was starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist now.
“I was cursed,” he stated matter-of-a-factly.
I wrote some more notes down. “Cursed?”
“By a wendigo.”
“James, not this again,” I said with a heavy sigh.
“I’m serious, it all lines up! The hunger, the weight loss, why I’m always cold all of a fucking sudden! Not to mention the slow transformation and matching symptoms to lycanthropy.”
“Wendigo’s don’t exist. They’re just creatures of Navajo folklore,” I said, exasperated.
What does exist, however, is Wendigo psychosis.
t’s a mental condition where someone believes they are becoming this cannibalistic creature. It usually stems from the person believing they lack the food and resources to stay nourished, especially during the winter, which causes them to turn to cannibalism.
I found out about it while researching more on Clinical Lycanthropy.
Sure, his skin had shrunk around his nails making them look longer, sharper too, and his skin was pale and sweaty. With how skinny he had become, he did look taller too, but that didn’t mean he was a Wendigo. He was using it as confirmation bias.
“James, let’s be rational here.”
“I AM BEING RATIONAL!” He yelled, getting up from his seat. He started pacing around the room nervously.
“Clearly,” I mumbled. “James, if you think this is true, how do you think you became ‘cursed’?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” James let out a maniac laugh. “The mugging! That thing must’ve attacked me and cursed me. That’s the only reason why it let me live. According to my research, not many people live to tell their tales about encountering these things. Harrison, please! I need your help trying to reverse this curse. I want to go back to normal!”
James’s mental spiral was becoming quite concerning. If I let this continue, someone was bound to get hurt.
“James,” I said softly, sliding a business card over to him. It was a contact number for a mental hospital named Brightburn. “I don’t think I can help you. But they can.”
“You’re a skeptic!” He shouted, throwing the card across the room.
“And you’re delusional!” I snapped. “I mean Wendigo’s and Werewolves?! James, you're unwell!”
“I wonder why!” He shouted, gesturing to himself. “Do you see what I’m becoming!”
“James, you’re not a wendigo!”
“I am!”
“You’re not!” I paused and lowered my voice. “Katie cheated on you! Left you for another guy.” James’s face fell when I brought up his ex.
I continued, explaining further, “So now you’re using this mugging as an excuse to make yourself something you’re not. You’re trying to make yourself seem like something bigger than you actually are, James. When deep down all you’re really doing is trying to do is show her that you’re someone worth staying with. Someone worth not cheating on!”
“You have no right to bring Katie into this!” James cried. “That’s not what’s happening! I’ve been cursed, I’m telling you!”
He grabbed his chair and chucked it across the room in a fit of anger. My chair splintered into a million pieces.
I sat back in my chair and sighed, rubbing my temples. “You say you want help, James. They can help you more than I can. If you don’t want to go, then that’s on you. But if you won’t help yourself, I can’t be your therapist any more.”
“No- don’t do this. Doc, you’re the only one I have.” James pleaded.
“You can’t keep this charade up anymore! I’ve indulged you long enough. You’re not turning into some supernatural creature. You’re human!”
James smoothed the wrinkles in his blue flannel shirt before making his way to the door. He stopped and turned to me.
“Just you wait, doc. I’ll prove it to you,” he seethed. “You better watch your back.”
With a slam of my office door, James was gone.
I took a breath before picking my phone up to call my secretary and to alert security to not let James back in the building.
“I think I’m being stalked,” I admitted to my wife Lauren. It had been a rough week with patients, plus I kept receiving threatening letters in the mail. But I couldn’t tell Lauren about it. I didn’t want to worry her.
We just found out she was expecting.
“You’re being silly, Harrison,” she said, trying to comfort me.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek good night. I turned over in our bed. My heart sank when I saw the shadow of a person glide past my window.
I came home late from work a little later than expected.
My office had been broken into and trashed. I had a sneaking suspicion who did it. Nevertheless, I had to clean my office, file a police report, and finish the rest of my appointments for the day.
Lauren had told me she had a surprise waiting for me at dinner, so I stopped on the way home to pick up flowers and a little gift for Brandon, our four year old son.
The overwhelming stench of iron and something putrid and rotting filled my nostrils as I opened the door to my house.
A massive pool of blood was visible in the kitchen.
I dropped everything in my hands and rushed to the kitchen. I almost puked when I found the dead bodies of my wife and son lying on the dining room table.
Half of Brandon’s face had been chewed off, his frozen expression that of terror.
Lauren had been disemboweled. Her intestines and other miscellaneous organs strewn about the table. On her chest was her uterus, which had been half eaten.
I fell to my knees and started bawling my eyes out. My family had been murdered.
Something growled animalistically behind me, “Believe me now?”
My stomach flipped. A tall emaciated figure stood in the doorway. It’s arms were disproportionately longer than its torso. Its hands and wrists were caked in blood. Sharp teeth glinted in artificial light. That putrid smell from earlier worsened.
A wendigo. James. It had to be.
He’d been right all along.
The wendigo pounced, but I managed to dodge. James recovered with supernatural speed as I ran as fast as I could for safety.
I lunged for the door to my home office for protection. I kept a pistol in there.
I managed to reach the gun before James reached me. He ripped the door off the hinges and bellowed out a blood curdling roar. I managed to squeeze past him and into the hallway. I took the safety off and cocked the gun, praying I had left it loaded.
click-click
James crawled up the banister of my stairs, hanging off of it like a monkey. He had chased me into a corner.
I braced myself as the thing that used to be my patient jumped. As James barreled towards me with a sadistic smile on his mutilated face, I pulled the trigger and aimed right for his chest. The force of the blast knocked me down.
When I regained my bearings, there was no monstrously disfigured body on the floor in front of me. Instead, my front door was swinging wide open.
James was in the wind. He left me alone, with my dead wife and kid in the next room. Grief and anger flooded my veins.
All I wanted to do at that moment was kill James King for what he’d done. I wanted to kill myself for not believing him and allowing this to happen.
Then I remembered reading about something online. The wendigo’s weakness was fire.
I could kill it with fire.
I could kill James with fire.
So much for a mugging, eh?

TW: Mentions of drug abuse and self harm
“Well, Mr. King, it’s been quite a while since you’ve last been in that chair,” I said, greeting my two o’ clock appointment.
It’s always nice to meet with previous patients of mine, however there’s always a twinge of sadness to it. As a therapist, you never really want to see a familiar face sitting on the other side of your desk again.
The man sitting across from me chuckled lightly, sweeping some of his light brown hair out of his blue eyes. He readjusted himself in the chair. “Please, Dr. Morris, call me James.”
“Alright then, James,” I said, dropping the formality. Playfully I added, “It’s still Dr. Morris to you, though.”
“Alright, Harrison,” he quipped back with a sly smile. In response, I smiled and laughed.
Even though it’s been two years since I last saw James, he was still as charming as I remembered him to be.
“So,” he started, locking his hands together and leaning closer to me in his chair, “How’s the wife, doc? The kid?”
“I’m not paid to sit here and talk about myself, James. Let’s talk about what’s going on with you, shall we? Why are you here?”
“Okay, no time for small talk, I get that,” he mumbled.
I sat comfortably in my plush leather desk chair waiting for him to answer my question. A tense moment of silence passed. James’s cheerful mask slipped away, revealing a harder, more solemn expression.
He cleared his throat before he finally gave me an answer. “I- uh… I was mugged.”
“I’m sorry that you experienced that,” I apologized genuinely. “It must’ve been traumatizing.”
“It was,” was all he said.
“Do you want to talk about it, James? I’m assuming that’s why you scheduled an appointment with me after all?”
He nervously twiddled with his thumbs before giving me a very abridged version of events. “The boys and I were hanging out at my parents' cabin up in Mount Glenda. I went out for a late night walk and got attacked. Was in the hospital for a couple days. Now I’m here.”
“Do you remember much from the attack?” I questioned, noticing there weren’t any visible scratches or contusions on him. He was wearing black acid wash jeans and a button up flannel shirt, so it’s possible he was attempting to cover them up.
“I- I’d rather not recount that right now, if that’s alright with you, Dr. Morris.”
I nodded my head understandably. “Okay.”
James started picking at some skin on his fingers, a common nervous habit for him. “Thanks, doc. It’s still a little fresh to talk about.”
“It’s not a problem. We can talk about it whenever you’re ready, James.” Changing the topic, I asked, “So, how are things with you and Katie?”
James scrunched his eyelids closed and wrinkled his nose at the mention of her name. If an onlooker didn’t know any better, they’d say I’d just punched him in the face.
I frowned. “Last time you were here, you two were hitting it off pretty well. So well, in fact, you stopped scheduling sessions with me.”
“We broke up,” he admitted, messing with one of the cuffs on his red and white flannel sleeves. “That’s why we were up on Mount Glenda in the first place. My friends wanted to help cheer me up. Help me get over her.”
“Well that was nice of them,” I commented, writing down some observations I’d made. Given the way he avoided eye contact and became anxious while talking about the events that led up to his attack, a PTSD diagnosis was certainly in the cards after a violent experience such as a mugging. But, I needed to fully complete my evaluation before I could say anything was concrete.
“They had good intentions,” he grumbled.
“Why did you and Katie break up, if you don’t mind me asking? Was it amicable?”
James scoffed. “If by amicable, you mean she cheated and left me for the other guy, then yeah you can say it was amicable.”
“Mhm,” I muttered, taking more notes. “Want to talk about it?”
“What’s there to talk about?” James raised his voice slightly. “She cheated on me and we broke up!”
Clearly I’d struck a nerve. I cleared my throat and moved on. “Why don’t we talk about something else, then? How’s work at the diner? How are your courses going at university?”
“L-look, Dr. Morris, I don’t even know why I came here,”James laughed out breathlessly, starting to stand up from his chair. “I’m sorry for wasting your time.”
I stood up with James, gently placing my hand on one of his. He paused and I could see in his eyes he was hurting. I could sense he wanted someone to talk to. Needed someone to talk to.
“How about this, James, why don’t we end our session early today. Go home, drink a warm beverage, take a nap. Come see me next week. Friday, same time.”
James nodded his head, “Ok doc.”
I called out suddenly as he was about to walk out the door. “You can come back anytime before then. If you want to talk about it, I’m here for you James.”
James flashed me a weak smile before walking out of my office.
I was unsure if I’d see James again. He seemed to be teetering on the edge of a depressive episode the last time we spoke. It’s not easy to ask for help once a person passes that threshold. So, I was glad when I saw he had requested an emergency session with me just a couple days before his next scheduled appointment.
“I was attacked!” James exclaimed, rushing into my office. He was wearing a plain white t-shirt with a gray zip up jacket and a pair of blue jeans. Slung over his shoulder was a black backpack with a red stripe down the sides.
I disregarded his incredibly rude entrance and placed my phone face down on the desk. I adjusted my reading glasses and raised an eyebrow inquisitively.
“I know? You were mugged.”
“No. No, no, you don’t understand,” James said, tapping his pointer finger on his temple erratically. “I was attacked, not by a person, but by something!”
I crossed one leg over the other and leaned in closer to him. I wondered where this was heading. “How do you mean James? You weren’t mugged? Were you attacked by an animal?”
“No I was mugged,” he explained, tucking a small tuft of his medium length hair behind his ear. “My wallet and phone were gone when my friends found me.”
As confusing as it sounded, this was good. James was opening up more about his mugging.
I sat with a puzzled expression, waiting for Mr. King to elaborate.
“I was mugged alright,”James paused for dramatic effect. “Mugged by a werewolf!”
I had to stifle a laugh. Trying my best to keep my expression neutral I asked, “You? Mugged by a… werewolf?”
James nodded his head frantically. He looked tired. Like he hadn’t gotten a good night's sleep in a couple of days.
“Do you maybe want to describe exactly what happened when you were mugged, James? Help me understand what you saw.”
“It was dark,” he started, taking a seat in his usual chair. He clutched the backpack closely to his chest. “I didn’t see much, but I *know* I was attacked. It was quick and fast, smelled real bad too! It was a werewolf, I’m telling you! It had to be… and I think it turned me.”
Oh this couldn’t be good.
The blood-shot eyes.
Delusions of grandeur, more fantastical than ever.
His unstable and nervous demeanor.
“Are- are you using again, James?” I placed my hand gently on one of his, a gesture to show that I cared and was worried about him.
James was a recovering addict, it’s one of the reasons he started seeing me in the first place.
He quickly withdrew his hand from under mine. He scoffed. “Y-you don’t believe me do you?”
“I believe that you believe you were attacked and turned into a werewolf,” I told him.
Clinical Lycanthropy. I’d heard of it before, but never thought I’d witness a possible case in real life. What a truly fascinating trauma response.
“Tell me why you think that, James.” I clicked my pen, ready to jot down some notes.
James gave me the side eye. I waved it off and prompted him to continue. He gulped before speaking.
“Well, I don’t know how to explain it, doc. Everything just feels… different.”
“Try to explain it,” I urged.
“Everything is just so bright and loud now. So I guess enhanced senses? And I’m hungry. All. The. Time. These cravings I’m having, they’re intense!”
“Cravings?”
“Meat,” he answered. “Lots and lots of meat.”
“Mhm,” I said, nodding along as I wrote down my thoughts. “Have you experienced any accelerated hair growth as well? Lupine-like urges?”
James grunted. “This is serious.”
“And I’m being serious, James,” I countered. “I need you to be as detailed as possible.”
“Listen,” he said earnestly, leaning close, “The full moon is two days from now. I’ll be able to prove it to you then. Come with me before I turn, please?”
Quite frankly I didn’t know how to verbally respond to that type of request. My face however, said it all.
“I’ll even let you video tape it!” he added hastily after seeing my reaction.
I raised an eyebrow inquisitively. Instantly, ideas for experiments and different studies for this disorder ran through my head. Just the thought of researching and exploring this rarely talked about mental phenomenon was making me giddy. I felt like an undergrad student working on my senior thesis again.
“You can use the video to break out in the medical world or something, I don’t know,” James said, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.
“But why me, James? Why not one of your friends?” I asked, curiously, seriously considering this insane proposition.
“Because, you’re the only person I trust with this. Plus, patient confidentiality and all that jazz.”
I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at that logic. “If you truly believe you’re a werewolf, aren’t you scared of hurting someone? Aren’t you terrified of becoming this big dangerous creature? Why not go off alone?”
“There’s a good reason for that, doc,” James answered, opening his backpack. He reached in and pulled out a thick metal chain. “I need someone to help chain me up.”
I can’t believe I’m doing this, I thought to myself as I walked into Nancy’s diner. James had requested we meet up for dinner before we headed off to see his “transition.”
Me meeting up with a patient outside of office hours was practically unheard of, and on top of that, extremely unprofessional. I honestly don’t know what’s worse, me aiding James with his delusion or the fact I was excited to see where this would go.
The inside of the diner was much warmer compared to the ambient temperature outside. So as I searched the small dining room for James, I took my overcoat off and slung it around my forearm.
James spotted me and waved me over excitedly. I walked over to the small booth and sat down across from him. It felt like we were in my office again.
“Cozy,” I said. James chuckled and took a sip of water.
He was wearing a thick gray hoodie, some dark blue jeans, and some converse sneakers. I wore my usual work attire, black slacks and a light colored long sleeve cotton button up.
“Are you alright James?” I asked, noticing how shaky he was. He started rubbing his arms intensely.
I made a mental note of this. If James had been using drugs again, he was most certainly in the beginning processes of withdrawal.
He rubbed his arms some more before answering me. “Just fine. It’s just *freezing* in this diner.”
I offered him my coat, which he graciously accepted.
“Thanks. And thanks again for coming all the way out here. Dr. Morris-“
“Please James,” I stopped him, “I’m off the clock now. You can call me Harrison.”
“H-Harrison,” he stuttered, “I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate you coming out here. Once I prove my ‘condition’ to you, you’ll have no choice but to believe me. I know if I’d gone to anyone else they’d have just thought I was on Stardust again and not given me a chance.”
Well James, the consensus was still out on that last one.
I smiled and nodded. It was clear James was mentally unwell, probably due to both his break up and the trauma from his attack. I was merely here to make sure he didn’t harm himself with his little demonstration tonight, or at least that’s what I was telling myself.
What are the chances James actually does transform into a monster tonight? It’s improbable to happen, but there’s always that excitement that comes with the question: What if?
“Hi, welcome in!” Our waitress greeted, bringing me a menu and a glass of water. Her name tag read Jenny. “What can I get started for you this fine evening?”
James ordered first. “I think I’ll have a cheeseburger. Every thing on it and I’ll take that rare please.”
Jenny nodded as she jotted down his order in her book. She then looked at me. “I’ll just have the Cesar salad please.”
“Alrighty, folks!” Jenny announced as she snapped her book shut enthusiastically. “Your food will be out in just a moment.”
I looked out the window our booth was sitting next to. The horizon was full of light pastel colors as the sun started to set.
“If you’re worried about nightfall, I’ll turn when the full moon is at its peak. That’s what the internet says, at least.” James informed me. “You won’t have to worry about me, ya know, before then.”
I disguised my scoff as a laugh as I continued looking out at the pretty sunset.
Our food came out and we started eating. I don’t know if James was just putting on a show or what, but he stared at his cheeseburger like he hadn’t eaten for a year. He sunk his teeth into his food at the same time I took the first bite of my salad. James scrunched his face in confusion. Then he waved our server over.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” He started.
Jenny’s unnaturally happy smile faltered. My eyeballs almost burst from their sockets. I started choking on my salad at James’s brash outburst.
“I asked for my cheeseburger RARE! Does this look RARE to you?” James shoved his cheeseburger in our waitresses face.
“I- I uh,” Jenny stumbled, clearly taken aback.
“Make me a new burger, rare like I asked for,” he demanded. “You can charge me for this one too, I’ll eat both of them.”
Jenny nodded before quickly running into the diner's kitchen, clearly about to cry.
I just sat there in shock as James tore back into his cheeseburger like it was a turkey leg you get at Medieval Times. He demolished that thing in three bites. Since he ordered his burger rare it didn’t take too long for his second one to come out. James then demanded our waitress bring him a full rack of BBQ ribs.
She looked to me for help to control my friend, but I was just as flabbergasted as she was. I hadn’t touched my salad as I sat in awe watching James.
If he was acting, he deserved an Oscar. It was actually kind of terrifying seeing him act like this.
It looked like James was on the cusp of an orgasm as he took the first bite of his second cheeseburger. Once again, it was gone in a couple bites. James snacked on his fries as he patiently waited for his ribs.
Jenny laid down the huge oval plate with a very judgmental look on her face. She scoffed as she took away James’s empty plates.
James waved her off as he began inhaling rib after rib. He devoured those ribs like he didn’t know when his next meal would be. He finished the whole rack of ribs only a couple minutes after Jenny had brought them out to him.
“Laying it on there real thick, huh, buddy?” I said sarcastically. Truth be told, I was bewildered that he actually managed to eat all that food.
James wiped all the barbecue sauce that had accumulated around his mouth with a couple napkins as he finished his meal. “What do you mean by that, Doc?”
“This whole…” I leaned in close to him and whispered,” werewolf thing. I mean the food, your aggression towards our server? That’s not like you, James.”
“I told you, doc, I haven’t been feeling myself. All day I’ve been agitated, and on top of that starving! It must be the moon. It’s affecting me.”
I rolled my eyes. There’s no way he was blaming his behavior on the moon. This Clinical Lycanthropy thing was pretty bizarre to witness.
James checked his watch before standing up and chucking a wad of cash on the table. “C’mon let’s go. It’ll be time soon.”
Still in a fugue state of shock, I followed James out of the diner. He got in his car and I got in mine. James quickly peeled out of the small parking lot. I followed closely behind him.
Honestly I was kind of relieved to have space from him. James was almost starting to freak me out, and that’s saying a lot coming from a therapist because I’ve seen some weird shit before.
We drove for about ten minutes before driving down a random dirt road. James got out of his car and prompted me to follow him. The two of us walked for about five minutes before arriving at this old rickety looking gazebo that was in the middle of nowhere.
“James, you seriously can’t still believe this can you?” I questioned as he pulled a thick and heavy chain out of his backpack. He handed it to me, the weight of it almost knocking me off balance. I’m surprised he carried that thing on his back without breaking a sweat.
James looked up at the clear night sky worriedly, the full moon slowly rising higher in the sky, “Hurry up, doc,” he pleaded, taking off my jacket and his hoodie
I stared at the now shirtless James, confused.
“So I don’t tear through it when I turn,” he explained nonchalantly. “The pants stay on for obvious reasons. I’m not getting fully nude in front of my therapist.”
“Yeah, cuz that’s weird,”I sighed, tying one end of the chain to the sturdiest looking part of the gazebo. The other end was wrapped around his waist and then his wrists.
“Okay,” James said after checking the time on his phone. “The moon should be at its peak within the next minute.”
I set up my phone across from him and pressed record. The light from the moon intensified as it reached its peak in the night sky.
James clenched his eyes shut and braced for pain, letting out a couple of anticipatory grunts.
He did look pretty sweaty and unwell, I have to admit. It could just be from all that food he ate, I rationalized.
James stayed that way, bracing himself for something to happen. He looked pretty uneasy. Scared. I felt bad for him.
A couple minutes passed and nothing happened.
“Wasn’t something supposed to happen by now?” I asked, stopping the recording on my phone.
James opened his eyes and looked down at his very human hands. “Maybe Google was wrong. Let’s wait a little longer.”
“James,” I said testingly. “You can’t let this go on.”
“Please,” he begged. “I need this, Harrison. Please!”
I scoffed, climbing down the steps of the gazebo and kicked a rock. I started walking back to my car before turning around. “Fine. We can wait a little longer.”
An hour passed and nothing happened to James. I got fed up and finally freed him from the chain.
“I- I don’t understand,” James looked dejected. “Nothing happened. Why didn’t I turn into a werewolf?”
“C’mon James it’s getting late,” I said, not answering his question. Instead, I put my hand on his bare shoulder to try and comfort him. He dragged his feet while I guided him back to his car. He looked like he was about to cry.
“Let’s go home.”
“Jesus, James, have you been eating?”
It was a couple days after the whole werewolf thing was debunked. James had just come in for his regular session. He looked worryingly thin, almost emaciated. To lose that large amount of weight in only a couple days wasn’t healthy. I worried the events that transpired the other night made James spiral even deeper.
It was quite embarrassing to witness, so I can only imagine how he was feeling.
“Yes!” He said plopping down in his chair. He must not have showered in a couple days judging by the ripe smell that wafted off him. “That’s all I’ve been doing!”
I wrote some notes down. He started lying. This wasn’t good.
“Mr. King-“
“I had it all wrong,”James interrupted me, almost excitedly. “I’ve been doing research. I know what happened now.”
“Oh really?” I asked. James was starting to sound like a conspiracy theorist now.
“I was cursed,” he stated matter-of-a-factly.
I wrote some more notes down. “Cursed?”
“By a wendigo.”
“James, not this again,” I said with a heavy sigh.
“I’m serious, it all lines up! The hunger, the weight loss, why I’m always cold all of a fucking sudden! Not to mention the slow transformation and matching symptoms to lycanthropy.”
“Wendigo’s don’t exist. They’re just creatures of Navajo folklore,” I said, exasperated.
What does exist, however, is Wendigo psychosis.
t’s a mental condition where someone believes they are becoming this cannibalistic creature. It usually stems from the person believing they lack the food and resources to stay nourished, especially during the winter, which causes them to turn to cannibalism.
I found out about it while researching more on Clinical Lycanthropy.
Sure, his skin had shrunk around his nails making them look longer, sharper too, and his skin was pale and sweaty. With how skinny he had become, he did look taller too, but that didn’t mean he was a Wendigo. He was using it as confirmation bias.
“James, let’s be rational here.”
“I AM BEING RATIONAL!” He yelled, getting up from his seat. He started pacing around the room nervously.
“Clearly,” I mumbled. “James, if you think this is true, how do you think you became ‘cursed’?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” James let out a maniac laugh. “The mugging! That thing must’ve attacked me and cursed me. That’s the only reason why it let me live. According to my research, not many people live to tell their tales about encountering these things. Harrison, please! I need your help trying to reverse this curse. I want to go back to normal!”
James’s mental spiral was becoming quite concerning. If I let this continue, someone was bound to get hurt.
“James,” I said softly, sliding a business card over to him. It was a contact number for a mental hospital named Brightburn. “I don’t think I can help you. But they can.”
“You’re a skeptic!” He shouted, throwing the card across the room.
“And you’re delusional!” I snapped. “I mean Wendigo’s and Werewolves?! James, you're unwell!”
“I wonder why!” He shouted, gesturing to himself. “Do you see what I’m becoming!”
“James, you’re not a wendigo!”
“I am!”
“You’re not!” I paused and lowered my voice. “Katie cheated on you! Left you for another guy.” James’s face fell when I brought up his ex.
I continued, explaining further, “So now you’re using this mugging as an excuse to make yourself something you’re not. You’re trying to make yourself seem like something bigger than you actually are, James. When deep down all you’re really doing is trying to do is show her that you’re someone worth staying with. Someone worth not cheating on!”
“You have no right to bring Katie into this!” James cried. “That’s not what’s happening! I’ve been cursed, I’m telling you!”
He grabbed his chair and chucked it across the room in a fit of anger. My chair splintered into a million pieces.
I sat back in my chair and sighed, rubbing my temples. “You say you want help, James. They can help you more than I can. If you don’t want to go, then that’s on you. But if you won’t help yourself, I can’t be your therapist any more.”
“No- don’t do this. Doc, you’re the only one I have.” James pleaded.
“You can’t keep this charade up anymore! I’ve indulged you long enough. You’re not turning into some supernatural creature. You’re human!”
James smoothed the wrinkles in his blue flannel shirt before making his way to the door. He stopped and turned to me.
“Just you wait, doc. I’ll prove it to you,” he seethed. “You better watch your back.”
With a slam of my office door, James was gone.
I took a breath before picking my phone up to call my secretary and to alert security to not let James back in the building.
“I think I’m being stalked,” I admitted to my wife Lauren. It had been a rough week with patients, plus I kept receiving threatening letters in the mail. But I couldn’t tell Lauren about it. I didn’t want to worry her.
We just found out she was expecting.
“You’re being silly, Harrison,” she said, trying to comfort me.
“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I said, giving her a kiss on the cheek good night. I turned over in our bed. My heart sank when I saw the shadow of a person glide past my window.
I came home late from work a little later than expected.
My office had been broken into and trashed. I had a sneaking suspicion who did it. Nevertheless, I had to clean my office, file a police report, and finish the rest of my appointments for the day.
Lauren had told me she had a surprise waiting for me at dinner, so I stopped on the way home to pick up flowers and a little gift for Brandon, our four year old son.
The overwhelming stench of iron and something putrid and rotting filled my nostrils as I opened the door to my house.
A massive pool of blood was visible in the kitchen.
I dropped everything in my hands and rushed to the kitchen. I almost puked when I found the dead bodies of my wife and son lying on the dining room table.
Half of Brandon’s face had been chewed off, his frozen expression that of terror.
Lauren had been disemboweled. Her intestines and other miscellaneous organs strewn about the table. On her chest was her uterus, which had been half eaten.
I fell to my knees and started bawling my eyes out. My family had been murdered.
Something growled animalistically behind me, “Believe me now?”
My stomach flipped. A tall emaciated figure stood in the doorway. It’s arms were disproportionately longer than its torso. Its hands and wrists were caked in blood. Sharp teeth glinted in artificial light. That putrid smell from earlier worsened.
A wendigo. James. It had to be.
He’d been right all along.
The wendigo pounced, but I managed to dodge. James recovered with supernatural speed as I ran as fast as I could for safety.
I lunged for the door to my home office for protection. I kept a pistol in there.
I managed to reach the gun before James reached me. He ripped the door off the hinges and bellowed out a blood curdling roar. I managed to squeeze past him and into the hallway. I took the safety off and cocked the gun, praying I had left it loaded.
click-click
James crawled up the banister of my stairs, hanging off of it like a monkey. He had chased me into a corner.
I braced myself as the thing that used to be my patient jumped. As James barreled towards me with a sadistic smile on his mutilated face, I pulled the trigger and aimed right for his chest. The force of the blast knocked me down.
When I regained my bearings, there was no monstrously disfigured body on the floor in front of me. Instead, my front door was swinging wide open.
James was in the wind. He left me alone, with my dead wife and kid in the next room. Grief and anger flooded my veins.
All I wanted to do at that moment was kill James King for what he’d done. I wanted to kill myself for not believing him and allowing this to happen.
Then I remembered reading about something online. The wendigo’s weakness was fire.
I could kill it with fire.
I could kill James with fire.
So much for a mugging, eh?

Just came back from my trip in Japan, covering Tokyo > Hakone > Kyoto (with Uji and Nara) > Osaka, and staying in both a mix of Hotel, Airbnb and Ryokan. Happy to answer any questions that anyone have for these cities! Some important tips that I thought would be useful to know: Use Google Maps for Navigation

• Download the offline maps to save on data and for times when internet connectivity is bad
• If you're carrying luggages or are looking to avoid the stairs, when navigating using google maps, turn on the accessible route options, which would guide you though the lifts (Note: some routes might not make sense as lifts aren't abundant in Japan. Be sure to also cross check with the non-accessible route as I had a case when it told me to walk instead of taking a train.

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Use Luggage Forwarding services to avoid having to bring your luggages around

• You can send luggages from the convenience stores or the forwarding company's (i.e. Yamato) offices.
• For the latter, please be sure to ensure that the office is open before heading down. Google Maps is not very accurate at times in this regards.
• You will notice that the luggage forwarding forms require a number. You can use your email for this instance.
• Airtag your luggages

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Credit Card payment is a lot more widely available than expected

• For the cities that I was at, I could use card 90% of the time. For the 10%, it was at temples, smaller establishments (e.g. vending machine ramen)
• Don't forget that Suica Card payments are also an option!

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Prepare for your transportation in advance to save on the hassles

• If you're an iPhone user, you can active the virtual transport card on your Apple Wallet. If you're an android user, I understand that only android phones made in japan would support the virtual transport cards.
• If you're taking a Shinkansen, link your ticket to your transport card (Suica, PASMO etc. all works) so that you can simply tap your card to enter the station [Note: don't forget to take your ticket when tapping your card! To exit the station, you can simple also just tap your card.]
• If you bought a limited express train ticket online with reserved seating, there is a high chance you'll also need to pay for your base fare. To explain this simply, for such trains, you need to pay the base fare + the limited express ticket. You can easily pay the base fare using your transport card like how you would for the normal trains and buses but tapping through the gates.

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Misc

• Bring reusable bags for shopping. 90% of the stores will charge for bags.
• Bring a small disposable bag for trash as bins are quite scarce (except for Osaka). I would also highly recommend bringing your own tumbler.
• Most of your popular snacks from all around japan can easily be bought at the bigger train stations or the airport. Would suggest just buying them at the end of your trip. There is no need to stock up at the start of your trip unless you've found something that is extremely unique to that city. This would also help with hitting that minimum cost for tax refund when purchasing everything at the end.
• When buying tax free food, you'll notice they would bag your items in this tax free bags that you're not suppose to open while in Japan. This can be a hassle when you're trying to maximise your packing space, thus, some would just open the bags. When at the airport, you will scan your passports through a machine which will (I assume randomly) tell you if you can just continue walking or have your items checked. Thus, do this at your own risk.
• Buy your charms at Kyoto / Hakone rather than Tokyo / Osaka. They are much much cheaper.
• Specific to Kyoto, start your day early (0630) and end your day early to avoid the crowds.

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And most importantly, remember to enjoy your trip!

This is a long one so please bare with me.
For context/background I met my current partner when i was 17. I had just got out of an abusive relationship I had a lot of trust issues. I suffer from severe depression/anxiety due to being abused as a child. I recently got discharged from a mother and baby unit(loony bin for women with babies that are newborn upto 18months old).
When me and my partner started dating i was going through an incredibly difficult time in my life i battled with suicidal ideations daily and had already made many attempts on my life. I was a stoner which is how i met him as he was a dealer at the time. Start of the relationship was great we didn’t talk much if you know what i mean lol. We laughed and joked a lot & he was a much needed ray of light in my otherwise dark world. I had actually dated one of his friends briefly which i told him almost immediately when it was apparent that we were attracted to each-other. He said didn’t mind and things progressed slowly. At first he didn’t want to “put a label on things” as he said he didn’t really want a relationship and as i’d just escaped from an abusive relationship and honestly had no idea what a healthy relationship even was i said i didn’t mind but i knew i caught feelings easily so i asked what would happen if i caught feelings for him & he said we’d have to let it play out and see. Inevitably i caught feelings for him and tried to cool things off with him as i knew he wasn’t looking for a relationship and i didn’t want to get hurt. He was reluctant to call it off so i took that as a sign that he was catching feelings too and things continued to progress to a point where i felt i had to open up because lying to him about my scars & trying to keep my feelings/ suicidal tendencies at bay was becoming more difficult. I tried to break it off again because i didn’t really want to open up to him because i didn’t want him to think differently of me and i didnt want things to change between us & he was still being weird about the “labels” which made me feel like wouldn’t stick around, he assured me he really liked me and liked being around me n that it was getting to a stage where he wanted to call me his girlfriend but wasn’t sure yet because of my “past” i.e. me dating his friend previously which i felt was fair so we continued.
One night we got really high and i just kinda let everything out. I didn’t mean to trauma dump but i couldn’t hold it in any longer and i felt like everything had to be on table because he’d probably leave me later on if i waited until after he asked us to be official. He literally went silent didn’t say anything through out and when i was done he kinda awkwardly changed the subject n went on to play his game. I don’t know what i expected him to say or even what i wanted him to say but i just felt like that was a weird response n it made me feel mad anxious and worried. The next day he was weirdly distant and I felt like he saw me differently or hated me now n i never should’ve told him like literally every possible thought under the sun was going through my head. It went on like that for a few weeks until he just randomly went back to normal n because i didn’t want him to put that distance there again, i just went along with it.
Because of his lifestyle he wasn’t really able to spend what i would call quality time with me, knowing what i know now i understand why, but at the time I’d never dated a drug dealer before and i felt like he was purposely avoiding me because when id call he’d always be laughing and joking with someone else and sometimes id hear other girls in the background so i started to become really insecure and go through his phone. It was dumb and immature and i wish id never done it but at the time that’s what i needed for reassurance and id see somewhat flirtatious messages with him and other girls and confront him about it but he told me they were just customers n it meant nothing so i let it go. He kept making promises and making them such as he was supposed to take me out for my birthday but didn’t. Say he’d come and visit me in hospital but wouldn’t and after a while all of this resentment built up and we had a massive argument where i let it slip that i felt it was weird he said anything when i told him about my trauma and that i felt he wasn’t listening and didn’t care about me etc etc. He kinda just put it down to his lifestyle meaning he was busy and he was doing his best, i should’ve known what i was getting into when we started dating & what did i want him to say after saying all that. All fair points so i dropped it.
About a year into our relationship he went to prison for 3 months he didn’t contact me much during this time and by the time he was out i was pretty much in the mind that we should break it off as he still after all that time hadn’t made things official. I told him this when he came to visit n he basically said I love you i don’t wanna leave you n that i should’ve already known he sees me as a girlfriend as he’s never dealt with a girl the way he deals with me but if i really need a label then yes im his girlfriend. I was so happy that day that he finally put a label on what we were. Eventually the novelty wore off and things went back to how they were before he went to prison until around 9/10 ish months later he went back to prison for 1.5 years. During his time in there i was faithful to him we would talk everyday but he wasn’t happy that i was still hanging around my male friends and eventually i got to the point where i didn’t go out or interact with males because he’d always have an issue. To be fair it’s easy for him to have his doubts about me being faithful as he was in prison and had no idea what i was doing or getting upto while he was in there.
We got a lot closer while he was in there as he opened up a lot more with his feelings and we’d talk about all the things we were going to do when he got out which was nice. When he got out he came out on tag and with in a few days it was very apparent that he wasn’t going to keep any of the promises he made in there. I mean the man was on tag with a clear curfew and even then he didn’t wanna stay home with me or follow through with any plans we’d make together. I eventually got pregnant (something we spoke about when he was in prison) I was moving in with him and needed to pick up my things from my old house, he’d promised he’d come and help pack & load up the moving van but when it came to the morning to do it he refused to get up because he was “tired” I needed to be there for a certain time so i ended up leaving him at home expecting that when he woke up he’d meet me at my old place and help. He never showed and i ended up doing all of the packing and loading by myself. I was annoyed and tired because i was pregnant and i expected to get home and he’d help me unload the van. Only to find that he wasn’t home and it was almost his curfew time. I again ended up unpacking everything by myself and he didn’t get home until nearly an hour after his curfew was up. I was angry we got into a huge argument, he had no valid excuses to give me but eventually I calmed down n we were fine. I started bleeding the next day probably from the stress of everything so we rushed to the hospital and luckily everything was fine. After this we had a long talk where he basically said he was gonna get his act together but not long after that he ended up getting recalled and he was in prison until our first child was 8weeks old. By this point i had moved to a different city as it was cheaper & closer to my family and i didn’t want social services involved as they had hinted that due to my partners dealings with drugs if i continued to live with him social services would need to get involved. Even though our child was 8 weeks old when he got out it was another 2 weeks before he came to visit us for the first time. I wasn’t happy about this as again it seemed like he was going to break the promises he made while he was in prison. But i did my best to hold my tongue as i understood we were in very different spaces mentally at that time. At first he did his best to make up for the lost time which was much appreciated but as time went on his visits became shorter and less frequent. We’d constantly argue as i felt that i was essentially a single mother doing everything myself when we had this baby together. He made it about the fact that i moved so far away and that things would be different if i were closer but due to previous behaviours i found this very hard to believe. Eventually the relationship broke down to a point where i didn’t care if he was around or not and it was a normal thing for me to not hear from him for days at a time. Eventually his mum contacted me to ask if id heard from him so i called one of his friends which is how if found out he was back in prison and after the last time id told him if he goes back to prison we were done. His friend spun this elaborate story which although far fetched wasn’t really out of character for my partner so i believed him. He then begged me not to tell my partner that he had told me and i agreed because i knew what he was like. So when he eventually called me on the prison phone i didn’t care what he had to say, i was done. Even though he acknowledged i had said i was done if he went back to prison, he accused me of seeing someone else, saying that’s why i didn’t want to work things out which was not true and for the next month was calling me all times of the day and night trying to “talk”/ understand why i didn’t want to work things out. He knew i was exclusively breastfeeding and that i didn’t get a lot of sleep yet he continued to harass me going from being apologetic to angry and accusatory to accepting and wanting us just to be friends before going back to being angry until i eventually gave in and told him what his friend had told me especially as his friend had been watching my snap stories & reporting back to my partner about what i was posting. I then found out his friend had lied and my partner was understandably upset that id taken his friends word about what happened instead of talking to him about it first which i agreed was a little snakey but i was also so done with the whole situation at that point. I literally changed my entire life around when i found out i was pregnant to try and be the best person I could be for myself and for my baby so i didn’t understand why it was so hard for him to do the same.
Eventually after a lot of back and forth we got back together but once we were back together he was constantly putting me down snapping at me over little things and when i confronted him about it he basically told me i didn’t deserve the “nice” version of him anymore as i’d sided with his friend over him n put him through so much aggro. I admit i did say a lot of things that probably hurt him especially when i was sleep deprived and he was calling me non stop trying to talk i just let out all of the hurt pain & neglet id been feeling over the years and i told him how much i resented him for leaving me while i was pregnant leaving me to essentially be a single mother even after he got out of prison because he rarely came to visit. promising to move closer to us so we could be a family again only to not do that for dumb reasons. I just let it all out where usually id sugar coat everything i said it raw how i felt it and i know it probably hurt him but i couldn’t help how i felt especially not then. He held onto that as well as me believing his friend and held on so tight that anytime i had an issue with anything he did he’d throw those things back in my face shut down & there’d be no more talking until he was ready. This kept on happening and eventually i let it slip that when we broke up i had started dating he obviously flipped and then this became a problem too. We’d constantly get into arguments where i’d always be the problem even when the argument was caused by the fact that id be asking for money for our child or for him to visit more often or that i felt un supported and i was struggling physically & mentally (i have a metabolic disability too) some how the issue always lied with me. Several times we’d taken short breaks where we’d have an explosive argument and then he’d stop speaking to me for weeks at a time which obviously i had an issue with. The worst of which happened one night when i had gotten drunk with my friend and we decided to play dress up and go out as we both had a rare kid free weekend (my child was with my parents not my partner) There was an outfit she made me try on that made me feel super self conscious and exposed the scars on my arms she insisted i looked beautiful and told me to call my partner who would agree with her. I stupidly agreed and he didn’t pick up the phone. I muttered something to the effect of if it were one of his cats (clients) i bet he’d pick up the phone so she said let’s call him off her phone to which again i stupidly agreed. He answered almost immediately which made me laugh n i was like see n my friend was drunkenly trying to explain what we were doing and telling him to look at me and tell me i look good. During all of this he got a call and said one minute lemme take this which got my friend annoyed and she said it will literally take you 2 seconds to look at her and tell her she looks good you wouldn’t even be awake if it wasn’t for us calling right. he ignored her & she was getting even more annoyed on my behalf n i was just tryna continue our night having fun so i told her to hang up n leave it & she said no any man would wanna look & tell their girl how good she looks. The phone cut and he never called us back we got on with our night and woke up the next morning ready to prepare for going out the next evening. I tried to call him several times and he never picked up i texted he didn’t answer so i just left it and went about my day. When we were in the cab around 10pm he calls me with an attitude. I picked up on it straight away and asked what was wrong & he said nothing was wrong so i was like okay so why do you sound like that. He proceededs to tell me sound like what? you think i’m upset over your thotty behaviour. I’m confused so i’m like what are you talking about. He starts going off so i just said i’m in a cab on my way out i don’t have the energy to deal with this right now but before i could get that all out he starts accusing me of trying to make him jealous saying he doesn’t care if i’m going out and basically tells me if i hang up the phone don’t ever call or speak to him again and delete his number. I’m so confused because i still don’t understand why he’s upset and i’m just trying to have a much needed fun day with my friend so i’m trying to calm him down without making it awkward for my friend n he’s not having any of it so i ended up having to hang up. Me and my friend ended up having a good night out together and by the end of the night id decided me n him were done i couldn’t keep dealing with that level of abuse for almost nothing. Next morning my friend told me one of her friends liked how i was looking and wanted my snap i kinda thought fuck it why not and told her to give it to him. My partner didn’t contact me for almost 3 weeks during which time i’d started to talk to the guy my friend referred me to & even though it started of purely plutonic as the time went on things got more and more flirtatious.
After 3 weeks my partner calls me to ask to speak to his son. It was 10pm on a school and he knows our son goes to bed at 7pm. I told him this and he accuses me of keeping his son from him. I basically said you didn’t care about speaking to your son for 3 weeks so respectfully idgaf what you think. This obviously triggered an argument but eventually i got to understand that he was mad that day because he felt that my friend was out of turn for saying that any man would want to look and he felt like she was trying to suggest that we were going out to get the attention of men. To this day he still doesn’t believe that’s not what she was trying to do but i digress. He eventually admitted he overreacted and apologised but i told him the damage was done and that I didn’t want to continue the relationship. He insisted on coming to see me to “change my mind” i stood firm on my decision even when he was trying to have sex with me. About a month after this incident it was my son’s birthday so we travelled to his city so he could spend a few weeks with his Dad. When i got to his house he asked if we could talk so i left my son with his grandma and went upstairs to speak with him, he was trying to convince me we could make it work but i said we’d be better off co-parenting and he seemed to accept that then all of a sudden he decided he was going to go through my phone i tried to get it off him but he kinda threw me to the floor in my attempt. He went through my phone and obviously saw the flirtatious massages with aforementioned guy. He also found messages from the person i was dating the first time we broke up as well as a bunch of messages from guys i was talking to before we were even together( i don’t delete any thing) He flipped smashed my phone called me every name under the sun and also through my past traumas in my face. I honestly don’t know how or why but i ended up trying to prove to him that i’ve always been faithful to him n that i was sorry n that i wanted to make things work. To this day I look back on this situation and i don’t understand how we ended up back together or how i ended up wanting to make it work especially after everything he says. Those words still play in my mind like a broken record to this day. He demanded i do a lie detector to prove that i’ve never cheated on him & he wanted me to pay. I don’t know why but i did it even thought everyone around me was telling me it was a bad idea due to my anxiety but i wanted to prove to him that i wasn’t lying. I ended up passing the fuck out during the test but the tester managed to record the results which apparently showed i failed all 3 questions. He obviously lost his shit again i tried telling him it was false n that id never cheated but how can i argue with the results. We eventually ended up resuming the relationship but ever since then ive been walking on egg shells and he’d snap at the smallest of things e.g. one time i asked him to come to church with me and he laughed in my face & said hell no, i asked why he replied like that and he went off about how he doesn’t need church he’s done his time n how could i of all people with everything i’ve done tell him about needing to go to church. I didn’t say he needed to nor was i preaching at him i just simply asked if he wanted to come with me.
This type of behaviour continued and i got to the point where id decided we should stop trying to have another child as i didn’t feel we were in a good place and i was worried for my mental health and the fact that he still was living in a different city and was only visiting periodically (more often than previously but still only half the month). Its kinda funny because as soon as i decided i wanted us to stop trying like a month later i found out i was pregnant. I was happy but sad at the same time because the reality of my situation hit me like a ton of bricks. I told him he needed to move closer i couldn’t do this alone i needed him so he needed to get his shit together. He kept saying he was going to move but time kept going by and i didn’t feel enough effort was being made for him to come down. Even during all this time he would still go off over little things.
He ended up going back to prison again (this time it wasn’t actually his fault) but i ended up giving birth alone which took a huge hit on my mental health and i was admitted to the mother & baby unit. He’s been really nice since going into prison and he seems dead set on moving here and making things work between us which is reassuring but the pattern of behaviour he has always shown makes me doubt a lot. I do want to make things work especially now that we have 2 kids but i’m afraid to have the conversation around how he’s been treating me the past few years.
Things can’t go on like this because i don’t want to marry someone that i constantly have to be on egg shells around or someone who clearly thinks of me as trash when it suits him. As i write this I know things sounds bad but we did have good times and i do love him. i feel like if he’s willing to put in the work to understand why he blows up the way he does we could get back to how things were and have a beautiful marriage but i’m afraid im just romanticising things like i always do.
I don’t know whether i should just cut all ties and call it a day or give him the chance to be better so that we can be a family because my kids deserve that. And to be honest im not entirely confident that he’d let me go that easily.
If you made it this far thanks for taking the time to read it all. There’s alot i’ve left out because this is already so long so please feel free to ask questions.

Let me start by saying the obvious: I am not a good person. I have no excuse for what I did. 10 years ago I was living on a friend’s couch. I was out of a job, I had no savings, no family. I had just failed my last get rich scheme and was looking for anything to make a quick buck. My friend had less than reputable activities and had just come into ownership of a shipment of crystals. He thought they were valuable but was deeply mistaken. If there is one thing to know about me, it’s that I’m a great salesman. That’s my one skill, I can’t do anything else. If I had the work ethic to hold a job, that could have been my way to success. Instead I was running schemes and failing since I left high-school. So I started selling crystals, “healing” crystals. Funny how just adding one word and some convincing make the price skyrocket. In a month I sold all of it. It made me enough cash to fund my next venture but more importantly, I made contacts.
 
I wasn’t the only one in that line of business. Some sold stuff like I did. Handcrafted charms, written sutras, blessed water, carved animal bones. Anything could be worth a fortune if sold the right way. That wasn’t where the real money was made though. Mystical gurus, faith healers, spiritual coaches. Those guys were making bank. I went to their gatherings to peddle my crystals and saw how they operated. I wasn’t impressed by any of them. They were sloppy, too obvious. But the crowd effect still made it work. You see, if you manage to have a few people completely convinced, with the right environment, it spreads like wildfire. Peer pressure makes magic happen and then you’ve got a crowd chanting whatever you want them to chant. I saw a bunch of different crooks selling their “philosophy” and the crowds that fervently followed them. I saw an opportunity. This was sales. And if a bad salesman could do that well, who knows how far I could get.
 
I needed a “product”, a hook. Most of the spiritual fads were covered by one or more goofus in my area so I went with something a bit more obscure. I went dark. Occultism, blood rituals, demonology. I thought this would get me the most desperate sheep, the ones ready to turn to anything to solve whatever problem they thought couldn’t be solved. It worked brilliantly. I knew there were a lot of desperate people in my area but I didn’t think it was this bad. Not a good sign for society but it worked great for me. I used my gains from the crystal sales to buy books and accessories, everything to make me look like the real deal. An mythical occultist with mysterious powers. I dressed the part too. Black robes and all kinds of demonic trinkets. For the first few months, I managed on bluff alone. I started to have more and more followers. I did rituals with them, inspired by the books I got. With some clever positioning, I made it look like the collection of books I had were part of a much larger one. I solved a few of their problems with a bit of cash to the right person and what amounted to basic coaching and counseling. But, for the rest, the only thing I could do was pretend they just didn’t believe hard enough.
 
After that, things started to get a bit rough. They started noticing that nothing we were doing was actually helping them. I mean burning sage covered in menstrual blood in a cemetery during a full moon might look impressive but it’s not going to stop your husband from cheating on you. I could see trouble brewing. My original plan was to pack up and leave when I would get to that stage. Through donations and membership fees, I had already collected a substantial sum. I had enough to enjoy life for a few months and find something else to do. But I got greedy, I wanted to keep going. A few of my followers were completely convinced I was the real deal. So I used them. I’m not going to give details and incriminate myself. I will let you picture what happened. Let’s just say that demon worshiping fanatics without conscience are great problem solvers.
 
From that point on, it snowballed. Each “problem” solved by my loyal followers made every single one of them more loyal. They recruited more, solved their problems and they became devout followers themselves. A self sustaining circle. If you don’t take into account the karmic weight of my actions (which I don’t), everything was going perfectly. A fully functioning cult. If you are wondering why you never heard of us, well, blackmail has always been an efficient tool which, coupled with making scapegoats of anyone who left and “cleaners”, kept information about us under control. It also helped that our group never actually had a name. An oversight on my part that actually ended up working in our favor. It made our size difficult to evaluate as groups in different locations tended to use different rituals to identify themselves, making it look like small independent groups instead of one large organization.
 
At that point, we did what all successful cults do. We build ourselves a compound. I had my own quarters, the size of a luxury mansion with all the amenities you can imagine. Some of the more reliable members of the group had their own room while the rest were living in dorms. The library was as big as I pretended it was when I started. We had probably one of the largest collections of books and occult items ever assembled. As far as I know at least, this kind of thing tends to not be public.
 
I started delegating all of my work to the most respected members of the cult. This was my goal after all, I could finally reap the benefits of my work. I was almost entirely retired. I could enjoy whatever I wanted. Delicious food, alcohol, women, drugs. Anything I could want was mine. I let the cult run itself and, if you remember the title of my post, that’s where things went wrong.
 
I don’t believe in the occult, in demons and all that stuff. But my cult did. After all, it worked for them. They followed the ritual and got whatever they wanted. They didn’t know that someone else inside the cult actually did it for them. Sometimes as a part of their own ritual, sometimes as a tribute to the cult. They had the belief. They had the knowledge and tools from the well stocked library. And after I retired, they had the freedom to try and experiment. The fact is, most of what was in those books was nonsense. But for a few, it wasn’t. I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen what I have seen.
 
For the last couple of years, I rarely met anyone from the cult. Only a few reports from the higher-ups that I barely listened to. A few months ago, I was getting low on supplies which was strange. They religiously kept everything topped up for their great leader. So I cleaned myself up a bit, put on my robes and went to remind them of my greatness. When I got to the door to their side of the compound, I was first surprised by the silence. The place was always buzzing with activity and I could usually hear it far before opening the door. It was confusingly quiet. The second thing hit me when I opened the door, a smell of rot, burning and sulfur. I covered my nose and my eyes started watering. I went back for a bit and I dipped an old shirt with some perfume and tied it up around my nose and mouth to protect myself from the smell.
 
I walked the hallways without seeing anything at first until I passed in front of one of the dorms. The door had been smashed open, apparently from the inside. It was now embedded in the opposite wall. The thick metal door had been hit with such force that the door frame and part of the wall came with it. I stood there incredulously for a while, considering what might have done that. It looked like a bomb had exploded but without any scorch marks. I took a look inside,only to find it completely barren. I took a few steps in the room, only illuminated by the light coming from the broken door frame. It was the same as when it was first constructed apart from the color of the walls, ceiling and floor. They were now sporting a reddish-brown hue, the color of dried blood. I turned and stepped out of the room, leaning against the hallway wall. I noticed that I hadn’t taken a breath since I got in. I took a deep breath. The smell, the perfume covering my mask mixed with the smell of rot, made me dry heave.
 
I collected myself and headed down the hallway. There were more dorms that way but I was more anxious about the unknown horrors of the rest of the compound. Better the devil you know as they say, almost literally in my case. Plus this was the shortest path. From what I remembered, there were two more dorms on the way. The first one was still closed. The same heavy metal door had been installed and looked solidly in place. Pushed by some morbid curiosity, I opened the metal flap that was on the door. The same kind that was on prison doors. When I did, the now familiar smell of rot wafted over me. Contrary to the other one, this room was still lit up. There was no movement inside. The bunk beds were cleanly lined up as they were when we first set up the dorms. Each bed was occupied by an unmoving shape. An arm hanging from one of the beds closer to the door confirmed what I was thinking. They had died in that room, a while back from what I could see.
 
I kept walking and reached the last dorm on this side of the compound. I was expecting the same thing as the last one since the door was still in place but as I got closer, I saw a cleanly cut hole in the metal door. The hole was big enough for a person to go through. I hesitated for a while, wondering if I should just keep going. I had seen the traces of terrible events in the rooms before but nothing gruesome enough to stay burned in my mind. I thought this room would be the same, no risk in taking a quick look. I was instantly proved wrong. I looked through the hole for less than a second and I will never forget the image. A perfectly arranged spiral made of cut up body parts. The center of the spiral rose almost to the ceiling. At the top of the gory pile stood a throne of bone and sinew. All of it was perfectly arranged, perfectly aligned with no imperfections. Each member that was part of it had been cut with incredible precision. It was a gruesome piece of art, carefully crafted. And as good art does, it filled me with emotion. It was beautiful in a way, regal, intimidating. It terrified me that someone or something had created it. I walked a few steps down the hallway before removing my mask and throwing up on the floor.
 
I put my forehead against the wall, breathing heavily. I stayed like that for a few minutes before deciding to keep going. I had to get out as soon as possible. Considering everything, one thing actually made me more confident. Whatever happened, it was over. The compound was completely silent. The things that caused what happened in the dorms were not here anymore. I reached the end of the hallway and entered the main temple. Strangely, it hadn’t changed at all. I walked to the center as I used to, passing the rows of black pews arranged in a circle around the main altar. The altar was as I remembered, a simple pulpit adorned with symbols and amulets hanging on all sides. On it was an envelope, addressed to me.
 
The first page got a nervous chuckle out of me. They knew. My faithful disciples knew I was a fraud. I could feel the hatred in the words on that page. It explained in detail the growing mistrust that started from the time the compound was built. How they saw me show less and less effort, focusing more on earthly luxuries. They first theorized that I was testing them to see which of them could proceed without my guidance. It made them work harder at first. I had done such a good job indoctrinating them that it took them a long time to realize what I had done. The page ended with a surprising thank you. No matter what my motivation was, I had given them purpose. I had given them resources to bring forth something bigger than all of us. For these reasons, they would let me live. I had done my part.
 
From the second page, they explained what had happened since my retirement. The books from my library had some truth in them. At first it was small rituals that helped them accomplish things that could be done as easily by hand. But they learned from it, developed them. They made untraceable poisons, they cursed targets with madness. It helped them increase the number of followers exponentially. After all, they became the real thing. The text that followed explained what happened in the compound. They wrote that they used the dorms and the “pits” as a catalyst to “evolve” mankind.
 
I read the part about the dorms, eager for some explanation. I don’t know if you know about Kodoku, the poison jar ritual. The idea is that you put one hundred venomous insects inside a jar and when there is only one left alive, its poison will be powerful enough to kill anyone. Well, looks like in the right conditions, it works with humans too. The followers went willingly into the dorms, locking themselves up until one of them “transcended”. The writing explained that the first rituals failed completely. It started some unrest within the community, unnerved by the pointless deaths of their companions. They doubled down and, having learned from the first tries, what followed was a resounding success. They had brought forth entities that defied their wildest expectation, giving them the tools to further their plans. The letter didn’t say anything else about it worryingly.
 
The next part of the letter talked about the remaining followers, the one that didn’t volunteer for the dorms. As the ritual in the dorms required willing participants, they had to find an alternative. So they made the “pits. Deep holes with a “seed” at the bottom of it. They didn’t explain how the seed was made but I assume it involved more unholy machinations. They forced the rest of the followers into the pits. Some by drugging them, some by threatening, some by force. They kept at it until none were left. Only the most devout, the most knowledgeable were left. They didn’t stay to see if the pits would succeed, it didn’t matter. The ritual was done, the results wouldn’t need them either way. They all went their separate ways. They would rebuild, recruit more followers, each one going to a different place. They would continue the process over and over until they finally brought humanity into its “next form”. The letter ended with the words: “As it started here, everywhere is where it shall end”.
 
I left the temple by the main door. I was outside for the first time in months. The warmth of the sun was only comforting for a few moments as I found myself in front of two pits. One on my left and one on my right, only separated by a narrow looking path that led out of the cult’s land. The pit to the right was empty. I decided to go around it instead of risking taking the narrow path. I wasn’t wide enough to look safe and taking the way around seemed like a better idea. I walked a comfortable distance from the pit and took a few glances as I moved. I couldn’t see the bottom of it. For some reason, the light seemed to be dimmed by the pit itself, stopping shorter than it should. As I reached the other side of the pit, I saw some tracks leading away from the pit into the surrounding forest. They were deep but rain had made them muddy, making them difficult to identify. They were larger than my own. I followed them with my eyes, curious to see where they started. They came directly from the pit. And were surrounded by impossibly large claws marks at the edge of it.
 
Understandably, I started moving faster. I would rest when I was somewhere else. But I heard a voice. A call from help coming from the other pit. I approached it to take a look, not completely believing what I was hearing. I wasn’t far enough gone that I would ignore someone in trouble right in front of me. I don’t remember exactly what I saw inside. Even now, my head hurts when I try to think about it. I remember only two things. The first thing is one I would like to forget, like the spiral throne I saw in the dorm. In the pit, I saw an eye. I remember seeing it deep in the pit, seemingly occupying all of it. Its color was changing smoothly, different shades dancing unnaturally. It was looking right at me, its pupil slowly widening. Then it blinked, and I remember running. I ran as fast as could until I reached the fence surrounding the compound. It was a considerable distance for someone in as bad a shape as I was. My heart and my lungs were hurting like hell but I kept running, pushed by an instinct older than man.
 
After I crossed the fence, my escape from the compound went smoothly. After all, I always expected to be found out at some point and prepared for it. I left the letter there, minus the first page that mentioned me. I hope it helps whoever finds it. I had a vehicle and a change of clothes hidden close by. I remember seeing a large number of police cars going to the compound, luckily at that point I was far enough to not arouse suspicion. I still had access to some of my hidden bank accounts so I bought a bunker far away from anything, stocked up with anything I could ever need. I can stay there for the rest of my life and I probably will. I am sharing my story as a warning. But I realize now that my advice won’t be of any help. I know better than most that people can be tricked. I don’t know what my former followers want but it can’t be good. There are things out there that defy understanding. I hope that none of you get to meet them.
 
As I said at the beginning, I am not a good person. I played my part in something terrible, no matter what my own goals were. I won’t say I’m sorry. My apologies are worthless at this point. I have no excuses anyway, I acted as I wanted from start to finish. Instead, I will end with this:
 
 
Good Luck

I'm using wheat bran. Got a 50lb bag from an acquaintance and it's already full of little beetles (maybe rice beetles? Not weevils, but that size and med brown color).
I'm baking the first batch now before I put it in with my worms, but I'm only using a tiny fraction of the bag.
How do you store giant amounts so it's not just a nasty bug infestation in my garage?
Follow up question, I guess. How deep do you make the substrate in each bin? I have beetles in the top with window mesh, worms in the middle, pupae with no substrate on the bottom (3 drawer setup).

I created an apartment in a community lot and used the cheat to change to apartmentbase - but the mailbox won’t change. There is no issues with the apartments. I also don’t have any mods or cc installed! I tried making it residental aswell etc. but the lot is still stuck with the community phone and bin. anyone got any tips??

Hi everyone, 23 year old fat man here,
Current body weight 106.2kg Starting weight 117kg Height - 5’10 Current BMR - 2000 Goal weight 85kg
Since starting the journey at the end of Jan from drinking loads and putting away on average around 4,500 calories a day, I turned things around and have been consistently consuming around 1500 calories a day and cut out the booze. I’ve lost a lot of weight before so I know exactly how to track! Have been flying down the scale since, and all of a sudden this week I will not move. From a kilo a week if not more to absolutely nothing. Done the math and I’m still easily 500 cal below basal metabolic rate, so work out or not, there’s no way I should be stalling. I did a HIT workout early this week which is unusual for me, and I’ve been struggling to walk since as my legs are so sore! Starting to get better now but I can’t stand not knowing if my fat loss is continuing or I’m going to stay at this weight for months despite a deficit. There’s an obvious difference since the beginning of the journey, but not knowing if it’ll come off is driving me insane as my goal weight is 85kg, and I don’t want it to take 3 years to get there.
Any tips would be much appreciated, just to emphasise I’m 100% in a deficit every day through tracking and weighing with my fitness pal, so I just don’t understand.
FYI I don’t cheat and if I do I don’t go above maintenance which is 2400 as I couldn’t take the guilt of it. I’ve done this maybe 3 times over the last 3 months.
In addition I’ve always been heavy, puberty sorted me out for a while but my metabolism since birth has always been in the bin.
I guess I’m looking for reassurance, I’ve got uni work to do so I can’t have this living in my head rent free😂
Thanks so much!

• Meet the Kyanah -- the alien civilization I've been working on since 2016
• A Primer on Kyanah Physiology
• Aliens Deserve Alien Brains
• A Primer on Kyanah Pack Dynamics
• Advanced Kyanah Psychology: Inter-Pack Dynamics
• The Motives for Project Hope: Part I
• The Motives for Project Hope: Part II
• The Motives for Project Hope: Part III
• The Motives for Project Hope: Part IV
• The Motives for Project Hope: Part V
• Intro to Kyanah Politics
• An (abridged) Beastiary of the Kyanah Homeworld
• Plantlife of the Kyanah Homeworld
• An Analysis of Kyanah Military Forces: Part I -- Tech
• An Analysis of Kyanah Military Forces: Part II -- Organizational Structure
• An Analysis of Kyanah Military Forces: Part III -- Military Doctrine
• Alien Computers Are Alien
• Alien Computers Are Alien -- Part II: Kyanah-Human Cyberwarfare
• Alien Computers Are Alien -- Part III: A Guide to Kyanah Internets
• A Look Into the Kyanah Education System

As previously mentioned, Kyanah don't seem to care about personal space and privacy amongst their own packs, and thus as far as they're concerned, they have enough living space if they can move around without tripping over each other. A 5 by 5 meter apartment would be seen as a decent starter home for a pack of 4-6 adults and maybe their first pair of young. Units for individual, packless Kyanah are even smaller, 2x3 meters with space for only the barest necessities, is pretty average. Though most will only live in such conditions for a few years or less before they get packs of their own, and the "real" jobs that come with that. Wealthier packs, and those with more young, will often upsize somewhat, but unless it's a literal mansion (and sometimes even then), this usually just means a larger room rather than multiple rooms, and packs will still tend to congregate in the same part of the room; if they're idle and don't have any particular reason to be more than a few feet from their packmates, they probably won't be.
Naturally, this means that every bit of space in a Kyanah dwelling is put to use. Large open spaces are in fact seen as aesthetically displeasing in most cultures, like a pack was too lazy to finish making their living space into a proper home. The reason for this is fairly evident--their world is an arid super-Earth, if they want open spaces they can just go outside, there's no need to make one indoors too. If a pack has some unoccupied floor space that isn't needed for moving around, and they can afford to put something there, they probably will. Generally speaking, they don't divide their homes into multiple distinct areas for different purposes, but just stick everything together in one space.
Usually, essentials like appliances, storage bins, computers and TVs, line every wall; a lot of these would likely be recognizable to a human observer even if some of the details are different. Notably, this doesn't include anything resembling a bath or shower. Kyanah can't sweat, so tend not to get as damp and oily as humans do, and even with the Water Distribution System, tap water is still close to an order of magnitude more expensive on their homeworld than on Earth; during the Project Hope era, it tends to average $50-$70 per cubic meter in Ikun, depending on how you convert to human money. So usually a moist washcloth and some soap is sufficient for wiping off dirt and grime. They tend not to really like getting wet anyway. Another thing that might raise some human eyebrows is the tendency for toilets to just casually sit along the wall in plain view from the rest of the room, as again, Kyanah don't really have any desire to hide or isolate from their own packs. There tends to be a notable lack of chairs in homes and offices as well; trying to use a typical human chair would lead to them either sitting on their own tail or having their tail sticking out at an strange angle that would make sitting down or getting up rather awkward. So they just sit on pillows or cushions on the floor instead.
The placement of windows may also raise some eyebrows. Usually their angle, small size, and positioning near the floor or ceiling indicates that their primary purpose is letting in natural light rather than providing a view. After all, Kyanah aren't descended from tree climbing apes, unlike certain other intelligent species, so generally don't care to be reminded that they're 40 stories in the air, even if that is the most efficient urban planning solution. Instead of the steel and glass exteriors commonly seen in modern and futuristic architecture, their buildings tend to consist mainly of masonry, concrete, or even ceramic facades, often ornately decorated in fancy or important buildings. Some architectural styles lack windows entirely.
The literal and figurative centerpiece of any Kyanah dwelling, however, is the nest. It's a holdover from prehistoric times, when they were used to incubate eggs and hide them from ovivores (despite their apex predator status, eggs were obviously still vulnerable in primitive times), as well as protecting hatchlings from the climate in their ancestral boreal scrublands--a warm climate by human standards, but to Kyanah, the 20-25 Celsius winters hit like 0 does to humans, especially with the 2 bar atmosphere leeching away heat twice as fast. In modern times, eggs are simply kept in electric incubators plugged into a wall outlet, the environment inside their homes can be easily controlled by a thermostat, and even the few ovivores that aren't endangered and can survive in Kyanah cities have no way of navigating through locked doors anyway. But still the practice remains; non-nesting cultures are not unheard of, but rare enough to be the subject of anthropological studies (or whatever the equivalent is).
Kyanah build assembly nests on the ground, rather than submerged burrows or elevated eyries. In prehistoric times, they had to make do with sticks, leaves, and animal hides, but in modern times, with synthetic materials, factories, and global trade networks, they have access to a huge variety of much higher quality textiles from all corners of the world to choose from. It's common to buy a plastic or metal nest frame, often shaped like a cylinder or cone, and fill it with cushions, textiles, and other decorations--chains of small lights resembling human Christmas lights have gone in and out of fashion in Ikun over the years--and drape or otherwise attach enough material to cover up both the frame and the open space at the top. Smart textiles with animated displays provided by metamaterials are also a popular choice in modern nests, but some packs go for a more natural look, with synthetic replicas of ancient or prehistoric materials.
Kyanah packs tend to take great pride in their nests and spend considerable time and money tracking down the right materials and updating it to keep up with fashion trends. A nascent pack building their first nest together is seen as a huge milestone and bonding moment, though first nests are rarely permanent; in time a pack will usually wear them out or outgrow them by having children. Typically, adults will sleep around the edges, while their young, if they have any, occupy the center. Unlike human beds, Kyanah nests are typically only for sleep; having sex in the nest isn't unheard of or wrong, but seen in many cultures as a bit unusual and not exactly vanilla and apparently becoming less and less common century by century; using cushions and/or the floor is a lot more common. Notably, as Kyanah have a nesting instinct, they will, if separated from their homes for whatever reason, often have a strong urge to make a nest out of whatever materials are available; hotels usually provide a blank frame and leave packs to fill it in for themselves.
In general, homes are seen as special spaces that nobody except the pack who lives there is ever supposed to enter; the only real exceptions are emergency responders and maintenance personnel. Even a pack's longest-standing ikoin, who have known them for years, often don't even know exactly where they live, let alone actually coming and visiting. Social interactions between packs, when they do happen, are invariably on neutral ground, and must involve the entirety of both packs, otherwise it's seen as cheating and deemed a massive breach of trust. Even sharing photos from inside a pack's home is seen as oversharing by more traditional-minded Kyanah, though as generation after generation grows up with social media, the cultural zeitgeist is increasingly drawing a distinction between sharing photos of that space and sharing the actual space.