Sorry about the rant. I just met him. But I absolutely hate Tulin.
I’ve been playing this game since December and I love it. I have been taking my time with it and I’m trying to go in as blind as I can.
A few days ago I got to the wind temple. I got to the wind temple alone mind you. I was just exploring, and I wanted to see what this huge ass tornado was all about. I found some boats that I could leap onto to get to it. When I got to the temple, I discovered these turbines that I clearly had to activate to progress. Trying to be mindful of my items, I realized that I obviously needed some of the zonai fans that I had been gathering but they did not work. I was really stuck looking for everything that I could on the temple, but after 2 hours of not finding anything that could help me, I finally succumbed and looked for an answer. Apparently, I needed another character to help me activate the turbines. That in itself was pretty frustrating, I had gotten here just by naturally exploring the map, and I had indeed figured out that I needed some type of wind machine that could help me activate the turbines. But now it turns out that I actually needed something that I wouldn’t have found if not by pure chance or by researching it.
So I go do the Tulin mission. I complete it and when I have him at my disposal, I teleport to the shrine with the closest access to the Temple, the Kahatanaum shrine. Tulin appeared right next to me there, but said some bullshit like “I have not seen Zelda here” and disappeared. I tried to go to the spot that I found him at, but he’s not there. I have to on the web again to find where he went. He’s actually in another shrine, way down from the aforementioned one. I had do the path that I had already done, all over again. When I get to the Kahatanaum shrine again, it turns out that he disappeared only because he had to say one stupid ass line about the temperature which DUH THANKS SHERLOCK. I had already noticed the freezing cold (was wearing my winter pants and hot rod to up my temperature).
Beyond frustrating. I feel like my enjoyment has dropped enormously after this experience because it’s supposed to be a game in which you can find your own answers to the puzzles, make your own path, so at least it shouldn’t have been possible for me to access the temple without his help and make me loose so many hours. Turns out it’s actually far more difficult to get to the temple with his help because he’s constantly getting lost and I have to return to pick him up, and his ability is not nearly as good as I would hope. It can only propel you horizontally. It would be far more helpful for him to be able to propel you upwards!
I’m not sure if this has been posted here before, or if he’s a beloved character. I’m sorry, I’m really trying to go in as blind as I can, but this is something that really wouldn’t have happened nor happened to me in BOTW, which was a game that I could finish completely blind, and I never felt like the game was forcing me to go in any particular way.
I still love this game. It has been a 10 out of 10 in every other way, but this has sucked. It also has been the first temple that I have interacted with because I’ve been trying to clear shrines, explore all of the map, get weapons, tears, and just enjoy myself before I start heading into the main temples.

For context I am a 27 year old female and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. My friend, 26 female, was also in a long term relationship when we first started talking again (last year), but they have since broken up because they weren’t on the same page about marriage. Even then a year ago, with her last relationship she tried mirroring mine, but was jealous we were on the same page about marriage. Back then she would constantly ask me what it was like, and would get sad about it. They broke up, and she was depressed for awhile. Then about 8 months ago, she started dating a guy I’ll call J. He treats her better than her ex did and I’m happy about that, but a month in, it seemed like she was rushing the pace in the relationship, to be back on the same page as us. I found this weird. She would even text me, and say that maybe Jay was her Ben, (for context my boyfriend) I was weirded out by this, because first off, why do you want your relationship to be so much like mine? Why can’t you stand on your own feet as your own couple? Anyways, I’m a big Taylor swift fan, yes this is relevant, because my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day got me a necklace with his intial. I cried because it’s straight from call it what you want on reputation, and I thought it was so thoughtful. Ever since then, my friend EVERYTIME WE GO OUT, looks to see if she can find a necklace with a J, like her boyfriend, so we can both have one. I let it slide again, thinking it’s harmless. Then after Taylor’s new album was announced my boyfriend decided to pre-order the vinyl for me which I thought was sweet, my friend heard about this, and had Jay do the same. She’s also now jealous, after me and my boyfriend Ben bought merch, from Taylor’s website, and now is trying hard to get her boyfriend to be a swiftie too. (I got mine to like Taylor after taking him to the eras tour) she also made her boyfriend buy her a promise ring, because she was jealous of mine. Also a couple months into dating her new boyfriend, she stated looking at engagement rings, which is a huge red flag in my opinion and another way of her trying to copy me, because I keep telling her that I hope I get proposed to this year. I honestly don’t know what to do.. is it harmless? Am I blowing it out of proportion? Or should I say something about this? Any advice would be great

Ok need some advice, 24F just got back into the serving industry again after 3 years of dealing with my mental health first and I’ve had this job for about almost 6 months. I got the busy section as most of the time I do, our manager wasn’t letting us use hand held tablets because someone didn’t return one the night before. I really didn’t think he was gonna go through with it so when I kept getting sat it was a little difficult because all of us had to use the computers as the tablets send it straight to the kitchen. I had gotten a 23 top. Instead of being understanding my manager expected me to input the orders without the tablet but it was a party that big I think the tablet would have been so much better and this problem wouldn’t have happened. So I messed up a lot of the orders because the tablets are my key to my work performance. It’s just so much easier. Instead of lending me one in the first place he had another server help out. Obviously I knew she was going to end up getting the whole tip. So he finally let me borrow the thing when it was too late. So he yelled at me in front of everyone saying I can’t take the 50s anymore because I kept messing up the orders. I never mess up until he took them away that day. I was so humiliated because it’s not the first time he yells at me like this about my work performance. I do my best to give it my all to get his approval or for him to just comment on how I’m doing. He has worked at other restaurants don’t want to say names but 🦉 🧡 Lol and so I didn’t think that was fair especially feeling all the tension in the restaurant so once I finished putting the dishes in the back I came back, different manager told me that if I wanted to just go home or what I planned on doing because they gave my section to another server instead without even letting me know. I was so mad and embarrassed I just wanted to go home. They had me pay for the food that they didn’t pay for and I still put the tips I had which was only $13 but I only came home with $4. I don’t think it was fair that he was gossiping about me and the mistakes I made even the cooks just said my name and that I’m always fucking up something. I knew I was going to mess up without that device but now he is denying my trades with other servers that want to trade afternoons with me and I don’t think it’s fair he still has me scheduled 5 days a week and I think I he just took advantage of me and I want to know what I can do before I look stupid bringing it up to him or another manager if I could. I still think he shouldn’t have done that when the day before that I did just fine and the other times before that. Do you think he did it on purpose to make it difficult for me?

So, I've been seeing a lot of people say that taking your time while doing pizza deliveries will grant you more money. I'd like to make this post to let everyone know that that is not true. Sure, when you wait a minute or two to deliver, you will technically get a higher payout for that single pizza, but you also waited for a few minutes. You're still getting the same amount as someone who's rushing, it's just you're getting larger amounts slower, and they're getting less amounts faster. There is no way to get our old wages currently, we can only criticize the devs and boycott the game.

Hey! Thank you for clicking my post. I'm just looking for someone to get to know and form a connection with, and see where things go from there :)
For a little bit about me... physically I'm 6'0, white, dark brown hair and eyes, with a beard that I'm growing out a little now, but usually keep neatly trimmed. I do have a preference for girls who are shorter than me, but since that's just about everyone that's not a big deal 🤣
Personality wise I'm an introvert but I am trying to get out more this year, that is one of my resolutions... I love to joke around and I am constantly making jokes or being playful but I am able to take things seriously when the need arises. My phone gallery is about 90% memes so you know you'll always have a healthy supply coming your way haha. Some of my other interests include gaming (PC mostly, big fan of Bethesda and Fromsoft games), cars (just bought one of my dream cars, I am so happy with it, but I'm already looking towards the next), listening to music (just about anything but country, but rap would probably be my number 1 genre), sports, technology, amusement parks, traveling, and a bunch more things I can't think of off the top of my head. Some things I'm interested in getting more into is programming and fitness. I am also 420 friendly and smoke often (weed, never cigarettes). It would be nice if you shared some of these interests but if not I would love to hear about yours too and learn more about them!
Gonna leave it there so there is plenty more for us to talk about. The only requirements I really have is that you're a woman from the United States. But if you're from the Southeast, bonus points! I'm looking to go on some road trips soon, maybe your city can be my next destination 😏 Hit me up! Let's see where this goes :)

HI CHARLOTTE! You’re my favorite YouTuber and I enjoy getting the notification that you uploaded a new video!
Anyways, here’s my wedding drama story.
So, this happened a few years ago and it still bothers me a little bit. I’ll try my best to make sense and get my point across.
I was friends with this girl, we’ll call her April, for YEARS. We became friends after another friend we were both friends with stopped being our friend over bs.
We were friends for over 10 years…maybe longer. I don’t know. I even made my child her godchild.
Everything was fine UNTIL her wedding.
She made me a bridesmaid. Her younger sister (she told me many times how much she hated her sister) was the maid of honor (she didn’t want her sister to be MOH, but their mother forced her into doing it.)
She had many bridesmaids. I was so happy for her because she’s marrying the man of her dreams.
I purchased a bridesmaids dress that she approved and I paid for it. Back then, I didn’t have a good income. So I had to be frugal with my purchases.
Then the bridal shower happened…
I only knew one bridesmaids (Mary) there. We all went to high school together. I wasn’t exactly friends with her, but we were civil.
We were all talking about the bachelorette party and where we can go. Now, these girls are, well, I can’t say “rich”, but they were financially secure to do exciting things.
I told them that I need plans to be solid so I can save money. I get SSI and I get it the first of the month. I told the girls this and asked if there was any way we can do around that time.
They gave me dirty looks and were rude to me. Mary was the only one who was kind to me like always.
They were doing pictures and they wanted me in them.
Now here’s some background on my childhood trauma I spoke of in the title. (I can’t really tell everything because it’s not appropriate for this thread.)
I had a rough childhood. One where a 4 year old shouldn’t go through. But it happened and I’ve been healing ever since.
I have anxiety that is being treated. It’s not as bad as it was when I was younger.
Anyways, it’s hard for me to be around people that I don’t know, but I’m fine once I get comfortable around people. It’s never caused any issues before.
I took photos with the girls and everything. There was no issue…until…
A few weeks later, she asked me to go to a popular tourist destination that we sometimes went to. We had a fun day and it was nice to hang out with my “friend”
On the way back, she was going to drop me off with my fiancé at “our spot” (me and my fiancés spot at a park)
She tells me that she no longer wants me to be in her wedding as a bridesmaid. Why you may ask?
Because she doesn’t think my mental health would work with her wedding. She said that I can still be apart of it by helping guest to their seats. Ummm?
I asked her why she wanted that and she told me that my trauma (she knew what happened to me in my childhood.) is going to ruin her wedding. What?
I have NEVER had an issue with my trauma and my anxiety. She’s never seen me have a panic attack or anything…I’m literally fine.
I told her I would not be a problem. My ex husband and my fiancé both vouched for me. My ex and I were together on and off for 20 years. He knows me more than anyone.
She just kept telling me how I’m not a good fit. She also complained about my weight. I gained weight after having my youngest child.
I finally got to a decent weight but it was still an issue with it. All her other BM and MOH were all thin and fit. Except for me. 🤷🏼‍♀️
She even promised me that she’d pay me back for the bridesmaid dress because she felt bad. Haha! She never paid me back.
We stopped talking and being friends after that. So, here’s where it got weird. 😳
Remember Mary? Well she contacted me after their bachelorette party. She said it was a train wreck.
Now Mary has Fibromyalgia. She and I share that same issue.
They apparently went to a nightclub. Mary told me that April and the other girls were mean and rude to her the entire time.
Made her feel bad yada yada. She got fed up with it so she told April she wanted to go back to the hotel because she was in pain and felt awful that they were mean to her.
They ignored her. So she had to find another way back to the hotel because their limo driver wasn’t going to take her back.
So she called an Uber and left. She went home after that.
Mary told me that out of the 6 girls in the wedding party, only three stayed in the wedding party. Even her own sister didn’t want to be in the wedding. She didn’t even show up!
That’s gotta say something about her character…I was heartbroken for a while after this bs.
Then I realized I dodged the bullet. I was told she made fun of me all the time. That I’m “too fat.” And that the ONLY reason she put me in her wedding was because she felt bad for me. Wtf?
How can you be friends with someone and claim they are your best friend but talk sh!t about them behind your back.
I feel bad for her husband.
I don’t wish them well. I know that sounds messed up, but I don’t. She is miserable with her boring life.
Not me. I’m happy. I made three new friends and they are like my sisters. They never treat me bad.
Now I’m planning my wedding and can’t wait to celebrate with my loved ones. ❤️

I feel like no one talks about cultural appropriation when it comes to Japan, most times when we think about appropriation we think hair and traditional outfits. There is more to appropriation than clothing and hairstyles. There's language, such as slang, there's games, animation. You're probably wondering where the fuck I'm going with this, before I do I should say, I don't speak for the Japanese, I'm not saying the Japanese should care or shouldn't care, I am not saying people that do some of these things are bad. I'm simply pointing something out that I believe could be harmful. Let's begin.
*language: The misuse of the word hentai and anime is actively straining the term's meaning and causing a shit tone of racism. We all remember the game The Coffin Of Andy And Leyley. The game that talked about abusive sibling relationships? The one with such a horid fanbase that actively romanticized the relationship and caused everyone including myself to judge it before looking into it? Yeah that one! People that never played it, had poor media literacy, and racists against Japanese hopped onto the band wagon of hating it for being weeboo trash, even though it was not anime nor a hentai game. This isn't the first time a game has been labeled anime or hentai even though it wasn't either and wasn't even made by a Japanese person. If you look into the hentai filter of steam nearly every spicy game is labeled as hentai even though it doesn't even have an anime style, even 3D furry breeding games. People are actively watering down foreign terms at this point. Don't get me started on weeboos going around calling people, waifu, baka, deku, senpai, sensei, yandere, tsudere, ect.
*Fetishization: Yandere Simulator, we all know the game, some love it, some hate, have a love hate relationship. We all know what Pedo dev did that caused his friends to leave and for him to lose sponsors/coworkers. For one the outfits, if you didn't know the sailor uniform is the uniform for MIDDLE SCHOOL GIRLS (This is the equivalent to the western sexualization of highschool uniforms both are gross). We also have people calling asain women "kawaii". Saying shit like "I want a yandere girlfriend" or Tsudere. This is actively putting asain women in a little box and asking them to follow anime stereotypes even though Diane (making a reference) is Vietnamese not Japanese.
*What's the point in all of this?: I want to make the anime community better. We shouldn't be the reason why feminism takes 1 step forward for white women, 3 steps back for Asian women. The reason why people are hating on weebs is the same reason people in america are hating on the police system. Instead of standing up against the shit our fellow anime nerds do we ignore it because some of us grew up when anime was niche and got made fun of all the time. So we developed a brotherhood mentality of "it's us against the world" there for we need to protect and defend each other at all costs. It's not a niche anymore, there's no reason to act like bros gonna kill you if you tell him that he's being a dick by asking his Japanese girlfriend to act more "kawaii" in bed.

In his very first post on the Kitco forum, October 5, 1997, Another wrote "gold and oil can never flow in the same direction". This was a major theme in his writings. To understand Another is to understand what is going on with the gold market now. And in that spirit I have written a short story that will hopefully help you understand this first important message from Another:
Many decades ago the Saudi King realized his barren kingdom was sitting on a gold mine. Only it wasn't gold, it was oil. From his high perch as king, he was able to see the wide and very long view of the world, way off into the future. He saw a future filled with many riches, but he also knew that those oil reserves under foot were only finite cavities of value. As a king, he knew the workings of money and fiat currencies. He knew that the Western World needed his oil treasure, but he didn't want to exchange it for only paper. He wanted to turn his virtual "gold mine" into an actual pile of gold.
Back then, the paper which paid for the oil was redeemable for gold directly from the US Treasury. So there was no problem. He would take the paper and then turn it in for gold. Later, after much inflation, the US Treasury defaulted on the promise of gold. Chaos ensued for almost 10 years. The price of both oil and gold skyrocketed and there were long lines at the gas pumps. For this kingdom was only willing to trade it's finite supply of oil for an equally finite store of value, gold. And without a secured source of gold at a stable price, the oil wells just didn't have the incentive to run at peak production.
Then in the early 1980's, the markets were brought back under control. A secret deal was cut between the King and a few very high, and very powerful leaders in the West. These leaders probably included central bank chairmen and top level leaders in the US and the UK. The Western World was on it's way to world domination, both financially and militarily, but to maintain this power it needed cheap oil. The Kingdom was a good way through it's reserves of oil, and to part with this valuable commodity, the King needed the promise of an equally scarce store of value, gold. So the deal was that oil would be shipped to the West in exchange for dollars AND gold. The dollar price of oil would be kept low as long as the much more valuable gold could be had for those same low costs. The central bank's involved in the deal guaranteed this to the King by backing up the deal with their own vast stores of golden bars.
But these top bankers, like the King himself, were not as dumb as they may seem. In fact, they were the best and the brightest, for they knew that the true value of gold was probably somewhere around $50,000 per ounce in today's dollars. And that was the value of oil to the King as well. His oil reserves might only last his kingdom a mere century, but if he traded it for gold, not dollars, he would enjoy the wealth of his treasure for 1,000 years or more.
The central banks that backed this deal with their own gold NEVER intended to give the King any of their precious treasure. They knew they had a way around that. By using the open markets which traded paper contracts for gold, they could keep the price of gold down to $300 per ounce and the public would be none the wiser. Then, the King with his $30 per barrel of oil could buy future gold delivery straight out of the mines in backroom deals for a premium of perhaps 100% (which is a guess). So for 20 years, vast amounts of gold flowed from the West to the Middle East for maybe $600 per ounce (twice the spot price on COMEX at the time), and those sales were hidden from the price discovery exchanges so as not to affect the price, and the oil flowed to the west freely, at the seemingly cheap price of $30 per barrel. But in reality, the King was getting one ounce of gold for 20 barrels of oil, and if gold is really worth $50,000 an ounce, that's a price of $2,500 a barrel.
So who is paying that price? In a way, all of us are. The mines are making a profit for what they pull out of the ground. They are getting twice the cost of mining. That's a good profit. But the gold in the ground under us is flowing east, while the oil in the ground in the kingdom is flowing west. So who is getting the better part of this deal? I say the King is.
Sure, we have seen unprecedented prosperity for 30 years now. But that is about to end. On the other hand, the King has seen 50 years of amazing prosperity and is looking forward to another 950 years of extreme prosperity. You see, once the oil runs out, the kingdom does not become poor. In fact, that is when the party really begins! They have sold to the West 30 or 40 years of prosperity in exchange for a thousand years of unimaginable wealth.
Then, around 1997, some big money in the Far East became aware of this bargain on gold. But they couldn't get in on the back room deals that traded large amounts of physical without affecting the price. So they had to accumulate physical on the open market which started to drive the price up. This started the 10 year rise in the price of gold..... and oil! For now that the King has to pay more for his gold, we have to pay more for his oil.
And somewhere along the way, too much physical gold was heading east, both to the desert and to the great wall, and the mines could not cover it. This threatened a default in the paper gold price discovery markets used by the Central Banks to protect their own gold reserves. So they were faced with the option of either watching the whole monetary system crash, or parting with some of their own gold. They finally had to ship some of their precious treasure to the King. After that near disaster, they fought the markets even harder, with larger and larger short positions. But now, at this very time, they (the Central Bank's) have maybe half the gold they once had, and they have probably the largest short positions ever too. So they are standing right on the edge of a cliff, holding the end of a rope that's trying to pull them over.
It won't take much for this deal to fall apart. And when it does, we'll see the price of gold go up to probably $5,000 an ounce and then all trading will stop. No market will exist for gold at it's true value. For those that have all the gold in their possession are only buying, not selling. Oil will skyrocket too... if it flows west at all. This is coming, and soon. Buy gold. Hold gold. It only has to meet it's true price once in a lifetime and that will be more than worth the wait. I believe this is not a once in a lifetime opportunity right now, but possibly a once in the history of the world opportunity. Silver, platinum, commodities... they may all do well. But nothing will come close to the true value of gold. $50,000 an ounce may even be low. – FOFOA
ANOTHER (THOUGHTS!): The Inside Story on the Gold-for-Oil Deal that could Rock the World's Financial Centers:
https://www.usagold.com/goldtrail/archives/another1.html

I'm male 32, she is female 32. Open to feedback or thoughts.

My love,
I'm writing this now to try to capture how I'm feeling, as I'm feeling it right now. I meant what I said last night, that it is a miracle someone like you can exist in this world. I've never met anyone as generous, humble, giving, supportive, pure, honest, as you. You are so special, beautiful outside and in. I love our life and our routine. I could easily continue. Exploring the two of us, hanging with friends, traveling, gives me so much joy. And the warmth, strength, and comfort you have provided me in a very difficult time in my life has been an incredible gift and privilege.
You deserve so much joy and happiness. I can't bear to watch your pain. You don't deserve it. I don't know if I'm ready for marriage. I don't know if I'm ready to move in, to actually plan a life with another person. It feels too big. My life is a confused, unstable experiment. My business is unpredictable. Will I have a [specific art] career? Is a [specific art] career even possible anymore? Is [my start up] a real thing? Can it ever be? I'm not suffering, but I am aware that I haven't made a single dollar in almost the entire time we've been together. OK, more than a single dollar, but not a living I should make to be able to give a real life long commitment to anyone. People say, "You'll figure it out as you go," but that seems horribly selfish and terribly stressful. It's not fair, I can't ask you or anyone to take this risk with me, not until I know I can support the lifestyle I want to provide and the future I want to give.
I know how this middle space is hurting you. Last night, at dinner, all the girls were talking about dream wedding locations and I could feel your sadness. It kills me. You don't deserve to feel that way. As someone who loves you, I can't bear to see you tortured like this. You told me you want your father to walk you down the aisle. You deserve that. He deserves that. I can't be putting that at risk. I also think it would be also wrong to push this before it was time. Asking you to be more committed when my future feels so up in the air feels wrong too. I have to leave [our city]. I know I need a change. Maybe not forever, but for a year or so. I've been here too long. My industry is in shambles, and I feel like if I'm going to have a chance, even the slim chance it already is, I have to see what is possible in [another city]. It may be for nothing, but I have to know for sure.
I love you so much. I truly hope and pray we can be in each other's lives forever. We have a loving, touchy, sexy, romantic relationship. We also have a deep and secure friendship that manifests in other ways, our talks, our dinners, our tennis games, our belief and support for one another. If we aren't together I know things will change, but the most precious and deepest parts of our relationship can endure, and deepen, and grow. I want this to be a lifelong connection. My mom cares so much about you, I think your parents care about me too. I care a LOT about them.
A huge part of me feels dumb for not leading the charge to more commitment, because of how special you are and how beautiful our relationship is. I think we could endure so much. But I feel bad asking you to be more serious with me when so much is unfigured out about my journey. Maybe in three or six months things will be different. Maybe it will take more than that. But this current no-man-zone is hurting us both so much and I can't bear to hurt you. You are an angel, a miracle, a pure creature who deserves not to be made to feel unwanted or unloved.
Taking a break is the hardest thing I think I can do. It will be awful. Not snuggling with you, or laughing with you will break my heart. But continuing like this feels unbearable, knowing the pain I am causing. Knowing what you deserve. I hope I can give that to you one day. I know that if it is meant to be, it will be.
The stress of my career has caused me to be less than the partner that you deserve. I have been agitated, short tempered, distant, depressed, and rude. I have been hyper focused on my job, my own pressures, and have been less than the boyfriend I want to be. The stress of our situation has also caused me to do and say things I later regret, and don't reflect the person I want to consider myself as. I feel like I need a moment to recenter myself. To get a hold of myself, and get my mind right. I don't feel healthy and strong the way I want to, when dating someone. You deserve the best of me, the best of anyone.
I can't bear to think about not being together, not knowing that I'll be seeing you tomorrow or another day soon for certain. that we have a date night or a weekend trip just around the corner. I am worried I may spiral into a depression that dwarfs whatever I am experiencing now. That's why I hope if we do take a break, it is a break, a pause, a moment to check in with ourselves and smartly consider what we want. In a perfect world, maybe we could continue to see each other or slowly take steps back. I don't know, that may be counter-productive. I love you so much. You are my piece of mind, you are my breath of fresh air, my break from the stress and discomfort of the world. I value you so fucking much. I don't know what the right thing to do is. I hope whatever happens we stay close, stay in each other's lives as deeply as we can, and always keep the road clear for finding the way back to each other in a romantic way, if that's what's meant to be.
I love you forever.
James

For context: When I was really young, I was passed along an adult red eared slider terrapin of from another member of my family. She was already fairly big but has grown a lot over the years. When I moved out and went to college, she stayed at my grandmother's house where she had always been since having her. Unfortunately, my grandmother passed away last year, and I had to take the turtle with minimal supplies and time to prepare. We have been managing and I have been slowly trying to upgrade her tank and figure out how to better care for her because the care my grandmother provided for her was minimal. Lily (the turtle) is now a minimum of 16 years old, and I am having trouble finding docking solutions for her that are large enough for her and strong enough to support her weight that she can climb up onto in her progressed age. I know I need to most likely invest in an external docking area like the above ground cage areas eventually, but currently can't afford to get her one because it wouldn't work with our current lights or lid and she often tries to escape so I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving her lidless and having to replace all of the other lights and trappings for the enclosure. I was also thinking of upgrading her tank size eventually and getting a new lid before doing so (not that I would even know where to start.) seems counterproductive with my budget as we are trying to buy a house and move soon. (We also don't have the room for a larger tank currently until we move.)
Also I beg of you, please don't come at me about animal abuse or neglect. I really am doing the best I can for this turtle, and I love her dearly, but the setup I inherited from my grandmother is essentially the same setup she came with (minus several pieces) when we got her from my aunt all the way back in like 2008. This situation is the eventual result of someone buying or catching an animal they didn't know how to care for and giving it to their kid and it getting passed around to no less than five members of my family, with myself being her permanent landing spot. I've had this turtle almost my whole life and I don't mean to be an irresponsible pet owner but before taking her wholly into my care and actually doing research, I had no idea how much we were supposed to be doing that we weren't doing.
Also any other pointers are definitely welcome. Like better filters, for example. Thank you in advance for any advice at all. I'm desperate. I've tried doing my own research and everything I buy ends up not working for her. I'd even build something myself if I knew where to start.
Edit: to be clear, she does currently have a dock, but she really struggles getting onto it and it has trouble supporting her weight, so we've put a ceramic(?) flower pot underneath it to try to help support it while she's on it, but she keeps pushing it out from under it, and she's too big for the dock and every dock I order is either the same size, smaller, or harder to get to stay up in the water.

(F4playing M) The Right Cullen Carlisle/bella slow burn
Hello there, do you love Twilight? Do you love slow burns? Do you wonder what it would be like if Bella had gotten to be with Carlisle? I do, and I may have the perfect role for this.
A little about me: my name is Em. I am a female in her 20s. I am in the CST time zone, though I'm more than happy to roleplay with you if you aren't in that time zone. Typically, I write around 500–1k words per post. I can from time to time break the discord limit, so I would like you to try and match me. I write in the third person, but this role seems to call for the first person. So I apologize if that is a little rusty. I enjoy NSFW content, but it will not be the main focus of the role. I do a ratio of 80 percent plot to 20 percent smut.
So what would I like from you as a partner? I’m so glad you asked!
I would like you to match my length; be okay with chatting out of character. It’s important that you have read the books or seen the movies. I enjoy sending funny videos and making playlists for our roles. So please be open to that. Also please have a discord. I use discord to role-play.
Now that that is out of the way, let’s get to the plot and start!
Plot:
After graduation, Edward gives Bella an ultimatum. She must marry him to be changed and have her last human experience. Bella finally breaks down, realizing that maybe just maybe Jacob and Charlie were right. Edward doesn’t love her, or at least, love isn’t enough.
Bella tells him no, which leads to their breakup fight. A huge fight, leaving Bella alone but happier. She is afraid that she will lose her family because of this, but Alice sees something that changes that. In her vision, Alice sees that Bella will still be like them. The only thing that has a chance is the person by her side. Little does the Cullen family know that their father’s marriage is falling apart. Will Bella be the one to put the family back together?
I know the plot is kind of short, but basically, Esme and Carlisle break up. Bella and Edward are over, leaving Bella and Carlisle to seek comfort in each other. The password is t.i.t.s.o.a.k bonus points if you know what it stands for.
Starter:
Graduation had happened, and the attention was finally off of me. I could blend back into the background once again. Well, until Edward made his way over to me.
The last conversation hung heavy in the air. I asked to be changed, and once again, he begged me to marry him. Something changed after the last conversation, and when it finally hit me, why wasn’t I enough? There was always another hoop I had to jump through for him. I was tired of it.
“Bella,” Alice said with a smile as she floated to me. Her beauty once again makes me feel a little less than. Alice’s dress was long and black; it was flowing behind her as she walked. “Come on, we are throwing a party at our house; you cannot be late.” Alice said. Her smile made it seem like it would be alright. I shot a glare at Jasper, who just smiled.
“Fine, but what about Charlie? He will want me home,” I said, hoping that would get me out of this. “Relax, we covered it with Charlie; he is fine; I even brought dinner over for him.” She said it in her musical voice.
Agreeing to a party thrown at Edward’s house was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t want to even be in the same room as him; I knew it would come down to the same fight. He would ask me to marry him, and again, I would pause, unable to say no.
Walking into the Cullen house, I smiled at seeing Esme cooking, though she looked almost out of place. It seemed like she was hiding something. As I pushed past the kitchen, I tried to ignore the next part of what was to come. His room used to be his home. It used to be my happy place. No, not the room; he was my happy place. Now I wasn’t sure.
“Bella, let’s talk about this.” He said he was next to me in a flash. It took a moment for my eyes to adjust as I looked at him. “We have talked,” I said, watching his jaw clench and his muscles go rigid. “I don’t want to marry you yet.” I said. It wasn’t entirely a lie. I did not want to marry him anymore. “Then you will never get what you want.” Edward said the vermin in his voice was heavy. “So that's it? Just like that, we are over.” I asked as I got up, walking off. I only made it to the doorway before turning back to him. “Yes.” He spat.
“Can someone take me home?” I asked, walking into the kitchen. Alice nodded. “Carlisle can take you home.” She said it with a sad look on her face. The garage was cold compared to the rest of the house. Though the black sedan Carlisle waited inside was warm enough, “Thank you,” I said as I slid into the passenger's seat.
“Bella I want you to know that you will always be welcome in our home, even if you and Edward are not together. Sometimes love isn’t always enough. I understand that more than you know.” Carlisle said. I wasn’t sure why he was opening up to me, but it was a welcome change. “Thank you,” I said as I sat there for a moment.
That night was the first time I dreamed of Carlisle Cullen. It was also the first time I slept without nightmares, with Edward watching me. It was also the last time I saw any of the Cullens for a while. The last time I saw them was seven months ago, to be exact. Sure, we still texted and stuff, but I spent most of my time with Angela and Mike now, even seeing Jacob and Seth more.
Well, until today. “Bella, pack a bag; you need to come with me,” Alice said on the other end of the phone. Even with the panic or some other emotion in her voice, it was still musical. “Okay, but I’m not talking to Edward,” I said as she pulled into the driveway. I hung up the phone and watched her pull up along with Charlie’s police cruiser.
“What’s going on?” I asked as I got into her bright yellow Mustang convertible. “Esme is gone.” She said in a barely audible whisper that before I knew it, a letter was being shoved in my hands. The crème stationary was heavy, like cardstock paper. The letter, the goodbye letter Esme had written to her family and Carlisle, was in my hands. “How can I help during this?” I asked, chewing my bottom lip. I didn’t exactly know Carlisle well enough to be in this, I thought. “You help him; I have seen it.” Alice said her voice told me she was sure. I was the one to pull him from this.
Even now, the house feels strange, like I shouldn’t have been in it. Though I knew I was more than welcome, “He is in his study.” Emmett said. His face was expressionless, no doubt because Rosalie was clearly upset. Jasper was trying to ease the emotional tension in the room. “Okay,” I said as I walked up the stairs slowly. My blue jeans and sweatshirt were starting to feel suffocating. I knew they could all hear my heart race, but no one said anything. I was so grateful for that. Knocking on the study door, I paused, waiting to see if he would answer it. If he wanted to speak to me, “Carlisle? I asked softly, knowing he would hear me even through the door.
—————————————————— Hello there! Please include the following when you message, so I know you actually read the post.

1. Password
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Hey everyone
I’ll try to summarize this the best I can. My husband and I have a good marriage. We have 2 boys (6 and almost 3). I am a SAHM, and am happy doing the majority of childcare and household cleaning. My husband will help out with some cleaning but it’s mostly me. I do all the school stuff, except my husband likes to do field trips - and thank goodness because I get sick on buses lol I take the kids to their activities and my husband tries to get there when he’s not at work. We have a great system I think!
Having said all this, the only thing I really rely on my husband for when it comes to the kids is taking them to their doctors appointments. It’s something I just really don’t like to do. I’ve had past health problems with family members and the doctors office just isn’t a happy place for me mentally at times. Of course, when my boys were babies I would take them to every appointment and my husband would often meet us. But now that they’re older, for standard check-ups — He takes them.
I never thought anything wrong with this, until last week.. I took my oldest in for an appointment. When the nurse sat down and started talking to us she says “Wow mom! Haven’t seen you here in a long time.” I replied “oh yeah, usually it’s their dad doing the doctor’s visits!” She goes on “How about that. How nice for you! Some of us don’t have it that easy.” I said “I guess, sure.” I left it alone and kept it upbeat.
Then the conversation went on to ask standard questions about my son. We were talking about my son’s nutrition (he’s very picky, so food talk is common), and she asked if what he likes to eat. And he was namingdifferent food, and then said “and Double 3’s!” This is a restaurant in our area. And the nurse goes “Yum! Me too. I bet your dad takes you there.” Then before she left the room to send the doctor in, the nurse goes “So you think you’re going to start coming more? Hopefully we’ll see you more! Take care sweetie.”
My ears swelled up with tears. I literally felt like the biggest piece of shit. Am I thinking too much into this or was she being an asshole? Or am I doing something wrong? I didn’t think there was anything wrong with my husband taking them in? Thank you for taking the time to read this in advance. ❤️

I recently had to properly kick my first ever player, things got a little intense between us for it and well left me on the all sorts of spectrum of emotions sides. I just had to get both feelings and my logic for the reasons for this removal of at the start, a good player and good guy and character that.. to me just started to not be. Maybe to just vent out, maybe to see if I was justified, but also to hope that, if there were points I didnt see or think of at the time that someone can help me think better if a scenario ever bubbles up like this, I have a better headspace to go about things right.
To start, I am more or less a newby forever DM (1 oneshot game to my belt under as a player), my current running campaign is only my second, going 2 years strong now. Its been bumpy recently do to my work schedule last few months but we are nearly up to our 100th session together and things have begun to heat up story wise and excitement wise by my players. Everything's in the story is homebrew more or less, both my own works and others I found and my players bring up to me.
At the start of the game, I had 5 starting players, and the one in question was one of them. We lost a few of them, first sadly I more suggested he leave, as much as he wanted to play, it was to the point he was playing while traveling via busses, planes and others (he traveled alot for his daily life events he couldnt get out of) an never mentioned when these would happen. That went smooth, we were both polite and I wasnt upset with them, just upset a good player like him will have hard times with finding a table. Better ways, would have been having a blast with them to this day. The second was starting to act up, I had to shoot him down a bit hard at times, more so when a new player, a girl, joined up an he started being a bit inappropriate and not act like the character he told me he would be. After I started blocking his more chaotic antics, he pretty much ghosted the group all together. Our third player who left is more on a prolonged hiatus cause of his work schedule, but he keeps in contact. So as far as the original party goes there are only two, with the first whom replaced our enthusiastic but unable to stay with us player being 'Miss 3 1/2's'.
With most of that out of the way, I can get onto the player in question. Again, he was there from the start, only second in my player search to start this campaign. Wanting to play a neutral good paladin who grew up a simple farmers life and was on a life walk-about to enrich himself before his turn to take over the family farmlands. At the start things were bit fine, he showed a general interest to hooks that kinda developed in the intro fight, making some good goofy aspects with his character and interactions and at least at first, an interest to some of the things in the world at the time. But looking back, I did likely trust him with a bit much, the other characters likewise were very 'go with teh flow' but they liked to investigate and get into things outside the city that they were given slight hero titles to after the start of things. With him though, he did 'actively' have his character go to get the town effective 'quest board' and ask around if people needed help with things... and.. not tell the other PC's about it or try an start the missions or plots.
While in itself it wasnt 'bad' people also trusted him a bit as 'the note taker' at first, so maybe we just expected him to go into things later or something, but, this became something I was concerned of with him on it. I mentioned his own story progression aspects from the start of the game, well, when given a lead that would let him undo a poor families ailment he showed interests too with time to go at least check it.. he suddenly invented a sister for his character.. who was getting married, back in his home country, that they 'had' to visit right then an there.
He had been vague about his characters history, he may have mentioned a sister 'in passing' but nothing ever set in stone besides his Grandfather being the true head of the farm and his dad. Not even anything about his characters mother, an now suddenly he wanted to spend a week or two travel via air ship to go see a 'new fiance' on top of it. I admit, I wasn't too happy but I also didnt outright pull him to the side to talk about that. Mark against me I know.
But it kind of worked out, as because no one could do much since he was kinda blocking the group from reaching the intended quest givers that he swore he would get with (2 of the other remaining characters at the time mostly had their stuff working on things they were trying to do that wasnt too crazy but at least progressed their characters in ways). And Miss 3 1/2 wasnt sure of her character at the time so played a temp one to feel out being another class and style for a bit. It helped her bloom a little. They ended up helping another little quest idea i had for halloween, late it was, but had fun with it an great action. But do to how that took an bad dice rolls which I do no flub or such, they got sidetracked from things an had to go back to go onto a quest 3 1/2 got them to.. an he wasnt exactly actively happy or doing the quest (guard a noblewoman on a quest to one of the countries for buisness matters. Kinda.. avoided the woman in weird ways.. like trying to push the hotel cooks asideto 'show them how its done'..).
When the crew finished with it, it was with another teaser to quest lines he was kinda pinning the group with. Again unfortunately the rest were 'kinda' okay with his choice on it but they were doing a bit more to be active now so it wasnt likely to work out for long. Around this time is when 'Work Haitus' had to sadly step away, so i started to put feelers out for new players again. During this time, he was still kinda pulling back on things as best he could, but he started to show a.. interesting trait. He wanted to start 'grinding' for EXP.. without going into the literal forest where some creatures could be faught, instead, he went to the city coliseum. Now this was explained since session one, I dont give any real EXP for fights there, quit literally if you have a fun sparing match or a more rough bloody match in it against a tamed or caught creature or class person, you'll only end up with 1 xp point. I did this cause I heard of a number of stories of 'those' players showing up, going to fight pits to make themselves stronger an not bother with rp time stuff. But I also tweaked it, so you could make bets for yourself, and the boon of prize and noterity (IE, people start being more favorable to you, seek you out that sort of stuff.. which considering he had so many 'hidden to activate quests' at this point wouldnt have mattered either way). He very quickly stopped after his 2nd or so solo attempt and made a passing comment on being upset of it. I overlooked that time.
During this, the entire party collectively was sought out, as the city knew 'all of them' roughly, so no reason only someone looking to the quest board would be involved alone. They were given a new quest by a neighboring kingdom, to deal with monsters they had ties with from the start as an already active side-story plot. He kinda 'backed' a bit into doing his characters 'im off to clean the broom closet' antics during some of this.. alot.. so looking back it feels he was upset not only was he not 'in charge' of getting the quests, but that the whole party agreed to be invovled with it regardless of anything else. I did try to bring him bback in, by having that Sister and her Fiance appear to meet them since he couldnt make the meeting.
There was some .. issues.. he kinda started to instantly mistrust the fiance, he litterally used 'every' detection spell he had on them trying to sus if they were demon, enregy or otherwise. An more or less ignored the sister even when she asked him his plans on things.. an since he 'left the sibling things to me besides she pranks him maybe' he didnt seem thrilled that she was upset the 'Lord title' brother, who won plots of land in this country an was going to open, I kid you not, an 'Pizzaria Inn petting zoo pet super plant farm forge and factory' on said plot of land with 'secret super caves our befriended monster friend will terraforming for us'. Short version of the monster thing.. monster had no such ability and at best had very tiny cute versions of itself digging out the cave, one pebble at a time.. this is when i noticed he sort of 'half' listened to details given.
I will admit, I wanted to have a moment where the sister was going to become some sort of 'rival', if she couldnt find way to convince the older men who are currently running the farm that big bro might have more important things to do as 'a Lordship hero paladin' maybe its time to break 'the men run the farm' tradition. In character he was warned 'she really wants your farm, and as someone whose seen people go extremes maybe you should reach out to her so its not so bad an no bad blood has to happen'... he kinda took it that she wants him dead, sorta. Took a bit with the informer to correct it.
He .. 'kinda' tried to 'make it up to her' i think by baking her favorite pie an admittedly as a nice act gave her his holly symbol which was the family's given by grandpa to him.. no biggy as the city hade a temple of his goddess to get a replacement soo.. yeah. Honestly I did talk with him a little on it.. but this is when another aspect started being apparent.
I hadnt mentioned, but I am not a fan of no call no show specially when we had a constant schedule, he had a few, but 'did' sorta apologize, at first. We do everything discord and roll20, so when he starts to not appear i would '@' the group and then '@' via DM's, and there maybe 'weeks' to 'months' if theres nothing 'important' to talk to me about response wise. And at the start of those times he started missing alot. An also, not apologizing or saying why. He doesnt always have to I know, but given we were having fewer players, wed have sudden 'we cant plays' cause it was 2 people only..
Then, we get introduced to not one or two but three new players. I kinda worried with them being prior friends and click group but its been working out for most part. Timing for ones admittedly stunk, an their on a personal leave Im not faulting but having their character background for now. They show up, an their characters, well starting at high level for at least 2 fresh faces an one long term one is a little odd, but its been fun. They instantly get into their characters mindsets, weird quirks that fit their upbringings and own style of things, but they also work as a functional communicating and asking questions group with slight airs of 'they are not lower class but deal with both from the noble side of things' air to them. Again its worked out, given they lost a litter hard hitter the three work great.
As the plot went, they were actually being lured away by a group who they helped bust antics an get called out on it in the city, the bait was just 'oh it might be the same type of monster you guys are looking for who might eat an entire city', done via a modified memory spell on the patsy. They were lead to a campsite the badguys set up to be a kill/trap spot.. It was a bit rough with things, but the group was doing 'amazingly' well. But I had an even bigger surprise for everyone, to take our game to a new level an give a 'big' meaty plot hook to hype and put every character on an equal 'i dont know anyone around here/dont have the same resources you do' foot from how the characters went, as an idea to build their bonds.
The trap, got ambushed, by a big honken monster I teased the first players with barely into session 4 that was a corps but came back. An this thing was a beast, CR minimal 20+ an higher (i suck at figuren the maths) but yeah, it was 'not' a winnable fight they could escape from that even the badguys said 'truce till were not monster food???'
It blew apart the trap-badguys, an sent the PC's hurdling into a space that was supost to be instant death, but plot armor I intended for em saved them if only 'barely' but now, their in ' a ocean like space between the outter realm and multi realms', with faint contact by the holly characters gods saying 'theres a way back, you must return'. including to the Paladin an 3 1/2 (who is cleric).. and honestly, everyones raved to me about it.. but looking back agian, given lack of Paladins communications 'out' of his appearances in game.. he hasnt said much, unless someone else starts it..an even then its.. barely a sentence..
The players were picked up by 'friendly pirates' an have been discovering things and gaining new strengths.. least, most of them again. 3 1/2 really bounded with the new NPC's an been expanding their character (shes been very creative that way an shes really gotten into the player bug, im sooo happy i could get her into the hobby) the new players had their growths too, the full slightly higher brow noble of them has come to terms 'hes mortal an can die, but people need his strength' too, as well as 'living is hard.. their not just 'dirty' or something by chance its just the efforts of their brow' to the sorceress of his friends being delighted to be sailing the seas with quirky merman, turtle an other type pirates with treasures an jerks to kick in the seat of the pants. Even the other first player has tried new character aspects, trying to be a 'new version' of himself till an event happened (which he half told me of, but it was more workable then 'sudden sister quest').
But.. paladin has been a bit more missing an sadly we have had spotty game times cause this is when my own work schedule has been bad. An again, he never gets back or says 'oh sorry cant make it' or whatever happened. I brought up a bit ago about his passing remarks of the exp thing for this point to make, he doesnt like to have his character have much of my homebrew stuff.. despite how many treasures hes had that hes just gone 'i sell it' or 'eh if you want it take it dont want it' that has been (a) a plot starter, or (b) a pretty handy if maybe OP item, hes just passed them off even from session z where I give every player chances to pick a unique thing for their character that helps tie them to the world. He opted out of it, an through everything they have done an gathered.. hes held onto a grand total of 2 homebrew things.. a sword, that after a 'certin point' he used as his hexblade warlock focus point with his goddess also being his patron, and 'one' spell that I had to reach out to offer him, well, technically '2' spells. One that he could use to turn a mundane object into a powerful magic weapon, an a ritual spell that he needs to cast to regain uses of the other spell.
The reason this ties to the EXP block from the coliseum bit, is because as part of the ritual to regain usages, he has to create a small 'choke point' of a ritual spell ring to fight an unending horde of monsters that the spell summons to fight just him. Now, the monsters are extremely low level, like 1/4 cr, an they wont try an kill him, as the ritual ends when hes KO'ed. It took a bit before he had to properly cast it in ession (big surprise, had him recharging it on some of the missing day's of his). But when eh did, an he finished it, he did instantly ask 'how much exp to i get?' an kinda grew hushed when I said 'you.. get your six usages of your spell back?'. I.. low key wonder if he wanted to try an use it as a cheat to grind or something..
This also does not help that, just prior, 3 1/2 managed to do our 'biggest' damage in a single round during a hord fight, literally between her spells an a new weapon with some seriously amazing rolls, did over 200 hp of damage on her own. To the point she KO'ed the boss monster leader. granted it was with a smart play and some literal crit hits, but thats when his vibe for games started kinda feeling off big time. An come now, to the more recent events before the kick..
I had a rare day off i could have a game completely unhindered, an we agreed to all have it.. sadly starter 2 forgot the US has Daylights saving, so we did loose an hour for him getten outta work. Eh it happens. An sadly the new 3 didnt get to join in so it was an agreed on one shot. Well, that 'was' the idea..
When we started.. when we 'could' have started, I gave them the quick plot of how they got to this place (this all happened just before the event with the pirates so they had their stuff but meta'ed they were still their current levels). Now, Im loose with my own OS's, so I used a module i bought that looked fun an it was interesting. I did have to build a bunch of rough doubles of the maps, since turns out the PDF didnt want to let me get the pics right at the time, so wasnt focusing too much on some details but for key point ones. Its important for later. But anwyay after the basic 'you did a hero thing an was invited to a small isle city by its noble ruler who has big parties every week an your the guests of honor', you know the usual kinda crud. Well i started to get into the start of it, about to go to details of the maps location.. when he, stopped me an blocked me to go 'oh i climb the building or whatever to get that gun!'.....there was unfortunately an image of a gun on the part of the token i used to build the maps clocktower..didnt notice it.. he sure did.. an kinda derailed me a bit more..reminder, we were an hour late into session.
I managed to get back on track, the security at the start of the party line stoppen the crew an saying 'sorry its a costume party, dont worry we always have spares, pick one' an they got to pick a set of masks for themselves. They rolled to take turns, he got first dibs, an picked one he 'really liked', but I do kinda wonder cause my tag name relates to what it was.. Well, I sent them the screenshot of the masks an their effects as an item/equip card... he started to.. get sour sounding.
In prior in between an pre game times, hes mentioned hes.. not exactly a fan of alot of stuff. Even some of the oldest movies an comics that are still being made now an are big on fandoms, hes got zero interests or cares for.. an on troupes, he is not big on mysteries. An sadly, the mask gave him an ability thats great in discovering secrets...
Well, I started to bring one of the moduels NPC's to start pointing out details, give them some hook bits an background to what goes on normally in the city... and.. he used that one use ability to check if she liked her mask.. literally stepping the entire conversation, then walked away to break into that clocktower.. that had the guns on it..
3 1/2 an second 1'st decided 'lets try an get on with the actual story regardless' an tried to go to the party which they did, trying to get him to come with too, crossing the small castle bridge to get to there an start mingling as they do.. paladin did 'eventually'.. but first he shimmied the bridge to use up his stealth abilities from the mask... then when 3 1/2 noticed, tried to get him to come in, he... started climbing to the top of the castle wall..
His character, never acted like this, in any OS we had before or in game before. Second 1'st did do a little weird, but it was stuff his character was infamous for, but not good for the long run. I admit.. I lost my cool, I didnt shout, yell, or otherwise.. but at this point, from when we 'late started', to paladins 3'rd athletic roll to scale the building he was invited for, we had lost over 2 hours of our usual session time an it was very apparent he was really not going to act like the character we were accustomed to.. so I said, 'sorry guys, see you next time'.. admittedly, I did kinda vent in our group chat text wise.. I was pretty upset an tired i cant lie on this, i had spent very early hours on the maps an looking over to familair most of the thing as best i could while having lack of sleep beforehand. But, I basically just said, if you dont feel up to a game please just say so cause putting all that time en effort for even a one shot was time an tiring thing an just frankly kinda rude antics for no reason just hurt.... didnt use cures or otherwise but that was about it..
It did help that, the group reached out to me about it, even both our Hiatus ones.. everyone but Paladin who kinda went back to basic no coms with me pretty much like norm.. he kinda missed a few more sessions between then to now.. so lets get to what became the last straws of the DM..
So, in the 'undersea' places, the crew realized that, the party had something they could use with their nations rulers to try an breach peace with the races that was locking everyone up in this space between the multiverse, to escape some big dangers thats happening here. This thing was second 1'sts 'tie in starting choice' i gave the first party options too an hes loved ever since, giving his character a level of importance. Of course there is the risk the guys could go 'we dont need 'them' for just 'that'. but thankfully its the nicer space sea folks side so thankfully its all negotiations. I rolled beforehand to see what outcome would happen.. not the best roll but it was one with surprising good results but the meeting was postponed with the intended target cause.. well the system got fragged as they sent the unintended invite back to the outer realms and their time slot to reach out to there was lost. So the party an the friendly pirate captain npc buddy was told 'come back in several months well try again'. The captain was telling the leaders 'oh sure no problem' while giving a 'if we dont find you guys a way back to your side of the world to stop that big bad monster for good first 'wink' to them..
An paladin.. confronted an tried telling the nation guys the details in a... weird way. I really dont know how to explain how he said it it still sounds weird to me. But he basically wanted too.. convince the nation that 'the party' could end all their troubles.. against a hord of demons an undeads effectively 'not understanding' the monster that threw them here was not one of the creatures in question. Which even after i pointed out 'if he couldnt do more than 13 points of damage to that thing, how would he think he can beat the monster he 'thinks' made it?'... which on that matter, he was told multiple times it wasnt.
Well, the rest of the gang tried to talk reason to him, even pull him aaway.. an i had made split choice of the captain decided to put a 'command bracelet' on him, effectively 'if you fight the order given you get zapped an paralyzed'. telling him 'please stop an lets talk about this somewhere 'safe'... because the party and them werent safe..
People in the sea space place, dont like people 'from their side' not that any survive coming down to there. Again, they survived via their plot armor's they dont even fully get yet. With the leadership litterally saying to him before the captain dragged him to the doors a bit 'let them hang for all we care'...
Well, paladin passed the check against the paralyze effect (again, i give honest rolls unless absolutely necessary which i dont like doing..) an.. he had his character chop his hand off, use every will save till he passed the players spells an use his tp abilities to get out of any grapple an ran into the building to more or less brow beat the leaders into listening to him...I made a choice as the captain npc... an ran for the ship to get the heck out before his crew would be arrested an maybe killed for hiding the PC's, an the other PC's likewise, ran for the hills too with them saying 'your mad if you do this'..
That is where that session ended, he made a passing comment 'guess ill reroll a character for the time being'... an he never showed up for the following one despite knowing 3 weeks in advance..though it turns out he 'did' roll stats for a character after I left the chat an roll20... an 'then' designed his character... which at first i was iffy but gave him a sheet to fill in to go ahead an start worken it, not knowing he had pre existing stat rolls for it or clearing that with me.. something I dont like..
Well, cant say i fault him for not knowing this, none of them did.. but there was a planned event for the city they were in. After the 'meeting the outsiders' event, they were going to be there during a siege by the monsters the leaders were worried about. I had the mechanics that, theyd get swarmed by mooks they could likely kill in a round or two at worst with a few higher level front line commanders thrown in, for each one of these theyd get a -5 to around -15 against a d100 roll (which I infamously roll low on all the time) on how much the city gets damaged up (multiple of the results for fyi), where either (a) they would stand their grounds just enough to cause the enemy to tempt pull back from the current onslaught, (b) the do enough damage an pull back gettin more then they need for now (long story) or (c) the party retreats for the time trying to pick up some survives they could fit on the ship an get the heck out as the city is torn up...
Instead.. I roll flat 3d100's as the party 'just' avoided the guards an lockdown.. which didnt add any bonses for the city guards chance to prep ships an counter attackk.. of the three, 2 in the ninties, one over fifty.. the city was whiped out.. I was 'devastated' that now i may have put the paladins character in a state he was just outright mamed and couldnt even give his player a 'last hura an fade to black'...because they never showed up or said anything...
I had to take a day or two before i sent the news to him, i did kinda phrase it a little angerly but i was 'where were you what happend'?... no response the entire week, right up to our next game session with nothing being done to that character sheet i gave him for a month..
And then came to our last bit of communication.. one hour before we started, he wanted to ask me about his character creation thing.. he stuck with the class i was iffy on to begin with but he.. went with a completely different class, an frankly he was maxing out the stats on the class too..
I confronted him since at least then he was 'finally' speaking to me. He was giving me the 'he would have convince them' speach of his characters plans.. I was just getting more confused by some of his responses of what that even was. The 'misunderstandings' of his character of what things are going on, why he did an extrem like 'why would he cut his hand off' an then he admitted no matter what, his character was going to leave. All on the fact his 'Paladin Alignment as Lawful good' wouldnt let him 'let a bunch of people die in the city'... his character has pulled back from fights an stuff before, while yeah if he saw a fight he would totally try an defend someone if need be, but, the abandon the party thinking they were doing wrong, knowing that the plan the group would be involved with after the outsider meeting, was to go search for things that might power them all up enough to be on the same playing field as the monster that beat them, or event he ones attacking the undersea side.. He even made a passing comment 'yeah i know they all talked about it for an hour'.. when.. he caused the conversation to las tthe hour by having them repeat it different ways several times.. something he also did alot im afraid when the quest was not one he started/invested in specifically of himself (the starting foot of it happened to one of the new players an 3 1/2 while he was on one of his missing days again).
He made a slight passing comment about me jus killing off his character an how they were acting as a 'what if someone wanted to play something else' .. which i did ask 'did you want to play something new why didnt you just ask?' to which.. he kinda ignored an went on. It was roughly at this time that he said he was trying to focus on his wizard spell list that i clicked to he was playing a new type of character all together.. one he admitted he wanted to play as 'weird and kinda crazy'.. it honestly sent chills to me given his 'sane' character did something extreme out of the blue for no reason an would never had done before was a bad sign what he considers 'slightly weird/crazy' would be.. but i was further made up set he made up a character only 'after' getting rolls he didnt get clearance from me with beforehand. I asked if this was the case which he confirmed and simply asked 'what want me to do point buy instead?'... an thats when I said i dont think he was set for my game again.. most so since all this all he focused on, again, an hour before game time, was only the basic mechanics an nothing else (given my honest mistrust of him springing something on me on this point with the sister visit 'quest').
I had literally given him my reasons, told him didn tlike how many red flags hes pulled lately. Including our game communities famed words by players who do things that tend to do things that.. kinda make things weird or bad or start to trail from how they start as.. When he first started missing the bulk of sessions, an losing plot interest, was when he 'lost his notes'. Then an most infamous last appearance, literally last bits hes said when he decided to have his character leave (which in hindsight i think he may have just wanted but again.. pardon me for guessing since he never communicated) 'Its what my character would do' when he had him cut his hand off.. Then during our conversation when i was trying to figure out what the heck was all that an what happend he said 'because my lawful good paladin couldnt let that under his oath'... his 'netual good' character whose hidden monsters under his house, stolen from a school of magic, made friends with an had sight powers from a devil an a few other shady things to say the least...so he was plannen or taking that his character should have a diff alignment without communing with me on it..who knows ont hat one..
I honestly did my usual, 'i dont think this game is for you' exit speech... an he said 'dont bs me with this over polite crap' an tried to make me say 'i want you gone'.. he was more or less animate on the specifics of the words.. and I think i know why..
Because, the players have a private text chat, not that hes much on there himself unless his character name is mentioned multiple times, but they do have it for funnies an stuff between em. I dont mind it, but.. at some point when I officially announced I'd be removing the player in our whole group chat.. he sent a very cropped two lines that was the tail end of us with me saying him in the groups not looken good, but told them 'i shouldnt be contacted about this'..
Tooo bad for him, I screenshot everything big like this. An further bad for him, the new guys an me talk alot too, like constant, and he forgot, 3 1/2 are friends for over a decade. 3 1/2 told me that... so i reached out to the rest of the group, shared the entire thing with them on the spot, saying 'i am sorry, its been bad with all these points' (i mention in here better more details after all, given how it was an hour of getting heated an trying to get him to tell me what his game plan is or anything else if need be given everything else sounded like he was flipping between wanting to be something new or... again i can only speculate since he just went offensive/defenses with no explanations or stuff to understand him the player). an sent them the entire conversation the two of us had as a screenshot.
While I was polite an just saying 'dont think the games for you' which yeah is a little over gentle.. after i pointed out one of them mentioned with a tiny screenshot of only me saying 'you should go' an the 'dont talk to me about it'. He honestly said 'i told them they shouldnt bother with it' like they should have just listened to him on the get go...an that 'he' would send it.. told him I already had. And for that level of honestly kinda manipulative tactic, both trying to isolate the party from me and only showing the 'closest' he would have of me saying 'i want you gone' comment, which he had stressed for a bout a minute i should 'say' in our private chat, i cant help but wonder if he was seriously trying to poison the well between me and the others.. an then said he would 'show them the whole conversation.... well he kinda got super silent with the private group and to me when i said 'i already sent the whole. I told him, good luck an goodbye, an then removed him from my DND group.. he suddenly for the first time in 2 years 'went offline', on my notice thing, so i think he made himself invisible but at first i thought he blocked me.. made a passing comment to test, but he went 'no' an was suddenly fully online an back to his MMO's that he 'usually' played too much an overslept some of our early day games on... not surprising..
The rest of the party were.. thankfully understanding, 3 1/2 suggested we didnt play but i pressed on but we did kinda vent.. helped one of the experienced newby of the three was a dm, an said 'hey its what you feel too, if he was making you feel uncomfortable at the table with that, your alright to feel it an remove him' which helped too..
But part of me does have to have that nagging feel since, he is the 'first' true kick i have done. ALl my other possible problem players ghost themselves from my games an he had been in for 2 years.. not that we done much since we are nearly at our 100'th session an only 'now' getting to the possible tea of the world i have been sitting on for 3 years since started working on the campaign over it. I left it openf or them to discover, an things started to click when the new guys came in an started being able to 'take lead' a bit on group choices.. not waiting for the paladin to lead them.. but.
of course, communication is '2 way street' i know, I said he didnt talk to me on things but likewise maybe i shoulda been more active reaching to him. To a point I tried, but, unless it was 'hey want a new power or something' ...he didnt respond back much. Again we had not much on similar things an it feel slike he was cluing in that many of my influences was from comics, movies games an anime that even if he was into the fandoms of, he didnt know alot as I have a broad and little known spectrum of series. Maybe a bit of it was lill mix of we didnt upfront what we expected, but also disinterests... but I do know at least 2 of his fave games.. tha has owning land, getting bonus in some way from that, an thats that.. an some other aspects, kinda in hindsight were what he wanted/expected for his character at times.
Again, my thing is full homebrew, an always say 'hey if you find something you like, lemme know an see maybe we can toss it in.', sadly some of the gang dont take that up too much, but the new players have lately an its been fun. He did at first 'start' suggesting something.. but with no set things, so when i brought up things that we can do for it he kinda.. shot em down, like not say full on no but.. just went silent.
In the end, Im upset with myself over not confronting the problem a bit more 'first', but i guess i just started to let him just 'be silent all the time is fine the problem goes away' as much as he did it when i reached out to him. Hell if he stepped away for a bit, sadly perfect since his first character might be KO'ed, i may have taken him back if he just said 'been dealing with things' or 'wanted to be something new' or, 'can i try something crazy'.. but in the end he only wanted me to respond in the moment to what he came up without double checking things an it can happen so sparatically, so 'railroady' for me an the other players I just cant anymore. An knowing hell honestly try an manipulate my words behind my back to the rest of the players.. yeah Im not trusting that player at any of my games ever again and wont ever trust one like that... but I hope it doesnt turn to that for just that factor an not because of other reasons that can be avoided...
Anyone who reads, thanks for your time. If you got tips or mindsets to consider for me here, like to help get them like a mindworm to maybe help me over things, given how my head is still lill swimmen on it both emotionally an thoughts. I guess maybe im looking to see if I was valid (I know for my 'mental health' i was, but want to know its not just my own head thinking it an maybe cases like this is at least partly justified). An hey, if you ever had a sitch like this, lemme hear how ya felt too, never helps bottling it in. Just typing this at first as a note to myself before it showed up anywhere helped me clear my head a fair bit, so theres always getting the words out there wither someone's ear or eyes take it is a nice way to get the happy feels in. Next order buisness to feel better... getten to those cursed die rolls (come on Dice Gods treat me an my players failry, ah dangit another 1! I thought i blotted it out!)

You follow Captain Ajax, sneaking along. The enemy not clued into your where abouts. You see a beam of erotic transmissions bombarding the surface from orbit.
"Hold up here" Ajax says "we don't want to get hit by that. Here take cover behind this."
"It's important when fighting the Arbiters to limit your exposure. Too much and you'll start making tactical errors, rushing in where you shouldn't, I've seen friends too far gone throw themselves on erotic grenades lusting for more." He sighs staring into he middle distance
"keep you wits about you. Limit your exposure. Let's go" the beam passes and Ajax climbs over and continues on
You run the rest of the way, arriving at an underground bunker door. Ajax, presses a decoder key on the door. The door slides open, and you both walk in. You notice the place seems to be shielded from the orbital erotic bombardments. As soon as you enter you feel the tension disappear on your mind.
Ajax, stands calmly inside.. brushing himself off.
"Ahhhh it's always nice to feel the pressure lift" he says visually relaxing
Relaxing for a moment you, breathe a sigh of relief, the pressure gone
You pass through several security checkpoints and Ajax handles security. Entering a command room you see maps, and tables with plans. Then there's a wide open window into a massive domed room.
You see Captain Ajax talking with some people in the corner, gesturing towards you. They nods and point at a nearby map
You take a moment to peer around, looking through a large window into huge open space in the bunker.
Thousands upon thousands of people huddle in makeshift shelter
Your mouth drops as you take in the emensity of the situation. All these people.. you were sent to help them. To help them survive. To delay and stall until the fleet arrives. A cool sweat draws across your body as you feel your skin crawl with gooseflesh.
Breathing deep you gather your resolve as you see Ajax walking towards you
"They are saying we need to get ships, we can't do anything more from the ground. There's two hangers. One has battleships we could use to take the fight to the arbiters and release pressure from the surface. Then there's civilian freighters, we could gather the people down there and make a run for it? What do you think?" Ajax says
Battleships Freighters

Hello, hello. This is a plot I've had floating around in my many RP ads on other forums, but I've never gotten any bites for it. I've been craving it for quite a while, so I made it its own thing here.
In the big city, two performers decide to put their skills together to make it big. At first, their romance is a facade in order to attract attention, but as time goes on, their feelings become much more real.
For this one, I was thinking it could be a slow burn, but if things go well, things go well, I suppose. We can write our own songs for this or figure something else out.
Here's some info about me:
I use she/her pronouns
I'd like to RP with someone 18 or over
My replies are fast, but if the RP does not interest me, I will lose the motivation to write. I will tell you when I get bored, I expect you to do the same.
I have ADHD, and I will hyper-fixate on RPs that I like, talk to you about them, ask you questions about them, and obsess over them. If it gets annoying, let me know.
My replies are shorter, ranging from a one-liner of dialogue to a few paragraphs if I'm really into it.
Bad grammar and punctuation are some of my biggest pet peeves.
I can RP on Discord or Google Docs.
Please PM ME if you're interested.

This is a fairly long post, so please grab a drink and some popcorn before undertaking this odyssey
As title, I just want to find my forever person and create our own unique and beautiful life together; I want the whole thing: our own home, a long-term monogamous relationship and kids one day, hopefully a few dogs and a turtle too haha. I got out of a relationship ~6 months ago, and I've decided I want to look for my soulmate again. I miss the feeling of waking up and immediately sending a good morning text, and sending & receiving random memes and texts throughout the day. I want to look at my phone and feel my heart race and a smile emerge across my face just because I've seen a message from you. I am well aware of the likelihood (or I should say unlikelihood) of my future soulmate living within a few miles; I do not want to restrict myself so I'm very happy to accept messages from all over the world! As long as we can see each other on a somewhat regular basis (every few months at the very least) and we both have compatible future life plans, an LDR is absolutely okay with me.
About me:
I'd consider myself to be an endearing and nurturing person, and I just love to see the people around me, and hopefully you, happy. I love to make people smile and laugh, and this is something I want our relationship to be full of. I'm an avid, and shameless, appreciator of dad jokes and darker comedy, so I really hope you also like this. My love languages are definitely physical affection, quality time and words of affirmation, with the affection being the most important to me. I love the idea of sleeping in each others' arms all night long, holding hands whilst in public and more. I wouldn't say I have an ideal date, but I do love the idea of cuddling together under a blanket/duvet on the sofa, watching a silly movie while its snowing or raining outside. I'm also very mental health positive.
I'm quite nerdy, I am a STEM student (studying biology and hoping to progress into molecular genetics in postgrad, and hoping to complete a PhD some day) and I love the humanities, with a specific focus on history, psychology and philosophy. I have an insatiable curiosity for the world around us, and love to read and watch lectures & documentaries to better understand it. I could chew your ear off for hours talking about ancient history, the Enlightenment and why Raphael is the best Renaissance artist, and ninja mutant turtle :). I love to travel, which is definitely fueled by my love of history, and I've been to ~15 countries so far, and hoping to see Iceland, Rome, Egypt and Jordan this year too. My ideal relationship would have us travelling often together and creating a little scrapbook for us to annoy our neighbours, friends and family with haha. I love to try, emphasis on 'try', and touch my creative side every now and again - I play guitar and am in the process of writing an album (though procrastination is bettering me in this department), I like to paint with acrylics and oils, and I enjoy going to the theatre occasionally. I'm also trying to get more into movies, so please feel free to recommend any 'hidden gems' out there! I've never been to a festival, but it’s been on my bucket list for a very long time; hopefully we could go together?
I absolutely love travelling and I just want to explore everything the world has to offer; I’m even going to Iceland, Italy, Morocco and hopefully Egypt this year. I have literally a million trips planned (US/Canada roadtrip, Jordan & Egypt, Scandinavia, etc), I just want to share those experiences with someone important to me. I also love everything outdoorsy including hiking, swimming, kayaking (I did this for the first time last summer and I instantly fell in love), climbing, etc and enjoy most sports though I am terrible at all of them haha.
I also love music and painting, and I will likely play guitar whilst we are chatting. It’s not because I’m bored, it’s actually the opposite - I only really play guitar infront of/to people when I am in a really good mood, so hopefully you enjoy it. I have tried expanding my musical horizons by making myself listen to a new album every day, and let me give you a secret, Blur are goddamn terrible.
Physically, I am 191cm tall (6’3 I think?), I have blue eyes & brown hair that lightens in the sun, Caucasian & tans well in summer. I have very broad shoulders and strong legs from a lifetime of boxing & running. I don’t have any tattoos currently, but do have a few design ideas.
About You:
I’m looking for someone who also shares an insatiable curiosity for the world around us, and wants to explore it and experience everything it has to offer us. For a few years now, I’ve wanted to take a year or two out just travelling the world and seeing/experiencing as much of it as I can, and I have already planned the route for this. Ideally, I’d like to bring someone I really cared for with me. IMO, there's something strangely appealing and wonderful about the idea of living life in a different place each day with whole new experiences and people to meet. Where everything would be different in daily life, the only thing I want to keep the same would be you. I want your smile to be the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to. I also hope you’re in touch with your creative side. I absolutely don’t care if you’re good at art, but my ideal day would end with the both of us painting something stupid or gently playing music to each other.
I'd like for you to be family oriented; I've spent over half my life looking after children (I have 4 niblings, and they're exhausting haha, but I love them) and one of the many things I've learned is that I 100% want kids myself. I've spent an almost embarrassing amount of time (probably over a month in real time) daydreaming about my ideal future - our own home, that we've possibly built ourselves, filled with love and happiness. I want our kids to always feel safe and comfortable there, I want our home to be the centre of the community where all our friends and neighbours can come to if they need somewhere to stay or just want a chat. I want us to spend our entire lives together, through all the good and bad, but it'll all be okay because no matter what, it'll still be us falling asleep together with you in my arms. I want to wake up everyday with my first sight being your smile, for the rest of my life. I want to build this beautiful life with someone that also shares this dream.
I wouldn’t say appearance is important to me as I am looking for love and I don’t care what shape nor size that love comes in. I only want someone that has a complimentary personality to my own, and will tolerate my nerdiness haha. I don’t have any preference for location, age, weight, skin & hair colour, etc, though I listened to Van Morrison a lot as a kid, so you’re instantly at the front of the queue if you have brown eyes (I love the idea of my very own 'brown-eyed girl'). Also contradictory to this paragraph haha, tattoos and dyed hair (really anything considered slightly ‘alt), absolutely makes me weak at the knees. Also, I am a complete bum-man, where a simple flash of the skirt or a seductive sway whilst walking is enough to make me ravenous; I just thought that was useful to know.
I feel I should mention some potential dealbreakers as these have been important to others in the past - I am bisexual and have dated both men & women in the past; however, I am only looking for a woman right now. Also, I am strictly monogamous, and this is extremely unlikely to ever change, so please do not reply if you would like an open relationship or something similar in the future. Lastly, I don't think I'd like to live in the UK for the rest of my life, so hopefully you'd be happy to move to a country in Europe (maybe Germany, Scandinavia or Belgium) or the Anglosphere (I'd love to live in Australia or NZ at some point in my life - they both look just breathtaking).
Congratulations! You’ve made it through this absolute unit of an essay. If you’re interested in me/what you’ve read, or just want to ask some questions, or even looking for a new Minecraft mate, please reach out. I’m very much an open book, so I will answer any and all questions, thank you!

She's not even my husband's sister she married his youngest brother. The drama all started with her wedding where she claimed I tried to upstage her by wearing a white dress.
The first year I was dating my husband his youngest brother was getting married. We got invited to the ceremony but not the reception. No big deal to me but my now husband was super pissed about being excluded from the reception. My SIL was a huge bridezilla from what I've heard and had tried to ban him from the ceremony but my BIL's family made her invite him to the ceremony since it was his youngest brothers wedding. I wore a dress I had worn to another wedding with no issues. There was no color scheme to follow and no dress code so I thought it'd be fine.
When we got there she was mad that we were even there and seemed super stand offish to me which was confusing because I've never gotten that vibe from her before. I figured it was just nerves and hassle from the short time she had to plan the wedding. My other BIL's were making shotgun wedding jokes before the ceremony. Sure enough they were right.
Her dress was stunning but very clearly wasn't tailored. It was supposed to be a curve hugging tight dress but it was definitely too big for her and you could tell she was smuggling a baby bump. I will add for context that my husband's side was very well dressed. All of his brothers and their friends were in suits and his sisters were in nice dresses, even my MIL and FIL were dressed in formal wear. Her family was not dressed nearly as well. There was a girl (not sure how she knew the couple) that was wearing ripped jeans and a spaghetti strapped shirt and her bra was sticking out, it was definitely not wedding attire. The rest of her family were dressed the same. Even her parents weren't dressed nice it looked like they were wearing clothes to go do farm work in. I have no issues with casual weddings but it didn't even looked like they tried. I thought she'd be more mad at them than anything else considering how they were dressed.
The wedding was on a public beach and was very rushed. I stuck to the back because I wasn't super close with anyone but his family and made it a point to stay out of the way. When the ceremony was over we left and had a nice date night at the beach. All was good until the next day when my husband gets a call from my BIL's new wife screaming about how I specifically ruined her wedding and tried to show her up by wearing white to her wedding. He explained that my dress had some white in it but NO one was going to mistake me for the bride. She kept screaming that I ruined what was supposed to be her day for showing up when we weren't supposed to be invited because "I need the spotlight on me at all times" which I don't. If I'd have known it was going to be a big deal I would have worn a different dress or not even gone.
Every time since then she's made a huge ordeal around us when we show up to my MIL's. One such occasion was when we got the entire family together so they could have one last day together with my FIL. At the time he was battling ALS and was bed ridden. My husband was taking care of him and staying at their house. She had the nerve to kick us out of the house while she was there and excused it with PPD. My MIL ate it up and we spent most of the time outside except for when my husband was helping my FIL, when we had a prayer circle for him. She even threw a fit while WE were making dinner for 14 people and stayed in the basement throwing a tantrum.
I was quiet during all this because my husband needed support since him and his father were super close. Cut to the next year we had a family dinner we were both pregnant at the time both with boys and she was trying so hard to get my sons name out of me. I told her we hadn't settled on a name yet. She kept trying to ask everyone else if I told them the baby name and even asked my husband. My husband said the same thing. We did have a name picked out but we weren't sharing because we were dead set on our name and didn't have any other options that we liked.
I'm glad we kept it a secret because I'm 100% convinced she would've stolen our baby name had she found out. My sons name is pretty unique (I've only heard it one other time) and when I saw how she spelled her sons name I knew it was the right call to keep a secret. Not only is her sons name slightly unique but she butchered the spelling to make it more "unique". When she found out my sons name she threw another tantrum about it.
At another family dinner 6 months later everything came to a head. We were in the middle of planning our wedding and she made a comment about how it was a good thing we were finally getting married so we weren't "living in sin anymore" and how it was a shame that we didn't get married sooner because our son "was a bastard child". I finally snapped be rude to me all you want but don't make a comment about my kids. I said "Well if I'm paying 2 grand for a dress I actually want to fit in it" she got mad and asked "what's that supposed to mean" I said "Just what I said, it's not my fault you got pressured into a shotgun wedding to appease a cult but I actually want my wedding to be special and I wasn't about to be the third shotgun wedding in the family. Since I'm paying for it I'm going to enjoy it by drinking and having fun. It's not my fault you were to spineless to do the same."
This set her off and started a huge screaming match between us. My MIL told me that I needed to apologize and I refused so they stormed out and we haven't heard from them since. I feel bad my husband hasn't talked to his youngest brother since then but he agreed that it was a her issue and not a me issue and had my back during the argument.
This is not the first or last awful in law problem I've had with this family but I'm happy that I married a good man who has my back.

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So I dunno I feel like I should share this story because I know a lot of autistic people are in the same boat as me in terms of diet. So a lot of us have like. Kinda limited diets in terms of safe foods and stuff, right? And I'm an autistic adult who lives independantly from my family, which I know not a lot of us are able to do, full time jobs are EXHAUSTING.
And for the longest time I assumed being exhausted at the end of the day was totally normal. I wake up at about 6 am to commute by bus because I cant drive and I get home about 6 pm after a long uphill walk from my bus stop while working an 8 hour shift at a school in between all that. I assumed being super tired was just. Normal. Or at the very least, normal to experience because of my disability. It's a long day for the neurotypical people but add a disability like autism and anxiety into the mix and there's a lot of extra draining there.
.... Turns out you're not supposed to be so physically exhausted at the end of the day that any moving at all after work is painful. I had to get a blood panel done because I'm trying to start testosterone and it turns out. My blood. Is all out of whack. And it's probably because of my diet. Compared to a great deal of the autistic people I know my diet is pretty varied in terms of food types and textures, I definitely know a lot of people who have it way worse than me. I do the meal prep, I eat breakfast lunch and dinner, I eat fruits and vegetables, it's apparently not enough.
Because like I'm getting all the protein and carbs and stuff I need to survive the day but I'm apparently missing a TON of important vitamins. Namely because I can't afford to eat things like red meat (and the texture is. Nasty.) and I cant afford the vitamin-fortified brands, also I dont like them a lot of the time. Like for example yoplait yogurt is vitamin d fortified and is about a dollar more expensive than the great value brand yogurt BUT the great value brand yogurt is cheaper and I think has a SIGNIFICANTLY better texture and flavor than yoplait so obviously I wasn't buying yoplait.
But as it turns out according to my blood panel I have basically no vitamin d in my system whatsoever. And my b12 levels are deficient enough where if they got much lower my doctor warned me I could suffer brain damage.
So now I'm on 50,000 IU strength vitamin d pills (the average supplement is 600-1000 IU for reference) and I'm on daily b12 drops (that taste NASTY btw)
And I've only been on these vitamins for like. A few days all together. Like since last thursday so like 4 days now. And the difference in my energy levels is. Night and day. I'm not in so much pain after work. I also started taking a regular complete adult multivitamin- nothing fancy just an 8 dollar bottle of the equate ones that has like 200 in there so that's like 6 months worth. And. It helps. See I kind of excused some of my daily problems as a result of my autism. Like surely I must be so anxious and depressed constantly because of my autism. No, as it turns out my vitamin D is so horrifically low it's a miracle I'm not collapsing at work. You're supposed to have 60-90 nanograms per mL of blood and I have 12. Vitamin D deficiency causes anxiety and depression, and while there are totally other factors at play, like that I had an inherited anxiety disorder and have had depression symptoms since I was in grade school, it explains why it's been so bad lately. The day after taking my first vitamin D pill I woke up so happy and ready for life that I did a weeks worth of meal prep including breakfast (which I never meal prep because I'm too tired after meal prepping lunch) and I picked up a pill organizer to organize all my daily vitamins and birth control and my weekly vitamin d pill. The next day I did laundry, cleaned my room, organized my many many hats, and set aside what I will wear for work tomorrow, AND bought myself a birthday gift after making sure all my finances were in order until my next paycheck. I have energy when I wake up in the morning and I fall asleep way better with my melatonin now. It is a WEEKEND and today I NATURALLY woke up at 6 AM after I went to bed at 10 PM WITH MY MELATONIN GUMMIES. And I started doing things! And I enjoyed my weekend!
If you're like me and you suffer a ton because of your autism just know. It might not exclusively be the autism. If you're like me and your diet is kind of restricted you might need to start taking a multivitamin because you're not getting what your body needs to survive. They make gummy versions for those of us that have a hard time with pills too. Dont be like me and wait until you have to go to the doctor for a totally unrelated reason to figure out that your b12 levels are so low you could start suffering brain damage if you don't treat it, remember even if you have a disability you're allowed to have problems that aren't inherently untreatable because of it.
Idk I see a lot of people on here talking about how EXHAUSTING everything about life is and I 100% agree!! But it could also be more than just the tism and if you're not like aware of your vitamin intake from your food and stuff you might want to consider that as a potential source of added internal stress.

Hello!!! I am 23yrs old/FEMALE and I recently moved back in with my mother. I used to live with my best friend but cannot live there anymore (reason cannot be disclosed for my safety)
So my mom is a HUGE hoarder. She is very in denial about it too. She says "If only i had a garage it wouldn't look like this" Which is true, we used to have a good fair amount of money and a larger house - space for more items. We now live in a tinier house and do not have a garage. She says we can just put everything in this room by the kitchen and make that like a "closet" but that room is already full too the brim.
My old room I used to live in before I moved out is also full to the brim. Without thinking about how I was going to get my items out she piled tons and tons of things in there. There is a sink faucet? An old toilet? a light up christmas tree? You cannot even walk into the room and all of my items & old furniture are in the BACK of the room.
Today my friend and I moved all of my items and clothes back to my moms house. We brought clothes and I wanted to donate some of them because it is A LOTTT!!!. Like 4 bags full of clothes and I have no storage space since my furniture is in - you guessed it - the back of my old room. I told my mom "I am going to donate some clothes if you want to make a pile of stuff to donate too I can take them when I go" Her response was "Can I look through them"
I paused and said "...No"
She said "What do you mean no? What if some of the clothes are mine?"
I replied "None of it is yours, its from my friends house"
She said "Ok grandma" *referencing my grandmother and her mother who always wants to donate things*
She told me I was hella rude for not wanting her to go through the clothes. I know that if I let her go through them she will just keep every single item. My goal with donating is to try to get rid of stuff in my house!!!!! Not donate it to another person in my house!!!!!!